Do you fear being in a committed relationship?

[Wowgirl30q]

#wowgirl30q #wowgirlrocks

[Cynicaldreamer]

I do actually. Not because I am unable to commit, oh no. If anything I'm afraid of putting myself out there, trying to commit to someone, only for him to leave me, decide he doesn't feel the same way, or get hurt again.

When you commit to someone, you're basically giving yourself to them, heart and all. So you leave yourself completely vulnerable. Which is one of the few downfalls of a committed relationship: if it's the wrong person, you will wind up hurt and not willing to commit again, or at least wary towards doing so.

[Rapidash]

I’m not scared of commitment but rather it failing...

[coachTanthony]

Well there is "Fear" and then there is "preference."

Most guys who fear it probably would love too but don't know how to go about it.

And the guy who simply just prefers "not" to get into a committed relationship probably could if they really wanted too.

So myself I prefer not to get into a committed relationship at the moment. I don't like to be tied down and could do some extensive traveling here soon. And no I don't want a travel partner lol

[coachTanthony]

Thanks for the MHO!

[Dchrls78104]

Yes; I fear being the only committed one in the relationship.

[razelove]

Nope, I love relationships, granted they're poly, I would fear being chained to one person, that's horrifying, I wouldn't do that to anyone else. Why is monogamy so important? Because disney says so and it worked out so great for mom and dad, whose moms and dads invented swinging, before the birth control I might add.

[SydneySentinel]

I did. In my last one. I feared that I wouldn't do things right or that I wasn't enough.

Beautiful picture, doll.

[Wowgirl30q]

Thanks my love

[Desconhecida]

Not really. What I'm afraid of is to keep attracting the wrong type of guy to be in these relationships

[nightdrot]

Well, I had better not.

My girlfriend and I have lived together for over a decade and have three children. They are the center of my universe. I could not imagine a day without them.

To be sure, along the way, there were moments when I was skittish. Indeed, I had been badly hurt - and I mean badly - by a woman. (She aborted our baby without telling me.) After that, for a long time, I careened from being with any woman who would have sex with me to wanting nothing to do with women and then back again.

It was like a bad movie. Seriously, it may sound melodramatic to say so, but I sobbed. To this day, even after all the happiness that I have since had in my life, I still think of my little baby and I want desperately to say how much I love him/her and how sorry I am that I failed to protect him/her.

Yet one day this really attractive - I might even say "hot" - gal attended a business reception. We chatted amiably and exchanged business cards, but I stayed away. Then she started dropping by the office to give me information - we both work in politics - that she could have easily e-mailed to me. She invited me to business lunches - then dinners. First, in groups, then just us.

Then one day, dense as I am, it hit me. I kinda liked this gal and she seemed to like me. So I asked her out and, as I say, over a decade later we have lived together and she has given me the three most beautiful little gifts that a woman can give a man. Gifts who get all excited when I get home and run up and shout, "DADDY!!"

Yup, life is good. Oh, and by the way, we are not married for lack of commitment, but because we love what we share. It is natural and beautiful and although we are actually normally quite traditional, there was something about marriage - an expensive ring, a big ceremony, a permission slip from the state (the religious aspect, honestly, we have not fully worked out in our own minds) - that turned us off. Really to our own mutual surprise.

All I know is that my life would be empty without my girlfriend. I need to feel her next to me when I wake up. I need to see her smile and roll her eyes when I get on my high horse - as I do a lot. I need to see her with our children being a loving and caring mom with infinite patience. I need to hold her in my arms.

If that is a committed relationship, then not only do I not fear it. I need it. My life would be so much less without it.

[TheLawAroundHere]

When i was single. I was very single. After i was able to walk around in public ( i took my ex leaving me soooo hard ), my buddy and i started plowing through the female population of southwest Pennsylvania. It was fun for a while. Then one day... it wasn't. In a sheer stroke of dumb fuckin' luck, i met my wife. I moved in w her after 5 months. Married in just over a year.

After my ex decided that she wanted to be a ditch for cum, almost everyrhing i believed in was gone. If i woulda met my wife 4-6 weeks before i did... we would have hooked up, then just walked away.

Go back to the dumb luck statement.

With my wife, i never hesitated. Not once. Ita been almost 10 years. And i have yet to be let down by this woman.

