Guys, have you ever rejected a woman’s friendship? Why/why not? Ladies, have you ever been rejected by a man with your friendship?

[Pinay_ako]

[Madlc]

One girl, I didn’t reject her friendship, I just went away because deep down I wanted to sleep with her so bad.

we are both religious virgins and I didn’t want her to realise how I sexually felt about her.

she had a really long hair thick hair and she was really short, I felt like fucking the brains out of her.

she was a sensitive person too, which was a turn on.

I honestly never have had such sexual energy towards someone like her even though I didn’t have feelings for her.

[LunarEclipse433]

Yes because on closer examination she was bat shit crazy

[Pinay_ako]

Lmaooo how

[LunarEclipse433]

Thanks for the MHO!!

[OlderAndWiser]

Once, I had a mentally retarded girl approach me to be her friend. I suspect that her interest was more romantic than sexual, and she and I had absolutely nothing in common, so I made some excuse to avoid spending time with her.

[Apple1996]

Nah I have stopped talking to male friends but it was never a rejection

[DishLady]

Since around college age I've been told by guys, "I can't just be friends with you." And I can appreciate the honestly in that, though I do miss my friends. It's happened perhaps ten times in my life. Very sad each time to lose that person that I could confide in.


One in particular broke my heart and I cried over it longer than I cried over my divorce, which I'll never understand. But actually once we split as friends we met very nice people along the way (though those were both short term relationships and we never spoke to one another again despite being in common circles). That just tells me that people perceived us to be "like a couple" because we shared so much with one another, even thuogh we were always just friends.


Sometimes even though you're not looking for sexual tension to build it does happen and the guy — the gentlemen — will be up front and tell you "Look… we can't be friends." or they don't like our boyfriend and they back away with something similar to the "I just can't see you with that guy." in my opinion, if a guy does that, don't bug him too much. He's trying to do the right thing for both of you.


Technically, it's slightly easier for women to go through their physiological longing over a guy because no one sees our physiological reaction. Guys… sometimes can't help their physiological reaction and so it's good to know enough to step away. Additionally. guys and girls both experience emotional turmoil over relationships (whether they're friendships or more) and it's important to respect when someone sets a boundary.


Some guys/girls tough it out, thinking that they'll be able to work through the friendship, but it's really painful and causes a lot of misunderstandings along the way.

[PeachyPie93]

Once this guy who used to call me on the phone every day rejected my friendship because I told him I liked him, he said he liked someone else. I was like that's fine, can we still be friends? But he said he didn't think it was a good idea to be friends with me. So he stopped talking to me and deleted me off Instagram. He weirdly hit me up 4 months later and said he felt bad and wanted to be friends again. I talked to him a bit but I never actually considered him a friend after that, so we lost contact a month later, because I didn't put any effort to reply to him and I never answered his calls lol.

[Pinay_ako]

Hey he lost you now he wants you back. How convenient. Toodles 😂

[PeachyPie93]

LOL defo 😂

[MrOracle]

Yes. Most of the time, in fact. There are rare exceptions, but most women don't really want a friend, they want a "platonic boyfriend" who does all the work, gives all the attention, does all the favors, and listens to all her sad stories about other guys.

No, thank you. They want million dollar investments for pennies of return, if that. That's not me. But a LOT of guys are foolishly in such situations, and they make it worse for everyone. It's a major contributor to hoeflation, and they don't even realize they are cutting their own throats

[lmkimcurious]

Great answer. So what exactly does your ideal friendship with a woman look like?

[MrOracle]

@lmkimcurious It would be a woman who builds a reasonably equal relationship with me, rather than expecting to constantly RECEIVE things at my expense. Really, I think it comes down to her taking responsibility for her own issues and problems rather than trying to push them off to other people. And I do have a couple of women in my life like this, so it's not like such women don't exist - it's just not the norm.

Imagine, as a guy, if I insisted that my female friend ALWAYS entertain me, always listen to my problems, always show up whenever I had a task to get done, or do anything that was a "traditionally female" job. EVERYONE would see that as incredibly weird and would say that I'm exploiting her. But when the reverse is true, that's just "normal." WHY?

[lmkimcurious]

Sounds reasonable to me! I don’t expect my male friends to pay for everything and I’ll always try to do things myself first.

[MrOracle]

It's not necessarily about money; a lot of it is favors. That could be anything from a ride to fixing something (car, computer, plumbing, electrical, fence, etc.) to helping them move. I've had female friends ask for all of these and more. I already work 50-60 hours a week, mind you.

