How far should you plan ahead in a new LDR?

Question

So how far have people planned ahead to visit someone if they are in a long distance relationship? 2 months? 4 months? Longer … thanks

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

No one should ever be in a LDR, unless you are married and circumstances forced you into a LDR temporarily. LDRs are essentially fake, and if the couple is apart for more than 90 days, the failure rate is around 98%.

The whole purpose of a relationship is to spend PHYSICAL time together, in the same actual room/space. A LDR is a "virtual" relationship - it's fake. It's an illusion. And in nearly every case, it's just a huge waste of people's time.

People who are in a LDR don't like hearing that - they want to believe - and that's exactly why they eventually get hurt and have regret. Most people have to learn this lesson the hard way, and some people get taught the lesson by life and STILL refuse to learn, so they keep doing it.

The truth is, people get LDRs because they want to shop outside of their price range, and instead of being happy and picking from their local options, they feel they "deserve" something "better" - even if it's fake. And their selfishness and shallowness will eventually come back to bite them.

If you are smart, you will always, ONLY date LOCALLY, because if you can't physically spend time with that person at least several days a week consistently, then you aren't in a real relationship, and you are wasting a lot of your precious time on a fantasy that will never come true.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

LDR are hard and usually don’t work out unless you are both on the same exact page with things , but sadly it’s a slim chance. Unless you both decide to make plans to move in together soon and one of ya leaves their job to be with the other , it’s a messy situation , not saying it can’t work , it ‘s just a slim chance for it to work. It usually turns into a booty call more than anything else , unless you are both on the same exact page and planning to be with each other as soon as possible , the longer you both wait? The longer it’s going to take for you both to be closer to each other , space sadly opens doors for other people to step in and sadly that’s what usually happens. One of you will meet someone else without the other knowing and everything turns to shit. You are better off finding someone that doesn’t have to make a lot of adjustments to be with you and someone you know you can trust 100 percent , that isn’t hiding anything under their sleeve before you fully give someone your heart and than they turn around and shit on it. It’s your life and your choice , just giving you some advice

Sugar100 · Accepted Answer

I have a LDR at moment & I haven’t seen him in 2 months but this month he will be coming to see me & next month too.

I had one guy I dated he lived 5 min away from me & never saw me. Maybe just once a month. Also I’ve never had a boyfriend so I never have had a boyfriend next to me 24/7 spending time with me & my family. I never had a serious relationship either.

but yes eventually one of us would need live together & I wouldn’t mind move to his state it’s not an issue for me. As long as we meet family & spend holidays together it’s the most important thing to prove he is actually my boyfriend.

CrazyGirl2 · Accepted Answer

I ended a relationship precisely because of this! We were planning what time we would see each other on Thanksgiving Eve, and Day, in late July! Just the thought of "What if dinner is a half hour late, I'll lose a quarter of my time with him!" It was just too stressful! #NotWorthTheStressAndHeartache

Laura. 🤗 🥰

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Aiming to sprinkle a bit of my relationship sparkle here! In the exhilarating world of a long-distance romance, planning is your best friend, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. The sweet spot? It's all about balance. Planning a visit 2 to 4 months ahead is like hitting the love jackpot—it's close enough to keep the butterflies fluttering but far enough to build that delicious anticipation. Remember, whether it's two months or a tantalizing four, the key ingredient is keeping the communication as hot and heavy as your future meet-up. Share calendars, dream a little, and let the countdown begin! But hey, why stop there? Keep the magic alive with spontaneous love letters or unexpected virtual dates. After all, in love and LDRs, it's the unexpected surprises that make the heart grow fonder. 🌹💫

V_Injector · Answer

LDR's are like a new idea to me and I'm surprised you're not like the really young people that even consider it a thing... most of the time. But here you are.

I guess it really depends on what kind of LDR this is. Is it like what I went through where the military put my wife out to sea for over a year with no port because COVID... OR... is this some chick you never even met yet?

I mean one is an established relationship where years of time in planning is fine... the other... you don't even know who she is even if you really think you do. And if it is the latter rather than the former... has she been hitting you up for money?

