Are you scared to commit to relationships?

[Icecreamsandy]

[HighlyVolatile]

I was a bit at least early on but I'm married now. I always had the feeling that we can't ever really know what someone is really like -- or even how we're really like together -- until we've gone through the widest range of experiences including hardships. So I was allergic to committing until we did and passed with flying colors.

[HighlyVolatile]

Once we did though, then I was ready to commit my whole life with them. I just wanted to make sure we're really, really compatible.

[HighlyVolatile]

I should clarify by commit though that I fundamentally mean marriage. I was always committed to relationships from the very start if we were talking about being exclusive, and I only dated monogamously. Yet I was a little bit scared that I might pick the wrong one for marriage, even though marriage was my ultimate goal.

[Anonymous]

Scared? No, but the risk analysis just doesn’t add up.


What does a guy actually get out of a relationship? Less sex, more responsibility, the need to work harder jobs and longer hours, less time and money for their hobby’s and enjoyment and 80% of divorces are initiated by women who usually get custody and at least half of what he’s worked for.


I’m all for equality, but we actually need real equality under the law and in divorce court. Because right now guys are looking at all their divorced friends or miserably married friends and starting to think they were the smart ones.

[VanillaSalt]

This is everything I was going to say. This is how most men feel.

[Siren777]

Well yeahhh... I am.
It's a tough one. Risking it all only to not getting the same in return. I hate the process and all the stages. Like, why drag it and beat around the bush about the way you feel when you can be open and honest. Say what you want and mean what you say. No games and no shit. You get tired and annoyed and I have little patience for people who don't know what they want. I wouldn't stick around long enough to be played with.

[KatieB713]

Sometimes I'm a little weird about sharing space, but otherwise I love the idea of commitment. There is a level of security knowing you have someone there when you need emotional support or not very well one day.
Also, it is less stressful at times as you aren't worried about if the person likes you or stuff like that in the same way...
Plus I rather enjoy spoiling my partner when he has had a stressful day, so bonus :)

[VanillaSalt]

On the other hand the risk of commitment blowing your life apart when it ends.

[KatieB713]

@VanillaSalt this is the unfortunate risk... when you are committed and then they drop you or you break up there are a lot of pieces that need fixing or changing as they relied on the other person (had that one before :/ )

[VanillaSalt]

For a relationship Ide risk it with limitations but… it’s specifically for this reason I won’t get married. People just don’t understand the meaning of commitment anymore..

[VanillaSalt]

Divorce for a woman’s heartbreaking but divorce for a man’s much worse. Especially if he owns a home, has any form of retirement, has kids…

[KatieB713]

@VanillaSalt you do know the house/ Finance thing goes both ways XD
But in all honesty, I still like the idea of being with something that gives life a consistency... the last few years have been crap, but having someone there through it all has made it easier... I can't what to by my partner's wife, being able to come home to him every day, waking up and falling asleep with him... having someone I know cares for me and I am excited to see...
I know how the world has changed and many don't do commitments, but I'm sure I have managed to find a unicorn in this crap world and I'm holding onto him

[VanillaSalt]

I envy you. In a world where people care about you to the same degree as a Facebook birthday message you have someone that does care.

I used to have this hope for society. Now however I’ve confirmed more then ever. Nobody really cares about us. You see women raped in daylight and nobody helps, old men beaten in the streets and security hides, businesses burning and police watch… hell even religious people whom say “I’ll pray for you”. How many times do you think you come across their minds?

Dark truth of the world is we are all alone until we’re not.

Seeing just how alone and uncared for I am has left me uncaring to others myself. I used to care deeply for others and their problems trying to help people. These days… it’s dangerous to get involved and people only want what helps them. It’s rarely if ever about you.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

Nope. Not one bit. I always strive to be in committed relationships.

[AmandaYVR]

No, not at all. In fact I've always been the complete opposite. I relish intimacy.

[laurieluvsit]

Gun shy and picky are the two words that apply to me.

Gun shy due to prior heart break

Picky, well that one is self explanatory :)

[Jamie05rhs]

Same here.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I'm even scared of dating, let alone relationships.
I catch feelings hard and fast. I hate being lied to, replaced and used which is so common in today's generation.
I will rather work on something else than waste my time with unpredictable people.

[DarkWinterNights]

My sister and my friend were the perfect loving and happy couple and even they got divorced. That was a pretty tough black pill to swallow for me.

