Why don't guys prefer to have an official relationship with girls whom they had a friends with benefits relationship or a hookup with?

Question

So I noticed that many guys are happy to have friends with benefits relationship or hookups with girls but they don't consider these girls as girlfriend or wife material. A guy I know used to sleep with one of my friends for around one and a half years and he later said that she's not his type , which surprised me, because he was literally calling her for sex everytime and they uses to go on dates in clubs, dances， smoke together in his room, even lived together and even introduced her to some of his friends as his girlfriend but to others he never considered her as his girlfriend and he never addressed her as such. He just says the term "friends" to describe her.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Well it sounds like your friend waited to long and didn’t express her feelings to him , she waited for him to make the decision, FWB’s only works if both people are on the same page as things , Most people don’t like rushing into a relationship with someone , until they really get to know each other , So your friend was just waiting for him to make the decision , which was stupid of her to do on her part , He was just liking the convenience of her for sex , so if she wanted to be more with him? she should of opened her mouth and expressed her feelings toward him , but the fact that she didn’t? He probably just assumed she wanted nothing more than just sex and friendship with him as well. I had a few FWB’s with girls’ that were on the same page as me , we agreed to only have sex with each other and open to date others’ if we chose to , but agreed we couldn’t sleep with anyone else , but if we did? We agreed to end the benefits part and just remain friends. The first one I was ever in , she waited to long to express her feelings to me , because at the time I wasn't ready to settle down , I was enjoying being single and dating other girls’ as for her , she wasn’t dating anyone else which I didn’t know she wasn’t , she just assumed I was a mind reader , so eventually she met someone else and ended it with me and stopped calling me and talking to me. Leaving me with a question mark over my head , to later find out the truth , that she just wanted me and no one else , I blamed her for not opening her mouth to me. But it was too late. One thing I notice with most girls’ is they wait to express their feelings like the guy is supposed to know what’s on her mind and sadly she is digging her own grave with thinking that way. My last FWB’s opened her mouth and just wanted me and didn’t want me seeing anyone else , I ended up marrying her

Enginn · Accepted Answer

There can be various reasons why some guys may not prefer to transition from a friends with benefits or hookup situation to an official relationship. Some individuals may prioritize different types of relationships at different stages in their lives, and they may have personal preferences or experiences that influence their choices.

For some, the initial dynamic of a casual relationship might make it difficult to envision a more serious commitment. Others may simply not feel a strong emotional connection or compatibility beyond the physical aspect. Additionally, fear of commitment, past experiences with relationships, or personal values and goals can also play a role in their decision.

It's important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about your desires and expectations for the relationship. This can help both parties understand each other's perspectives and decide if they are on the same page regarding what they want moving forward. In any case, it's crucial that both individuals feel comfortable and respected in whatever type of relationship they choose to pursue.

Crimsyjo · Accepted Answer

It can happen. I had a friends with benefits that turned into an official relationship.

But generally there could be some reason that prevents a long term possibility so it's easier to enjoy eachother without getting too emotionally attached.

For instance... my FBs are in their 20's. There is no future possibility with the age gap.

Some just admit they don't want to share there life/space in that way.

Some may want kids in the future and the other won't. Or they are young (18-25) and don't plan to stay in same city/state/country forever. Their long term goals can't align.

A few may lack attraction but just think what the hell...

Loads of reasons.

midnightmoon05 · Accepted Answer

Because she doesn’t respect her own needs to have a full complete romantic relationship… she is okay to let the guy see other people. What guy doesn’t want to have that freedom till he finds one who he will commit to.
girls have cheapen love.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the classic dilemma of transitioning from friends with benefits (friends with benefits) to a full-blown romance! It's like trying to convince a cat that cucumbers aren't scary—tricky, but not impossible. The thing is, love, many guys (and gals, let's be equal opportunity here!) might hold back from labeling their friends with benefits as partner material due to a cocktail of reasons.

Firstly, there's the "convenience" factor. Some people enjoy the no-strings-attached setup because it's like having your cake and eating it too—delicious but without the commitment calories. They relish the companionship and intimacy without the pressure of traditional relationship milestones.

Secondly, societal expectations and stereotypes can play a villainous role. There's this outdated playbook that unfairly judges someone's "worth" based on their willingness to participate in a casual relationship. It's like saying if you're game for a casual fling, you can't possibly be material for a long-term love story. Total hogwash, of course!

Lastly, it might just boil down to personal readiness. Maybe our guy views the relationship as a comfortable pair of sneakers—great for the gym, but not what he'd wear to a wedding. It's not about the sneakers lacking sparkle; it's about what he feels ready for at that moment.

So, while it might sting a bit to see a friends with benefits situation not evolve into a romantic comedy finale, it's important to remember—everyone's on their own journey of figuring out what they want. And hey, who knows? Sometimes, those who are slow to label their feelings might just need a bit more time to realize that what they've been searching for has been there all along, sharing dances, smoke, and life's little moments. Keep the faith, and remember to always communicate your own needs and boundaries clearly. Love has a funny way of surprising us when we least expect it. 😉

V_Injector · Answer

Considering someone for a relationship is a very different judgment call from just judging if she can satisfy my sexual urges.

DishLady · Answer

You already gave the milk away for free, why buy the cow off you?

AviatorTom · Answer

Hookups and FWBs  are  official relationships... and all the guy is interested in.

RingOfFire · Answer

It seems interesting to me that you don't understand why a girl who has casual "friends with benefits" sex might not be very desirable as a girlfriend.