When a guy asks for such favors, he knows he is either paying his friend normal price OR he is feeding them well, proving beer or sodas, AND is subject to being asked for a reciprocal favor that he cannot refuse. But women will ask for hours of hard work in trade for a bottle of water and a thank you because she's broke, but she's wearing a new outfit and taking a travel vacation.

This is why most women WANT male friends - because they get so much while having to give so little. It's also among the reasons why more men are withdrawing from women altogether. I don't go that far, but I purposely keep most women at a distance - acquaintances rather than friends.

[lmkimcurious]

I’m sorry that’s been your experience. I don’t think all women are like that though. But I understand your stance for sure. Thanks for answering my question!

[MrOracle]

@lmkimcurious It's not just my experience - it's the experience of nearly all men who aren't in the top 5% of men (as graded by women). Most "average" men (the 80% of men in the middle) are looked at by most women as "not good enough to date", but they have strength and skills, so women want to be their "friend" to have access to all of that. This then also allows them to date the bad boys who either have no skills or have absolutely no intention of ever doing any work for her. Again, no, this is not ALL women, but it's the majority, to the point where this is nearly a universal experience for men.

[lmkimcurious]

When you say the top 5% of men as grabbed by women, do you mean that that’s what defines the top 5%? Sorry if that’s a silly question. Also, I believe you but curious where you’re getting your numbers from. Is this just an American thing?

[MrOracle]

@lmkimcurious Talk to 1000 single women from age 20 to 40. Ask them to describe the man they are looking for. Compare those attributes to the general population, and you'll quickly figure out that they're looking at a very small percentage of the MOST attractive men.

For example, tons of single women today insist that a man has to be at least 6' tall to date her. That one factor alone eliminates all but 14% of men. Most also want their man to make AT LEAST $100k/year. If we assume 100k is the cutoff (and not something higher), these two factors eliminate all but 6% of men - and this 6% includes MUCH older men, men with existing kids, ugly men, fat men, etc. It really doesn't take very long to narrow things down to a very tiny percentage that most women are willing to consider. Again, not ALL women are this demanding, but most area, and the ones who are feel perfectly entitled to demand such rare men, despite being no where near the top of the scale themselves. In a world where most women believe they are 10s, it's not hard to see why most men are invisible to them. (Again, this isn't just me - this is MOST men's experience.)

[lmkimcurious]

Ok so you’re just going off of women you’ve talked to?

I read a book called For Women Only about surveys done asking men what they want in their romantic relationships and it also addressed the ways men think that women might not be aware of. The author wrote another one called For Men Only where women were surveyed. I’ll have to read that also I guess. Now I’m curious!

[theycallme_jd]

I felt like I was always on the giving end and she was on the receiving end in the friendship. How do most chats happen? The guy texts the girl and she responds. Next day, the guy again texts the girl and she responds. The guy stops texting? The girl doesn't give a shit anymore.
I wanted to see how she would react if I stopped texting her cuz I got those vibes off her. And as I expected, she never returned. And one day, through a common group we were in, she told me casually it's been so long since we texted. I as I had to, asked her why she didn't text me then. No response. That was the end.
I hate girls who think boys are entertainment, to "win them" or like I'm some daily TV show. Like show some effort yourself

[Pinay_ako]

What about a guy who likes to go out of his way to see and talk to a woman for months then one day he just tells her we’re not friends! What happened there? The woman was nothing but accommodating listen to him talk but she never was mean or fake to him?

[theycallme_jd]

I didn't "go out of my way" to talk to her. I don't even know who texted first. We just started texting and slowly she would only give reactions to anything I had to say, and say or do nothing herself. It almost felt like I was keeping the relationship alive by texting her every few days, otherwise she wouldn't care. I didn't have stories to tell her, for her to "listen to me talk" (I could literally use a diary for that too), it was literally just normal talk all the time, and she would respond and nothing more. Is that really how "friends" are supposed to be? Does it hurt to text on your own? Or, in the case if you really have nothing to say because life's been busy, you could say at least that? She wasn't busy anyway, she used to spend her entire day on the app texting random people in servers.

[theycallme_jd]

Oh and the "responses" from her end were so bad at the last few days, they were just one letter replies. "k" or "w" or that shit. Then you might also ask me I should take the hint as she might not be interested in talking to me, then why did she text me randomly through the server asking why I stopped texting?

[worldscolide]

I have when it was clear she wanted all of the benefits of having a boyfriend, Without being a girlfriend.. She essentially wanted to lead me on, and use me as a shoulder to cry on when she made poor decisions, Which was SUPER common. The final straw is when her boyfriend, who stabbed her because she had a miscarriage, broke my hand.. I was done with her after that.

