When people cheat, is it because they're unhappy?

[Anonymous]

Do people cheat only when they’re unhappy or does it matter? Specifically in marriage it seems common but they still chose to stay.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Cheating could be because of some unequal gibs in the relationship... but it could be for a bunch of reasons. Pure sexual greed for instance. Attention whores that are just bored make horrible partners.

Let me share my own personal reasons I've cheated. First girl, it was sexual greed. I had all this pussy around me and I had that fear of missing out. With both girls the cheating was in the body count of 100's... and I have yet to really get caught, I just stopped because it's just too much work and I've lost interest.

With that said the 2nd girl I cheated on was in the safe zone... I was fully committed. Had a kid with her, and it was adult time for me. Problem was... She constantly threatened the relationship with "cheating situations" and "I almost cheated situations" along with situations where I pretty much know she cheated, but I couldn't prove it. So I started cheating again with the mentality of justifying what she was doing. I was sort of stuck in the relationship, because I refused to work (because of her cheating) and the kid.

See, I know how divorce court works. I watched my Mom strip 3 different dads of money (2 sisters and me), and I'm not stupid. So I wasn't about to work, and I was going to be the primary childcare provider... you're a woman, so you know what I'm doing. It was basically a utilitarian relationship where the sex was there (tubes tied, so more babies was not an issue), but as far as her attention whoring and my not working... conflict.

She finally slipped up and cheated outright where it was clear to see. It was a harsh situation where I couldn't walk anywhere without people pointing and talking about it. Also, I had grown fat along with her as she gained weight. This unleashed the beast. As a stay-at-home Dad stuck at home (Japan at the time), I had to fight back from home. I bought weights and workout equipment. It was the same mentality, I was going to cheat back since I have to stay (I'll explain the long story behind that if anyone asks) as a way to sort of make it equal. But I'm stuck at home with 2 kids at that point, how am I going to go sniff out pussy?

First, I stopped being fat.

Second, I didn't have to go anywhere... I had the internet. I would post my cock picture if this site would allow it, but I had more than one reason that any sex-starved woman would want to come over and get fucked. These chicks would take me and the kids out on shopping sprees. They're desperate for dick, and each have their own reasons for that, that I won't go into here. The point is, I have access to endless pussy again and I have a reason to cheat, she cheated.

Now remember, no-fault divorce has removed 'cheating' as grounds to shift anything from who gets punished with alimony (or lack thereof) or child support. All that matters is who takes care of the kids, and who makes the most money. She cheated on me, and hurt me. Now I'm going to make it hurt back. I proceeded to openly fuck every mid to hawt woman in Japan that had any reason to get some free dick. Yes, gold diggers are not interested in me, relationship seekers are not interested (basically the same thing in my opinion), and that didn't hurt me at fucking all. Plenty of women in demanding careers/job, or higher learning, that simply don't have time for a boyfriend. Plenty of barely legal girls that just want to get with me. Plenty of women cheating on a man of their own for their own various reasons. Gold diggers and relationship seekers can fuck off, I have TONS of fucking options. So I proceeded to fuck, fuck, and then fuck some more.

The best part is I rubbed it in my woman's face. I'd video-record it and send it to her on Facebook. It was great. Nothing is sweeter than sweet, sweet revenge. So where did this lead?

She stopped cheating at all (hit the wall) and I calmed down because... it's too much work. Kids have 2 parents. I still don't fucking work and never will and she will pay so much money if she tries to split with me. I can fuck random pussy anytime I want. I have 4 rooms in the current house for me, and she has a 2 bedroom, kitchen/living/bath upstairs. I'm going to play DiabloIV all day on my 3rd PS5, in my own room with 2 televisions. My front door leads to my gym with equipment better than most of you can pay for monthly and some gym place.

Life is pretty good. Know the laws more than you know your feels. Get what you want out of life.

[blueonblack22]

Could be a lot of reasons. Unhappy, sex addicted, angry at their partner, temptation, weird unrelated trauma, etc

For whatever reason it may be there is a fine line between understandable vs acceptable. Cheating may be understandable in certain scenarios but never acceptable. Huge difference.