Your as old as me so you know why I'm asking and you know where I would go with that information.

Just be honest with yourself about what it is... and lay your expectations within those limits.

HawkPerception · Answer

There is no black and white answer when it comes to questions like these. It all depends on the person. How long are you willing to wait? Is the person worth it to you? How much do you really know them? How long can you last without being physically intimate with them? Do you fully trust them not to do anything while they aren't communicating with you from the far distance they are from you? How old are you? What's their past? And so many more questions...

I personally think that long distance relationships almost never work out. They can, but you HAVE to meet up at some point, or frustration can cause a rift and eventually break the relationship apart.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

When I first met my girlfriend (online), she decided to come to see me and bought a ticket for a couple weeks later. Since then, we have visited each other several times. We typically plan 1-3 months away but as we stay together longer, sometimes that plan is more long-term (further out). For example, the last visit was me going to see her, and I think the plan was put in place around June-July that after I did some other traveling domestically and abroad from September-December, that I would then come to visit for Christmas. That's about the furthest out (6 months).

I think it could be conceivable to plan to visit regularly, like say "Every Christmas" or "Every first week of August", then you could say you are planning for future years.

as for "should", no one can say what you should or shouldn't do, it's all up to you.

AviatorTom · Answer

An LDR works best when you have short term plans and king term plans. Short term, you should have plans on how to stay in touch, remotely, with email, text and video chat, and how often. Long term should include plans for getting together in person.

Short term should be a few months, while long term should be the next year or longer.

BullShark · Answer

As much as humanly possible. Not that I'm a fan of LDRs but if you got into a relationship first and then it naturally became LDR where one partner has to move away for a job, that's another thing, but even then, you both need to reeeally love each other and bear the pain of not being able to see or touch one another for a really long time, especially if you have completely opposite time zones

Summeroflove · Answer

Everyone is different and I think it depends on what works for both of you. Now two relationships are the same. If people feel as if they’re growing apart and falling out of love, then they need to have that conversation even if it’s hard.

But communication is key. Your wants and needs, as well as his. Long distance relationships can be very hard. Unfortunately some people are also cheated on.

AmandaYVR · Answer

It depends on how far away from each other you are. Logistics, expense, and other obligations such as work and family will dictate/inform the length of time between visits.

The more often you see each other, the faster it will progress the relationship. The inverse of that is if you go long periods (more than 3 months, let's say, approximately), the more you may delay an inevitable end.

DishLady · Answer

That sort of depends on how long you’ve known the person and how long you need to save up (or get a good price on a fare) to get to see the person.

Try not to “surprise” an ldr partner bc you need to make sure the person is real, is available, is willing to ACTUALLY see you, etc etc.

razelove · Answer

I don't know, anytime I've been with someone and there was distance I either closed the distance fast, or let go of them fast. It doesn't seem to work out as a long term solution.

Avicenna · Answer

4 months is too long unless they're really far away and you need to book s long flight

VIVANT · Answer

I don't know if plan to visit when I can 🤷🏻‍♀️ and when it works for them. I didn’t think it’s a objective formula.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I think the answer to that question depends entirely on your individual circumstances and not on any general rule/OSFA answer.

ohsheeT · Answer

Is that one of the new cars that are out LDR

Changiis07 · Answer

That is interesting question

Tittealicious · Answer

Truthfully wondering this same thing I am hoping to go visit my boyfriend next month. Although, not entirely certain if that is enough notice. I figure a month in advance is good. Especially since we were originally not long distance. We lived in the same town, and then he had to go away for work. I think a month, or two is okay to plan ahead I hope it is enough time for him. I know a month is plenty of time for me. I mean shoot give me a week, and I make it work for the man I love.

