How can I ask my boyfriend to be more romantic without sounding rude?

[fiorenca]

I love my boyfriend, and we both see a future together, but I would like more romance in our relationship. Things like a sweet text messages, flowers "just because," or him planning a romantic date night instead of me always doing it. How can I ask for these things nicely?

[Finchie40]

Sadly you can’t really get him to change his mind , asking him , is going to make him feel you are demanding , that he change for you , and he more
Than likely won’t fall for it , you girls’ should stop watching those stupid ass romance movies or shows that are scripted , That shit is all smoke and mirrors to draw in your attention, it’s not reality. If a guy is constantly kissing your ass and constantly being romantic to you , he is more than likely being up to no good behind your back , trying to cover up how he truly is , understand most guys’ do not show emotions like you girls’ tend to do , Most of us guys’ hold that shit in because it’s how we were raised. A masculine guy will feel like a pansy, if he constantly kisses a girls’ ass , cuz he will be mocked and criticized by his friends’ for being pussy whipped. And sadly most of you girls’ think you want to be treated that way? and when you are treated that way , most of you get turned off thinking your man is a wimp. Most females’ are attracted to a masculine man , she is turned on by chasing him over him chasing her. For a guy to keep a girl by his side , he pretty much has to balance between Good and Bad to keep her on her toes. So by you expecting your man to be more romantic to you? you are actually playing with fire , because he will feel you are losing interest in him and feel you are investing your time into someone else behind his back. Understand Men have Egos , if his ego is feeling like you don’t truly respect him or value him or appreciate him , he will more than likely walk away from you and be open to a girl that wants him like you wanted him in the beginning. Stop living your life in fairy tale land , that shit is scripted. A man that truly loves you has your back the same way he wants you to have his , if you treat him like your King he will treat you like his Queen and will surprise you by taking you out to a fancy dinner or a date once in awhile , or surprise you with gifts when you lease expect it. Do not demand he do that for you , or you will probably be digging your own grave. Start treating him the way you want to be treated , that’s the only way you have a chance of getting him to be more romantic ,

[Anonymous]

Look absolutely communication is key. Also if the relationships one sided where you’re doing all of this and not getting it in return. That’s so frustrating.

Relationship's that work are equal effort (even traditional relationships botj people work equally as hard) it shows you love him that you’re doing these things for him. But he’s not…. A lot of times one sided relationships never end well. I’m not saying he doesn’t put effort in in other ways and he may just not realize it. That’s why you should tell him.

donf expect him to read your mind and figure it out.

[SugarSugarplum]

I have an idea.

Tell him that you feel like YOU have not been giving HIM enough romance. "I've just been so busy and tired, I'm so sorry, can you EVER forgive me?"

Then tell him you've set aside every weeknight (or something) just to be with him and give him the romance you feel he deserves. Apologize the hell out of it. See how it goes.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

All you have to do is ask. Sometimes, men can forget these things and get caught up with their work. If he loves you, he won't get offended and is willing to make you feel loved.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the velvet ropes of love, aren't we? 😘 The key to adding that extra dash of spice is all in the approach. Here's a little flirty tip: why not make it a fun and cozy chat during a cuddle session? Share your dreams and desires, paint it as a quest for deeper connection. You could say something like, "Imagine how amazing it would feel getting surprise love notes from you, or us getting lost in a spontaneous adventure you've planned." Make it about bringing you closer, rather than pointing out what's missing. Love, after all, is a dance best enjoyed with a partner eager to step in time with you. Let your heart lead the way, and he'll likely follow with a bouquet of affection. 💐

[MikeTheBartender]

Brad is still pissed that Amy cheated on him w the guy that was more romantic.

[lemonette]

If you want to ask your boyfriend to be more romantic without sounding rude, try approaching the conversation with kindness and positivity. Start by telling him how much you appreciate the things he already does. This helps set a good tone and shows that you value him. Then, share your feelings honestly but gently. Use "I" statements to avoid sounding like you're blaming him. For example, you could say, "I love it when you do sweet things for me. It makes me feel so special. I'd really enjoy it if we could have more romantic moments together." Suggest specific ideas, like having more date nights or little surprises, to give him a clear idea of what you mean. Communicating openly and positively can encourage more romance without making you seem rude.

