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Relationships

How far should you plan ahead in a new LDR? (Page 4)

Finfin1981
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How far should you plan ahead in a new LDR?
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What Girls & Guys Said

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Show Popular Opinions(180)
  • Daniel707
    Daniel707 Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 23 , mho 51%
    1 mo

    Well there needs to be constant communication and a strong sense of trust and loyalty for it to ever work long term

    0
    0 Reply
  • 1WildBeatlejuice
    1WildBeatlejuice Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 57 , mho 53%
    1 mo

    Let s don’t work for me is like fairy tales to me I can’t get enjoyment from licking the pixels on my phone 😛😂

    0
    0 Reply
  • JuliaCartorez
    JuliaCartorez Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 28 , mho 69%
    7 mo

    that really depends on the situation, I would say plan a few months ahead to meet and have a plan incase things don't go as intended.

    0
    0 Reply
  • ShivaniPandey
    ShivaniPandey Follow
    Xper 4 Age: 22 , mho 39%
    1 y

    I think LDR does not succeed. They have to meet once per month minimum to stay in relationship.

    0
    0 Reply
  • LauraJ00
    LauraJ00 Follow
    Xper 4 Age: 30 , mho 54%
    1 y

    1 month for regular activities. 3-6 months for trips. Anything more will make the relationship too high maintenance to keep up with.

    0
    0 Reply
  • AyChingao
    AyChingao Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 43 , mho 40%
    1 y

    Took a year to get from Texas to Suffolk UK to be with my girl, finances and logistics kept getting in the way.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Verbano1
    Verbano1 Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 23 , mho 30%
    1 y

    It depends on what you're planning to do and on the distance; if you want to call him/her you don't have to plan ahead

    0
    0 Reply
  • LifeHitMeandRan
    LifeHitMeandRan Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 33 , mho 39%
    1 y

    You don't. These relationships fail most of the time so you shouldn't waste your time with them.

    0
    0 Reply
  • HellGeist
    HellGeist Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 35
    1 y

    You have to have serious plans to visit/meet in person, in my opinion. If you can't see yourself building a future with someone, then what is the point even if they live next door?

    0
    0 Reply
  • itsannalee
    itsannalee Follow
    Guru Age: 33 , mho 38%
    1 y
    508 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    I have LDR relationship across the continent. Mostly he lives far away from me about 2-3 months, then comes back for 1/2 months here.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Kabluie
    Kabluie Follow
    Guru Age: 43
    1 y

    Usually been 2 months or when the travel becomes convenient if it's me that visits first. I travel for my job for regularly so that made it easier where it doesn't cost me anything.

    0
    0 Reply
  • D_Bone_Steak
    D_Bone_Steak Follow
    Master Age: 43 , mho 44%
    1 y

    Military family so, 2 or 4 months is laughable. You don't have to plan... life goes on without them in the picture physically.

    0
    0 Reply
  • coolbreeze
    coolbreeze Follow
    Master Age: 42 , mho 58%
    1 y
    1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    It takes a lot of money and time and patience to make any long distant relationship to work. Also a lot of trust.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (25-29)
    1 y

    LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP is ridiculous and absurd. It’s a false relationship.

    I’ll never accept that as you being in a relationship. I’m gonna think you’re trolling or just flat out idiotic

    0
    0 Reply
  • lisafkit79
    lisafkit79 Follow
    Xper 1 Age: 22
    1 y

    LDR should not exist we don't in anything about the person we are talking to in real life they could lie or tell truth but how do we know it's like boating alone in deepoceans in high waves

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (25-29)
    1 y

    I know a lot of military guys who's wives and girlfriend's chested on them while they were deployed.

    I think it all depends on the people involved. I think cheaters will cheat eventually regardless of the situation.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Drumlin2001
    Drumlin2001 Follow
    Master Age: 44
    1 y
    2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    How long have you known them? If your just planning your first physical meeting I wouldn't put a deadline in it depending in circumstances. But don't plan anything beyond that until after it.

    0
    0 Reply
  • serious
    serious Follow
    Master Age: 38 , mho 39%
    1 y
    4.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    LDR's in my view are bad and are not long lasting. It is also too stressful for the people involved.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Phoenix98
    Phoenix98 Follow
    Master Age: 33
    1 y
    5.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    I would wait to plan anything until I actually had the time and money to go. Then I would just talk with my partner and we’d figure out a time that’d work best for both of us.