[Pinay_ako]

What! Broke your hand?

[worldscolide]

She had just "Broken up" With him, so my girlfriend and i, invited her out to Karaoke. She came along, and then got a text and ran out. I followed, opened the door, and he was standing there with a baseball bat and told me "Do you want some too?" And hit me in the hand with a baseball bat breaking my hand bad enough that it needed screws and a rod.

My best friend was with us, and nearly killed him for his actions. And of course the bar tender and all of the patrons had my back and told the police no one did anything to him, and that he broke my hand. Turns out he was wanted in three states.

The girl, in her stupidity defended his actions and said i was at fault. So i cut all contact with her. If she wants her abuser so bad, and wants to turn on me, her friend, Then im done with her.

[Pinay_ako]

Wow she as bad as him. He could’ve killed you and she’d still take his side. What a friend!

[worldscolide]

exactly why i removed her from my life.

[mobiusforniner]

Yes, because as much as she tried to hide it, I knew she was in love with me. And since I am married to someone else, I didn’t want to give her hopes for a future that wouldn’t happen. So I ended it. And ending our friendship was ironically proved I truly loved her and wanted nothing other than her happiness

Love, is letting go of what you want.

[Mr_twoface]

I have rejected woman's friendship due to various reasons. Some has been related to them only wanting something from me, and others cause I've been informed negative information about them. I have plenty of people in my life that fake people can take a hike.

[Chazmatazz269]

Just once. I used to say, “You can’t have too many friends!”. I still fundamentally believe that, but you don’t need to be friends with everyone. I worked with a woman who was more than a little strange and had gnarly BO. She seemed to take a liking to me but i avoided her. I never really openly rejected her. In hindsight, that may have been wrong.

[RavVid]

A friendship with a woman is different to friendship with a man. A friendship with a man is an alliance, particularly in a work friendship whereas a friendship with a woman always seems to be built on shifting sands.

It is not at all the same thing. It is more froth and bubbles.

[midnightmoon05]

Reject friendship? I don’t get that… so never had that experience..

it’s just so natural to hang out and be friends… or.. no not this weekend… let’s hang out next weekend… something like that…

[IslaTheWitch]

no, it never happened... but our friendships formed with time and were sealed with some important events... so we just became friends... we didn't need to ask for that in most cases...

[TommyMountainFigure]

It's a tough one to answer, because I can be friends with the opposite sex, if they can be just friends too, then no I wouldn't reject their friendship! I do feel though sometimes things get a bit awkward and I have to back away

[dustybiker2]

I wouldn't want to be close with men I don't click with, so never been in that situation of being rejected. I have rejected and removed people who snapped and went insane. It's happened here on gag. But that's the flip of the Q.

[JacobJordan]

There is absolutely no benefit I would gain from being friends with a woman.

[Pinay_ako]

So why do men approach women? Is it always purely romantic or sexual? Never friends?

[JacobJordan]

A relationship/sex/family. There is reason why no single straight men or women can be platonic friends. One always catches feelings if not both. There is by nature a level of attraction to being friends with someone even same sex friends. 2 guys that are friends have something that draws them together not necessarily something romantic or sexual in nature. But for women and men it could start out without either but always turns into romantic or sexual. Reality is if a man doesn't want children the only use women have is sex and he doesn't need to be friends or in a relationship for that anymore. Goes both ways. So if men don't want kids there is no point in wasting time, energy, money or anything else on a woman. And that also goes both ways. If I hadn't wanted kids I never would have dated or married my wife. She knows that. The same way I know that if she hadn't wanted kids she never would have dated or married me.

[theycallme_jd]

I agree with the reply. Trust me it's near to impossible to be truly "platonic" with a woman. It's a struggle you put up everyday.
Unless you're like me who considers his friend a legit sister so we're just like goofy siblings now.

[theycallme_jd]

Oh and a guy and a girl could technically be "friends" but you'll notice that it's never a close enough bond than it is with a guy and his homies or something.

[Pinay_ako]

@theycallme_jd near to impossible to be truly platonic? So you’re gonna drop the woman the No friendship card as soon as you catch feelings or fall for her? Let’s say you had no intentions of liking her if you just work with her or go to same class as her? What if she truly wants to be friends?

[theycallme_jd]

I'm not gonna drop the "no friendship" card. I will still remain friends and try to pursue her. Finally when I do let her know, it's up to her. And if she doesn't accept me, then we would still talk, except I wouldn't really be able to move on from my feelings (not always), until I find someone else I like. But we would still talk anyway. And I might've forgotten to mention this but yes I do meet a lot of girls everywhere I go, and it's not like I won't be interested in being a friend. I would surely be friends but it's not really that deep of a connection, just a respectful talk or banter or something like that. If the relationship grows stronger I have only two things for her: either, love as a brother, or, love as a partner. I'm just stating the brutal truth when it comes to most (I mean MOST) guys. I know many wouldn't accept it but it's up to them.