Recently, when he wanted to come see me, I told him what day I had off, and he never replied. Thus I ain’t know he was actually coming. Then morning of the day off he messaged “where you at?” Waking up that morning I was struggling immensely, and forgot to check my telephone. I had already made plans with my aunt which I forgot I had told her I would go to church with her. I checked my phone number seeing a message from my man. Not realizing he messaged me earlier in the morning. I woke up got ready for church, and left only to be in the car ride when I saw his message was from way earlier, and I felt awful. Had I checked sooner, I would have texted my aunt not to come get me.

If you take the time to properly communicate I try my best to be available. Except I am human, I forget sometimes I already made plans for the morning. Then when they ain’t message until last minute to say where you at. Honestly I just prefer a little bit of confirmation. Such as example on a Friday you say “when are free that I may come see you” Then I message that same Friday saying “Sunday I have off I would love to spend time with you” Then you might say “okay I will come Sunday morning be ready”. That aways I know you are coming for sure, and we firm up our plans on Saturday.

However, my man ain’t ever replied until Sunday morning saying “where you at?”, and I had already made my plans for morning church well before he asked about when he may come see me. I love him, and am completely understanding it was my fault not checking texts straight away that morning. I am thankful for how patient my man was regarding the incident.

SuckOnThisOpinion · Answer

It depends on your situation, especially its stability. If you're a student in their last Bachelor year, want to do a work-and-travel after and then do a master abroad somewhere you didn't decide on yet, of course you can plan only a very limited time frame.

Also, how detailed you want your plans to be depends on your situation. If you have an instable income, flexible schedules (such as in the student example, maybe u have a side job and self-structured studying to do) etc., you will need to stay quite broad.

I think the most important thing is realisitically figuring out, for as long of a time-frame as possible, how OFTEN you want to meet/call/whatever, and at the same time stay open for changes, because you'll only know what works best for you when once you're getting into it. You'll have to rearrange at lot.

But yeah, once you're in the flow, I'd plan as far ahead as possible to create as much safety as possible, but always stay open for changes.

If it's a really stable relationship and you love each other, it'll work!!

Screenwriter · Answer

The Superb Opinion is spot on. Too many complications in LDRs for them to survive distance and time apart.

Being in someone's presence and being able to experience that person several times a month in person is how you learn who someone is. Whether their breath or their body odor is offensive; if you can stand to see them chew their food, if you like how they laugh and WHAT they laugh at, if they have good or awful manners, whether that matters, if you're an outdoors person and they're a couch potato, whether your sets of friends mesh, if you like movies, TV, or books.

It's how you learn what your likes and dislikes are, and if you can tolerate each other. There is no other way to learn this except WITH each other. NOT once a month or every two months or three times a year.

Relationships are built brick by brick with two pairs of hands, in person. Words alone can't do this. You cannot know someone without being with them. Not virutally, by phone, on zoom, via instagram, or email, and regularly.

The giant point being, humans need each other's physical company, a hug, a kiss, a handshake. Being with each other is necessary and important. Don't let anyone fool you into thinking it isn't. Actions speak louder than words.

WendyJoel22 · Answer

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Jonasjonaitis · Answer

At the start of an LDR, you should plan just far enough to stay connected, invested, and aligned — but not so far ahead that you’re building castles on clouds before the foundation’s set. A healthy rhythm might look like this:First few months: Focus on getting to know each other in real, meaningful ways. Learn how you both communicate, handle distance, manage tough days, and celebrate good ones. Plan small things — next visit, video call routines, shared hobbies or watch parties.3–6 months in: Start gently talking about longer-term ideas. Not ultimatums or rigid plans, but things like “What would it look like if we closed the distance someday?” or “Where do you see yourself in a year or two?” You’re not plotting moves on a chessboard yet, just making sure you’re both playing the same game. After 6 months to a year: If things are solid and feelings are mutual, this is when you can more safely start envisioning realistic, tangible long-term plans — whether it’s visits, meeting families, career considerations, or relocation possibilities. The secret sauce is to stay in step with the natural progression of the connection. Don’t time travel too far ahead just because the distance makes you crave certainty. Focus on nurturing what’s real now, and check in regularly with each other’s hopes and comfort levels.