With my ex, every day was a fight of some sort. And i lived in fear of the ground disappearing under my feet.

With my wife, i feel happy, content, loved, and safe.

When you have a good partner, a long term relationship is nothing to fear.

[sagevalentineee]

I think I am a bit afraid of commitment. I am very sensitive (I usually cry when I watch the morning news) and it can lead to me being very cold towards other people. I find it very hard to be the authentic me in front of others, so I can only connect to people on a superficial level. I found that a lot of men I went on dates with, even if I thought I was interested, I would find myself mindlessly flirting with other men, because I felt nothing. I obviously know that it was wrong and I shouldn't take advantage of people.

The only guys things work out with are people who are very assertive, and not afraid to push me a bit, because I find it hard to be real.

[David92506]

I have been writing to a female prisoner for over 2-years and she is getting out in a few months. She is going into a half-way house in my city and wants to have a committed relationship with me. She is in prison for drug charges (dealing, stealing and addiction). She claims to have been clean for 6-years (the whole time she has been in prison.)

I fear of being in a committed relationship with her because what if she decided to get back into drugs? What if we had a huge argument so she robs me and leaves?

[FatherJack]

Don't do it !! She is looking for a man to use and sounds like she is unstable. I would break off contact right now , a disaster waiting to happen

[broken_heart_at_48]

If I was younger I'd be single and have a handful of girls that I would get with. While being honest with all of them, but at my age I'm not looking to run around with a bunch of different women. Actually I'm not in a big hurry to be in a relationship. I would prefer to take it slow and get to know just one special woman because if I love you I love you with with everything I have and when it doesn't work out after almost 28 years ( give or take a little) it makes you gun shy, but then again when I met my wife it was truly love at first site. Mind you I had like 7 girls I was messing with when I met my wife and they all knew or knew of each other. So I wasn't the fall in love type but it hit me like a bolt of lightning. So it could strike twice and boom I'm in a committed relationship. So whatever happens, happens. I just hope I don't go through the pain of that love being taken from you

[skeetskeetskeet]

I've never feared it... its not something i feel obligated to do either... if we have bomb sex and she's cool to hang out with the relationship just sort of happens because were always together... I love all that romance bs that goes with new love... but it gets old pretty quickly... its a certain kind of girl that can keep my interest past a few months.. I've only found a couple in my life that just hit all the right buttons.. sexy coupled with a little A. D. D and just a bit of criminal is my thing... throw in a touch of jealousy so i know she loves me and I'm all in

[Lliam]

I did for years. I didn't want to get married or have kids. It wasn't until I was in my mid-30s that I finally started thinking that it would be nice to settle down. At that point, I went through a couple more girlfriends before finding the one I wanted to marry. I met her when I was 40. We married two years later. I made a really good choice.

[Porcelaine]

Good for you. You two still together?

[Lliam]

@Porcelaine. 23 years now. We've built a great life together.

[namino]

I always feel afraid to committed in relationship because i fear to feel hurt from the lover i choose. I fear about cheating.

Fear about sadness leaving and fail and then relationship will be end.

Im not ready to settle into relationship.

It's hard to be ready to commit in relationship because i always feel afraid and insecure.

I think i feel alright to stay single that is the best way to feel safe espeacially my feelings.

[MissDawn7961]

in a way yes but I think this fear is a normal feeling too ! for being in a committed relationship can be a demanding thing in all ways ! like marriage is ! does my husband want me to work and then go home and -prepare the meals , do the laundry and do all the housework too? this is not possible for me to do all the house work and work out side of the house too ! so the married couple needs to decide if both should work and both do half of the house work too or what ! Thanks

[humanearth]

Almost, I had a fear of being fucked over a second time. My 1st wife destroyed and fuck me over so bad. That I came so close to being homeless.

Thank god. I found my second wife. She got me to love again.

I still have trust issues over money. I don't think that will never going away.

[tul88]

I’m sorry to hear what happened but glad that you found someone who taught you to trust again in love. If you don’t mind me asking, could you please tell me what qualities in her made you fall in love again?