The bigger issue I have with cheaters is not necessarily the behavior in itself but their attitude about it. How they try to blame their partners, protect their ego and do mental gymnastics to self justify their bullshit. That is what I can’t stand. In many case their attitude about what they did is worse then the incident (s) itself.

[Anonymous]

I’m going through this right now. I haven’t cheated but I’m having dreams about a coworker that’s been hitting on me for quite a while. I ignore and dismiss him but the sexual attraction is definitely there. I have a large sexual appetite so when my fiancé and I get done with sex there’s a 50/50 chance I can crash out and sleep or want to go again. He usually always satisfy me but it’s like I want him plus my co worker.

Before him and I got together I did mention I had a period in my life where I did what I wanted (& who I wanted lol). But I also explained why my sexual appetite was the way it was. You see I liked being in control of a man sexually. I was never sexually satisfied by a man BEFORE my fiancé, So the more bad sex I got the more it became a sport for fun. It was the bodily reactions I loved about sexing a man where it was with my mouth or vagina.

All im saying is people don’t always cheat to be with the next person it’s simply a feeling of curiosity.

Cheating is not right nor is it good to emotionally cheat period! Ps I don’t plan to cheat I’ll keep masturbating lol

[ApplePie409]

I posted a question on this site about Ashley Madison. It's a site for married cheaters. There's a 3-part documentary about it on Netflix.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/vxKwUULYmJ4

In answer to your question, no, they're not really unhappy at all. If you have Netflix, it's worth watching. A hacker group hacked the site and gave Ashley Madison an ultimatum. Either close down the site within one month, or they would release to the world the names and information on its 40 million members. Ashley was making so much money, that they refused to shut down the site. So the hackers made good on their promise and released the names of the members. There were a lot of destroyed marriages, and even many suicides over the release of the names of the members.

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the tangled web of why people choose the thrill of an affair over the cozy comfort of their own love nest, aren't we? Cheating is that spicy yet bitter ingredient in the relationship cocktail that nobody orders but sometimes ends up on the table anyway. It's not just about being unhappy. Oh no, it's more complex than a gourmet recipe. People cheat for a smorgasbord of reasons — thrill of the chase, feeling undervalued at home, or maybe they're battling their own set of demons with a side of self-sabotage. And why do they stay, you ask? Oh, the human heart is as mysterious as the dark side of the moon! Sometimes it's for the kids, sometimes for the comfort of the known, and sometimes, just sometimes, because they honestly believe they can rekindle that lost spark. Cheating is a giant flashing "road work ahead" sign, signaling something needs fixing on the journey of love. Always remember, it's never as simple as it seems, and navigating these choppy waters takes more than just a good compass—it takes courage, communication, and sometimes, a little professional navigation. 😉

[AviatorTom]

I've never cheated but I've known both men and women who have. Most of the time, they cheated because of opportunity, not because of anything in their relationship. Of course, some were unhappy in their relationship, and sought out someone to cheat with, but that was a minority... at least for the people I knew.

[jennifer_bloom]

I think the biggest reason people cheat is that they do not register responsibility with curiosity or interest. Some live in a delusional fantasy world where emotions and obligations do not factor into the equation and the only thing that they calculate is sensation and stimulation.

[OlderAndWiser]

People cheat because the opportunity presents itself, the idea sounds exciting, and they have no regard for how their behavior will hurt their spouse. This is a defect of character.

[CaptainOverthink]

I rightly don't know.
But my guess is that it's more about being undiciplined and deciding not to resist stooping to lower levels of relationship-morality. Weakness.
Accessability (deciding that it's okay if you can get away with it, in other words, breach of morality and responsability).

And for those who are so unhappy in their relationships.. it's not okay to breach the code to cheat on them, even if they did it to you. Because then their cheating on you leads to you cheating on yourself and breaking your own moral codes, you stoop to their level and become deserving of eachother.

