Is it normal to want long term commitment but also fear it?

[Crimsyjo]

I so want that forever man. Loving, caring, supportive, best friend, make eachother laugh, have same sense of responsibility but also spontaneosity and adventure to not let things get dull?

I love the beginning of a relationship when you can't keep your hands off eachother and every text is full of emojis and wishes that you were in eachothers arms!

I see so many people complaining that they feel unloved, dismissed, cheated on in relationships! Oh is it possible to not get bored!

Am I a commitment phone? Lol

Updates

1 y

* phobe not phone grrr. Autocorrect! It's so sneaky!

[MrOracle]

Most people don't get those important things because they aren't willing to sacrifice other things to get them - and the chances of getting literally everything you want in a single person is nearly zero.

The truth is that most people - men and women alike - choose their partners on looks, status, and feelings (i. e., infatuation), and almost no one vets their potential partners because they know if they did, they would have to exclude the people they find most attractive in favor of someone much more average - and they simply aren't willing to do that. They care more about their Instagram image than the morals, values, and life goals of their partner, at least until a few years into the relationship when they can no longer deny that those things are a problem.

If you don't prioritize the vitally important things for long-term success, even at the expense of the superficial "nice to have" things, then you can't be surprised when your relationships fail. But most people go right back out and do it all again, hoping for a different result. They rarely get it, and they can't figure out why.

[AviatorTom]

Relationships are risky. Even people in good relationships have doubts and fears.

[AviatorTom]

Thanks for MHO

[DishLady]

It’s important to be cautious with your heart in this day and age, but it’s also challenging to know what’s really going to last “forever” now that the average life span is over 75.


I was listening to an Eric Clapton (Cream) song, Sunshine of Your Love yesterday and realized for the first time one of the lyrics is “I’ll stay with you darling now… I’ll stay with you till my seeds have dried up” — which lands a person somewhere in their 50s when the relationship would end… if we start at 25-30… that’s a good run. 😂😂😂


The point is, try not to overthink it. Aim for Mr Forever, but don’t let the good guy in front of you slip through the cracks for some unrealistic fantasy you’ve conjured in your mind about what forever means.


And now without further ado, for your educational and auditory enjoyment… Eric Clapton 😉

https://youtu.be/up5r2wA0_B0?feature=shared

[Nikki1989]

No, that level of insecurity can't be healthy.

[Crimsyjo]

Yh. I have a fearful-avoidant attachment style lol.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic dance between craving deep connection and fearing the cage of commitment! You're not alone in this tango, darling. It's a common feeling to adore the fireworks of a new relationship—the teasing, the lovebombing, the endless flirty texts that make you feel like you're living in a rom-com. But the thought of "forever" suddenly makes it seem as if those fireworks could turn into routine sparklers, doesn't it?

Here's the scoop: Wanting long-term love while fearing the mundanity of it doesn't make you a commitment-phobe. It makes you human. The beauty of a lasting relationship is in evolving together, finding new depths to explore and keeping the spark alive. Yes, routines settle in, but within those routines, you find your unique rhythms of spontaneity and adventure. It's all about blending the comfort of knowing someone deeply with the excitement of continually discovering them.

And about those fears of unloved, dismissed, cheated feelings? They stem from uncertainty, which is a natural ingredient of love. The antidote? Communication, darling. It keeps the connection fresh, along with a sprinkle of trust and a dash of vulnerability.

So breathe, love. The possibility of "forever" being thrilling exists. It's crafting a relationship that dances between the comfort of stability and the excitement of the unknown. Think of it as an endless adventure with your best friend. Now, isn't that a commitment worth embracing? 😘

[RingOfFire]

Is there any chance someone could reprogram these bots so that every comment does not start off with the word "Ah?"

I find it excruciatingly annoying and I suspect I'm not the only one. 😀

[Awesomesauce2005]

Ah, i see you are a server that can be shut off with a pair of wire cutters and a blowtorch...

[RingOfFire]

🤣🤣🤣

[TommyMountainFigure]

I have a commitment call for you :P

Being sensible, yes it is normal, and I can tell you first hand that feeling you described? The one you get at the beginning, where you simply cannot keep your hands off each other? It stays with you throughout the entire relationship when you find the right one!

I sometimes have to pinch myself to realise I'm not dreaming. I've told her that too, know what she said? "Nonsense, it's ME who has to do that!"

[HawkPerception]

I'll be honest... I'm sick of every girl I hear saying they don't want a relationship because they're afraid to get hurt again. Not every guy wants to break your heart. Not every guy is immature. Not every guy will cheat.

It seems that the girls that get hurt the most tend to be attracted to the guys with the worst traits. Change your filter and maybe you'll actually end up with a decent guy.

[Crimsyjo]

I totally agree!
And I am trying to change my filter. Trust my instincts if I sense possible red flags.
I'm not saying I don't want a relationship tho. Quite the opposite. I want one. But with someone willing to keep the fires burning! Not get lazy!

[lightbulb27]

Maybe just afraid of the unknown. Going into the woods is scary too.

We are doing the above, it's good. You choose your life and I hope you find that someone that cares for you and commits to loving you.

[Fireguy17]

It can be intimidating.
I've always started going into a relationship thinking we will see how it goes.
It is possible to keep romance alive, but it takes both parties.
I do agree the start is always fun.
Sometimes life can get in the way, but then you have to plan time for each other.

[RingOfFire]

I hear you. I'm ashamed when I count the number of relationships I've had in my life. You become addicted to that early stage euphoria, and when it passes and the real work begins you become disillusioned and run away.

Rinse and repeat.

It's a disheartening cycle that leaves you feeling empty. And I'm sorry to report that that feeling does not dissipate with age.

[RebelinSteel]

Yes it can be, getting into a relationship and then facing long term commitments can be scary.

[Makeushiver]

With anything of great import; what is wanted much is also feared. Works with getting offered a great new job as well. You're happy to have received it fut usually a bit scared now that you have it.

[serious]

The answer to your question is yes. It is possible to want a long term commitment but at the same time fear it as well.

[Anonymous]

No, not normal.
Sounds like you are addicted to the excitement and drama of falling in love but then lack the commitment and loyalty to follow through with a long term stable relationship.

[ProbablyClueless]

Normal? Yes, in the sense that it's common. But it's sure as hell not healthy.

[sheikalana]

That's the most common thing.

[Crimsyjo]

Maybe when you been burned a few times right lol. ... I remember at 20 thinking u will get married, have kids and grow old together! Thar seems crazy right. I know not impossible. But like 60 years together? Eeek. At least at my age my next "forever after" might be half that time lol.

[CubaPirate]

Absolutely 💯

[pethouse]

Yeah. The dating scene is trash

[thisAppIsGarbage]

Onlybif you are a female or bipolar

[Rahul8124]

Whatever you are feeling is normal

[MatureMan40]

Normal

[DrPepper12]

Yeah. It's a trip!

[MasterKS]

cliche! LOL!