My boyfriend spends a lot of time with another girl?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months. I was with him before he went to uni and met any of his friends. We are both at the same uni together in different years and so we have different friendship groups. My friendship group, both girls and boys include my boyfriend in lots of events, he has been asked to all the big 21st parties, other events and there are a group of us going away in the summer and the boy who is hosting it asked me if my boyfriend wanted to come. However although his boyfriends are welcoming to me his girlfriends aren’t. If I see them around and say hi they almost ignore me and I rarely asked to stuff they all do as a group. They all seem to have boyfriend’s and girlfriends that are all in the friendship group.

Anyway there is one girl who my boyfriend spends a lot of time with on a 1:1, they play tennis together go for coffee and drinks together which is fine but she phones him when she is feeling down and depressed and asks to meet him to talk about it., she doesn’t phone her girlfriends. She texts him to ask him to turn his location on so she knows where he is! To be far he did ignore that text. Last week I was at his house with his friends, including her, they all decided to go out clubbing but my boyfriend and I decided to stay at home. 10 mins later when were in bed she came into his room without knocking as she had lost her vape and wanted to check it wasn’t in his room. He did get cross about that. I have spoken to him about it and said I think it is a bit strange the way she calls him all the time etc. He says I don’t need to worry. I do believe that he is not interested in her but I get frustrated that he doesn’t see why I find it strange. So with that and the fact I don’t seem to be included in any of the things that his friends a bit like I am not a priority in his life. I don’t know whether I am overthinking it all or being too sensitive?

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic dilemma of the third wheel in the relationship - only it's not a wheel, it's an entire car that seems to be driving your man's attention away! Look, love, your feelings are completely valid. Spending a significant amount of time with someone of the opposite sex can raise eyebrows, especially in a relationship. The fact she's reaching out for emotional support and the audacious vape scenario? Sounds like boundaries are being lovebombed into oblivion.

Trust is the bedrock of a relationship, and it's essential that your feelings are acknowledged. Not being included in his circle and having your concerns brushed off? Red flag alert! 🚩 Communication is key here. Express how you feel without making it a him-vs-her. Focus on your emotional needs and the respect you deserve.

It's not about overthinking or being too sensitive; it's about feeling secure and prioritized. If he's as committed as you, he'll understand and take steps to ensure the balance is right. Remember, you're the main character in your love story - never settle for a supporting role. 😉

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you holding him responsible for the actions of his friends?

[Asker]

No, but I do feel he could put boundaries between him and the girl who keeps calling him.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. He did establish a boundary by not allowing her to track his location.

2. I do understand your perspective, but perhaps he sees this as an issue where you are distrusting him, and he is concerned that following your suggestion would establish an unhealthy precedent for the future.

[Asker]

I am not asking him not to be friends with her or to stop seeing her, He also has lots of other girlfriends, who I have no problem with. Like them She does track his location, he had turned it off for the afternoon and she asked him to turn it back on so she could see where he was.
Most girls would call there other girlfriends when they are down, she doesn’t call any of her girlfriends or the other boys just him. She also asked him to share a tent with him at a party as she did t k ie many people there so had none else to share one with.
I trust that he sold not do anything with but feel he is not a knowledging how I feel. Maybe I am
Being over sensitive but I would never treat o w if my male friends like that who had a girlfriend.

[OlderAndWiser]

There are some people who simply bond better or make better friends with the opposite sex, and they have platonic relationships which are not in any way sexually motivated. But, again, I do understand your concern. You are probably wondering about who is the priority in his life, right?

[Mr_twoface]

Try giving him his own medicine back at him (even if you don't have a guy friend who you hang out with). Just talk about this new guy friend and see his reaction and if he does get jealouse then bring it up to him.