[Valso]

Yes, for nearly 15 years now. In a relationship there's always someone hurt and in my case that's always me, so I started skipping the BS and ask women whether they wanna have sex. If she says "yes", we do it occasionally without the complications of a relationship. If she says "no", I move on to the next.

[VanillaSalt]

Lmao some holier than thou bitch downvoted you for asking women if they wanna have sex… ah women.

[muscularbumblebee]

A little yeah. I’m always scared I’m going to have to sacrifice my freedom/ priorities to make time for them in some sort of way and so commitment kind of scares me. But I think that’s relationships in general. I don’t like casual or hookups.

[ohshee]

I know that is one of the best parts about being in a relationship because that's when you know who you are and what you really want and when you can be honest about that that is a very beautiful thing

[Nagahime]

Yes. It's because I know that relationships are just temporary and don't last long anyway. I just feel like it's such a waste of time to commit to people only to be disappointed at the end.

[Justneedtokno]

Yes, I do not wanna get hurt. And you hear so many stories about somebody cheating or not being able to be honest or has anger issues or some type of problem. Not knowing who’s the right one. Not having feelings for a person right or attraction.

[Ian69]

No, lm not scared at all. I just want to find someone to have a relationship with so I can commit to it.

[magiusX26]

after all my past. a little bit. hopefully by the time it becomes an actual relationship will have enough reassurances that it wint turn into more of the same that ut won't be an issue

[TickleMe4ForFun]

Why settle for eating the same sandwich EVERY DAY for the REST OF YOUR LIFE?

Life is about variety. So, why commit to just one person, and give up all the other options you haven't experienced yet?

[KolonKby]

Nah, finding relationships is the hard part for me lmao

[Slartybartfast]

You should be, only people who don't take relationships seriously are easy about it.

[Jamie05rhs]

I do see what you're saying there. But I don't think people should allow reasonable caution to evolve into outright fear.

[VanillaSalt]

If you had a choice between net or no bet… with the bet being 50/50 odds of losing half your retirement and home… would you take it?

[Jamie05rhs]

@VanillaSalt You think that no good woman exists. (And I respect that belief, and I don't blame you for it.). But I do. I'm cynical, but I'm not THAT cynical. ... yet.

[VanillaSalt]

Hey fuck you don’t put words into my mouth… I just think with what one bad one can do none of them are worth the risk lol

[Jamie05rhs]

@VanillaSalt It's okay, man. I understand.

[VanillaSalt]

Don’t patronize me jackass lol

[yug_a_tsuj]

I am terrible at it.. I commit before they even know about me 🤷‍♂️😭🤣

[exitseven]

I sort of had the opposite problem. I wanted to commit to somebody after a couple of weeks.

[Uptowngirl88]

Yeah , it's the thought of having to answer to someone and share my space

[Luopio27]

No but woulld be if she got pregnant. So many parents devorce.

[Anonymous]

I would love to be in a committed relationship, but you do have to be scared you will get cheated on, or it might end one day, that's what happened to me more than once.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's a scary thing. But it doesn't give a person the right to keep someone on a yo-yo.
Love, intimacy and companionship require bravery.

[Alexis_1996]

No most are scared to commit to with me do to me being a flight attendant.

[beingsmudgy]

Just scared of being left over

[PrettyPriya]

Nope, not at all. I am engaged.

[MrtoddsWildRide]

After what my last one did to me? Damn right I am.

[VanillaSalt]

Who hurt you ;)

[MrtoddsWildRide]

@VanillaSalt
That would be the ex wife

[VanillaSalt]

Lol women are dangerous. I refuse to get married for that reason. Gotta be careful with cohabitation as well.

[VanillaSalt]

For kids I’ll risk child support though. No way around that.

[RebeccaBI2000]

Nope. It will just take time

[TerryBlaise]

Nope provided I can handle the person.

[Jay3344]

I think I am initially but with trust it goes away

[driven159]

most people are now the way things are now

[pretty_bad]

I never was but rn I am

[Juliette1994]

No I’m in one for 5 years. Getting married in May.

[bamesjond0069]

Yes thats why i have very high standards.

[FearlessHero7]

No I'm ready to jump in balls deep

[Jamie05rhs]

I'm not!

[TheSpaceGnome]

Nope.

[AndrésC64]

Nope.

[crmoore]

Not in the slightest

[Iron_Man]

No of course not

[jahaims]

Nope

[HeartFullOfGlue]

Yeah

[elizsaeli]

No, I’m not

[R0semary]

No I’m not.