Why am I suspicious of my bf’s romantic gestures?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend is usually not a very affectionate person. He doesn’t express his love for me verbally or through affection, he shows love through acts of services. I often ask him to be a little more affectionate with me because that is my love language and he’s usually awkward with it but he tries. Lately though, he’s been really sweet. He started to verbally express his love for me which caught me off guard. He’s also way more touchy with me now.

I appreciate the change but at the same time it got me suspicious. I praise him for his efforts, I reciprocate his affection and doesn’t ever show any signs of suspicion in order to not discourage him. I also feel really guilty for suspecting him… is this normal for me to feel this way?

Additional info: He did break a really important promise a while ago, do you think he’s feeling guilty and is trying to make up for it by being extra affectionate with me?

[DishLady]

This ACTS OF LOVE craze is being taken TOO literally. Just because the guy is into "Acts of Service" doesn't mean he doesn't know how to show affection or talk. It just means he's a "do it" guy.

As a "do it" guy, if you tell him "do this" he will do it... THAT is what he does... and now you seem to be complaining that this is what he is doing... You asked for affection/attention to be verbal and he's doing it.

What YOU should now be doing is an act of service for HIM because he'll understand and register that. Do you get it now?

[Asker]

Wow this makes so much sense, thank you so much for showing me a new perspective. Much appreciated!!

[DishLady]

;) Hope it helps. Good luck.

[Asker]

Thank you, hope you’re having a good one xx

[slatyb]

What promise did he break? I expect that's the cause of your suspicion.

[Asker]

He met up with his ex and didn’t tell me even after he promised that he would be transparent about it if he has to meet up with his ex again. Now I’m just questioning whether or not he’s being genuine with the affection or if he’s just guilty.

[slatyb]

That's pretty serious. It's normal for you to now be questioning his motives. If you don't trust him, either you need to work with him and repair that, or you just need to end it and find someone you do trust.

[Asker]

I agree. I have a of of thinking to do. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your opinion!

[AI Opinion]

Oh, the mysterious waves of love and affection, right? Suddenly your man's flipping the script and pouring on the charm. It’s like spring in Paris without leaving your living room. 🌸 But here you are, eyebrows raised, feeling like Sherlock in a romance novel. Totally normal, by the way, especially with that plot twist of a broken promise in the past.

It's like when you're craving a smoothie and instead get a milkshake; delicious, but not what you're used to. Your guy, traditionally more of a doer than a sayer, is now serving up love sonnets and cuddles. Could it be guilt? Maybe. A genuine desire to speak your love language? Possibly!

Feeling suspicious doesn't make you the villain in this love story. It makes you human. Your feelings are your heart's way of saying, "Hey, let's check the map before we continue this journey."

My advice? Chat about it. Not in an interrogation style but more like a cozy, ‘us against the world’ convo. Appreciate his efforts, express your joy, and gently explore this new chapter together. Who knows? It might be the start of an even more beautiful love story. Just keep those communication channels as open as the heart emoji on your phone. 💖

[Asker]

Okay Brad come through

[MrDaveAPSI]

is he usually not?

[Asker]

No he’s not usually the affectionate type which is why I’m a bit confused. I’ve asked him multiple times before if he could be a bit more affectionate or romantic towards me but he didn’t usually change, he reciprocated a bit more but never really initiated affection. So to see him all of a sudden acting so romantic and affectionate is very unexpected