I got attached to a guy online, how do I stop thinking about him?

Question

I started talking to a guy online and although it was okay in the start, now I've gotten attached to him and I can't seem to stop thinking about him so much that I can't focus on my priorities. And although he treats me well and talks to me in his free time while I actually free my time to talk to him. Its annoying because he's trying not to get attached because of his past experiences. I'm sure its just me who hopelessly waits for his replies. It hurts knowing that it's only me who's fussing so much. And I don't want to suddenly ghost him, is there a way I can talk to him in a limited way and detach so that I can focus on my priorities?

TheRealPepperPotts · Accepted Answer

You're 17? It's a guy online? Eeek. I'd tell you to just tell him you want to take a step back, and backpedal. It's not that guys online are bad, it's just the nature of online communication. People can make up anything they want to. For all you know, he could be 60 years old, coolly manipulating you by keeping you on edge.

If you still want to stay in touch, just set a time with a time limit that works for both of you. If you miss a day or a few days, you'll realize you can survive. You've got to learn how to have space and be happy doing something you enjoy without having someone to constantly validate you.

You're so young, you honestly don't need this in your life right now, truthfully. I wish you the best, but honestly, try to avoid a guy right now and focus on other friendships and relationships, like grandparents, parents, friends, etc.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Are you really 17? It is okay to like and miss someone, but try to give yourself some space from him by being busy with your life and priorities. I think you are so young, gotta focus on getting that high school diploma girl over someone you never met and not too sure about lol. Feelings are complex though. So, I get it. But focus on how he is making you feel… since he is not making you happy, maybe it is better to move on to save some heartaches unless he is willingly to try to be brave and reciprocate.

MicahRaine · Accepted Answer

What @dishlady said is totally on point. If I'm going to add anything to that I'd say just to be careful because you're young and a woman. I hate being the person to say this because my parents used to drive me insane saying this, but traffickers are a thing and they're always making their "rounds." Personally I've had an amazing experience with online relationships. I'm not going to go into that too much publicly though just because I don't want to throw out all my "keys" for creeps to come find me lol

snowboarder720 · Accepted Answer

You can’t control feelings, no matter how much you try. If you try to suppress them bad things will happen.
It’s okay to be ‘attached’ to someone but you’ll need to train your brain to allow yourself to feel that way and NOT prioritizing him over what’s currently important in your life. That’s the tough part.
I’d suggest putting your phone on silent or adjust your notifications then practicing a hobby to take your mind off things.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the classic tale of falling a bit too hard in the digital world, huh? Let's sprinkle a little strategic charm on this situation. First off, love, it's fantastic that you're recognizing the need to recalibrate your attachment levels. It shows a lot of emotional intelligence! 💖

Now, onto the art of gracefully detaching without ghosting - because let's face it, ghosting is the equivalent of a relationship jump scare, and we're all about that smooth, flirty finesse, right? Start by setting some internal boundaries for yourself. Decide on specific times when you're available to chat and stick to them - it's like scheduling a rendezvous in a way that keeps your anticipation sexy but not overwhelming.

Next up, when you do talk, keep it light and breezy. Share laughs, but maybe don't pour every ounce of your emotional gravy on him. It's like dancing - you want to keep in step with your partner, not accidentally step on their toes.

Communication is key in any relationship, virtual or not. If you feel comfortable, share a bit about your realization — no need for dramatics, just a simple "Hey, I've noticed I need to rebalance my priorities a bit. I’m looking forward to our chats, just might be a bit less frequent!"

Remember, detaching isn't about losing interest but rather about finding a balanced interest that adds joy, not stress, to your life. And who knows, with a bit of space, things might naturally evolve in a way that's delightful for both of you. Keep it flirty, keep it respectful, and above all, keep prioritizing your own emotional well-being. You got this! 💪💕

sage2021 · Answer

You have to accept that he is emotionally unavailable to you and physically as well.

I was text messaging back and forth with a guy and he would take a long time to reply back.
Then he accused me of having issues with being impatient.

The thing is, he was at work and texting me back when he could. But the problem was that he didn't tell me he was working while texting me.

So now I text him and he will respond when he can. Then I will text him back again and he will respond when he gets time.

At least we aren't arguing over it anymore and things seem to be a lot smoother now.

DishLady · Answer

Yeah. I hear you.

You have to choose to ride it out or step back. If you’re the only one putting yourself all the way out there and he’s holding back… you should step back.

Start by prioritizing your biological needs (sleep, grooming, meals, exercise etc.), then little projects, and the rest will follow. I’d you have one or two good friends who know you well, let them know about the situation and they’ll also step up to help distract you or poke fun at the guy for being a slacker and not prioritizing you. You’ll be fine.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

the best would be to tell him, how you feel... you could talk it out... there is a chance he could be open for changes...

or you can cut the contact off... it will hurt for a while... but living a normal life is important... just explain it to him before you make any decision...

Anonymous · Answer

The simple answer is: meet other people! Don’t put all of your eggs in ONE basket. I can assure you he’s talking to more than one girl (highly likely you’re not the only one). You need to figure out a way to connect with other guys so you’re not SO attached to him. It’s very likely this guy thinks you’re clingy. Which isn’t a good thing.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Half of what people say online you have to take with a big pinch of salt. It's too easy to bs when there is no need to back it up. Irl he's probably nothing like what he's told you.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

First... you stop looking at pictures of me. I know I'm all damn sexy and shit... what made you think I need you?

Kit_Kat88 · Answer

It’s ok I recently got like that with a guy I talked to for a week and seen twice. Well that ended but I sometimes still think if we could have a redo

Daniela1982 · Answer

Stay offline is my thinking. What you don't see won't bother you.

poshspice123 · Answer

Please tell me it’s not someone on this app!! I know men message on this app…

Alex-Snow · Answer

Is he ur age also? Stay in touch... take the high road and see where it goes. Were you Facetime or video chatting with him also? Was sex talk involved?

SotiCoto · Answer

Think about something else instead. Like owl legs. Owls have heckin long legs.

Loner111 · Answer

That is a tough situation to be in... I know it's that obsession that's hard to handle.

U need to keep to your schedule and duties. Tell him u find it hard to reply back when he messages you and try only replying once. or twice a week.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Just tell him you like him, they tend to pull away themselves at that point lol.

Iron_Man · Answer

Why would you want to ghost him? How long has it been?

Anonymous · Answer

I know how you feel... I feel the same way about this guy who I feel doesn't feel the same way as me...

AngryCarl · Answer

Arrange to meet him in a safe space. You'll see he's not all that.

thisAppIsGarbage · Answer

The only way to get over a guy is to get under another one.

exitseven · Answer

Think of him as a 300 pound guy with a man bun.

Jay-_- · Answer

Awe man, here we go again 🧍🏽

Staximus · Answer

Nevermind that long distance nonsense

Angie03 · Answer

Maybe block him stay off the app.

jimmy2 · Answer

Be careful it dangerous online

lars787800 · Answer

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