If you have been lied to or cheated on, did that affect your trust in future relationships?

[Anonymous]

By cheating this can mean emotional infidelity too, such as texting or sexting another guy/gal while still married, financial infidelity (gambling, spending money on the new crush, or hiding funds), lying about their whereabouts, and lying about habits such as excessive drinking and/or seeing a drug dealer. Basically anything that violates your trust and causing you to feel unappreciated, disconnected, or resentful due to them not being honest with you.

[Noredcarpet]

Throughout my life when I see a sign or draw conclusion of a pattern of something that remind me of the bad in the past my reaction comes for sure. I have trouble at first seeing straight as I know Part of my reaction is the past but it could too be a clear warning we are heading down the same path. I need time alone then with my thoughts and feelings, and to tell the truth that is something that exes, or partner, have difficulty handling as somehow I have always been the one they come running too and I take too much of them in, it is not 50, 50, they basically drown me with their stuff, their emotions, their thoughts.

I have been corrected when I thought I was jealous as in saying no it is about broken trust here and now. I was not irrational. I was not ridiculous. A third party had to correct me, that did not come from no partner.

What you might hear from a partner is someone who does not have enough knowledge, wisdom, or tries to hide the truth from himself, to look himself in the mirror, you do not get a fair answer, reflection from someone like that, you need a third party, neutral.

What I really do not like is that what I have dared to show of myself, vulnerable, is then being turned around, twisted, for the partner to try to get off the hook completely. That could be part of why I react, but the rest is because of what I can tell is about or is happening. My reaction is strong as some things I refuse to be exposed to again all because someone else do not recognize it. I have to pay for someone elses shit, mistake, weakness. Not nice. Again.

Studies show of happy long term couples that they are not perfect but they protect their partners vulnerability, their scars. They do not expose them to them again. They know of them, they see the value of being trusted with that information, they make sure to protect their partner from it happening again and by doing so they protect the entire relationship. They show up. Because they want to, chose to, not because they were told by their partner or someone else. Because they get it all on their own. Protection is trust. Is love. Respect.

I've learned over time it's ok to be alone because it is worse being in a group where I think in different ways, it is better I stand alone completely with my truth. It makes me stronger. It can built me walls too. I have learned they don't listen til I go to drastic measures and before more time has passed, but as my pattern then show in my past by then it is too late, another fear.

I know I stoped loving ex in my past because ex did not wake up on time. Did not hear or take serious my cries for help, love was dying, it is not to play with. I have always felt I left someone who already left me but when that happened nobody cared. But he got all the sympathy in the world when I left, as it was official. Unless you belong to the dark traid, unless there is something seriously wrong with you, you do not leave someone who has not left you before you left that someone. You leave because you are alone, anyhows. He's left you.

I have been told I do not automatically bring in the old bad stuff, but when I see new signs of it replaying I react to it, big time.

[Noredcarpet]

Replying to myself, lol, no, seriously I forgot something, my ex developed an addiction hard to beat during our relationship. After that experience I have always studied how a potential new partner and my surrounding relate to it. I would not explain why. There was this guy I remember I was unsure of, dated him about 5 times or so, then saw for real his relation to it, knew that was it for me, not going through that door again. When I did leave my ex it was with the thought that I would not let a child, unborn or not, grow up with it, exposed to it like that. I knew what I wanted in my future and it wasn't that. I couldn't do that to a child. I didn't want that life.

[Asker]

Sorry to hear, addiction can be tough in any relationship. Hope you are doing better.

[Noredcarpet]

Thank you, yes, I am. I had to work it through recently, I thought I was done with it before, but no, our relationship, feelings were done with, but I still had stuff to go through. I will always think of it as a shame because he was such a good person when I knew him before, he saved my life once, without time to think, his instinct was to protect me and he just sort of smiled afterwards. Had it been really bad he could have died. I later tried to return the favor but impossible to save someone who isn't on board with you. Took him later to get there to that point. when we were history.

[Asker]

Sorry to hear, I have dated several that have dealt with addiction before. Alcohol, meth, and other drugs. It’s not pretty.

