How far should you plan ahead in a new LDR? (Page 5)

[BoopBoopBeep]

I only plan til the next trip. Beyond that, too many variables.

[Jamknot9]

That will depend on both parties being able to plan and communicate. Probably at least 3 wks to a month.

[Tamera952]

It all depends I suppose. I would think at least a few months out?

[Petite_Cherry]

A few months I would say to get in the right mental

[andreasderjuengere]

I'd plan ahead in a 30 km radius.

(for the mathematically handicapped persons: this makes roughly 20 ''miles'')

[strateguy632]

me? for long Distance 1 hour, plan that i will break up because far can't work.

[rosemilk]

i would think it depends on how far they are or if they're overseas

[DizzyDesii]

Long distance or not, I’m a woman with a plan. I’m plotting monthly if not weekly

[Straight2thepoint]

This long distant relationships joke. Its like eating a pie from far away. Video, pictures and audio of the pie won't do you any good. You're not eating anything. You're just a fool.

[69Lonely69]

I think it really depends on the relationship. If it is an intense relationship you should meet ASAP. Though in my opinion those types of relationships never really work.

[QuestionObsession]

What plans, life plans or meeting plans? If life plans then go as slow as 6 months at a time. A lot can change in just 6 months and planning anything longer will only invite disappointment.

[StyngRay]

Depends on how serious and mature the two people are. But make sure you go over the issues that are important to both of you. Paramount is making it so that both of you are in the same city.

[UrLoveMocha]

I wouldn’t plan past two months tbh because anything can happen.

[lilBigPotato]

The only planning I do is to not end up in a ldr

[Japangirly]

You shouldn’t really plan anything before meeting them first.

[Miristheiss]

If you move away then we break up.

No LDRs ever.

[JHNS98]

My best female friend and her boyfriend have been together for a decade, even being 160 miles apart for 4 years while he was studying for an engineering degree at a university in a different city

[JHNS98]

Meanwhile I could be entering an LDR any day now. That's what happens on the internet sometimes...

[Miristheiss]

@JHNS98
That is what you call treating the EXCEPTIONS as if they were the rule.
Counting on the exceptions are not the wisest way to make life decisions.

[JHNS98]

Yes I know it's an exception, and I think she has BPD if I recall correctly. There might be an element of fear of abandonment from her BPD involved in this...

This is just my theory

[JHNS98]

My girlfriend and I just decided to take a break... Yeah, that's usually how long distance relationships pan out

[Miristheiss]

@JHNS98
Why long distance? Are you moving away from her or is she moving away from you? Back in the day, women would follow their guy wherever he went. Now with women treating career as if it is the most important thing and having kids or a family as some weird, bizarre form of oppression they are actively destroying solid relationships that could have resulted in families and/or marriage because they just had to go study abroad or they had to go to this one magic grad school to get some extra degree on top of a degree because she might one day make a little bit more money.

Reddit has endless stories of good relationships just ending over a woman's career.

The throw away some good relationships and put so much of their youth and fertility and time she is at her prime to land the best guy to get this shiny career and diploma... to then immediately act as if the guy still has to pay all the bills and "take care of her" and still like she can only be with a guy with some super high paying career and that she expects him to pay the bills and be the "traditional" man. What the hell did you waste 6 years and travel in all of this high education and career quest to then still act like you can only be with a guy with some top career? You don't want to depend on a man... yet you do because you are still obsessed about what he does and what his income is. Are you strong and independent or not? Which is it? LOL.

[JHNS98]

@Miristheiss We started talking on Snapchat about a year ago, and we live five hours apart.

Anyway, we couldn't sustain the connection so we took a break before the summer. Turns out long-distance relationships are really a lot of work.

[nomomrnice]

I would take it day by day and they're done that don't set yourself up for failure because too many times doesn't work out for whatever reason

[GrammariklyIncorrekt]

I would say a few months to make sure you save enough and make sure the other person doesn't back out

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Oh my I think the whole of gag is in the comments this is the first time iam seeing so many people commented..

[tfan1]

I’m sorry but I’ve never been in a long distance relationship and wanted to meet face to face.

[David318578]

Depends on how far is far. An hour drive is going to be completely different then have to take a plane.

[SleepingHazard]

I think planning a few months ahead would be wise, but not too far into the future. Maybe 3-4 months.

[SAMI_DABBAB]

It will never work if you plan it, maybe just let it be and pray day and night the distance won't last long

[A_Wild_Redhead]

Not even a minute. I am against LDR because you can't get to know them, truly.

[thomastown]

Not the kind of thing you can really plan ahead, unless you're saying "let's meet irl in about 3 months" or something like that.

[DrPepper12]

I wouldn't be in one because I've never known one to work out in the history of dating. EVER!

