For the people that were cheated on: Do you have a hard time trusting someone new?

[Finchie40]

Since I been cheated on before , it did effect me to a certain extent , it pretty much changed my whole outlook on relationships to the point it’s harder for me to trust a girl , another reason I no longer rush into a relationship with a girl , even if the girl tells me she loves me and she would never cheat on me and she promises to stay loyal to me , those
Words sadly don’t sit to well with me anymore because part of me thinks she is bullshitting me. I hate this about myself cuz I never use to think of this stupid shit but now that I am broken it’s harder for me to trust , I want to trust and I want ti believe her , but unfortunately actions speak louder than words to me. Anyone else feel this way?

[DishLady]

No. Each person is different. HOWEVER it the new person has a history of being a playboy or has a shady sort of past that IS NOT reliable or trustworthy then there's just cause NOT to trust anything they say or do.

[Finchie40]

That’s true , me personally wouldn’t continue with a girl that had that sort of past to begin with , especially a bad reputation, that’s an turn off to me

[DishLady]

Yeah.

[Hal2002]

It is not that I do not trust, but it takes longer to earn my trust now. I am more critical, of what someone says and what their actions show.

I will ask questions when I see that what is said, does not match up with actions. Where I used to let things slide, to keep the peace and to avoid conflict.

[Stevepro68]

I feel like I am an outlier because my ex wife cheated on me. Yet I was able to handle my girlfriend continuing to work as a sex worker for the 1st 2 years. Now she is retired. But I handled pretty well. So I guess it didn't strike me as steeply as I would have thought.

[Finchie40]

If a girl is honest with me and treats me like I treat her then it’s easier for me to trust her but if she eventually changes her attitude towards me or her actions seem off , that’s when my gut instincts turn on and that’s when I start to question whether she is being loyal or not

[Lucy68]

Yesit has affected me greatly. Trust issues, insecurity, never really thinking you're good enough, it sucks

[Finchie40]

Yea it destroyed my self esteem and confidence in myself as well and took me a long time to rebuild that within myself , after I was cheated on by a girl that I thought loved me the same way I loved her , it shattered me , to the point I ended up becoming an selfish asshole even though I wasn’t because I was honest with every girl I met that showed interest in me at that time I was just over relationship all together , the crazy thing is when I wasn’t making any attempts to be with a girl , that’s when girls’ were coming on to me and showing interest in me , and that’s when I put a wall up protecting myself and not really trusting any girl whatsoever, i would tell her the truth that I wasn’t looking for a relationship considering I just got out of one , but these girls’ didn’t care , they kept pursuing me , so I said fuck it , and had sex with some of them , It wasn’t until I was pretty much juggling 7 girls’ at one time that it hit me that I can’t string all these Girls’ along , even though I wasn’t stringing anyone along , they chose to keep pursuing Me , and I was just having fun and being honest with them , but it eventually hit me that I shouldn’t be doing this because some of the girls’ I was sleeping with wanted more and more and that’s when it hit me that I had to stop , so out of the 7 girls’ I ended up staying with my wife the other z6 I ended it with

[Finchie40]

Now after all these years now my wife and I ran into a bunch of issues and now we aren’t together anymore, but still friends for , her and I just been doing our own things , so I been open to dating again

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, I'm here to sprinkle some wisdom with a touch of cheekiness! Being cheated on is a real heart-wrencher and a solid red flag for our trust radars. But remember, it's okay to carry some emotional armor while you get to know someone new. Trust is like wine; it ages beautifully, so give it time. Ghosting those anxious thoughts through open communication and little steps forward can reinvigorate your belief in love. Keep those blue eyes on the horizon because every love story is unique. 💕

[ProbablyClueless]

So my mom cheated on my dad. And in my own life, I had a relationship where there wasn't cheating, but there was still a huge betrayal of trust.

I have come to understand why my mom did what she did. It was very preventable affair and I totally get how she got to the point that she did.

What my ex did was a much less understandable thing for me. Because she did this weird thing where she made the decision that we weren't going to date anymore, but then when I tried to check out of the relationship she pursued me and kept me around for like 8 months before ripping the rug out from under me. (I guess so she could feel like things ended on her terms?)

I actually didn't find that those betrayals made it harder for me trust. They did teach me the lesson that people are basically going to do just whatever the hell they want to do. And there's not really much you can do about it.

