My boyfriend (soon to be husband) said he loves his mom more than me. Should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

[liggang]

Seriously? I feel like this is a ridiculous question. I feel like it's natural that most people would love their mother above all others. There's something special about your mother. She gave birth to you.

Like who the hell are you? You're nearly a random person who for all we know, cheats on him behind his back or has bad secrets or whatever.

There are things you can do that would end your relationship, that a person's mother could do, and they would always forgive her.

Like that's your family. A woman who bears your child could be gone just as soon as she came. For most people you're never going to abandon your mother almost no matter what. And for those people who do abandon their mother, I feel bad for them because she truly did bad things that damaged that person.

The girls replies are ridiculous too. I think women have too much anxiety. You're literally creating a problem out of nothing and the girls are all likely to just reinforce it because y'all all think alike. You all have that enhanced anxiety that makes you think up crazy conclusions.

[Asker]

Who the hell are you to ask who i am? Do you anything about our relationship to judge us? We have been together since high school and for all i know he said his mom comes first for name’s sake because we spend most of our days together and we both visit his parents like once or twice and you know what his mom show love more towards me than him. we two are also planning to move abroad after our marriage. stop bluffing like an idiot

[Asker]

Who the hell are you to ask who i am? Do you anything about our relationship to judge us? We have been together since high school and for all i know he said his mom comes first for name’s sake because we spend most of our days together and we both visit his parents like once or twice and you know what his mom shows more love towards me than him. we two are also planning to move abroad after our marriage. stop bluffing like an idiot

[HaleyWalker]

Man this chick is crazy, she freaks out on you for giving your opinion on a question she asked and forgot that she asked question. 🤣 I feel bad for her soon to be husband you definitely overthinking the fact that he loves his mother more than you which I think it's actually reasonable because she was there longer before you. You are definitely the self-destructive type. I hope you enjoy the divorce papers because you will see them you are psychotic. 😂

[Asker]

@HaleyWalker i asked a geniune question which was in my thoughts. I never barged in your dms begging for an answer and also wishing divorce to a soon to be married girl is such a sick mentality. feeling so sad for your man but maybe you dont have one and that maybe the reason for the envy

[swifterzz]

What a ridiculous take this is. His mom could be talking all kinds of crap about him and everything. You know nothing about them. You sound like you suffer from emotional incest.

[AviatorTom]

Love is hard to quantify. He may just be saying that because he's known his Mom longer than he's known you.

If that's the only thing about him that concerns you, you should not be worried. Just remember though, when you marry someone, you marry not just them, you marry their family too. His Mom will be part of your life. If you have a problem with that, then you should be worried.

[Anonymous]

A man should love his mother more. His mother known him his whole life, you've only know him for a small tiny fraction of his life. His mom suffered through so much in pregnancy and birth to give him life. Then spent 20 plus years sacrificing herself to raise him to make sure he grows up well. You have done absolutely nothing for him. You knew him for a few years, made him laugh, gave him a few good memories then now you demand that you're more important than his mother who suffered / sacrificed so much to GIVE HIM LIFE?

Re-read this and tell me if now you realize how entitled you are

A man who loves his wife more than his mother is a selfish man. A man who loves his mother more is a good man

[Vesuvius87]

If he's your boyfriend then he's not your soon to be husband. He would have to be a fiance. You guys would have to be engaged. Otherwise you'll still just in the dating stage.

If he really wants to actually marry you then you need to be place as top priority, go above everyone else, even his mother.

[Asker]

We are engaged and marriage is on August. The thing is he acts like he loves me the most like whenever he gets some free time he runs to me so that we can spend time together but whenever i ask him if he loves me or his mother the most he says both or sometimes his mom

[Vesuvius87]

Thank you for clearing it and I'm sorry to hear you feel left out whenever he says he loves his mother more than you. Both of you should an important place in his life, just as valuable. His mother shouldn't take the whole credit. If his mother is much important to him then you, well then he should marry his mother. He's marrying you, not his mother.

[Vesuvius87]

I hope his mother doesn't end up meddling too much in your marriage. You wouldn't want to tolerate one of those chatty, gossiping, mean, monster-in-law type.

[Jrg98]

I was thinking monster in law to a T

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of wisdom on your love puzzle! 💖 Let's not hit the panic button just yet. The bond between a mother and her child is unique, steeped in years of nurturing and love. It's like comparing apples to spaceships—totally different realms of affection! The key here lies in how he balances these relationships. If he's making you feel like a priority, showing you love and respect, and integrating you into his life in a meaningful way, then you're on the right track. Love isn't about competition; it's about complementing each other's lives. However, if this dynamic makes you feel less valued or sidelined, it's time for a heart-to-heart. Communication is your golden ticket here. Remember, it's all about creating a harmonious blend of the love in his life, not a ranking system. Keep the love flowing and the conversation going! 💑

[Nirmroth]

First solid advice I saw from the AI

[Finchie40]

Does he say he loves him Mom more than he loves you? If so? You are best to reconsider that relationship with him or you will end up with a Momma’s boy , that will run to his Mom when things don’t go his way with you. It’s ok for a son to love his Mother, but he shouldn’t be comparing his love to his Mom to you , he should be saying he loves you both but you are his priority. If he isn’t saying those words to you? than you are best to not marry this guy whatsoever.

[hahahmm]

Our ancestors for eons knew -- contrary to many answering here - that it is natural for a man to love his wife more. This is how he creates a new family. If your boyfriend loves his mom more & she is unfair to you then he will side with her which is harmful to your marriage bond. Our ancestors were experts in long lasting marriages. Today's average person is an expert in failed relationships. You decide which one you want to be.

