My boyfriend said he prioritizes work more than me. Is that bad?

Question

We are both almost 19 and he has his own business and that he is doing this for us in the future. He said that it’s not a bad thing that his prioritizing work more. It kinda hurt when he said that because I would never prioritize some thing over him.
Is this normal? Do guys always prioritize work over there partner? What would you do in this situation?

SallyTho87 · Accepted Answer

Well, it depends how YOU are feeling about this information. He has made it clear his primary focus right now is HIS business and is concentrating on building it, growing it, and making it big with his aspirations and business goals.
He did inform that his intention was to build the business for you BOTH, but, he has chosen to be in a relationship with you, so he actively should be prioritizing that as well, if it's infact important to him.

If this hurt you, have you thought about the future? Do you really want to stay with your boyfriend if he has admitted that his work comes first? Do you feel okay not being priority to him, knowing he IS priority to you?
What about your wants? Are you expecting to be his priority one day? (this likely will not happen, as the more the business grows, the more responsibility and work HE will need to contribute) so chances are you won't be #1 to him. It will always be his business.

I understand his intentions are to include you and build as a support for you both, but you really need to decide if you're okay coming second when you hold him in first place and prioritize HIM, and your relationship.
I'm not sure why he has chosen to be in a relationship at this time if his sole focus right now is HIS OWN GOALS - not relationship goals, not growing relationship, not prioritizing a supporting partner, etc. He is focusing on himself right now, and ONLY himself.

You really need to think about what you want and decide if this relationship is serious enough to continue if YOU are not getting the prioritization, support, love, commitment, etc. that you're hoping to find or wanting from this guy.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

If he’s doing it for the both of you, for your future, then he is doing it for a noble purpose. I’d say encourage him and show your support in this endeavor. I would not break up over this.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

No, it's not bad - it's almost certainly necessary.

I have no idea what his business is, but at 19, it has to be fairly new, and a new business REQUIRES a lot of time, or it will fail, and he'll have lost all his investment, will be on the hook for any money he borrowed, AND he'll be broke. Would he be more attractive in THAT situation?

You've got a guy who is trying to build something for the future - a future that will potentially benefit you significantly. That doesn't come free - nothing good ever does. The price of a comfortable future is sacrificing some time and attention today.

You could be dating a guy with an 8-5 job who is home at 6:30pm every day - but that guy may be struggling financially for the next 20 years or more. Is THAT better?

As an adult, you need to understand that EVERYTHING has consequences, and you can NEVER have it both ways - you don't get to have a good income AND have tons of free time; it's one or the other, at least in the early years. Real life isn't like teen TV shows where everyone has money but no one ever works. In real life, work consumes most of your time, and you do the best you can with the time you have left over. Owning a business requires even more time, and more risk, but has a much higher potential up-side.

Mr_twoface · Accepted Answer

It's important to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how his statement made you feel. Express your concerns and listen to his perspective as well. Understanding each other's priorities and finding a balance that works for both of you is crucial in any relationship. Thereafter consider the context in which your boyfriend made this statement. Is he facing a particularly stressful period at work? Sometimes, work demands can temporarily take precedence, but it's important to assess whether this is a consistent pattern or a temporary situation.

Ultimately, every relationship is unique, and what works for you may not work for another couple. Just communicate and find a compromise.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Navigating the seas of love and business, aren't we? Let's dive in! When your beau mentions he's prioritizing work over your relationship, it's not necessarily the Titanic hitting an iceberg. It's sweet that you're all in, ready to put him first, but remember, at 19, building a future nest egg is pretty impressive and shows maturity. It's quite normal for individuals, guys and gals alike, to focus on career or business, especially when they're ambitious and dream of a stable future 'for us', as he put it. The real MVP move here is communication. Talk it out, express how it makes you feel without making him feel guilty for being ambitious. Finding that romantic rhythm between love and labor can turn into a beautiful dance. Adjust your steps, keep the conversation flowing, and who knows? You might end up both leading in this dance of love and ambition. 😉

Finchie40 · Answer

He was dumb to say that to you , it’s not bad that he is prioritizing work for you and his future together , but work should never be a priority over your partner period , So don’t take his words to seriously , he is young and he will eventually realize you are more important to him then work is.

SeriouslyNotSerious · Answer

I strongly believe that men should "chase money first, before women." Especially if they are not financially ready. He's still quite young, and has a lot going on for him.

If he can't achieve his goals and just spend time for "love", he will eventually resent her the future for distracting him. That is his dream, his business, his plans. You are there to trust him with the process and to be his cheerleader. 😀

exitseven · Answer

It depends on how much it matters to you. Maybe someday he will be very successful and you will live in a big house and have lots of money. He won't be around much and you may not have much of a relationship but if that sounds good to you then I guess it will work out

JacobJordan · Answer

You are not understanding what he means. Does he prioritize work yes. Does he prioritize you also yes. The order of them is less important. Guys are rational so logically he will focus on what brings future goals to fruition that doesn't mean you are not a priority. I prioritized work for a long time so my wife didn't have to work. Then I retired from working daily. She was always a priority what i was doing was for her and for us. Same situation for you it sounds like.

DrPepper12 · Answer

He sounds like a type A personality as well as a good prospect as far as financial security. You are very young and I'm assuming this relationship is similarly young. And discuss what time frame he is considering prioritizing work and given your age, I have to ask if you are pursuing college? This could be a good thing if you both pursue upward financial stability.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Nope, i was the guy who always thought about my love will always come 1st but now i prioritize my shoe over many women, you know why? It's because my shoe won't leave me no matter what i do and no matter how much i step on it while a woman will leave me at any moment just like that!

Anonymous · Answer

I swear men cat win.. We are expected to be providers and protectors yet when we provide and protect it's somehow bad when we prioritize work so that it offers the greatest chance of success.

Yes it's okay especially at his age, he should be prioritizing work over relationships. If you don't like that, move on so he can find someone who is actually worthy of that, and stop wasting his time.

Redstang88 · Answer

If he’s got his own business at 19, then yes that’s normal and yes it’s the right move. Sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the long run, he’s setting up himself (and you if you’re loyal and supportive) for better things down the road

FreyaRed · Answer

He wanted to provoke some reaction. Even if it might be true, telling something like that to your partner isn't a smart move.

82lynx · Answer

No one on their death bed is going to say “I wish I had worked more”. If he’s going to put work first indefinitely, I say it’s best to drop him. It breaks up marriages in the long run.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Well just date me then, I have no job so no need to worry about that lol.

SotiCoto · Answer

Failure to regard work as merely a means of living is probably a sign of mental illness. Nobody is actually supposed to like their job.

CriticalCatDad · Answer

Bad when a man says it. Not when a woman does apparently

Rafrenc · Answer

Yeah have someone mentor him before continuing if you plan to marry him don’t let this continue

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Women tend to be huge drag chutes for men. He knows he needs to build his business and you will s-l-ow him down.

war_daddy · Answer

it's normal. he can always find another girlfriend. he can't easily find another job

Anonymous · Answer

I assume he was the one that asked you out and pursued you

laly520 · Answer

u need to talk to him about it

DreamLife7 · Answer

He doesn't like u stop asking silly qs

Anonymous · Answer

Do you want a bum?

fordtruck · Answer

I don’t know

My boyfriend said he prioritizes work more than me. Is that bad?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it wrong of me to feel that my boyfriend prioritises work over me?

My boyfriend said he prioritizes work more than me. Is that bad?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

Is it wrong of me to feel that my boyfriend prioritises work over me?

We're glad to see you liked this post.