Are you afraid of having a relationship?

[red-lipstick-girl]

I have many fears, the first of which is being abandoned after the relationship, or being cheated on later, or getting pregnant. Yes, there are many protection methods, but these options are constantly spinning in my head.

Updates

9 mo

What I'm saying is, are you afraid of sex?

Updates

9 mo

Best question selected thanks GAG🥰

[BobbieBoy666]

No, I'm not it's just people like women and girls are afraid of me because I was born a little different. I was born with cerebral palsy on my right side,

And I can walk without assistance and work eight hours plus I can drive a car

The fear of falling in love has many potential causes, including Past experiences. Traumatic past relationships may contribute to the development of the fear of falling in love. Infidelity, betrayal, or heartbreak can cause you to stay away from romantic relationships.

Cerebral Palsy
Definition:
Cerebral palsy (CP) is a group of non-progressive neurological disorders that affect movement, posture, and balance. It is caused by damage to the developing brain, typically before or during birth.
Causes:
Brain injury during pregnancy or childbirth (e. g., lack of oxygen, premature birth, infection)
Genetic disorders
Head trauma
Stroke
Types:
Spastic: Stiff and tight muscles
Dyskinetic: Involuntary, writhing movements
Ataxic: Poor coordination and balance
Hypotonic: Floppy muscles
Mixed: Combination of different types
Symptoms:
Delayed motor milestones (e. g., crawling, walking)
Stiff or floppy muscles
Involuntary movements
Difficulty with balance and coordination
Problems with speech, hearing, or vision
Diagnosis:
Physical exam
Neurological evaluation
Imaging tests (e. g., MRI)
Treatment:
Physical therapy
Occupational therapy
Speech therapy
Medications (e. g., muscle relaxants)
Surgery (in some cases)
Prognosis:
CP is a lifelong condition, but the severity and symptoms can vary widely. With early intervention and ongoing support, individuals with CP can live full and active lives.
Additional Information:
CP is the most common motor disability in childhood.
The risk of developing CP is higher in premature babies and those born with low birth weight.
There is no cure for CP, but treatments can help improve mobility, function, and quality of life.

[MrOracle]

It's understandable to have some apprehension, but much of that can be dispelled by doing a good job with your vetting process - something few people do anymore and not many even talk about, though it used to be something that was both taught and widely practiced, you know, back when relationships used to last.

Most people today (men and women alike) pick relationship partners based on very shallow, surface-level criteria - their looks, their status, their passion, their wealth, or their danger. That's an excellent way of picking a partner who you could never last in a relationship with, and as should be no surprise, most people's relationships don't last today.

What REALLY matters long-term? What factors determine whether a relationship can survive over time, with all of the stuff that life throws at you? The things that really matter are their morals, values, and life-goals. If these things aren't in alignment with yours, the relationship won't be sustainable. But most people either have a very limited and shallow vetting process or they don't vet potential partners at all, so it's hardly any surprise that they can't keep relationships together. The point of having a vetting process is to make sure there are no surprises.

For example: does "Bob" want kids, and does he want them with you, and does he want them right away? If you knew his answers were "yes", then getting pregnant wouldn't be nearly as scary. If you knew the answers were "no", then you could re-think having sex with him, or being with him at all. But if you haven't even asked, and you're "just guessing", then if you get pregnant, now you have tremendous pressure and uncertainty that could have been avoided had you vetted him.

The other problem is that people will vet a partner that they're really attracted to, and when that vetting exposes serious red flags, they ignore the red flags because they don't want to end a relationship with someone they find so attractive. But that completely defeats the purpose of the vetting process in the first place.

[fartingspinster]

I absolutely love this answer
You are so right... the vetting process is no longer a thing in the dating culture. Quite frustrating really... I go on a first date and want to get to know someone. After the first date they want to be jn a relationship and get angry/upset when I decline.

I miss when dating culture was just dating and experiencing people. Why has our generation made it a race to be paired up? What are we so afraid of?

[MrOracle]

@fartingspinster It was Feminism, taking hold in the Boomer generation, quickly followed by the Sexual Revolution, that destroyed dating and relationships and most especially marriage. Feminism taught women to become men and embrace male goals and values, and to abandon femininity and womanhood. It especially taught women that if they MUST be in a relationship, they were to deny men any and all benefits of being in the relationship - they were ENTITLED to take take take but were to give nothing back. Of course, they weren't going to get ANYTHING, even just attention, without at least the hope of sex, so women were taught to embrace casual sex just like men. And here we are.