MrPiercedD · Answer

Long Distance Relationships are pointless and very quickly they finish. Why? Every person have own "needs" and "wants". "Wants" are the things which you want - like chicken for a dinner. "Needs" are things without which you can't survive - like dinner itself (doesn't matter if it's a mentioned chicken or maybe beef or maybe a fish).

Each healthy relationship is based that partners are compatible about each other needs, especially about one very important one which is sex. Yes, sex is one of the core needs of every human being (on the same level as other ones like - eating, drinking, breathing or using the toilet :) ). Some people need sex 1x a month, some other ones need sex 5x a day (on the same way, some people eat every other day and some people are eating 8 meals per day). If you are in LDR then the basic and core need of sex for you and your partner can't be met. It's the same if you live together but you have sex 1x a month (yes, he NEEDS way more - doctors are saying that each guy should "clean his pipes" at least 21x a month). It's only matter of time when you guys start cheating. It might be convenient for you if he pays all the bills and showers you with gifts, but it will not be a relationship, but convenienship for you and problem for him.

GatinhoPequeno · Answer

I'm currently over 6000 miles away from the woman I love, although very soon I'll be relocating to be with her permanently. We have been planning the move for about 6 months now, and only 28 days left til the big move. We're also loosely planning on getting married late next year, providing we get along well after moving in together.

Throughout our relationship we've made sure that we see eachother at least every 6 months, but most of the time it has been about 3 months. Whenever we part ways we're immediately planning our next visit or trip. So I guess we're always planning about 3 months ahead. Although if I wasn't making good money I'd probably have to book tickets a lot further in advance to reduce costs, which would make regular visits difficult, but if that was the case then we probably wouldn't see eachother enough to make this work.

If you're in a very-LDR like me, then during the early days of the relationship just plan for what is going to happen within the next 3-6 months. When you know you're right for eachother, and ready to plan bigger things, start planning further ahead, 6 months, 1 year, you'll need the time to sort everything out.

You need to plan ahead for LDR, it helps keep the relationship going, having something to look forward to. That being said, don't obsess with planning too much, life rarely works out exactly as we want it to, and obsessing over planning will lead to stress, which will make LDR feel futile.

donbrownzd · Answer

LDR's are complex. First of all, if you are married and you take jobs elsewhere out of necessity, that is one thing. Those can work if the parties work together to come together from time to time. If it is not necessary, the relationship is likely to fail. If it is a "dating" relationship, well, quite frankly, being engaged/dating is not a real relationship outside of high school. 95% of those are likely to fail. Someone will come along and there is nothing "really" holding the other person back and bam, next thing you know they are getting married, pregnant, etc. Many insecure people maintain LDR's out of the fear of not having any friends/confidants and out of fear. Again, married LDR's are very different dynamic. I will say, if the couple is older, it is likely to fail. There is nothing really holding them together, and love can only be stretched so thin before it develops holes. My 2 cents. And, yes, for those wondering both sides in a non-married LDR are VERY likely to be having sex with other people because they need their needs met, yes, sex is a necessary need in a real relationship, so you should not act suprised.

SerenitySky · Answer

It depends on what you are planning. If it's a trip to visit each other for example, then it's fair to plan at least 2-6 months in advance. If it's planning to have a video call together, you can plan that a few days in advance. If it's planning to move in together, maybe you should wait until after spending some decent amount of time together in person and carefully plan ahead at least 8 months ahead for something like that.. 🤷‍♀️ It's tricky to plan so far ahead sometimes because anything can change in a moments notice! I had an experience where I was talking to a man online for a good year at least, very often having video calls and daily messaging and planning to meet as soon as possible. I wanted to move to Germany already and I was hoping to find a place and work near him to be closer, but then when the time came to finally meet, he never showed up at the station!! After all those months and planning and calling and energy invested, I felt completely lost!! So I ended up moving to the Netherlands instead and it was the best unexpected change. Sometimes life has better things in store for us than we can plan anyway! Plan all you like, and have a back up plan just in case, but also, be open to the chance of change. 💫

Hope19s_ · Answer

When you're in a new long-distance relationship (LDR), it's important to find a balance between planning ahead and staying flexible. Here are some guidelines:

1. **Short-Term Plans**: In the beginning, focus on making short-term plans, like when you'll next visit each other or how often you'll communicate. This helps build trust and maintain connection without overwhelming the relationship.

