My partner works all the time and it's affecting our relationship? What can I do?

[debby]

My partner works 60+ hours per week. He’s always busy with work. I feel so lonely and disconnected in our relationship. We used to have quality time together, but now he's always busy. Communication has decreased, and our sex life is suffering. I've expressed my feelings, but nothing has changed. I'm tired of feeling neglected and unsure of what to do next. How can we reconnect, or should I consider breaking up if things don't improve soon?

[MrOracle]

I know you said you expressed your feelings, but what did he say in return? And were you clear and direct, and does he understand just HOW MUCH this is a problem for you?

Men often feel HUGE pressure to provide when in a relationship - we're constantly told that it's our primary duty as a man - and so men often assume that earning money HAS to be our top priority.

Have you made him understand that you're okay with him bringing in less money so that you can spend more time together? And that you're okay with a reduction in lifestyle to make this happen? And if yes to both, what did he say in response?

A relationship only works if you can be honest with each other and have clear and direct communication. That means you have to be able to tell him things he doesn't want to hear or has trouble accepting, and you have to be able to hear things you won't want to hear or have trouble accepting too.

Try to find a time, or schedule a time with him when he can be relaxed and not have other responsibilities, and TALK about this. Help him understand that he needs to balance his priorities, and that you understand that this is going to affect his income, and you're okay with that. Be CLEAR and DIRECT, but stay positive. Focus on a happy solution, not the problem. Be prepared to explain WHY you feel this way - do not expect him to "just know" because he doesn't "just know."

If you find that you just aren't on the same page and you can't find a compromise you can both live with, then you need to end the relationship and move on. Otherwise, you make some adjustments and you come back together after a few months and you either agree that it's working or you make some further adjustments until it is.

[IWILLPLEASEYOU]

Guy's don't always get it done but what my friend said she was tired of waiting for me and she got naked and said do you like it and I said oh yes, she said when I told her that I would be interested in fucking you as soon as possible she put her hands on my cock but she is not going to be naked like that I am not sure what is your plan for the next few times and the other ways that you are looking very good to be naked and fucking to you have to do some of your own personal 🎶 and then I bent heroverbut she was going to open her legs and she said that I was just wondering if I can activate it for the first time you have to do it then you can swallow it.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Why would you break things off? Because he is working and making decent money? Imagine him working 80+ hrs a week. Yap! I said it! There are men who do that.
Just because he works a lot doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Ok, you voiced your concerns. How about coming up a solution that doesn’t affect his working hours? 🤔

For instance, spending his off days together. During that time, you can do whatever you guys want to do. He is practically yours: dinner, movies etc. If there is something extra fun you want to do with him that will take more than his off days can handle, plan ahead.

Don’t be so quick to break things off without thinking it through. 😊

Unless, you have and you want to get with a man he works like 30 hrs a week. If you are in the US, those kind of hours can’t support anyone at this time. lol

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

@sweetjoygirl I love your advice! 😊

[SweetJoyGirl]

@SeriouslyNotSerious Thank you! 💜

[Alli112]

If you've already talked it through, you don't have any reason to believe more conversations will solve the problem, and the situation isn't likely to end naturally soon (ex. a super busy period at work, transition between companies or jobs, needing extra money to solve a major financial issue) then I think you should first try to understand why they're making that choice, and if you can't live with the answer, then consider walking away on the grounds of differing priorities and preferences.

Focus on understanding what's causing the problem to begin with before you make any major decisions though.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the choppy waters of a relationship where work takes the steering wheel can be super challenging. It hits differently when the love language you're fluent in gets lost in translation, doesn't it? But hold on, don't throw in the towel just yet! The first step in any good rom-com—and let's face it, in real life—is opening up a heart-to-heart conversation. It sounds like you've started this, but maybe it's time to turn up the volume.

Here's a flirty idea: how about planning a 'date night' that's non-negotiable on the calendar, where both of you can dial down on work talk and dial up on romance? Use this time to really dive deep into how you've been feeling and listen to his side too. It's all about finding that middle ground where your relationship gets its well-deserved spotlight.

If cupid's arrows keep missing their mark and you're feeling more solo in this duet, seeking a relationship coach might just be your golden ticket. Having a neutral third party can help untangle feelings and find new paths to happiness.

But remember, love, if you’ve danced every dance and sung every song and the music still isn't playing right, it might be time to decide what's best for you. Your happiness is key; make sure it's not sitting on the back burner. Keep the conversation as sparkly as your personality, and fingers crossed, love finds its way back! 🌟

[DishLady]

Just make sure that the time you DO spend together is quality time and not wasted on complaints about how hard he's working... Perhaps text him something during the day to let him know he's on your mind... If you've been intimate, share a sassy text (not a pic, which may open on his banner while he's at work or in front of a client.

[MicahRaine]

My partner works all the time and it's affecting our relationship? What can I do?

First off, be glad you have a partner who has a good work ethic and is willing to work long hours.

Secondly, just talk to him about it. There could be many good reasons for why he works so hard. Maybe he's trying to pay off loans or save up money for a nice car or a vacation; or maybe his job just requires it. Whatever it is, try to find out whether he's working so much out of necessity or by choice.

If he's doing it by choice, ask him to work a little less so you can spend more time together. If he says "yes," great. If he says "no," he's probably saving up for something, which shouldn't be an issue unless it becomes an endless pattern with no end goal on sight. At that point, you probably have a workaholic on your hands and I would recommend speaking to a professional if you can't handle it.

