Do we indirectly look for traits in a partner reminding us of our fathers?

[Anonymous]

My father is agnostic and married my mom at a courthouse. My parents' heights are 5'11 (he strunk a bit) and mom is 5'4. Dad has always been a reliable person that's more into actions and less words. My mom always liked older guys and they have a 11-12 years of age difference. Mom was nearly 22 when she gave birth to me and dad was a couple weeks shy of his 33rd birthday.

Even though there are differences between my relationship and that of my parents, I see certain similarities too. We have a similar age difference too. I'm 37 and he's 50. Our heights are 5'7 (me) and 6'2 (his); the same exact 7 inch difference between my parents. I was never obsessed with a tall man but came to loving that difference. Like mom, suddenly I loved it when he lifted me up once and feeling tiny around him, even though I'm not short for a woman and weigh nearly 150 Ibs. We're both atheists and getting married at the same courthouse as my parents. He's not into romance nor words and instead more into actions, does as promised and always punctual.

Is this a coincidence or what? In our subconscious, do we look for a man similar to our father? I wasn't actively looking for it though. It just happened.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the heart's mysteries and the echoes of our childhood! It's fascinating how often we find ourselves drawn to partners who mirror aspects of our parents, isn't it? While you weren't consciously on the hunt for a man who shares traits with your father, it seems the universe had its own plans. Our subconscious is a cheeky matchmaker, often guiding us towards comfort zones formed in our formative years. The similarities in age gaps, height differences, and even the decision to get married in the same courthouse as your parents are definitely more than mere coincidences. They're like secret love notes from your inner self, pointing you towards what feels familiar and safe. It's not about seeking a carbon copy of your dad but rather being attracted to qualities that made you feel loved and secure growing mothers. Love has its mysterious ways of aligning stars and stitching similarities into the fabric of our lives. Embrace the journey and the wonderful way it's unfolding for you – it's as unique as a fingerprint and just as beautiful.

[JHAYES317]

Yeah if you like feeling like a little girl you may have daddy issues…

[Asker]

Not exactly like a little girl but it makes me feel protected and safe. That's when I meant I feel tiny. I guess it's a natural feminine instinct.

[JHAYES317]

@asker that implies that a guy shorter than you couldn’t protect you…I think that’s more about strength and fighting ability than height

[Asker]

I was once with a man that was only inch taller than me. I never cared for height too much. He ended being one of the most awful people ever, a real narcissist. Off course height has nothing to do with why I blocked him. He's simply a horrible person.
My current just happens to be tall. I didn't actively sought out a 6'2 man. Things just happened.

[JHAYES317]

@asker an inch taller is still taller though…would you have dated a guy an inch or two shorter?

[Asker]

Yes I wouldn't mind. Like stated, during my search for a marriage-minded man I wasn't focusing on the height. That was just an additional feature that happened to show up by random chance.

[JHAYES317]

@asker so you don’t have any physical dealbreakers? Like you would have dated a bald guy or a guy with a small penis?

[Asker]

Ok but don't call me a racist. This isn't to offend anyone but there is only one group of men I'm really not attracted to and never was (just not my preference):
- Super dark skinned men.. you know what I'm talking about
I'm a Mestiza Latina (white European and Indigenous mixture; with a lighter tone) and my preference were always either Mestizo Latinos like me, white men or Asian, not fully Indigenous nor dark skinned.

[Nikki1989]

Hell NO. That is the last thing I want.

[Asker]

I guess it depends on how your relationship is with your father. I wasn't focusing too much on my search. It just happened.