2. **Check-In Regularly**: As the relationship progresses, have regular check-ins to discuss how things are going. This is a good time to talk about any changes in plans, future visits, or how you're feeling about the relationship.

3. **Mid-Term Goals**: After a few months, if things are going well, start discussing mid-term goals, like planning a vacation together or how to navigate holidays. This helps you both feel like the relationship is moving forward.

4. **Long-Term Discussions**: Only after you've been together for a while and feel confident in the relationship should you start discussing long-term plans, such as when or if you'll eventually live in the same place. These conversations are important but can be overwhelming early on, so it’s good to approach them gradually.

5. **Flexibility Is Key**: While planning is important, being flexible is just as crucial. Long-distance relationships come with uncertainties, so it's important to be open to changes and adapt as needed.

In summary, plan enough to keep the relationship strong and moving forward, but don’t rush into long-term commitments until you’re both ready. Take it step by step, ensuring both partners are comfortable with the pace

BadApple69 · Answer

It's been my experience that LDRs don't work. We all want them to, some of us need them too. It's my belief that we as humans need physical touch. The holding of a hand, a hug, a kiss... And when we don't get that contact we will eventually go looking for it... And I'm not even talking about sex which as young people we have that strong desire to mate.
Nature didn't design us to have computer screens to romance the opposite sex. We were designed to have that person in our own village. So we could see, touch, kiss, and ultimately sex. Computers and cell phones can't give us what we need.

pervyteeny69 · Answer

I am in one and sometimes we don't even message or talk for days (though we meet once in a month or two months). You shouldn't be forced to talk just because you're in a relationship. Talk when you want to and when you feel like. I think 4 years is a long time and your boyfriend might already be used to you, so he may not feel that it’s necessary to speak that often.

If you really think that you HAVE to speak to him before going to sleep every night, then that’s up to you, but also be prepared for the fact that he may not want to do that every night. It’s unrealistic to expect that someone will always want to talk to someone else (even if it’s their spouse or girlfriend) after a long day. It happens.

Tell him you would like to have late night calls sometimes - but every day might be excessive if you're not having them now anyway. Sometimes you’ll have nothing to talk about and that can be worse

777GgG · Answer

I had a friend who made plans to see her LDR partner every two weeks. He'd come here and 2 weeks later she'd go there. They had plans up to 6 months out. To see shows together or spend holidays together. With plans to eventually cohabitate.

Another instance is of an old coworker. He lived here and his fiance I'm Texas. They had plans for extended calls at least once a week and saw each other in person monthly. She was running a business out there and he was finishing up a degree here. After graduation he was gone. In his car the same night with all his things.

Both of the those people are very happy and have been back to visit at least once a year. Whole they are hard work LDR can succeed.

BonbonEmpress · Answer

Yea I don't typically think LDRs are sustainable relationships, communication, trust, and intimacy are all important features of a healthy relationship. In LDRs, the communication could be there but still not as much as regular ones, as for trust, it could also be there, but it'd have to like blind trust without much proper reason to have such faith in the first place since trust is built stronger in regular relationships since you can't hide much. As for intimacy, there would be barely anything so you'd feel a lack of connection to the partner, the only times I think it's fair is when someone is in the military or a situation where they have to be somewhere for 1-few years. Typically the only ones I've seen are successful are ones which have already been a regular relationship for a few years then had to become an LDR temporarily for purposes such as going to the military for a bit, other than that they usually fail.

Zena_lin · Answer

Planning for a long-distance relationship (LDR) can be a bit like navigating a maze with no map—exciting but tricky. Typically, people aim for about 2 to 4 months ahead for visits. This gives you enough time to save up, coordinate schedules, and build up that sweet anticipation.