[MisterWack]

His mom took care of him and brought him into this world, I think he can love her how much he wants to. He isn’t going to marry her or cheat on you with her, that is ridiculous. Please sit alone in the corner and then sleep for 7 hours, when you wake up… I hope you’ll know the perspective your soon to be husband has. Show some respect please.

[77five]

He should love his mom more than you because he should have different kinds of love for you and her. But any guy who makes a point to say that is trouble in my opinion. And there's no reason to be getting married so soon. You have your wholes to marry eachother.

[77five]

Edit: shouldn't! I meant shouldn't*

[mobiusforniner]

Don’t be worried….. RUN. Prioritizing ones parents will eventually drain your relationship (or marriage). Dealing with in laws is a major sore spot for relationships. Whenever you have conflict, he will side with his mom’s opinions and it will wedge you apart because you’re not working together. For him to flat out tell you he loves his mom more than you shows where you stand in this dynamic.

[BoobMan]

It's a dumb think to think but all KINDS of retarded to say it out loud. So I guess it depends on how you feel about being married to the World's Biggest Moron. If you're up for that, you're pointed in the right direction. If not, now would be a good time to cut bait.

[dustybiker2]

Depends how it was said. He was probably being dry. I doubt it was serious in literal context, just meaning she means a great deal to him. And if he shares something like that he's being open. That is a good thing.

[Levin]

Why would that even come up in a topic of conversation and why the comparison? Some kind of jealousy?

He should say he loves you both very dearly, and that should be enough. This is childish in my opinion.

[renodnol32]

I don't think so. Just implies he loves his mother and she's a very important person in his life. he's probably hinting that she'll love you too as her soon to be daughter-in-law. He definitely wants you and his mother to have a healthy loving relationship.

[TommyMountainFigure]

It's not the greatest thing a guy can say to his future wife!

I'm extremely interested in knowing what you said to him after he told you that!

[Anonymous]

I think it’s normal to love your parents. As long as there is enough balance. I really don’t mind if they are close and family oriented. His parents are fun people too.

But honestly, from time to time, i feel like I not only married my husband, but also his parents. They’re always around. So annyoning!

[IslaTheWitch]

tbh we love parents differently than our spouse or friends...

I would try to clarify it... but for me it would be something to rethink and think seriously if I made a good decision...

[BonzoInBitburg]

That's concerning. If that's true, she will get in the middle of your relationship because if you ever have a disagreement he will go straight to mama.

[JacobJordan]

Are you on drugs. Of course he loves his mom more than you. She raised him and cared and loved him she taught him what to look for in a woman. Holy hell modern women are stupid

[CrabCakes11]

No. That is reasonable. She cared for and raised him as a baby. You are a woman he has know for a short time compared to his literal mother

[SotiCoto]

Only if you have a completely unrelated reason for being worried that you haven't bothered mentioning. Nothing you have mentioned constitutes a valid reason for worry.

[DaBiggestBird]

Perhaps what he meant is it’s a different kind of love, which is certainly is. Da Biggest Bird can approve of that. I wouldn’t be worried about it.

[MicahRaine]

Naw it's not something to worry about. There are just different kinds of love. He doesn't actually love his mom more.

[LazerBean]

It's okay as long as you also love your dad more than him

[Booklover_90]

Is he a momma’s boy? If so, yes, I’d be concerned about that statement.

[MrDaveAPSI]

There's no love greater than a boy and his mother..

Unless you're the menendez brothers, of course

[MrZameer]

Nothing to worry in it.
Not at all.
All those who are saying that it's worrying signal, don't listen them at all

[bobby_bush_eater]

No, unless your his wife that is how it should be

[77five]

How would a paper change things? You guys put too much emphasis on a manmade concept

[bobby_bush_eater]

@77five it changes things because you have entered into an agreement into the eyes of the law, potentially your religion (obviously subjective), and society that you are committed to one person and they are committed to you.

Then that person should be your most important person until children. The idea we put too much emphasis on a "manmade" concept is not an coherent argument.

Marriage is thousands of years old, do you realize basically everything in your society and daily life you do is based on said "manmade" concepts. They are important whether you acknowledge them or not. You and many others seem to pick and choose which ones make sense or don't and it is illogical because it's not based on deductive logic but based on your opinion/feelings of the subject.

[77five]

You marriage clowns are so retarded, i can't even explain how…. like…. ugh

[bobby_bush_eater]

@77five exactly, you literally can't explain it so you just resorted to an ad hominem.

I'd be more than happy to actually talk about the merits of your side if you actually have specific points to bring up. I understand your perspective and there is an argument to be made for it but you didn't make any argument, just an insult instead.

[DishLady]

Worried? No. Married? Not to this guy...

[Theraingoddess]

Does he love his mom romantically? If not then maybe u shouldn't be concerned

[ThebestIndian]

Most stupidest question if a woman asks this. Everyone would have their priority

[Sister-Twister]

Sounds hot. I could write a poem for them.

[HelpfulWoman]

you may leave. his mother will always be there

[provokeesmokee]

Yes.

Let him marry his mother.

[Akam93]

No. He just loves his mom.

[Kelly6]

It's totally okay

[onedarkcloud]

Sounds like he loves mom more than you.

[nawtee_me]

Is he marrying his mom?

[mickeysmonkey]

If he spends more time with her then yes

[jahaims]

Kids>spouse>parents

[DreamLife7]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Luckycharms12]

No that's normal