[DishLady]

Lay out the trail of breadcrumbs... You have to hint at what you like in a comment that will lead him to ask a question, which leads to a dialogue about something romantic, etc. etc.

While walking with him you touch his arm and say, "Aww, look, isn't that romantic?"

Repeat till the concept of "Romantic" has sunken in (give it about two weeks).

If there's no progress after two weeks you can be more direct so he gets it...

[coachTanthony]

He either wants to do it or he doesn't... forcing him will make him miserable. Why do women always do things for the guy in the beginning then just expect him to do it later down the road as if he's a toddler and if you just show him how he will then do... lol

[Jessikaah91]

I don't necessarily think it's expecting and treating him like a toddler, but more so that if she did it all in the beginning (still doing it by sounds of things) why can't he do some for her to show that he loves her. It should go both ways tho.

[coachTanthony]

Only reason women do that stuff in the beginning is because they know deep in their bones he ain’t the one but maybe just maybe he will take some direction and become the man of my dreams ….. it never does!

[Jessikaah91]

Geez! Who shit in your cereal this morning? Thats not at all why woman do it. Maybe she does it in the beginning because she can really see a future with him, what if a guy does it in the beginning? Is that because he knows she ain't the one? WRONG. It's clearly because they like each other and want to woo each other. And literally nothing is wrong with that.. in the beginning of my relationship we were together a month and I got a roses it was the nicest thing and was always doing things for me and that's not because he didn't see a future with me because now we have been together nearly 4 years live together and have 2 kids. And he still shows me love. clearly Noone has done these things for you and that's why you're so negative on the situation..

[coachTanthony]

Comparing men and women and courtship rituals as if not are equal is a mistake.

[coachTanthony]

“As if they are equal”

[coachTanthony]

Women are to be courted not the other way around. Women who do masculine things a man should do in the courting process is because he’s not doing them and never will. He will only do it for a woman he seems worthy!

[OlderAndWiser]

How can I change him into the person I'd really like him to be?

[RavVid]

Let me give you edited romantic lowlights with one girlfriend so you know what to NOT do.

Early on I was feeling very happy with her and walked past a flower shop so I bought some and everybody was a winner.

Let time pass so the next bunch would be equally unexpected. I so enjoyed the first time I was planning to make this regular random event, Knocked on her door with the flowers behind my back for the classic surprise. Instead she said "WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG! What are you guilty of?"

They were the last flowers she got from me.

Fast forward quite a bit, she was wanting me to be more romantic in bed in the sweet nothings department. It is quite difficult to invent new sweet nothings and the standard sweet nothings didn't satisfy her. I did devise quite a good one and it went down well.

The next night I trotted it out again and I got "Oh. You said that last night". This was clearly impossible. I needed 10-15 mins of new sweet nothings every night.

So my advice is
1. Be grateful and appreciative of what he does and reinforce with good sex.
2. Never be demanding. Corollary of 1,
3. Be aware that there are limited number of sweet nothings in the world and he is not working for Hallmark
4. Genuinely meant sentiments mean something even when previously used. Corollary of 3.
5. Don't put him under pressure. If you don't you can ask him to surprise you. Do refer back to point 1.

Finally reinforce, reinforce, reinforce

[young]

When asking your boyfriend to be more romantic, the key is to approach the conversation with sensitivity and positivity. Here’s what I would suggest:

Choose the Right Moment: Find a relaxed time when you both are comfortable and not distracted.

Express Appreciation: Start by telling him what you love about your relationship and the things he already does that make you feel special. This sets a positive tone.

Use "I" Statements: Frame your request in a way that focuses on your feelings rather than what he's not doing. For instance, say, "I love it when we have romantic moments. It makes me feel really close to you."

Be Specific: Give him ideas on what you consider romantic. Whether it's planning a date night, leaving sweet notes, or simply spending quality time together, providing specific examples can help him understand what you're looking for.

Encourage Open Dialogue: Make it a two-way conversation. Ask him if there are things he would like more of in the relationship too. This shows that you care about his feelings and desires as well.

Stay Positive: Keep the conversation light and loving. Emphasize that you’re bringing this up because you care about the relationship and want to make it even better.

By approaching the topic with appreciation, clarity, and an open heart, you can communicate your desire for more romance without sounding rude.