But if you can manage longer plans without stressing too much, it might be worth it, especially if travel arrangements are complex or you both have unpredictable schedules. The key is to strike a balance between staying flexible and having enough structure to keep the excitement alive.

imtiaz45 · Answer

In a new long-distance relationship (LDR), it's essential to balance planning with flexibility. Start by setting short-term goals, such as scheduling regular calls and planning visits. Discuss your long-term goals and expectations within the first few months to ensure you're on the same page. Reevaluate your plans periodically, adjusting as needed based on how the relationship evolves. Prioritize open communication about your future together while allowing room for growth and change. Striking this balance helps maintain a healthy relationship and builds a strong foundation for the future.   read

ZackBan · Answer

A good buddy of mine got with his childhood crush one month before moving abroad. After 4 years of only LDR and meeting on hollydays he's now marrying her.

So I think it's sweet? Yes. Is it insane? Absolutely.

I don't think LDR is a good idea because the detachment from the other person doesn't allow you to get to know their flaws.

As for planning ahead: I like the approach of always planning ahead as long as you can look back.
(Been together 3 months plan for 3 months. Together 5 years, plan for 5 years)
It's a good tactic to always keep expectations realistic and aligned with the relationship

Shiprex · Answer

It can work as long as the individuals involved are able to control themselves and not be self indulgent. Plenty of people are able to be apart without the uncontrollable myth of lust overcoming them. Those here saying it's not possible obviously aren't trustworthy or committed enough to MAKE the effort.
My wife and I when we started going out were from different continents and cultures but when she HAD to return to hers, after a few months I went there and found a job that ended up being better than what I left and we were settled, got a dog, got married then when we went on our honeymoon to somewhere neither of us had been before chose to return to Europe where we'd met and left 8 years earlier. She found a job while I had a year to end my contract and we moved her and the dog there. It was no problem, we had our lives apart and communicated regularly not for hours every night though

leftovercream_ · Answer

I recently broke up with my ex of 3.5 years due to LDR. We weren’t initially in a LDR. But once we graduated he moved back to his hometown. There were a lot of complications by that time and it got pretty messy. I remember begging him to see me just once but he never did. In fact he planned two trips to my city but visiting me was too much of a hassle and required him to align things. lol I laugh and get embarrassed when I think about that. But tbh at the end of the relationships are all about consideration and consistency. I know people who ended up in secure marriages while being in a LDR. So maybe it’s all about luck. Even if you plan things which I did , life has other things for you. So it’s better off to stay away from LDRS!!!

strangeatcircleK · Answer

I think its tricky. You first of all have to ask how long can you both stay apart and then plan from there. From there it should make more sense. You can never plan too early. Book the room and tickets as early as you can to have solid future plans. I think its during a time line your partner is comfortable with, maybe asking them a time to discuss future plans on a regular basis. If it is once every 2 or 3 months then that is when you call and book future plans

However, if you are simply asking how long a period of waiting in-between, I think budget and life plans, job... all important.

DomInDraper · Answer

It really comes down to the relationship. While the LDR aspect is a consideration, it isn't the prime one.

I've planned things ahead by 6 months just 3 months after meeting someone. I ended up marrying that girl.

Meanwhile, I've been in relationships were after 6 months, I had no desire to plan even 3 weeks ahead. Well, one.

If you want advice on a specific situation, it may be helpful to provide more details, both about what you're trying to figure out, as well as the details of the relationship -- how long has it been going on, how did you meet, where do you live (like same country or international LDR?), that kind of thing.

Ghost_Mochi · Answer

Bruh, LDR is the hardest shit ever in my opinion

Unless you both make very good money, can both drive; basically to put it simply, if you both have your lives reasonably figured out, then it isn't going to work no matter what you do.

You can of course, sit there and wait years and years, but time is going to pass you by and you are going to realize sooner or later that you're wasting time on your phone or laptop for years on end.

Do yourself a favor and don't do LDR unless you are in a good place financially and life wise.