    0
    0 Reply
  • sage2021
    sage2021 Follow
    Master Age: 71 , mho 54%
    1 y
    1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    It depends on how much you miss each other and want to see them and get hugged by them.

    I couldn't wait longer than two months or maybe sooner.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Lisaasker
    Lisaasker Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 34 , mho 32%
    27 d

    Give it 3 to 6 months I would say as it takes time to travel.

    1
    0 Reply
  • jkreuger95
    jkreuger95 Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 34
    6 mo

    If you want it to last then as much what if this happens preparation the better. Most don't work out

    1
    0 Reply
  • MySunflowerSophia
    MySunflowerSophia Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 20
    1 y

    I would say roughly 4-5 months so that you know it's coming and you know how much time you have left with your partner.

    0
    0 Reply
  • KaiidiraX
    KaiidiraX Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 27 , mho 31%
    1 y

    Can much really be planned other than when you are going to communicate?

    1
    0 Reply
  • Snowbunnyalex
    Snowbunnyalex Follow
    Xper 1 Age: 31
    1 y

    Depends on both of your schedules. Communicate with them to figure out an appropriate timeframe.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Darklydarkened
    Darklydarkened Follow
    Xper 7 Age: 34
    1 y

    No such thing as Long Distance Relationships.

    They're emotionally invested letter partners at best.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Evsisa
    Evsisa Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 19
    1 y

    We planned one visit at the time and did 1-2 trips per month.

    1
    1 Reply
    • Finfin1981
      Finfin1981
      1 y

      Did it fail eventually?

      Reply
  • Raam1994
    Raam1994 Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 31
    11 mo

    LDR is completely different for each relationship and each person’s perspective. I have tried it and it went for nearly a year and she got married to some other guy

    1
    1 Reply
    • JHNS98
      JHNS98
      11 mo

      That's a general issue with the whole Relationships section on this website. People ask for blanket generally applicable advice to highly individual questions.

      Relationship advice can't really be generic. So much context is required, and therapy is the only way to go for that. It's just a shame that mental health care isn't universally accessible all over the developed world.

      Reply
  • SolitarySolace
    SolitarySolace Follow
    Yoda Age: 29
    1 y
    703 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    I wouldn't. LDR very very rarely ever work out. They always cheat. Always. That's been my experience. But that's been my experience with majority of women

    0
    0 Reply
  • Sweety_Torneeya
    Sweety_Torneeya Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 28
    1 y

    I think 1 year is enough to know a person if you are not a fool orherwise meeting an unknown person is a foul act which can be transformed into sadistic consequences.

    1
    0 Reply
  • standardguy
    standardguy Follow
    Yoda Age: 47
    1 y

    A ldr is something you can have besides to your normal life. It's okay to know somebody better in a slow way. But after 3 or 5 months you should visit the other person to check out if it is possible in real life to be with the other person.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Wayneg89
    Wayneg89 Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 36
    1 y

    I don't think there is a right answer. It'll vary relationship to relationship due to no two relationships being the same. There are tons of factors such as distance, work, etc that have to be accounted for.

    0
    0 Reply
  • dragoblack
    dragoblack Follow
    Guru Age: 34
    1 y
    705 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Best not to do LDRs, they never work out (especially if you have never met them in person) LDRs are just internet roleplay relationships, missing all of the physical aspects that all it a proper romance relationship.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Dou1994
    Dou1994 Follow
    Xper 4 Age: 32
    1 y

    As someone who just recently ended a long distance relationship after being together 1 year and 5 months (only seeing each other twice) not only trust and communication is key.. finances and mental toughness is key as well.

    0
    0 Reply
  • foxsquirrell
    foxsquirrell Follow
    Yoda Age: 41
    1 y

    I find this idea ridiculous. I mean how can you be in a relationship while you are living far apart? If you decide to be in a relationship to me it means that the two should live together.

    Not even going to try to answer your question.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Intelligent_Lady
    Intelligent_Lady Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 36 , mho 37%
    2 d

    First build consistency, then build plans.

    In LDRs, stability matters more than speed.

    0
    0 Reply
  • TurkishGuyy
    TurkishGuyy Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 23 , mho 50%
    1 mo

    I think it should be planned at least 3 months in advance.