[perpetualsadnessss]

I think people cheat for a number of reasons including:

1. They are not happy in the relationship and cannot tell you and would rather cheat so it’s a way out of the relationship

2. They never cared for you in the first place and didn’t think the relationship was serious

3. They are addicted to the thrill of cheating and possibly being found out

4. They didn’t see it as cheating - example if in their head for example, calling hotline numbers is not cheating because they don’t know the person, will never meet them and cannot see them - everyone has their idea of what things are classed as cheating

5. Their needs are not being met so they go and find it somewhere else but still want to be with you.

The main thing to remember is if they cheat it was not you. Unless of course you did something like cheating on them first or physically abuse them etc

[imtiaz45]

Cheating is often a complex behavior influenced by various factors. While unhappiness or dissatisfaction in a relationship can be a significant reason, it's not the only cause. Some individuals cheat due to a desire for novelty, emotional or physical needs not being met, lack of commitment, opportunity, or even personal traits like impulsivity. In some cases, underlying issues such as low self-esteem or a need for validation can also contribute. Therefore, while unhappiness can be a factor, it is not the sole reason for cheating. Each situation is unique and often involves a combination of factors.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/qLrvt8QfyJ4

[PeachyPie93]

They can be completely happy where they are but something isn't fulfilled. That is why I hate when women are like "Well he wouldn't cheat with me if he was happy!" It's like shut the fuck up because he will cheat on you too, you dumb bitch. Cheating has more to do with the person themselves than the person they are with.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion, they are sub-human… they lack personal and moral development. Nobody NEEDS somebody that bad to go behind their partner's back to have their so-called “needs met.”

I mean doesn’t it just SOUND ridiculous? No sane human being does that or needs someone else that bad. Simply put, it’s pathetic.

It’s why everyone should be 100% self sustainable and happy alone, before ever being with somebody else. A relationship / partner becomes more of a welcome addition to life than it is something that affirms your own sense of self-worth or fulfills something you feel you lack, and then you feel the need to extract and literally suck the energy out of other people to feel validated.

See what I mean?

[sage2021]

And when they get caught I could never figure out why they say "I don't know how it happened, it just happened".

Yeah, the guy didn't know how his penis penetrated the chick he chose to cheat on you with. "I don't know how it got there" 🙄

[TheSpaceGnome]

People cheat because they're stupid and impatient.

Wait to have sex until you know they are the one you want to end up with.
If for whatever reason they manage to successfully lie and you fall for it, resulting in y you realizing you were mistaken about them being "the one", then break up with them before even looking at someone else.

Its not that hard to do.

[Anonymous]

Many reasons people cheat. It can be unhappiness. Some people are perfectly happy but lust gets the better of them. Then some darker people enjoy cheating.

Look…. If you’re unhappy. Break up. Don’t be a coward about it. Face it or fade consequences

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Generally, a woman cheats when she's unhappy or not getting what she wants. Men will too, but they're exponentially more likely to cheat because they're horny and find someone visually attractive

[Anonymous]

People cheat because they are unsatisfied. In general men and women are dissatisfied for different reasons. For men it is often sexual dissatisfaction, and for women it is more likely emotional dissatisfaction. Men are vilified for sex being so important, but what women don't seem to understand is that sexual satisfaction is important in a man's emotional health. So in reality both cheat for emotional reasons.

[WhitneySnow]

Girls will usually only cheat when they’re unhappy. Guys can be happy and still cheat.

[Chazmatazz269]

People cheat because they’re selfish and inconsiderate. That’s literally the only reason. Anything else is just an excuse.

[IslaTheWitch]

sometimes, they are unhappy. Sometimes, they want to check if somewhere else would be better or different. Sometimes, they are sure they can stop before something happens :D

[worldscolide]

No. It's because they are narcissistic monsters incapable of loving anyone but them selves. They cheat because they never loved the person they were with in the first place. They exist without empathy, without a soul.