[Alex-Snow]

I think a lot depends on both of your schedules, how far away you are from each other, travel plans and how horny each of you are.

[Johnkramer98]

It depends on distance, and familiarity of the place. but most importantly on the people involved in the relationship. I mean if they want to meet eachother eagerly, why should they wait?

[libralove]

Any thing that you put hard work and dedication will last
-a job
-Schooling
-hobbie
-sobriety


Determination is key in keeping the “flame or passion” alive

[princeofromance]

You should hope for the best in a Long-Distance Relationship. These relationships often fail because of the distance and lack of communication.

[TheCoffeeisHot]

Depends on how much variability, unpredictability and distance you tolerate because it's all about accommodating each other when possible. So I can't give you an universal number.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Well there's no actual plan, much like when close contact, moving in together, and perhaps marriage actually occurs. You set a date and see what happens.

[MrGSpotHer]

It probably would depend on the different details of it but not too long incase it doesn't happen but I don't know if I could cope long distance stuff I'd end up doing something about maybe

[MrChinaski]

Warren Buffet: The best time to hold stocks is forever.

[Katrina_5]

Honestly, I think you should plan the logistics, not the relationship. Like, who's visiting who and when? What's the end goal? If u don't have a plan for that within a few months, it's probably just a fantasy.

[JHNS98]

But the logistics are a fundamental part of a long-distance relationship.

My two most recent LDRs both collapsed because of unfeasible travel logistics or lack of commitment to them.. Welcome to online dating as a disabled student forced to rely entirely on public transit.

[Katrina_5]

@JHNS98 you're focusing on the excuse. Logistics are a problem for everyone. The real issue is the lack of commitment. If the commitment is strong enough, the logistics get solved, even with public transit. the lack of commitment is the reason

[AskNaomie]

I would break up before I did a LDR sorry, they just dont work out. What I'm not about to do is wait fot a phone call saying you don't want to do this anymore while I think im waiting for you to come back.

[bingbongbangbung]

Omg why did GaG keep spamming me this afte every time I submitted a question

[Arachnophobic]

I think it’s smart to have a general idea of where things could go, but I wouldn’t stress about detailed plans too early. As long as we're both enjoying it and staying connected, the rest can unfold naturally.

[SolidGround]

No idea, I've never been in one but I would say at least one week ahead for smaller things and one month ahead for bigger things like weekends together and maybe half a year to plan the huge things like vacations and longer trips together

[Redgreenwood]

I have been in one LDR and it's usually helpful to plan things a few months in advance and but the odd spontaneous trip can be really rewarding! Look maybe don't take advice from me since it failed anyway lol...

[faith_it]

You gotta visit before we even be in a relationship

[gustavofring705]

This is an answer to the question "how far should you plan ahead (to visit someone) in an LDR?"

Seems more like an answer to "Are LDR a good idea?" or some other question that wasn't asked.

[exitseven]

We used to plan to visit during school vacations so it was pre planned.

[goaded]

@girlsaskgag How long is this 5 month old question going to be promoted?

[Easy1134]

That's tough. I would say six months would be the maximum.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

At least 6–9 months, then plan to visit them.

[FunkyMonkee]

How many more years is this question gonna be at the top of this page?

[happierlungs]

I would say plan at least a month ahead if not two. I dated a girl one distance for a little over two years and we always had way more success in meeting up and planning things out when they were way ahead of time.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I am thinking two months in advance. If I was to do ldr.

[MicahRaine]

It depends on where the relationship is at.

For me and Raine, we plan 3 months ahead.

[Jammannn]

LDR's dont work, covid is proof enough of that. I get that its easier to find but you're much better off investing in something real.

[GeorgePulchri]

Maybe 1 month. I have never been in one, but I did attempt something like this to meet someone I liked. It never happened though.

[aquamarine321]

I’m not sure why this question isn’t removed from my feed, and it’s been over a year seeing this question

[Cidknee]

I wonder why this question gets to stay right here where I see it after I x out of commenting elsewhere? It's been there for at least a week.

[Cidknee]

Make that a year!

[i_Jedi]

In a new LDR, just plan the next visit or small goals, save the big plans for later once things get serious.

[Meatballs]

I waited 2 years to meet a female friend I made when MySpace was the only social media in Oakland California for a Raiders game

[lolian94dl]

I think LDR is pointless if there no strong bond between the couple , but and way there no reason for planing if you are into him just go ahead for it

[AaaAviii123]

I’d say about 5 months. Nice to have a good idea before you fully commit, so you can always do longer.

[Ethan_T]

This queston was in my section of questions to answer but I never even had a girlfriend before 😅 so I don't know... 🤷‍♂️

[Mangospacho]

Plan no further than you’ve been in the relationship. If you’ve been together for 5 years, plan no further than 5 years out.