My girlfriend is mean to me and told me to grow up. Isn't it wrong?

[civic]

She is very sarcastic and mean to me. I told her the things she told me were hurtful and offensive she told me she was only joking and I was not mature enough to understand. Now, I cannot tell her that even that was hurtful. Isn't she rude?

[diamond]

Yeah, that doesn't sound right at all. Here are a few thoughts on this:

Respect and Communication: In any healthy relationship, mutual respect and good communication are key. If you’ve told her that her comments are hurtful and she dismisses them or calls you immature, that's a big problem.

Sarcasm and Jokes: Sarcasm and joking can be fine in a relationship, but only if both people are comfortable with it and it doesn't cross boundaries. If her jokes are consistently hurtful and she doesn't stop when you ask, it's a sign that she’s not respecting your boundaries.

Emotional Impact: Constantly being subjected to mean comments or sarcasm can have a negative impact on your self-esteem and mental health.

Addressing the Issue: It’s important to have another conversation about how you feel. You might say something like, "I know you say you're joking, but your comments are really hurting me. It's important to me that we communicate respectfully."

Consider Your Well-being: If she continues to dismiss your feelings or be mean after you've communicated how you feel, it might be worth reevaluating the relationship.

[Wildkayberries]

You can’t let a woman you’re in a relationship with speak to you that way. She doesn’t respect you as a man and she’s testing you. She’s wondering if you’re going to be a good leader she can follow or if she’s going to lead you. Many females do this to an extent and will also do other annoying things like try to make you jealous by flirting in front of you, etc. Most women just want a man who will lead by standing up for themselves and keeping her in line. When a woman is acting excessively bitchy like that when you haven’t really done much of anything to her, you can’t let it go. The easiest way to deal with it would be just tell her you won’t allow her to speak to you that way and you’re going to spank her if she keeps doing it. But these days that can get you in trouble so if she’s not into that then don’t go there. In that case tell her she’s going to have to cut it out or you’re leaving the relationship for a week. Whatever you say you’re going to do just make absolutely sure you follow through. That should get the bitching to stop and you’ll earn your place as a respected leader in her eyes. If that doesn’t work and the bitching gets worse then she probably has some type of personality disorder like Narcissistic or more likely Borderline personality disorder. So do some research on that and just head for the hills if that’s the case.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a narcissistic emotional abuser. You deserve a partner who loves you more than anyone else and treats you with respect. She needs to realize that SHE’S the immature one here! No regard for her partner’s feelings or no true self awareness.. just whatever sick sense of joy she gets from her ugly “jokes”. Get away from her while you can. Leaving her will take a lot of weight off of your shoulders. Calmly talking to people like this about their behavior usually gets nowhere … their sick behavior will resurface again in the near future. They won’t understand.. Sorry you had to go through this ;( The sooner you get away.. the better

[Miristheiss]

We teach others how to treat us. You are the one who accepts and stays around when she gets mean or disrespectful.

People that get up, stating "I won't be with anyone who talks to me like that" walks out the door and who never interacts with them again, they aren't treated badly.

You've either, one cut that cancer out of your life or two, if they come back, they are apologetic and say they were wrong and won't do it again they can be given another chance. If they do it a second time after that, leave them and never look back again. No 3rd chance.

People that just take it and who don't set "respect" boundaries, it will just get worse and worse as their respect gets lower and lower and they know you'll stay no matter what they do.

[Anonymous]

It was just a joke. You're immature. No - you're being rude and dismissive.

Emotional shaming language is like water for some women. See it for what it is. You don't have to accept her view of who you are nor believe she's being literal and accurate.

Sarcasm can be used to hide insecurity, and emotional manipulation a weapon.

If you want a future with this one you're going to have to establish a way to deal with this. She's trampling on your emotional boundaries. You're going to have to assert yourself and let her know assertively. Take a deep breath, be bold. Doesn't have to be rude but it's not ok.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waves of love and understanding can be as thrilling as it is challenging. Your experience sounds like you're being hit by a bit of rough sea. Relationships should be about lifting each other up, not tearing down. Sarcastic or not, communication that hurts is a red flag waving in the wind, my friend. It's great you expressed your feelings; that's a mature move right there. If the jokes consistently sting and your expressed feelings are dismissed, it's time for a heart-to-heart about respect and empathy. Sharing is caring, but when the sharing turns into scaring, it's a sign to reassess the relationship dynamics. Remember, love should feel like a warm hug, not a cold shrug. Keep those lines of communication open and honest, and if things don't change, you might need to consider whether this relationship is truly enriching your life.

[Finchie40]

If it doesn’t stop , dump her ass

[Peter_Penetrator]

She is narcissistic. Run. Don’t look back. For God’s sake don’t marry her. The longer you stay with her, the more of your life you will never get back. I was married to a narcissist and her narcissistic family for 18 years.

[DishLady]

Sarcastic CAN be rude, but if you're both on the same page it's just part of your shared sense of humor. It sounds like you're not a good match for her because you don't share the same sense of humor or expression/communication.

[bobalife]

She’s manipulative… no one deserve to feel disrespected and walk on egg shells… she’s not it… she’s only going to continue to hurt you the longer you stay…

[Anonymous]

My advice is that she has feelings for a guy (probably an ex) she didn’t tell you about.

and she takes all her negative energy on you.

probably because you’re not him or like him.

I don’t mean to be rude or put you down but from my personal experience this is more likely.

she wants to be in control because she lost it in her previous relationship.

[Caroline91]

It’s more than rude. Her behavior is passive aggressive and manipulative. She may be your girl but she is not your friend.

[Reem12345reem]

the probelm is either that ur took it too personally and she hurts your ego , or she's really abusive , u have to consider both sides

[ManInChains]

Show her that you don’t need her and break up with her

[Jkgordon]

You need to get a new girlfriend. Seriously and man up or see a psychiatrist. This isn’t normal

[DrPepper12]

Rude. Defensive. Immature. What's her history with family and relationships? I think you'll find the answer there.

[he-takes-a-part]

Obviously it's wrong. You be the same and make sure she notices and then notice her reaction increases the intensity until you get tangible results. There you will be with the desired outcomes.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are both at different places in your life. Be prepared she might be getting ready to leave.

[handsomelad70]

Are you immature? (We lads often are, sometimes even with our lady.) Then perhaps you SHOULD grow up to keep her as your girlfriend, lad.

[Anonymous]

show her how immature you are by spiking her shampoo with dye!

[Ms_Facesitter]

Pretty wrong. Prove her wrong.

[DaBiggestBird]

A troubled girl indeed.

[thisAppIsGarbage]

It's inly wrong if you don't accept it.

[Anonymous]

L ol how old are u both

[Serkee]

Of course you replied anonymously with that.