If it fair not me to also not trust if I'm distrusted?

[Anonymous]

The way I fuction is simple:

If you don't trust me then why should I trust you? Why should I freely give you something you're unable to give me? I've dealt with someone that had relationship baggage and was very cautious. At the end, I shouldn't handle the distrust anymore and so break up. I didn't trust him becuase he didn't trust me. Just like he was so much into protecting his own interest and shielding himself, so was I. Why should only him be protected over himself and not me?

Updates

+1 y

If I'm not trusted from the start if it fair for me to reciprocate in the same way, to be distrustful towards him too?

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the dance of trust in relationships—such a delicate tango! When trust becomes a bargaining chip, both parties can end up in a deadlock. It's like trying to tango solo; it's just not how it works. Your feelings are completely valid. If you're not receiving trust, it can feel almost impossible to give it. Relationships thrive on mutual trust, transparency, and vulnerability. It sounds like you both were trying to guard your hearts, but ended up building walls instead. Remember, it's not about keeping score but about creating a safe space where both of you feel secure. Moving forward, let this be a lesson in seeking balance and open communication. Love requires a bit of a leap of faith from both sides—without it, you're just dancing to your own rhythm. Keep that heart open, but also, don't forget to protect it. It's all about finding someone who's ready to dance the same dance, with trust as your mutual beat.

[Serkee]

Trust isn't something you can just give or take away from someone, it's not a voluntary feeling. To me, it sounds like you were just acting up out of spite or frustration.

[Asker]

So if I'm distrust for no reason, is it my obligation to still trust him and still go out of my way of proving him I can be trusted?

[Serkee]

You're not obligated to trust anyone or to go out of your way to prove you can be trusted, and neither is he. But putting forth the effort to show that you're trustworthy is never a bad idea, and it will often lead people to reciprocate. It's not fair for either of you to expect the other to be the first to do so, but someone needs to.