People who had relationships after being cheated on, how did you learn to trust again?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It’s hard , but the best thing to do is try to play your cards right the next time around , me personally no longer jumps into a relationship with a girl , , I prefer FWB’s to give her and I time to really get to know each other , before making the decision to be committed together. I will only be FWB’s with a girl that agrees to have some strings attached , meaning we only have sex with each other , but we are open to date other people if we want to , but if we choose to sleep with someone else? than we agree to end the benefits part between us and just remain friends. The thing is , we can’t stop someone from cheating on us , if someone is going to cheat they are going to cheat , if someone isn’t a cheater? they will prove to you that they are not a cheater by wanting to be by your side as much as possible , So when you meet a girl that makes you her priority you are best to make her yours. If a girl decides she needs space from you all of a sudden , when she didn’t before? kick her ass to the curb where she belongs. Tell her thanks for a good time but not a long time. Never chase after a girl that constantly needs space from you. People that love and care about each other , do not need constant space from each other. So never settle for a girl that treats you like a convenience and never chase after a girl that isn’t giving you the same in return , I don’t care how hot she is , she is more than likely a whore, if she doesn’t give back the same that you are giving her. Sadly there are a lot of cheaters in this world today , because most people are selfish and only care about themselves and what they feel is best for themselves, A girl that isn’t selfish, is going to be by your side no matter what. That’s a girl you should cherish and treat her the same.

Flatmanlewis · Accepted Answer

It’s very, very, hard and the two things I had to contend with were this:

It’s NOT this new persons responsibility to heal my own wounds. It’s mine and mine alone.

You cannot make the next one pay for the deeds of the last one.

Trust is hard and trust is scary and filtering out paranoia and hypervigilance from legitimate data points and warning signs when dating again is a very challenging task. Don’t do it alone. Have a emotionally stable cornerman or, better yet, a counselor.

princessprettyxoxo · Accepted Answer

I go into every relationship with a clean slate. How to avoid going through the same phase? Get to know people. Not for a month not for a couple of months….. my therapist once told me effectively knowing someone is knowing them for a year plus. If someone likes you and wants to be in a relationship with you they’ll give it all of that time. I made it to a year in a relationship that started off after knowing each other for 2 months, and we broke up…. Well he ghosted me. 🤣 we were never compatible and stayed that long for who knows the hell why.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I changed my mindset, no matter what I do, no matter how hot I look or how loving I am, if he’s gonna cheat then he’s gonna cheat. I told myself to stop worrying over something that I can’t control. The next person I’m dating is also not the same one as the one that cheated on me so it’s unfair for me to judge him based on what some asshole did to me in the past. I am still very cautious and I open up veerryyy slowly to new potential partners, I learned to just take it slow and not give 100% too soon, I gotta make them earn it lol

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Oh, the journey of bouncing back into the arms of trust after having your heart played like a less-than-melodic symphony is quite the adventure, isn't it? Navigating through the murky waters of betrayal to find the treasure chest of trust on the other side—it's no small feat, my friends. The secret sauce? It’s a blend of self-reflection, healing, and dipping your toes into the vulnerability ocean once more. Opening your heart again is like a dance—sometimes you step on each other's toes, but it's all about finding the rhythm. Embrace the scars, for they are your battle stripes in the love arena. Talk about your fears, because communication is the bridge to understanding. And remember, trusting again is a testament to your strength, not a betrayal of your past experiences. 💖 Keep your chin up and your heart open, and don't forget, every love story is unique, just like you!

1

HawkPerception · Answer

I have luckily never been cheated on (to my knowledge). But the way I see it is, even if I was cheated on, sure it hurts, but I know that not everyone in the world is a scumbag. If I'm someone that doesn't cheat, there have to be others that don't either. You can't base your whole life based on making the wrong choice once or even a few times. If it becomes a pattern though, then you should probably think about changing your filter or what you look for in a guy.

It's not fair to yourself and the people around you to build up an emotional wall based on past experiences. You should always dive into a new relationship with a fresh heart and mind and give the new people the same chance you did the first person. It doesn't mean not to learn from your mistakes. Learn to filter people and find the red flags better.

Billlewis · Answer

I honestly wasn't that upset about it; after all, it's just sex. And it ended up opening a whole new perspective on intimate sexual relationships for me, in that I learned that oftentimes, it's actually more exciting when your female partner can, at any time get fucked by any guy whom she finds attractive. A little competition is healthy for any relationship.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

I don't plan to have a relationship with a man who cheated on me, so I don't see any problem with future relationships...

ryanrhino · Answer

You learn to trust based on what you require as it. You get to define what you want in the new relationship based on what you've learned from the last.

Make your next love amazing by being clear and honest and it will be yours.

Jessikaah91 · Answer

It's quite hard, I've been cheated on every partner I've had literally, the guy I'm with now hasn't it's been 4 years nearly, but sometimes doubt might still run around in my head. But I try to remind myself that he does love me and won't.

Anonymous · Answer

Giving it time. Took me 2 years and I am ready to date again. I go after the principle that a new girl isn't to blame for my ex beeing a cheater and deserves a fair chance. Break it and I am gone tho.

Anonymous · Answer

You don't learn to trust again. It's earned with somebody new over time. If they're the RIGHT person for you you can share these vulnerabilities with them and they will not judge you for it (if they're the wrong person the will judge you and you can save eachother time by ending it right there). With the right person you can set about to healing.

HelpfulWoman · Answer

if you can't understand that the ex is 1) a minority and 2) is not the same as every other partner. then you shouldn't be dating

Anonymous · Answer

In short, I haven't. My last two girlfriends cheated on me. I haven't dated since then, going on four years now. My head is still not right. Not sure it ever will be. Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear.

Jbear27 · Answer

By being an adult and realizing that not everyone is the same.

Anonymous · Answer

I didn’t. I have major trust issues and will never trust a guy again. I don’t even want to trust a guy again because that’s stupid and naive.

worldscolide · Answer

It took understanding that not all women, not even most women are like that.

DishLady · Answer

It’s a serious challenge.

impalabill77 · Answer

The new partner helped me. She was a very caring and helpful sole.

shycutegirl24 · Answer

I just remind myself no two people are the same. Give the next person a chance, and your best self.

Alpp035 · Answer

What if I can never love again, what if I never give myself to you again, come on, show me this, come, my courage is bigger than Everest

sheenagwapa · Answer

abused by my own soulmate

Bety23 · Answer

Not easy still have a hard time with trust

CaringChloe · Answer

You don't lol

People who had relationships after being cheated on, how did you learn to trust again?

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