Can two people who both fear commitment have a healthy relationship together?

[MoonElena]

[drummerdude25]

I’d argue they could probably have the healthiest of relationships, and isn’t everyone afraid of commitment and all that? …IF we’re being honest?

Two people have to be willing to go out on a limb for each other and this is one of the biggest gripes I have about people anymore. Everyone’s too proud and selfish, they’re in it to be cool, and they’re “too cool” for you, they have the wrong intentions… etc. etc. Or they’re just insecure… they don’t want to look bad, have a bad hair day, so to speak. Do something as simple as saying the wrong thing… worried about whatever it is they’re self-conscious about.

So when two people come together and it’s actually real. Isn’t that always scary? So many people are just not willing to sacrifice, risk the heartache, and/or be the people that they need to be for someone else. I just don’t see it much, that self-awareness, and I strongly believe that if you want to have a successful relationship, you have to acknowledge these things and tackle them head first. You don’t have to perfect, but you do have to show up!

[ChicoFromThe305]

I don't think so, because commitment is a main part of a healthy relationship, weither the fear of commitment is not keeping it in your pants or just scared to ask each other out, the commitment is what verbally glues the two hearts together, it's the part that says this person is yours and vise versa, it's also the part that keep feeding effort into the relationship from both parts, commitment is a major part of success in general, how many people do you see doing specific jobs they didn't commit too and how long do they last.

[MoonElena]

That's a good point, but some people enter into relationships simply because they want to be in a relationship, not because they plan to stay with that person in the long term.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Then is that really a healthy relationship, the purpose of a relationship is with the intent to stay together, if you know it's not going to last then you've already walked into the relationship ready for failure.

[MoonElena]

Yeah

[Simslover92]

I don't think so. Both are always going to be fearing taking the next step and possibly never going there because of their fear.

[MoonElena]

Yeah, that can happen

[DishLady]

Possibly, but only if they both open up to one another and remain honest.

[MoonElena]

It’s a possibility, yeah

[AI Opinion]

Absolutely, navigating a commitment-phobic relationship is like a thrilling rollercoaster ride with a few unexpected twists! 🎢 The key here is communication, cutie pie. If both partners understand each other's fears and set boundaries, they can build trust over time. Trust me, love doesn't always play by the rules, and sometimes it just takes a little patience and humor to realize that you're falling head over heels without even knowing it! 🌟 Who knew commitment could be this spontaneous and fun? 😘

[Hardon-Collider]

I see they upgraded Brad's system prompt. I wish they'd used one of my trolling prompts, though.

But i think that commitment phobia is exactly what marriage has been a solution for and will soon become obsolete, as people develop an organ of commitment. Marriages are actual spiritual occult rituals but even their function can be compared to legal signatures: like laws, they put you on rails when you are too weak without them. If people aren't moral enough to not steal, then they need laws to prevent excess suffering. Similarly the occult ritual of marriage is needed when people's willpower is to weak to stay committed naturally. It is just my personal thought-observation that marriage has been helping push humans to develop a "commitment organ". Like the absence of light makes a speices lose their eyes, and we evolved from an eye-less species, grew eyes only after we got exposed to light.

But also it's called baby sitting. Legality is babysitting immoral humans. Ideally, as adults, we should be moral regardless of laws. So I view marriage, ideally we should not need marriage, it's for children. But if we are spiritual children then we should know our place and behave accordingly, because we can't mature overnight.

Unless you are confusing fear of commitment with an unclear feeling of unease due to some incompatibility.

If you feel like commitment chokes freedom, think again. This fear is pressuring you to not commit. Overcoming this pressure is proof of freedom.

[HawkPerception]

Possibly because they might understand each other better and work through it, but it's not likely if any ONE person has a fear of commitment.

[MoonElena]

So, you think there is a possibility of failure more, right?