[Krealot]

No, never. Grew up in a family with only women, and me. Most of my neighbours where girls. Guess I never understood why you would not want female friends.

[CriticalCatDad123]

I don’t do female friends. I’ve rejected 2 outright.

[Pinay_ako]

Why not?

[CriticalCatDad123]

Just don’t trust women. I was falsely accused by a female friend in college and served an ex parte PPO. Had to get a lawyer and take her and it to court where all I could do was slap myself with a civil temporary restraining order in order to have the ex parte PPO removed and sense I didn’t do anything wrong the restraining order eventually went away. Was the main reason why I dropped out of college. The risk in my mind is too great id rather not have any female friends after that experience. Besides I barely hang out with my male friends. A female friend wouldn’t leave me alone

[Pinay_ako]

Whoah! That’s messed up.

[CriticalCatDad123]

Very much so.

[bolverk]

Yes I've rejected more than one woman’s friendship, mainly because I had information about them that was seriously at odds with what how they were portraying themselves, along with a 'gut' feeling about them.

[Starrrboy]

Yeah, for years now.. all the female friends I had started hitting on me at some point and I'm not into the whole " friends first " thing so I figured out maybe just not really have female friends in first place lol..

[AlexEfron]

Friendship? No. Never.

Dates and relationships? Yes (Reason: I was interested in someone else)

[CoeurDevainqueur]

Guys never reject women, only women do reject guys. So why saying you are shy? Afraid of what? Men can be shy, being said no is so hard on the feelings!

[dolemite58]

Ofc, I believe in having female acquaintances but not female friends. Girls only have guy friends so they can use them for attention.

[scooogy]

I learned for myself to accept a woman with whatever makes her comfortable

[HighValue]

If she is in a relationship, I won't hang out with her one on one because I think it is inappropriate and leads to problems.

[beebella]

@dolemite58 rejects my friendship all the time. 🥺

[Pinay_ako]

Oh how could he?

[beebella]

He just hates women. 😭

[dolemite58]

I don’t hate women, Bella just can’t be trusted 😛😂

[beebella]

@Pinay_ako I just want to be bros, but he's not having it. 😔

[Pinay_ako]

What does he want? Be more than friends? Ohhhh

[beebella]

I don't know what he wants. He doesn't even know what he wants. He's forever in confusion. 🥴

[dolemite58]

Is this throw dolemite under the bus day and I wasn’t informed? 🤔

[beebella]

@dolemite58 Maybe it is. 😛

[spartan55]

No, but that whole premise is weird.

[Pinay_ako]

How?

[spartan55]

You don't 'reject' a friend, you just stop hanging out with them.

[BLP11520]

Only a few with forceful personalities. I am to laid back now

[Grond21]

Yes. It was not fun at all

[Pinay_ako]

Care to explain more

[Grond21]

There were a couple girls who were interested in me in college. I didn't return the favor, though a couple were cute.

But twice I had to set boundaries with girls who were my friends of several years. The first when I was first learning what boundaries were. She had a toxic behavior that I asked her to stop and she wouldn't, which damaged our conversations. I told her I wouldn't talk to her as long as she continued to speak that way, then she said she would never stop. So that ended it.
The second was a friend from here. We knew each other for a few years, but eventually it soured. There was some unhealthy relating and we ended our friendship.

I miss both of them, and hated that I had to set the boundaries

[Pinay_ako]

Yea we have to set boundaries for our peace

[Grond21]

We do. Especially when they encourage healthy relating

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

Not if she was a good person.

[Pinay_ako]

She is but he didn’t wanna be friends

[Awesomesauce2005]

Yes, because she was married to a Marine.

[12karen]

Nope, as far as I know

[JayBones2469]

No. Never. All I've ever wanted is friendship

[Luckycharms12]

Ya I've enough friends don't want more

[scott04sa22]

Yes and it sucks

[Pinay_ako]

Why does it suck?

[scott04sa22]

Because it sucks being rejected

[NathanDavis]

nope

[NathanDavis]

friendships do become... or they just don't

it's natural for me... not a fussy picker about this

[Kaneki05]

Why would I do that?

[eagle1951]

yeah

[Pinay_ako]

Why?

[Likes2drive]

Not that I know of

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No..

[DonFredoCorleone]

yes because I am a citizen of the country