    0
    0 Reply
  • bowenw
    bowenw Follow
    Master Age: 42
    1 mo
    1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    As much time as possible. It also depends on the circumstances, for example if vacation days must be booked at work.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Tyler_with_Questions
    Tyler_with_Questions Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 26 , mho 33%
    2 mo

    2-4 months is common. Shorter or longer as needed.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (30-35)
    3 mo

    @finfin1981 I'm very much someone who likes to be a forward-thinker. Yet if that show HIMYM taught me anything, it's not to be a guy like fictional Ted - the character is too into wanting to get married as if it's an urgency. Lol

    0
    0 Reply
  • Axel1969
    Axel1969 Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 49
    6 mo

    I planned 12 hours because I only decided tonight that I'm going to drive 7 hours to go and get a piece lol.

    0
    0 Reply
  • juleyboo74
    juleyboo74 Follow
    Xper 1 Age: 51 , mho 50%
    9 mo

    LDR's are hard, so planning ahead is crucial.

    0
    0 Reply
  • queenofcardio
    queenofcardio Follow
    Guru Age: 32 , mho 33%
    10 mo
    728 opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Not far in advance. I did it once and I wish I never did

    0
    0 Reply
  • On_cloud_wine
    On_cloud_wine Follow
    Guru Age: 15 , mho 44%
    11 mo

    You won’t find me in one unless I was dating someone in the military

    0
    0 Reply
  • KylieKitten
    KylieKitten Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 19 , mho 36%
    1 y

    Hmm never been in a long distance thing before 🤔

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anti_Trump
    Anti_Trump Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 22 , mho 46%
    1 y

    I always plan less than 1 meter. Just manage to fimd a method to rub one out.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Hellfireandcandy
    Hellfireandcandy Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 20 , mho 34%
    1 y

    I think you need to figure out how long you'll be apart then add 6 months and plan for that.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Lostgirl611
    Lostgirl611 Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 21 , mho 33%
    1 y

    Depends. I would as soon as I know I can do it

    0
    0 Reply
  • NoDecision
    NoDecision Follow
    Yoda Age: 27 , mho 56%
    1 y

    Why is this question 7 months old and still in the feed?

    0
    0 Reply
  • incorrected
    incorrected Follow
    Xper 6 Age: 37 , mho 51%
    1 y

    LDRs are a waste of time unless it's temporary and there's a fixed time limit on that.

    0
    0 Reply
  • electromagnetic
    electromagnetic Follow
    Master Age: 34 , mho 36%
    1 y
    1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    I love seeing this much opinions being shared.
    I don’t plan.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Cumbelly
    Cumbelly Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 31 , mho 36%
    1 y

    Try to establish an end point to the LDR if u can, to keep spirits up

    0
    0 Reply
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    (25-29)
    1 y

    If it’s LDR after being in person ok, if you met online na. I’ve done it 3 times, one girl I dated online for 2 years, felt like I met a complete stranger, and she did weird things in person, and looked different.

    0
    0 Reply
  • molonski2
    molonski2 Follow
    Master Age: 55 , mho 40%
    1 y
    1.1K opinions shared on Relationships topic.

    Don't put a time limit on it , just play it by ear and see how things go first..

    0
    0 Reply
  • Salamosiko
    Salamosiko Follow
    Xper 2 Age: 24 , mho 50%
    1 y

    I really wanna visit my boyfriend overseas, sadly i can't

    0
    0 Reply
  • Lady_Heart
    Lady_Heart Follow
    Xper 5 Age: 31
    1 y

    There many men n women in the world, don't punish yourself with ldr, very small % worked it out. The rest is waste of time

    0
    0 Reply
  • madewithingredients
    madewithingredients Follow
    Xper 4 Age: 36 , mho 46%
    1 y

    you should plan the wedding date if you want it to work out.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Zacksparrow
    Zacksparrow Follow
    Xper 3 Age: 35 , mho 30%
    1 y

    i did a long distance but didn't work me out i am sorry willow that was my girlfriend

    0
    0 Reply
  • Jindadi
    Jindadi Follow
    Xper 1 Age: 57 , mho 32%
    1 y

    I'm not the person to commit to long distance relationships.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Alwayreckles93
    Alwayreckles93 Follow
    Yoda Age: 33 , mho 39%
    1 y

    Some makentheirbgoal from the summer to Christmas.

    0
    0 Reply
  • Show More (476)
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