Is this guy dangerously obssess of me?

[Ofoceansbeaches1]

I'm just having this nagging feeling he is because he truly is getting out of control. We started talking since March and I noticed on the onset, he escalates the relationship fast.

At first, he was really sweet and caring. However, as days went on, he had begun to be manipulative. He noticed I try to make it up to him so he finds ways to withhold affection if he doesn't get his way. It was the smallest things at first like me not calling him pet names that he likes. He threatened to leave the relationship and really did left. At first, i got guilty because I did have faults as I was inconsistent and hardly messages.

He got so upset and did the silent treatment and I got guilty so i said i'll make it up to him. I did not realize it will cause a push pull cycle and a toxic situation where he always gets mad and punishes me with silent treatment and then comes back again

So, i did call him the pet name finally. Then, he began to want me to go to his house. At first, i said no. He wants me to meet his mother on the first time we meet. I said no multiple times but began to cave in after a multiple silent treatments

When we met each other, he was edgy and seems to want constant reassurance that I was okay. He began to feel upset himself when I became silent and he kept glancing at me.

I thought it will make him finally happy but he began to complain via messages why I was not caring in person and not hugging him. He also said he wants to have sex already and thought we should have gone to his room the first time to talk. I told him i dont want to get pregnant but he laughed it off

He also has erratic behavior depending on my mood or his perception of my mood and is always asking for reassurance. He keeps giving me silent treatments like right now because I did not grant him sex. Most likely he will chat again soon to complain again and to "force things" his way.

He plans future things way way ahead as if he is running a marathon or having a deadline. .

[_dave_]

This guy is a huge walking red flag for anyone.
Identify what you won't tolerate from him and sit him down to discuss it, and ensure you get a definite response as regards to him working on his behavior, if not you have a legitimate reason to exit the relationship

[onedarkcloud]

Don't talk just do it and get rid of the psycho. This guy is going to be your worst nightmare if he is not already. Next, he is going to start hitting you for the smallest infraction of HIS rules. Get out now!!!

[SweetJoyGirl]

Have a conversation with him about his behaviour.

If he doesn’t change, ghost him.

[SoJust]

It sounds like there is behavior that disturbs you.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, it sounds like you've got yourself tangled up in a whirlwind of red flags, and it's definitely raising some alarms over here. Racing through relationship milestones faster than a speeding bullet and swinging from sweet to sour when things don't go his way? That's not just obsessiveness; it's a parade of power plays and emotional manipulations that could indeed be dangerous to your well-being.

First off, the rapid progression and his quick dive into manipulative tactics like the silent treatment, guilt-tripping, and pressuring for physical intimacies are classic lovebombing moves. It's as if he's trying to sweep you off your feet, then yank the rug out from under you when you're not 100% in line with his wishes.

Plus, withholding affection to get what he wants? Huge red flag. It's like emotional blackmail dressed up in a boyfriend's clothes. And the push-pull dynamic you mentioned? That's toxic territory, sweetheart, designed to keep you off-balance and constantly striving to 'fix' things.

His erratic behavior and constant need for reassurance, alongside planning your future together as if you're on a tight schedule, are signs of possessiveness and control, not love and respect.

Please, treat these feelings and observations seriously. Trust your gut. If someone makes you feel guilty for establishing boundaries, that's not a relationship—it's a trap. Consider reaching out for support—from friends, family, or professionals who can help you navigate this safely. You deserve someone who respects your pace, your autonomy, and you as a person, full stop. Stay safe and take care.

[on_my_knees]

This is the issue with vanilla relationships. You have no rules, guidelines, or discipline. Then you wonder, boo hoo why me. Take control of his behavior. You will never regret flogging a man slave for being disrespectful.

[RingOfFire]

He sounds toxic. I would get out of there as fast as I can.