[HawkPerception]

"Hey babe. I love you and you know you're the only one for me. I know this is a touchy subject and I really didn't know how to approach you with it, but I feel like sometimes we need a reminder to add fuel to the fire in our relationship. The truth is... I feel like I've been putting more effort into the romantic aspect of the relationship, and I'd love to see a bit more reciprocation on your end. Also, if you think that anything is missing on my end... like in sex or something and you feel like you're holding back from saying it in fear of hurting my feelings, I want you to tell me. I want us both to be satisfied in this relationship."

Doesn't need to be word for word, but if he reacts badly to that then damn... that's probably not the guy you want to be with.

[IslaTheWitch]

talk about your feelings and needs and avoid "because you..." or "you always..."

something like: I would like it very much if I get flowers from time to time or if I was invited to the restaurant for a surprise dinner

you speak about YOUR needs

[Anonymous]

You can talk to him about it. But honestly men really aren’t like that. It’s not that we don’t want to, it’s just not something that comes natural to us. That’s like asking you to be more masculine. To stop letting your feelings dictate a lot of what you do, how you react, how you feel, etc. I think if he’s around your age or older chances are not really going to happen. It may happen for women w men when they’re younger cause they’re just getting into the whole relationship phase. But overtime some of those men will get screwed over, doing what they think they’re supposed to be doing then find out she cheated w an another dude so he will lose that part of him. You can’t make men into women. Like I said you can talk to him about. But if he does it, is it really coming from his heart or because you told him to?

[noohair]

Your boyfriend is the person that he is. Trying to change him is a bad idea. Women have this aspect where they think they can fix the things in their boyfriends that they don’t like. That is a fatal mistake.

Most guys operate on the 80/20 rule. If they like 80% of what they get from a relationship, they will deal with the 20% that they don’t like. I can’t comprehend why a woman will find a guy where they like 80% and go to work fixing the 20%. The only person that you have any chance of fixing is yourself. Put down the hammer and marvel in what you have. A guy that is ignoring the 20% that you don’t see but is all the faults that every person has.

[HelpfulWoman]

The important thing here is that you're NOT going to get those. You will HAVE to remind him of what you find romantic. You chose him, and you chose his romantic style.

Now, thats not to say you can't bring it up and how you feel your romantical needs aren't fully being met. So now think of a compromise. You'll probably need to think less "spontaneous/random" and have it set out more.

Have a set day of the month where he plans a date for instance

[O_Canada]

Whisper, darling
Speak your heart's true command
Gentle words of love
Nurture dreams hand in hand

Open up your hearts
Share and compromise
Let romance bloom freely

Kindness as your guide
Inspire and renew
Spark passion anew, sweetly

Understand his brand
Of affection's key
Patience, Fiorenca
Grow love gradually
Cherish what you have
While dreaming tenderly

[ProbablyClueless]

Positive reinforcement for good behavior will almost always be better than negative reinforcement for bad behavior. If you want him to do something, keep it simple. Say "hey babe, I really like it when you do _____" and then suck his dick when he does.

[MikeTheBartender]

We Are Men, we are very simple, butter him up something like baby. I love you so much. You are so hot. You have such a big banana. Whatever, and then ask only thing. Do you think maybe you can be a little more romantic, get very specific. We are instruction followers, we are not creative.

[lightbulb27]

you will have to talk about how important this is, reinforce it, monitor train encourage and guide as you would train any human... for he has to learn.

how... sit down talk.

[rosemilk]

it's not rude to ask your own boyfriend how to love you better or things that make you happy

[katiesmuff]

I sure don't see where that would be considered rude to talk with your guy about these things.

[DrPepper12]

Directly. Its communication 101 and you both better adapt to that if you want a LTR

[OtterMan68]

just ask him his idea of a romantic vacation or weekend

[jahaims]

You don't know how to communicate without being rude?

[MrGTAB]

Lead by example and then ask him to mimic that example.

[Anonymous]

Drop hints. Beyond that you can't. I'm sure he has a wish list with you as well.

[Danny74006]

Every thing goes better with head, reward him for each h behavior

[spartan55]

What about what he wants?

[DeeDeeDeVour]

Teach by examples.

[moviedude714]

How long have you both been together

[İronclaw_]

explain it nicely

[Dongie]

Initiate.