[soleil2666]

Not one bit,
I fear being either not in love (which then lacks the magic) - or being in love and in a relationship with a person who wouldn't understand my societal (formal and informal) obligations - and who would throw a tantrum/want to wreck it for me because she'd want my attention as proof of love (instead of feeling she is)

[FatherJack]

Yes , but not really fear , more dislike being trapped and will never endure that again , the marriage I ended took it's toll and will be staying totally single for the rest of my life. I do not even want to date , women as arms length platonic friends only

[KeziL]

I think I secretly fear it. I try not to and I really do want a committed relationship so I hope I don’t, but every time I catch myself overthinking and pushing someone away, I wonder if I’m just afraid to let it go farther and be something real.

[Sensmind]

I have fears but in a way I call them good/healthy fears - If/When I am in a committed relationship I know I go all in the con if it goes south it hurts so bad, the pro if the other person feels the same way it is amazing.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

The only thing i fear is the Woman not wanting to be committed and breaking up with me with no clue maybe after 6 months to year , i believe this day and age we all got be careful who we choose to date and go in a relationship with.

[Guy1467]

I don't fear commitment because I'm very loyal.
I do fear trusting because I've been cheated and I watch lots of amateur porn about cheating women.
It keeps me from going down that path again.

[silentkiller_boy]

Everyone is afraid because they never know what might happen. They always fear of being turned down or their relationship getting dull they have all these thought so they try to be careful which leads to them becoming more and more distant from loved ones 😔 so yes being in a committed relationship is scary but no matter what happens you have to stay there for your partner make sure their loved protect them with your heart, mind, and soul never doubt of who they can be

[Hamsteroids]

Nope. Being in a committed relationship is all I ever wanted. I finally have that now and I’m happier than I’ve ever been! So for me, I don’t fear it; I dreamed of it

[SueAnon84]

No, why should I be scared of it? ! If you love the person you're usually GLAD to only be each other's! What a weird question honestly. What's to be scared about seriously? ! ? Doesn't make sense.

[Jjpayne]

Part of me does because you are sacrificing your life choices and sharing them now with another. If it's not a good fit, you can feel trapped but I know that I want a committed relationship

[NorthShoreCalling]

Too soon yeah because it’s too much pressure with the other persons expectations. I think things should be taken slow (with exclusivity) so it feels light, natural and fun as well as secure.

[Incredibro]

I don't fear it. I just can't stand the idea of relationships. I've been in a lot but got out of it jury Because I just enjoy being alone than being in a relationship.

[vintagegirl90]

No I don’t I got pass the stage of fear when I was in my early 20s and studying at uni. Now, I’ve got no problem with it, I welcome it with open arms.

[Pete671]

Yes, I own my house outright, if the relationship broke down I might be liable to give up half of it's value, so I'll never get married for that reason,,,

[Duckysback]

Not fear, no. Just disinterest. The advantages of a relationship don’t often outweigh the disadvantages of one.

[DevilsAngel117790]

No, I fear the other person fearing commitment and breaking it off just as I'm falling in love

[NikolasGLT]

That's a great question to ask a girl you're dating. Because I definitely am 200%, for me the important thing is to get a "yes" from her. :)

[Juxtapose]

Nah, I know who to place my trust in. I choose my loved ones quite well.

[menina]

I'm not afraid at all. In fact, that's what I want but it's not possible.

[Elliegirl]

I don’t fear it. I’m in a committed relationship and love it!

[crazy8000]

Nope.

No need for people with selfish and delusional behavior that are one sided (she is always right even when she is wrong) (happy wife happy life)

[jessture]

It's not that I fear it, it's more the lack of desire to put myself in a situation where my feelings don't matter at the expense of tending to her feelings constantly.

[Porcelaine]

Thats not a fear of a relationship, that's a fear of giving a lot and getting nothing in return

[jessture]

... which is what happens to men in relationships

[Porcelaine]

Happens to women more often, they are nurturing by nature

[jessture]

Lmao that your only responses to me are to gaslight and tell me I'm wrong.

When women do that it tells me I'm right.

[Porcelaine]

Gaslight? If you interpret a simple conversation with such extremely negative psychological terms I am not surprised if something small a woman does in a relationship automatically turns into something toxic from your perspective.

[jessture]

Your only response was to shrug your shoulders and dismiss everything I said... textbook gaslighting

[Porcelaine]

I did not dismiss anything, you did. Read your reply again and then read mine. You will see that I was not dismissing I was addressing what you said. Stop projecting your own gaslighting on me.