Feminism has so thoroughly infiltrated society that people have adopted Feminist ideals without even realizing it, and they're pushed by almost everyone, and especially by the media. It's not your fault that you grew up in this environment, but if you want a successful relationship, you first have to completely reject that (and understand the power you are fighting against), THEN you have to find a man who has done the same. Unfortunately, you'll be looking for the exception rather than the rule, because even most men grew up with Feminist ideals. Many grew up with single mothers, but even those with a father figure usually had a father figure that had been indoctrinated by Feminism. Thus, it's not super easy to find a man who shares your values - but it CAN be done. Just expect it to take more work than your friends are used to.

[PeachyPie93]

Nah.. I never think that far into the future when I like someone I just want to date them, fall in love and have sex. I don't worry about the unimportant things.. I wouldn't have a kid by a guy who wouldn't marry me tho. And I have never been on birth control so wear condoms and take a Plan B pill if you fuck up.. it's not that scary.. tho $50 dollars a pill is somewhat annoying but way cheaper than a kid lol.

[DishLady]

Afraid of a relationship? No. Wondering what traumas you're saying "yes" to when you accept someone into your life who you don't know very well? That's scary.

[ohsheeT]

No I love relationships when I can find the right person.. and no not afraid of sex.
I absolutely love sex and making it all about the girl I'm with.. when you can become one with someone it is the most beautiful thing you will ever feel. . And please someone to the point you make her become out of control. And intense is a beautiful thing

[Finchie40]

No not afraid , just trying to be wiser this time around and play my cards better.

[LONERLONLEY666]

Iv been spinning with am i good enough, (have a nice car, money in the bank account a morgage iv been paying for years, likley better off than most guys) but my fears lie with inexperience and judgment, (how to touch and be affectionate how to kiss, how to have sex, do i have enough friends, do i work too much and get home too late, how do i approach) a lot of guys respect me, i get told im confident, people come to me for opinions, well respected, get asked all the time why i dont have a girlfriend ( if i awnsered them honestly i would say im scared ) but this tends to be the one and only thing i lie to people about, as i get older i feel like the hole gets deeper and deeper to climb out of, most my friends all have wifes and kids by now and i can't help feel the overwhelming feeling of failure in this department and disconnection making it harder to make the first steps with starting and finding a relationship and self doubt, all the people in my life truly dont know how lonely i am or feel, they would never guess this. Its interesting and (i feel like its quite common to have fear of rejection and starting somthing that will or might fail) some (like me) just take what people think about them i little or a lot more serious than others and think about these things more, it might just be the better idea to let all those thoughts go and enjoy the ride, take it from me, a person who hasn't been able to do that, and has caused them great harm mentally and a great deal of unhappiness

[OneViewpoint]

I'm in a completely different boat. First of all I'm male. Second, I'm a lot older. So no, I'm not "afraid" of getting into a relationship. It's just that I've been married and divorced. I've experienced what dating is like in my 50's. And right now I enjoy the freedom of being single. I go where I want. When I want. With who I want. And do what I want. There's no one to answer to about where I am or what I'm doing. There's no one demanding I return a text immediately.

Oh sure, I'll date occasionally. There's sex occasionally. But on the whole I've just gotten tired of all the bullshit that comes with other people. I'm very careful about who I choose to interact with and who I allow around me these days.

Could a relationship happen? Sure. But I will go slow and make it a long process of evaluating the other person before I go down that road.

[Purpleronnie]

I think it’s normal to have these thoughts , better than throwing caution to the wind !

How many aspects of life are actually guaranteed? How much can you actually count on? … what are life’s certainties?


I understand the fears or perhaps mild anxiety anyone may have about having a relationship , a new relationship / sex , but assuming they are both something you want then … what’s the alternative? … you may avoid any issue pursuant from them but you also remove the positives


Nobody can promise you perfection first time or ever but a ‘good’ relationship is worth the journey

[orange_roach]

My anxiety isn’t mild. It’s so bad that I go into tears and my heart beats really fast.
Of course I’m not looking for perfection but I’m just really comfortable being single. I’m more at peace when I’m by myself.

[Purpleronnie]

Ok … but I was offering my opinion to red-lipstick-girl because of her question

[Red_Arrow]

I can't imagine being afraid of a relationship. What I was much younger I had various relationships. Some were just dating with no sex, then later sex began being a part of it. In those relationships the gal was on the pill or I wore a condom. I still have very fond memories of some of those relationships, and would love to see some of them now, just as old friends. Then a bit older, I met the woman that I was going to marry, and we both knew it right off. So definitely not afraid of relationships.

[Lliam]

No. I got into my first relationship when I was 16. It was a dream come true to finally see and feel a real, live nude woman and learn about sexuality.