Stevepro68 · Answer

Sorry... plan to have it fail. Sure you may be that 1 in a 100 that it's going to work out. Intimacy, and I don't mean just sex, is part of a relationship. Distance denys you that. Eventually humans just become friends with benefits then not even that. Meet ups generate extremely high expectations that often fall short and contribute to the end of the relationship. Sorry wish I could give better advice.

thatshydork · Answer

Depends on how far away they are. If they’re across the world, I suggest planning a year in advance (tickets are usually cheaper that way). If they’re a few hours away, I’d say a few weeks in advance is fine. If you live in a country as big as the USA and can’t just drive to visit someone on the other side of the country, at least a month in advance.

PhenomenalQueen · Answer

How long have you known the person? Is this just someone you’ve been interacting with over the phone and online? If so, I honestly wouldn’t plan that far ahead.. It really depends on you and how well you know the person. It may work out, but how would things go for you? You have to know what your desired outcome is with this person and theirs. What are you short term and long term goals? What are theirs? All of this matters.

Cute_Miss_Laura · Answer

I would never have an LDR. But is you are so inclined, I would bring it up as SOON as possible, so you have as much time to prepare and plan who will be doing the traveling, and who well bare the costs. Also to outline every weekend, holiday etc… where you will be together. Also really analyze whether or not it’s really worth it to you.

JamesDylan1990 · Answer

I was in one for 3 years we would plan stuff for like thanks giving in March but she eventually left me over me having had no money and I had a stroke. She knew of my physical limitations the entire time and still chose to leave. So it depends on if you are truly in love. If you love them it might could work. She lived about an hour away but we sometimes went weeks without seeing each other so it was hard. I didn't drive due to the stroke but realistically just keep constant communication

Klandestina · Answer

Not to break anyone's heart, but I don't believe in LDRs. Only exception would be if two of you are married and one of you had to move to a distance temporarily. It can be a pain if you don't get to hold hands, kiss, or hug each other. Trust issues are very likely to arise after some time too.

sheenagwapa · Answer

i don't wannq be in a relationship with anyone but this wuestion keep popping on my feed so i just answer it. i am super thankful though to certain people for their help. i have strong faith in Jesus i know i will find my real the one. i just wanna seeve God that's all i want and hopefully someday find my prince charminh.

Tomblebee · Answer

As far out as you need to get cheap flights, pay a little extra for a full refund option if you are worried about sticking it out together. If it's prohibitively expensive it will feel like you are putting. A price on their love. Best to have a date set in stone to look forward to than expect them to visit on a whim and blow the bank... Unless you get last minute discounts and can comms on when would be good or not good to suddenly arrive in each other's lives.

Texasgal95 · Answer

To be honest, it depends on each person and each relationship where you feel like it’s going if you feel like it going well and going in the direction you’re whining it too. I say go for it whenever you both feel comfortable about it if you don’t think it’s gonna end up going the way you want it to I wouldn’t even worry about wasting money on going and visiting the person.

Communicationisking · Answer

There is not much info to go on here some more help with answering your question would be good ie. how long have you been in the relationship for, have you met before, were you in a relationship before it became a LDR, do you have intimate calls text video chats etc and the list goes on. the more info you provide that your comfortable with sharing the easier it is for people to help you.

GigglesQuestions · Answer

It really depends on the relationship and the people involved, but in a new long-distance relationship, it's good to have a general idea of where things are headed without forcing a rigid timeline. You don’t need to map out the next five years, but you should at least talk about short-term goals—like when you'll see each other next and how often you both realistically can.

If things get more serious, then planning for the long term (like who might relocate, career goals, etc.) becomes important. But in the beginning, it’s more about staying present, keeping communication strong, and making sure you're both on the same page about what you want. If one person is thinking casual and the other is thinking marriage, that's something you need to address sooner rather than later.

RyanCan · Answer

In my experience with long-distance relationships, I've found that planning visits about two to four months in advance works well. This timeline usually helps both parties secure better travel arrangements and accommodate busy schedules without too much stress. As the relationship grows and becomes more stable, I've even started planning further ahead, like six months or up to a year, especially for special occasions or longer vacations. Keeping an open line of communication about travel expectations and maintaining flexibility has been key, especially when unexpected changes crop up.