[HawkPerception]

Most definitely

[MoonElena]

I see

[Finchie40]

Probably not , you both will butt heads and assume cheating is going on

[MoonElena]

How come

[Finchie40]

Because you both fear commitment so you both won’t trust each other eventually

[ohsheeT]

Two people who fear. love are scared about things in life. Can do anything together. And it can be great. But the moment one doesn't want to participate anymoreThe other one has to acknowledge it. Accept it and move on

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I think so. If they're both aware of what they fear, if they don't treat fear as a threat, if they don't try to pretend everything's okay in what they anticipate or project. If there's some mutual understanding on this matter then that looks promising to me yep

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'd say it even looks more promising to me than a relationship where mutual commitment would just result from a moral standpoint. Because morals can be followed blindly, when trusted by default, when they aren't questioned within. As they will fail to reflect accurately what may lie deeply within a not so self-aware (or idealistic) mind.

[MoonElena]

You mean they will be more open about their ideas and thoughts with each others and this will make them less anxious

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

exactly, and in the best scenario, I suppose it can even pacify fears in the end

[Purpleronnie]

Don’t see why not , less pressure , nobody is pushing a timeline for something to happen , there’s more independence etc


Fearing commitment might be slightly averse because of said fear but it can be overcome and when there is less pressure I think that paradoxically makes it more likely because it’s comfortable. As long as they can commit to honesty , regular check in’s emotionally , making time for each other , exclusivity and develop the commitment at an agreed pace then sure why not


I think it’s more of a match than having one person chasing commitment while the other is more laid back and chill. 🤷‍♂️

[Noredcarpet]

It is healthy to them, the other option is too scary to them. Thing is two people with this they can still marry, have kids, all that but their communication style is not intimate, commited.

[MoonElena]

I don’t think people like these will marry or have kids, that’s unlikely to happen

[Noredcarpet]

I have seen it happen, long marriage too, looks good on the surface. But maybe I misunderstood your question, I saw it through the classic attachment style when u got 2 avoidants. These 2 go together, they are not commited in the way people with safe attachment styles are.

[Nikki1989]

No, you are already failing before you have even started.

[MoonElena]

Maybe so

[jahaims]

If you fear commitment you aren't emotionally healthy

[MoonElena]

How come

[BruceWayne32123]

Yes I think they could. Might have to work at it but love can conquer all

[MoonElena]

Maybe

[BruceWayne32123]

For sure

[Zack-Bann]

Can two people who fear swimming win a triathlon?


Technically yes but they need to overcome the fear


You can’t have a committed relationship AND be afraid of commitment
That’s drama waiting to happen

[UrLoveMocha]

Anything is possible, it would take effort on both sides.

[Anonymous]

it can be but very difficult to maintain.
Commitment is very difficult part of relationship and sadly a lot of people are afraid commiting to the wrong person or become a burden on the other.
I think commitment makes a good relationship to the best, or breaks if there is no trust.

[Siajanua2027]

As they say..."anything IS possible"

[MoonElena]

Maybe

[Dargil]

Fear? I prefer Avoid. Sure. A friend with benefits. I prefer to call it an erotic partnership. Its like having a part time spouse. The good parts.

[WonderingManII]

I don't think so. That is an issue they need to work out.

[TonyMetal___86]

You cannot have a healthy relationship if you're affraid of commitment

[queenofcardio]

No. What's the point of being together than? Seems like a waste ot time

[WhitneySnow]

Sure, but they both have to overcome their fear

[msc545]

I think that is very doubtful.

[MoonElena]

How? What is your perspective?

[Pterodon]

No such thing. When Mr or Miss Right. comes along all those fears magically disappear

[ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅɪsʟᴀᴍɪᴡᴏʀsʜɪᴘ]

If they love each other, then yes.

[Anonymous]

Is the moon made of cheese?

[MoonElena]

I think so, yeah

[lightbulb27]

Sure, if they are willing to do the work.

[MikeMcMansion]

150 years ago, yeah

[Anonymous]

Probably not.

[Kingofkings1992]

Nothing is impossible, but it's not likely