I had several more long-term, monogamous relationships in my life before I finally got married. I wasn't afraid at all. The ecstasy was well worth the possibility of heartbreak.

Unless you take chances and go for broke, life is hardly worth living. Life is an adventure.

And all my partners were on the pill, so I wasn't worried about accidental pregnancy.

[lightbulb27]

I used to have them bad and it's the best approach to never having a relationship.

I don't have them now. It takes some work to deal with your fears.

One way to deal with the fear of skydiving is to get pushed out of the plane and deal with the consequences.

[IslaTheWitch]

nope... relationships are intense and fun... :D

and there are plenty of methods to make yourself safe in any aspect... :D

[NicholasRedone]

Yes because I've left it too late now at 30 going on 31.

I also am a anxious perfectionist and I feel like I'd rather not rush what could've been in my ideal mind. You know? Like why do a rush job of having a girlfriend, when I could've in my 20s, and I could have had all these other things already you know, car, place, more money, travel, able to enjoy sightseeing with her. And yes, pregnancy and STDs do worry me even with protections, also.

[glennos89]

I'm not afraid of getting a relationship. Ofcourse it can go totally different then I want but no risk no reward so I'm taking my chances.

I do find it scary to have sex with someone for the first time and I really need my time to feel comfortable enough

[Guapo_28]

I had sex with my girlfriend many times and we were extremely careful and when we realized we couldn't get along anymore, we broke up.
The decision to have sex with your lover is not one to be taken lightly, it needs to be carefully considered.

[LiamJHayden]

No. And I am congenitally sterile so the only concern is that she will want babies and I can't give them to her.

[orange_roach]

That’s where communication comes in.

[red-lipstick-girl]

I've always wondered if infertile men have semen.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Do you squirt anything after intercourse?

[LiamJHayden]

Yes.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

I used to be I've been cheated on verbally abused and had a man lose his shit if I didn't sleep with him but now I'm married and trying for a baby with the love of my life

[HungTexan]

I’m not afraid of a relationship or sex. I love both. The more sex the better. My wife kids me about being addicted to sex, and I just tell her I’m addicted to great sex with her!

[orange_roach]

Honestly, yes. I’m really comfortable being single that the thought of being with someone spikes my anxiety.
I, too, am afraid of getting pregnant. You’re right, there are methods but they don’t all 100% work.

[Friendlybro79]

No. You can control some of the things you're concerned about and if you live life with this much fear you're not going to enjoy your life. Heartache is sometimes inevitable. It's better than missing love altogether. Good luck.

[KostasKouvalis]

Not so much having a relationship, but having it potentially go south and feeling I won't meet her expectations. Ideally I would want to get into a relationship with someone I am already very close with

[KostasKouvalis]

Oh, you're talking about sex. I'm more afraid of catching a disease, getting a girl pregnant or ruining my chances with my crush

[knottyguy]

Every new potential relationship brings new fear especially with the many other bad relationships that you may have experienced. I myself am not afraid of a new relationship, but excited to see where it could lead. I feel you never know till you get there... take a chance

[Matadorius]

Well I'm not in a relationship right now, but I am neither afraid nor shy away from being in a relationship. Getting to know and building a trust between her and me is like a journey, not an ultimate goal in my life. That's why I don't force myself to be in a relationship with a girl who won't make me feel happy and peaceful.

[Ms_Facesitter]

I am afraid of getting betrayed. Or things just turning ugly in general

[Shiprex]

NO I prefer them although single life isn't that bad.
For women it's probably not that bad because they CAN find a partner for intimacy much more readily than guys BUT the implications may not be as positive for all women

[Kelley1]

It is not that you fear having a relationship, you fear that a relationship you want to continue may go south.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Yes, I feel sad when my efforts go to waste.

[Alex-Snow]

Not really but I am in college and have a very casual friends with benefits and for now that is all I want

[Alex-Snow]

Am I afraid of sex... not a chance

[NicholasRedone]

@Alex-Snow she's quite the looker 👀 of a woman I'm sure lol your friend ; wink

[NicholasRedone]

@Alex-Snow does your friends with benefits often bring up condoms plus BC plus Lube (the last one probably not lol) lol 😆😆😆😆 slippery dip lol 😂 🌊🌊🌊

[NicholasRedone]

Do you think I'm actually 30 years old or does my face or body pass for 20 / 25 even? Lol or hell, 18 me 😂😆

[Alex-Snow]

@NicholasRedone My friends with benefits is on BC. We agreed that if either of us has sex with someone else while still seeing each other we would always use a condom. We do use lube at times it makes the sex even better or if she just gives me a handjob it feels better with lube

[NicholasRedone]

@Alex-Snow awws ♥️ I like and respect that and I like how you two mutually respect each other, care for each other. I appreciate a "friends with benefits" isn't supposed to be like a lover however - do you find there's genuine uhhh cuddles there, genuine feelings in bed when you're just enjoying each other's hugs, before or after the fun, lol? Just lying there 👀🛏️ you know what I mean? Awww 😏😘

[Anonymous]

If by relationship, you mean marriage, then yes I am afraid. And by marriage, I mean divorce, because sadly they go hand in had today. Marriage has become a very hazardous thing for men, and the rewards of marriage for men have diminished substantially over the last few decades. The alternative has become much more attractive.