If he's doing it out of necessity, support him in that and look for ways to reconnect with him. Working 60 hours a week still leaves 38 hours a week of freetime (after accounting for 3 hours every day of getting ready/commuting and 7 hours of sleep every night). There's still plenty of time for the two of you if you are willing to put in the effort and make plans for spending time together that he will also enjoy.

When I was in my first relationship, I was working 60-90 hour weeks, usually 75. In my mind, I was doing it all for my girlfriend. I was working hard so I could save money, climb the ladder, and get a plushy job that allowed me to give her the lifestyle I knew she wanted. But she didn't understand that until after she broke up with me. It wouldn't surprise me if it you are in the same situation.

[voltage]

I completely understand your situation. It can be really challenging when work starts to interfere with your relationship. Have you ever think about doing small activities together like going for a walk, or daily chores like cooking dinner together to reconnect? Even dedicating a few hours on the weekend could make a difference. Try to openly discuss how you're both feeling and what you need from each other. If you find that things still aren't getting better, don’t forget focusing on your own happiness, so don’t hesitate to take steps that support your well-being.

[chick]

I can understand you, that's really tough. Balancing work and relationships can be challenging. Have you tried scheduling regular "us time" with your partner? Even small, consistent efforts can help rebuild that connection. Maybe plan a weekly date night or even just a dedicated hour each evening to catch up. If things still don’t improve, it might be worth considering couples counseling. Both of you need to be committed to making changes. If he’s unwilling to meet you halfway, it’s important to think about your own happiness and whether this relationship is fulfilling for you.

[humble]

Feeling lonely and disconnected is a big deal, and it's understandable that you're struggling. It's not fair to blame yourself for wanting more connection and intimacy in your relationship. It's natural to crave time and attention from your partner. You're entitled to feel valued and loved, and it's important for both of you to work on the relationship together. If things don't improve, it might be time to reevaluate your situation. Your feelings are valid, and it's essential to prioritize your well-being. Communication and mutual effort are key, but you shouldn't feel guilty for needing more.

[Friendlybro79]

Does your partner need to work this long to survive? That means pay bills, save for today, emergency fund, retirement? What role are you playing in this if any? Meaning are you living together sharing bills and how are you helping? If you don't live together then ignore those questions?

[Anonymous]

It depends on why he has to work so many hours. Is he a business owner, lawyer, etc? Is he trying to pay off debt and/or have a goal for something big? Does he really enjoy his job? Has he always been like this?

I work 60+ hours a week. But I have a full time job plus side ventures. My main motivation to do this is to get out of debt (Dave Ramsey style) not because I like it or I’m a workaholic.

I wasn’t always like this. But I’m in a situation right now where I have to.

[msc545]

Maybe you should go get a job and earn some money yourself and that way he won't feel so obligated to work so many hours. Nobody does this completely voluntarily without being pressured in some fashion. And I suspect your man is being pressured by you because you want nice things. Buy your own goddamn nice things.

[Serkee]

What did both of you say when you expressed this problem to him? Is he trying to get less hours at work and failing, or is he just ignoring you? And does he need to work that much to pay his bills?

[Anonymous]

You still get to see him every day what if you were married to an airline pilot him being gone for days out of the week stop complaining he’s probably taking care of you when your by yourself struggling then you’ll want him back. This is discouraging hearing these kind of words

[HighValue]

Do you work and contribute too, or is it all on him?

Do you insist on having an expensive car and oversized house?

Where is all the money going from all of those hours he works?

[WhitneySnow]

Tell him you want him to take some personal days and spend them with you doing quality time (including sex)

[Anonymous]

He’s working hard to secure a better future for both of you. Give him some consideration and recognition, will you? Just continue making an effort and take rejection lightly if he doesn’t accommodate. Keep yourself busy doing the same so you can add your fair share to that better future he is striving to attain. He’ll appreciate that.

[katiesmuff]

Some good jobs require a bit extra and one has to weigh the pros a cons of that job.

[MyBrainsInsaneReign]

Does he ever say WHY he's working so many hours? Like is it so the two of you can afford a house, or something like that?

Maybe he sees himself as doing this for you.

That's just a thought, but is it possible?

[Anonymous]

you should also work 60+ hours a week then. that way, you won't have time to worry about him working so much. and then you two will be rich.

[Anonymous]

Was he always like this? Maybe he's just a workaholic.
If not, either he gets a lot out of work, is hiding in work, or feels the need to earn enough to fulfil his perceived requirements.

[Staximus]

If you live together, get a job or a better job and help him pay the bills so he doesn't have to work so much

[Surferboi_02]

You need to talk to her and treat her to a special dinner then tell her hoe that is bothering you and to d a way to fix it

[nawtee_me]

Is this the friends with benefits guy? If so then that is all he really wants and you probably need to leave him.

[noohair]

Is the money bad too? Guys building a career take all their effort. If you guys were communicating well, things woulf be different.

[LiamJHayden]

Why does he work so much? Does he think he is doing so to make your life easier?

[Juxtapose]

You can make more money so he doesn't have to himself.

[MasterKS]

its high time to think seriously about relationship!

[Anonymous]

Communication about your sexual needs is key, perhaps you should give him an ultimatum or consider making him cuckold

[dazzafromoz]

Get a job so he doesn't have to work as much.

[jahaims]

You are too immature for a relationship

[DtMe89]

Do you work?

[Human79]

Talk to him