All you can do is show up in your relationships to the best of your ability. Have (and enforce) strong, healthy boundaries. Make staying as attractive an option as you can to the other person.

[sage2021]

I really didn't even think about trusting someone new after I was cheating on. I guess I was just so trusting of people back in 1978…

[Finchie40]

When i was born lol

[new-person]

No, as you should not assume and judge. But what I am now, is extremely more carful and look for red flags (action speeks louder then words). I also have people earn my trust and not just freely give it away, out of being carful. "Judging is never good, but being careful is always good".

[BDRick]

When I first got cheating on camera, it was a change of pace; But the next dozen or so times I did (by all different people), it got to me & crushed me so I haven’t dated in many years because I’ve lost trust in people all together. It’s been, truthfully, 13 years …I just can’t regain what was taken from me.

[ChooChooHaha]

No.
I'm the exact same way. Actions speak louder than words.

[Finchie40]

Yea if her actions match mine then trusting her becomes easier but unfortunately that’s always a 50/50 chance on whether she is going to continue being that way , some of the girls’ I gave my heart to eventually turned around and shit on it because they were selfish and thought grass is greener on the other side , that started comparing us to other couples and acted like I was no longer a priority to her anymore because she deserves to have what other people have. I realized I wasn’t loved , I was just used until something better came along. Why I no longer rush into relationships with girls’ because sadly most girls’ are selfish people that only want what they think is best for themselves , and allow their toxic friends’ to control their decisions in life , so when I started to be FWB’s with some strings attached to girls ‘ that’s when I started having better experiences with girls’ because it gave us time to see the big picture before fully committing to each other , since most people like to weigh their options. And think they want true love but really they don’t when they realize what it takes to be in a committed relationship with someone. So my days of having my heart shit on by selfish girls’ has come to an end , because if she chooses someone else , oh well I guess we weren’t meant to be and my heart isn’t completely destroyed

[ChooChooHaha]

I hate those kind of people.

[red-lipstick-girl]

Yes, I have a lot of insecurities, I almost don't trust anyone.

[Finchie40]

I’m not saying I am perfect but I know i didn’t deserve the shit that happened to me , why I don’t rush into relationships anymore

[red-lipstick-girl]

Because life is overwhelming, there are always wrong people and their wrong mistakes, so no one trusts anyone.

[QualityAssured]

I have a hard time trusting anyone at all new or old and yiude be wise to approach things the same way

God said.. Do not put your trust In Men

Put your trust down at your own feet. you're the only one who's got you. You don't need to depend on anyone else to tell you. You y inou feel it then you know t

[MannMitAntworten]

No. I would never hold another hostage over an ex’s transgressions. With everyone, I begin with just trusting them. If not to be trusted, they will demonstrate that on their own without my adding hurdles.

[DangerouslyCute]

if it impacted you that you can't trust anymore you need a therapy

there is no relationship without trust... trust issues are the most common killers of relationships

[bolverk]

I've been cheated on twice, since then I haven't bothered with dating in any form, be that one night stands or long term relationships.

[BlueJeanBaby07]

I do not only they cheat it was with someone I trusted.

[LiamJHayden]

If I had been, I would not. People are individuals. I would not blame a new lady for what a past one did.

[cheating-test_com]

Got cheated on the first time. Then, over the next 7 years, I learned a lot about female nature and I believe I can spot the early signs (although no one has cheated on me since then).

[TheSpaceGnome]

Trust is earned, you don't trust any new person, nor date any new person.

[CB-Raido-Time]

My last breakup was 39 years ago at age 21/22 and I never plan on dating or getting into a relationship again the math speaks for itself.

[katiesmuff]

For awhile I did!

[Finchie40]

It mainly comes down to how she treats me as well, if she is sweet and caring and loving to me, and wears my shoes like I wear hers’ then trusting her is not a problem , but if she is the slightest shady and is t very honest then I will more than likely have a harder time trusting her

[Anonymous]

No girl ever cheated on me, because no girl ever wanted me... I don't know what's worse...

[SteveSmith1985]

Yes.

[UnwantedScorpio]

i can’t find a single guy there. Taken

[RedInnocent69]

Not really. Just different expectations

[LunarEclipse433]

Absolutely

[foxsquirrell]

Absolutely!