[Anonymous]

I'm not afraid of having it, I just can't have it :(

[Opinion Owner]

I never had sex either.

[red-lipstick-girl]

I had sex before I was an adult but I don't anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

You decided you don't want to have it anymore?

[red-lipstick-girl]

Yes, because it was characterless, I left it

[Opinion Owner]

I see, you are waiting for someone special?

[MoonFace2]

Not anymore. I was, for a while, until I met a kind and patient man who broke down my walls.

[NathanDavis]

nope, neither...

had a few girlfriends before... lol

[Anonymous]

I am unwilling to take yet another chance with this given the legal and financial risks

[red-lipstick-girl]

I don't understand, you spent my money on a girl.

[Opinion Owner]

wait - I spent your money?

[red-lipstick-girl]

No, I meant your money.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, so? I don't plan to do it again.

[Anonymous]

I’m afraid of a woman making my life a living hell, yes.

[dudeinohio]

It's important to really make sure the person you get involved with has the proper values...

[Tstrbrainer]

Afraid of relationship? I dunno.
Afraid of sex? Heck no 😅.

Your reasons sounds like you are not afraid of sex, but a bad relationship

[Berethor]

Why you afraid of getting pregnant, didn't having children is a good thing?

[Ladsin2]

I think you don't take relationships seriously if you're not afraid of them.

[shortster]

Nope, I am afraid of being single for the rest of my life and never having kids.

[princeofromance]

No, I am waiting for the right woman to come along.

[Professor-college]

No I'm not afraid to have in a relationship it's just a matter of being patient and mature enough to find what you're looking for

[deniz_9]

noo i feel you cuz same here :(

[red-lipstick-girl]

Are you Turkish because your profile photo belongs to a Turkish cartoon?

[deniz_9]

yessss :)

[deniz_9]

abd guneyde. sen?

[deniz_9]

olsun knk🫶 gonlunce olsun gelecekte

[trumpfan17]

I am, more 'cause I'm afraid I'll mess things up and wreck the life of a poor young lady.

[Mikeynlade]

Not really. I'll be worried if I can't find someone by the time I'm 35

[Anonymous]

Yes. But only because I know the quality of women that are out there anymore.

[ProbablyClueless]

Nope. I'm not afraid of having a relationship at all.

[Joshydavid25]

Nah, neither a relationship or sex.. I'm ready.. LOL..

[Elena85]

No not really if the right woman comes along we be fine.

[Uglygaypoorcoward94]

Im in a pickle. I want sex wo the relationship but im not enough to get sex wo a relationship

[LiamS95]

You think and over think far too much instead of living life as it happens.

[nawtee_me]

Not from sex but from catching something I won’t be able to get rid of….

[chocolatetwopointo]

yes, like what if he kills me?

[chocolatetwopointo]

and yes im scared of sex, i dont want kids so why have sex?

[red-lipstick-girl]

Sex is done for pleasure, not just for children.

[chocolatetwopointo]

yeah and if i get pregnant? not gna be any pleasure for long, no protection is 100% safe

[red-lipstick-girl]

I agree with that that's why I don't have sex

[chocolatetwopointo]

exactly

[Anonymous]

Being afraid of a relationship sounds different to being afraid is sex

I mean the second one is possible

But once I started having sex, it was all good 🙂

[Anonymous]

Afraid no

Disinterested in a relationship and knowing the coital act would probably kill me

[lilBigPotato]

Nope not really something I worry about

[Schwoobie]

I have more of a problem with being shy at first and not really good with the small talk

[Amur8711]

I am afraid of a relationship and sexy just because I'm not very experienced at all with them.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Yes I am, because of multiple reasons.

[Jennz6]

Not afraid of sex, but a relationship yes

[Ironco]

Learn to let that go, live a little...

[RedThread]

I'm not afraid of relationships or sex.

[Grond21]

Sex is very vulnerable, but I am mostly excited

[Anonymous]

If the relationship is good then no

[Iamcoming]

Nope. I never afraid.

[Iamcoming]

You looking interesting on the Pp 😂😂