[DishLady]

It didn't bug me till this year. Now I won't tolerate it.

[DishLady]

To clarify: If I'm in an actual relationship and the person is cheating and lying perpetually for no reason they get a firm cutoff. I don't cheat and I don't expect the other person to do so. If I respect a person I also deserve to be respected, end of story.

If a perpetual liar is interested and hovering but expecting to do whatever he wants while wasting my time, he'll get fair one warning and probation then a firm cutoff.

Why does the relationship guy have a firm cutoff earlier? Bc I take my time to declare (or be pulled into) a relationship, so by the time we're in a relationship the guy knows we're meant to be exclusive, etc.

[Summeroflove]

People need to realize that someone whose loyal will never cheat regardless of if the opportunity presents itself or not. They would never act on it and if things get weird they will remove themselves from the situation. They have the integrity that hypothetically even if they knew they would get away with it, they still would never do it.

Yes, a loyal person may leave a relationship they no longer want to be in, feel fulfilled by, etc. But never cheat and most of the time they will try to work things out. But if all else fails they will leave.

People think that on one hand being controlling will keep someone from cheating. Okay, even if you could stop someone from cheating. Why do you want to be with them? Two, you can’t stop someone from cheating if they are going to cheat they are going to cheat. Point blank….

As well as people think if they’re a better man or woman. They won’t get cheated. False! You can be the best man or woman in the world. A cheater is still gonna cheat… Loyal people simply leave.

[exitseven]

I dated spomebody thst dumped me in a very cruel way. Tht messed me up for a while.

[exitseven]

Thanks for the MHO😎

[AI Opinion]

Ah, love and trust, the delicate dance that keeps us on our toes! 🕺💃 Being lied to or cheated on can feel like a punch to the gut, right? It’s natural for trust issues to pop up in future relationships after such a betrayal. Healing takes time, and accepting that not everyone's a love bomber is key. Learning from the past can deepen your understanding of red flags, but don't let it stop you from falling in love again. 😊 Stay open, and you'll find someone who deserves your trust.

[lightbulb27]

I've been lied to, namely by myself.

be careful of what you believe and were trained to believe, the "world" was a liar first, making you a liar and a thief.

sometimes people speak their truth, which is not true...

others lie to hide what is true, for fear or shame of exposure.

It's a sticky wicket...

[HampferStick]

A woman cheated on me so I just slapped her so hard she zigzagged away from me. I do not need to tell the details, it was awful experience with her how manipulative she was. Women deserve to be beaten to pulp nowadays they have been indoctrinated by the media to such an extent, they think the whole world is supposed to be their playground. The way they dress already tells you.

[Nikki1989]

No. It is not the end of the world, and I am not that petty, insecure, or immature. Life goes on.

[MannMitAntworten]

Nope. I never hold future pursuits in purgatory over some ex’s past transgressions. I certainly wouldn’t to be held accountable for the poor behavior of ‘her’ ex either.

[Anonymous]

I was cheated on by two women (two separate relationships). The first one was rough but I managed to get past it and date again after a while. The second one devastated my self esteem and has been much harder to get over. I haven't really dated seriously since that one.

[RavVid]

I think you never recover confident trust once you have been cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Yes I got really neurotic and insecure about it and held on to him even tighter. I left him eventually but not because he was cheating

[Anonymous]

Cheating was the least of my concerns. My ex was physically abusive. And that caused trust issues.

[Asker]

I’m sorry to hear, and nobody deserves to be in that position. I hope things are better for you now.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you

[ChaseBee]

Absofreakingkutely. I didn’t lose the woman but it makes you wonder when there is a straight guy hanging out with her. I still have trust issues.

[Anonymous]

Yes, very much so then I just stopped dating at all.

[blackeagle007]

I’ve had some bad experiences, hence to why I haven’t dated much

[Anonymous]

Never been cheated on thankfully.

[dudeinohio]

Yes i have and yes it has.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I've never been in a relationship.

[noohair]

Yes it has...