If a woman receives a post break-up marriage proposal, why is she still upset if it's still a proposal?

[FordRoger]

My friend just proposed to his ex girlfriend last week. She dumped him. Yet, she wasn't as thrilled as expected. However, she accepted his long apology and he practically pleaded that she said yes after what seemed like forever but on the condition of an extended engagement and no further talks about a wedding for the meantime. During the time, they will work on their issues that led to her breaking up and go to couple counseling together.

I understand if he just came back asking for another chance but no proposal. But he came back with a ring. Shouldn't women already be excited if they get a marriage proposal from their partner, even she breaks up or on the last moment? It's still a proposal. He's still bought the right, he's willing to now risk it all for her, he's doing what isn't benefiting him much and already giving her what she wants. Why would she still be upset about it? Many women dream (it benefits them after all) of that moment. She wanted that. She got it. Why would she still be upset?

Updates

1 y

This makes them complicated creatures. Just be happy he's already giving you what you wanted. You have it now.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

She knows it’s a “please don’t leave me alone” ring, which is emotionally equivalent to a “shut up” ring. These are marriage proposals made not because the man wants to get married but because he thinks marriage is the only solution. She’s making the right call by saying “If you want to make this commitment, I’m willing to make it too but I’m not willing to take you in this relationship as things are now.” She wants to make sure if they commit to each other for life that it’s not something either of them regret. After all, you only have one life, better not to waste ten years on someone you married just because you were sad and desperate for a week in your 20’s.

[FordRoger]

It does seems like he really regrets what he put her through and has agreed with her on going to counseling and repairing the damage done. He told me himself that he does wants to marry her.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I’m sure he does, but I know there’s a part of her that’s upset that it took her leaving, or threatening to leave him, that got his ass in gear and decided to stop taking her for granted as she had undoubtedly been feeling when she initially left. It sounds like they both know this is his last chance with her

[DishLady]

Women don’t dream of being with a guy who is undesirable to them. What part of that isn’t clear? He got a ring… that’s not going to change who he is or what she needs from him.

[FordRoger]

He's sorry though and wants to make it up to her, make her feel loved and secure again. He told me he really wants to marry her.

[DishLady]

What he wants is irrelevant if she won’t have him.

[Billlewis]

That's a real shame; hopefully they'll get everything worked out, and tie the knot eventually.

[FordRoger]

Hopefully. Now the tables have turned. He would've wanted to set up the wedding date but she's not in the mood about it. Now he wants it (the wedding) and she's taking her time. He feels terrible about taking too long before.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic swoop-in-with-a-ring move! 🌹 It's like using the ultimate cheat code in a love game, isn't it? But here's the thing, using a marriage proposal as a Hail Mary to fix a relationship can be like putting a diamond ring on a wobbly table—it might dazzle for a moment, but it doesn't fix the shaky foundation.

Your friend's leap from breakup to proposal, while grandiose, might have felt to her like skipping a few crucial chapters in their love story. Lovebombing after a split? Bold move! But it can send one's heart into a bit of a tailspin. 😵‍💫

See, even if one dreams of a proposal, the context is key. It's not just about the ring or the title; it's about feeling secure and loved in the relationship. If there are unresolved issues, a proposal might seem like a beautiful band-aid, but what she’s probably craving is healing the wounds underneath first.

Counseling is a step in the right direction! It shows commitment to change, not just a willingness to put a ring on it. She's not upset about the proposal itself, but perhaps about the timing and what it represents. Let's give them a fist bump for trying to work through their issues, and a little whisper to remind them that patience, communication, and genuine understanding are the best kind of love magic. 💫💕

[Anonymous]

Would u accept a women who slept with another man? And gave u a proposal? Why be sad? She’s after all willing to be with u

[FordRoger]

Usually it's us buying the ring and proposing. We propose and the woman either accepts or declines. Sleeping with someone meant she cheated and so has no value in my life.
My friend never cheated. The only bad thing he ever did was taking too long to commit. She break up after they've been together for nearly 6 years but he realized his mistakes and regrets them. He wants to be a better person, a better man to her.

[Opinion Owner]

Taking too long means he was definitely considering other options. Would u want a women who keeps on rejecting u and finally accepts to settle with u because she couldn’t get the better guy to stay with her? I think u must accept her as she finally gave u what u wanted