Daniela1982 · Answer

They have a high probability of failure so I wouldn't even bother looking at entering into one.

overlord337645 · Answer

ldr is hard and can easily end in heartbreak as its easier for both sides to cheat and you dont really know the other person up close i mean they can easily put on a facade for an hour a day until your married and then when you are they come home and they could be extremely abusive for all you know

zayndan · Answer

So many negative comments. I'm in a LDR and everything is fine. We are both loyal to each other and we meet up every 2-3 months, no longer than 4 months. We spend a couple days together. We don't have sex in our relationship, so the desire for sex and to cheat is very low. Also my girlfriend is a virgin anyways. In fact this LDR situation is best for us atm, we don't argue or fight because there's nothing to fight about

cheapshotbob · Answer

Don't let it get to the point to where you want to exchange rings to be married. that stuff is stupid. No one wants to marry someone else over a long distance relationship.

I found it out the hard way and I'm not following that route. that's for people who are desperate or believe anything others say

MaddieMadz · Answer

The most important thing no matter what is each person making the maximum effort to see each other as much as possible, which comes with sacrifices. If either person doesn’t put that effort in, that LDR is doomed. The amount of distance between you and how often you can see each other dictates how far out to plan. I was temporarily in a LDR, but within driving distance. We did not go a single week without seeing each other for the 6 months we were long distance. If you are states away, I guess you have to plan months out if you see each other infrequently.

TheaRhea · Answer

I am in an LDR as of now, of 2 years. So far it’s not been east to navigate. It tends to get really messy specially if you’re from two different time zones.
I have only planned for three months at first. I was very reluctant to share my life with a stranger on the internet but as time goes we got pretty close. It takes TIME and you definitely can’t rush into things. It took me good 6 months to properly understand my boyfriend, his hobbies, his life and what he does.
It is definitely harder than having a real life relationship, so I wouldn’t advise starting one unless you’re in the same page in things.
Since you are already in one , I would tell you to not take it to heart and try it out first for at least 3 months. Then see where it goes.

iCuddleU · Answer

In a new long-distance relationship, it’s helpful to plan ahead for a few months. Establishing regular communication routines and setting dates for visits can create a sense of stability. It’s also beneficial to discuss future goals, like where you see the relationship heading, to ensure both partners are on the same page. Flexibility is important, too, as circumstances can change. Overall, maintaining open communication about your needs and expectations can guide your planning.

AnonGal233 · Answer

I'm also in a LDR. I would definitely ask them when they are available for a visit. Thats the first step. Second is to figure out your schedule. If you plan on migrating where they are, I would definitely keep the communication open always. There are some benefits to LDR. You know why? Because the majority of a LDR is: COMMUNICATION. So I would suggest figuring out when the two of you are available for union. It doesn't matter how long you should plan, its when both of you are available to meet. Now the question is, how long have you been seeing eachother?

Zack-Bann · Answer

I like the idea of planning ahead for the same amount of time you’ve been together already.

But in an LDR I'd cut out some of that time because it’s a bad idea and a horrible way to get to know someone.

a good friend of mine proposed to his LDR girlfriend this summer after 3 years of dating and I can’t help but think he doesn’t REALLY know her

luvstoned4him · Answer

Im very serious and would plan immediately but I will only do that if the guy was serious as well because relationships are not a one way street and am NOT GOING TO put in efforts for someone who isn't serious or care about me as much as I do for them.

godfatherfan · Answer

If you look at a LDR that way, it is guaranteed not to work. They are already very difficult to make work. You have to be fully invested in the relationship. So you make plans no different then if you were in a relationship with someone that lived a street away.

hahahmm · Answer

Trick question because I would never be thinking that a LDR is going to last more than the next couple of days. My advice is if you're in LDR, meet asap and decide if you want more or not. if so than somebody needs to move closer. Don't keep doing LD.

How far should you plan ahead in a new LDR?

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