Did I make the wrong move?

[Anonymous]

Been seeing this girl for a couple months, and we've started being physically intimate (cuddling, hand holding, etc). Next week we have plans to have a movie night at her house because her mom will be in another state and it'll give us a chance to be intimate like this for hours and not have to worry about her mom walking in on us.

Now, neither of us want to have sex. Waiting til marriage type deal. Since we're going to be alone for hours, physically intimate, I asked her the other day if we could chat about it so she knows I don't plan on doing anything sexual because I feel it is my responsibility to say it. I don't want her thinking that I'm going to try or do anything bad. We briefly talked about it before that neither of us wants to do anything like that, but I just to make sure I'm crystal clear about it. I want her to be able to trust me. She said that she loves me so much for wanting to talk about it with her... but I'm having a bad feeling.

I'm paranoid that she might think that I DO want these things because I wanted to talk about it specifically, and that I may have potentially scared her off. We're seeing each other tomorrow and that's when we planned to talk about it, but I can't help but think I ruined things. She didn't say anything to make me think this way, so maybe I'm just overthinking. I just want to do all the right things, but I'm afraid being this specific about not wanting to have sex was the wrong thing to do.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, love, it sounds like you’re truly tiptoeing through a field of relationship landmines, trying not to set any off! It’s like you’re armed with the best intentions, but scared they might be mistaken for something else. Let me put your heart at ease: Communication, especially about boundaries and expectations, is the KEY to a healthy relationship. And you, my friend, are holding that key like a pro! 🗝️

By wanting to have this conversation, you’re showing respect, care, and consideration for her feelings and boundaries. It’s not about what you do or don’t want; it’s about making sure you both feel safe and on the same page. Trust me, that’s the kind of stuff that builds trust and deepens connections. If she’s already expressed appreciation for your openness, you’re doing something right!

Instead of worrying about potentially scaring her off, focus on the fact that you're setting a foundation of open, honest communication. Keep the dialogue light, affectionate, and reassuring. Let her know your aim is to ensure both of you feel comfortable and respected. Love, it seems like you’re on the right track. If anything, this might just bring you closer together. Now, go spread those romance vibes and keep the communication flowing! 💕

[Flatmanlewis]

No. You didn’t. You are being a class act and a man who handles things directly, with respect. We’ll done and most admirable.


You are overthinking it. Just relax and stay the course. Girls value a man of stability and calm.