[jessture]

"Thats not a fear of a relationship, that's a fear of giving a lot and getting nothing in return"

"Happens to women more often, they are nurturing by nature"

You're telling me you didn't write that? Grow up.

[Porcelaine]

And look at what you wrote too, you are so quick to point out something wrong in my replies but do you do the same for yours? Cause they are far more negative. What I wrote is simply arguing. You offered an opinion and so did I. This is just normal conversation. The fact that you don't even read what I write and consider that your point of view might be wrong shows you are the narcissist and gaslight me without any insight in what I say, only the part where it was to counteract your argument. At least when I read your answers I consider what you write might be true or why you would see it this way. You just ignore and attack.

[jessture]

Do you have anything constructive to say about my original statement that isn't a deflection?

If you think this is 'normal conversation' you need to grow up.

[Porcelaine]

I've said plenty of constructive things I'm not gonna repeat them, you just knew they were true and did not want to admit it so you decided to change the subject and use fancy psychological terms to distract me from that

[jessture]

Lmao... right.

[Miristheiss]

I have always liked them.
How about you wowgirl, does someone have your heart?

[Nikki1989]

I am in a committed relationship already and I wouldn't want it any other way. 😃

[askuser]

No I do not. I fear the guy leaves me after being in a committed relationship and falling in love with him.

[Liam_Hayden]

No, but I still won't get married because of the financial disaster it would be if/when she changes her mind.

[red324]

I agree

[Pete671]

Perfectly said!

[red324]

I like how you said when SHE changes her mind. What if the guy changes his mind? I guess we are stuck with the decision since we're so deep in financially speaking.

[francesco_g]

I can commit alright but to fully trust never again, which is why I'm not getting married at least for now.

[tul88]

May I ask what caused your trust to go away.

[francesco_g]

@tul88 Honestly too many reasons, but the main one is I've been cheated before and also have dated and slept with girls who had boyfriends (in a couple of cases unknowingly). So being in both sides it's tough to ever have that trust 100%.

[tul88]

I understand now. Thank you. I hope someone walks in your life and gives you reasons to trust again forever

[jirwin7979]

i can say yes and no yes due to the pain i went through when my ex cheated on me.. yet i have never ever cheated on any girl i have been with only had 3 girlfrinds in my life

[licklicklick]

That what I wanted in my last relationship but! My x girlfriend had two many secretes she was hiding and I wanted to get married buy a home settle down. Then I found a photo of her and her fat 300 lb. Cousin having sex

[chilledtoachris]

Honestly, no, I don't. It's something I strive to achieve on every relationship. Relationships are for long term commitment. If you can't handle it, don't get in one. That's just a personal take though

[Ripper_E]

No I don't. It doesn't benefit me to think that way.

[JSmuve]

No. I fear being in a committed relationship with the wrong woman for me.

[iWonderiWander]

No. it's all good. I learn something from every relationship.

[Lexxii747]

Yes because throughout my life men try to use me as an object to release. Im a virgin and dont trust men tbh

[dylan_ray113]

Commitment shouldn't be feared but welcomed, if It goes bad and you get hurt then look back at the good times you had, don't be sad cuz it's over, be happy it happened

[davec2019]

No it's a dream gone right when u find the right one. I'm at the tail end of one of the best I ever had which is good and bad not sure if I will have that fear going Into the next one tho

[moststrangestguy]

Only girks do guys are happy as long as tjr girl hot or has a half decent personality

[DiscomfortZone]

If you and your partner are mature enough and worthy - there's no reason to be scared.

[Danny_dan92]

tbh? kind of, I've been burned by love too many times

[Daniel3035]

I do actually yeah I’m afraid I won’t like it or something.

[Texaskid1]

In this day and age a commited relathionship is the worst thing a man can have.

[Sneak-ee]

Yes, the feeling of no longer being free to talk to other people without being questioned or thought to have ulterior motives is scary.

[Silent_Eyes]

Yes, very much. Being vulnerable to anyone seems so crippling to me. I just don't trust anyone.

[Clayaya]

A little, but I’m also excited about getting into one

[ivancho1BG]

I think im the one pushing people away, because im the one wanting lifelong commitment.

[Slim57]

I have fear of falling in love with a cheater again

[warrior0345]

Nope I don’t but problem is it’s hard finding a girl who wants me