[madewithingredients]

There's videos of every lecture from a "Human Behavioral Biology" class from Stanford University on YouTube you can watch for free.

[rienna888]

Yes, they're feeling unsatisfied, with life, their partners (believe their partners aren't the one), they believe they deserve more, feeling used, feeling insecure, the list goes on and on

[RingOfFire]

I think men cheat because they are horny and bored with the sex and women cheat because they don't feel they are getting enough attention and communication.

[Blueeyes81]

Sometimes opportunities play a factor. Temptation of any kind can be hard to ignore. Not saying it's right but it's been my observation with friends who have cheated.

[jshm2]

No. Some people just cannot resist temptation.

[Anonymous]

I never cheated, but whenever I was into someone else during a relationship it was because I was no longer satisfied with my girlfriend at that time.

[dustybiker2]

They cheat because they give themselevs permission to.

[Anonymous]

Girl. People cheat for a MULTITUDE, PLETHORA of different reasons.

And whatever the reason, don’t matter they’re uncultured, bad mannered people of low quality.

[DrPepper12]

No no no!! Novelty, furtive, out smart spouse, but mostly novelty. Never had anything to do with current so

[SotiCoto]

They cheat because they're stupid and don't understand that it isn't in their own best interests.

[Account]

Not necessarily. More often than not, it is because the opportunity was presented to them.

[dfdfdffffdfdf]

it is because they are selfish

if someone cheat on u , u dump em , looking for a reason why they did it , make u look like trying to be tolerate with it

[Miristheiss]

They are selfish and they are predisposed to cheat. It is a flaw in their character.

[JHAYES317]

Not always unhappy per say…it could just be boredom in many cases, the ole grass is greener mentality

[Chazmatazz269]

‘per se’, not “per say”
Also, ol’ would be more appropriate than “ole” in that context.
Just sayin’.

[MrDaveAPSI]

It's to see what they can get away with

Trump cheated on this 3 wives (including Melania), because he always likes to see what he can get away with

[ProbablyClueless]

They cheat because they are deeply unhappy within themselves.

[Anonymous]

No one cheats if they are happy and satisfied in their relationship, and they feel grateful for and valued by their partner.

[Jkgordon]

Well kind of and curious you can be happy but someone may catch your eye

[Peridot25]

I think they do it to be assholes and want to hurt you.

[Vegasrunner]

Women cheat when they don't respect their men. Men cheat when they have options.

[OddBeMe]

Perhaps…but not with their partner. They have the grass is green syndrome, or some need to live a double life. They get off on it.

[austinbooth]

They’re either unhappy or just turned on by the other person for my opinion.

[Juxtapose]

It's less to do with happiness and more to do with a lack of integrity.

[handsomelad70]

Sometimes, but often they tire of their partner and desire a new relationship.

[Alishamoi]

well cheating is totaly wrong for me but most of them are doing that shit because of no more love and due to sexual inadequacy.

[RossyBoi]

Yes, they must be unhappy otherwise they would never have cheated in the first place.

[RebeccaSJ]

Not always. Sometimes it's just momentary temptation.

[Kingofkings1992]

Not necessarily. There’s a multitude of reasons people cheat.

[rosemilk]

yes it's a pretty common reason why

[exitseven]

I imagine that some do.

[laly520]

cuz they r bad people

[Vegasrunner]

@laly520 I agree if a man doesn't provide, and a woman isn't sexually faithful they're bad people.

[mayurr]

Cheating is a choice not a mistake.

[LiamJHayden]

Cheaters cheat because they lack integrity.

[DreamLife7]

Why does it matter? Just move on

[Asker]

I can’t be curious? Tf 😂 get outta here with your negativity

[DreamLife7]

Your entire post is rooted in negativity and nosey. He doesn't like u

[jahaims]

It's to cope with not liking themselves

[Pudsmucker]

The excitement, being neglected from sex.

[he-takes-a-part]

Unsatisfied. Are want more satisfaction.

[Cheerguy]

Too many reasons

[whistlingwh0res]

they chase the heat of the moment?