I think there are a lot of guys who would not have a lot of respect for a girl who did that and maybe that's why they don't want the relationship with them.

It may be hypocritical of the guy because after all he's doing the same thing she is. But that doesn't make her anymore attractive to him.

To me it just seems like another case of a girl being "too easy," and that's not really exciting to a lot of guys. Guys are hunters by nature, they like the thrill and the challenge of the hunt.

He's just basically using her like a sex toy to take care of a basic body function need.

A lot of guys would think that she is "not their type" if she was with them in that way.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

Because: Girlfriends are expensive and have baggage Fiancée's are a whole new level of stress Wives are incredibly expensive And there's a high probability that he'll lose half his stuff and end up paying alimony and child support for 18 years.

Anonymous · Answer

In the past, marriage was the goal of most men and women. Dating and being in committed relationships was a means to that end. But today, marriage is no longer the carrot it used to be because marriage is more hazardous for men, and less beneficial for men. Also, sex was a big motivator for men too, because casual sex was uncommon so sex within marriage was very appealing and something to look forward to after the wedding. But today, casual sex is the norm, and guys know they can get it without all the risks and costs of a relationship or marriage. Women have truly shot themselves in the foot here, and kind of messed it up for men, too.

Anonymous · Answer

I know it's cliche, but truer words were never spoken... women are the gatekeepers to sex and men are the gatekeepers to relationships. Why? Because sex can have far more negative consequences for women, and relationships can have far more negative consequences for men, especially today..

The problem you are feeling is a result of the fact that women have made relationships too dangerous and expensive for men, and sex too cheap.

Pardon the pun, but women are being forced to sleep in the bed they have made for themselves... and for men

Lionman95 · Answer

Because guys lose respect for a woman when she gives them sex without a price. As a woman loses respect for a guy when he puts her on a pedestral and does everything for her and breaks with his boundaries and puts her before himself a guy loses respect for a woman when she has sex with him and lets him see her naked for little to no effort.

HawkPerception · Answer

I personally don't understand dudes logic either. It's like saying "Hey I'm doing the same thing as you, but I look down on you and wouldn't choose to be with you for doing it. I'm looking for a girl better than myself."

Such a double standard. If they have that view in the first place, I'd say they aren't worth being with anyways. That's why you should avoid hookups in general. There's no winning. Unless your ONLY goal is to satisfy sexual urges.

Anonymous · Answer

Because to a man it sort of says how much she respects herself. You also wonder how many other dudes has she done this w. So those are the omen a lot of men just look at for fun, nothing ever serious. Plus there’s a good chance she’s hooked up w one of his boys. No man wants a girl who’s been w a friend of his or numerous friends of his.

Anonymous · Answer

Dudes like this don’t many times want a real relationship. A lot of them also pretend to be someone they’re not to decent women the same way sone girls play innocent but fuck around. It’s sad.

These men use women for sex. If you really think they want anything else at this point. Then obviously your learning curve is flat

bobby_bush_eater · Answer

I'm put it very bluntly, they view those types of girls like whores. Even if they do date a whore they don't want to know that she's a whore and if she does those things... well then he already knows from the start and there's nothing else to be gained.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Path of least resistance. If a guy just wants sex and a girl lets him without any sort of commitment, why would he obligate himself? It is a similar dynamic to living together. If he gets all the benefits of a wife without the obligations, why would he sign the marriage license?

Account · Answer

Because people tend to make specific categories in their minds and stick to them. That is why. Also if you were their "dream" girl, they wouldn't settle with you being just their friends with benefits. Just saying.

IslaTheWitch · Answer

good sex doesn't define a good relationship... for a relationship, much more is needed

Skinhead-1979 · Answer

Well... The relationship started off as a 'Friends-with-Benefits' one; for him that may well mean that he never had, as possibly never well have, deeper feelings for you.

blueonblack22 · Answer

This is on the woman to sit the expectations early in the relationship. Communicate that she likes him but they have to be officially dating before sex can happen.

yibec35562 · Answer

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avery58 · Answer

Because if they wanted a relationship with her they would have pursued it from the start. Some people just want easy sex.

Kelley1 · Answer

That is normal. Men date down for sex but they marry equals.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

The type of guy who settles down and gets married is not the type of guy to do hookups and friends with benefits casual sex.

BetaBucks · Answer

A lot of guys avoid relationships with girls that are into NSA sex. For various reasons.

Radiate143 · Answer

Because if they wanted that, they would have gone for that from the jump. Guys never promote women, only demote.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

The harsh answer is they don't trust you with their reputation.

Truthatanycost · Answer

The same reason why Gold is considered valuable...

gorydetails · Answer

Because the woman has decided she's ok with being a living fuck doll. Why should a guy give up that free lunch?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

People often confuse sex with love.  Just because a person likes having sex with someone doesn't necessarily mean they want to be with them.  It's soly for sexual purposes only.

Anonymous · Answer

sometimes i just like to have sex with a guy with no responsibilities, i'm sure they enjoy that kind of thing too

Pohjolan · Answer

Well for starters if said women were relationship material then they wouldn't agree to a friends with benefits arrangement in the first place.

Anonymous · Answer

Because there are girls you wife, and girls you pump and dump. friends with benefits's fit in the later category. You don't wife your friends with benefits.

noohair · Answer

You are not going to like my answer. They don't respect them. Guys see these girls as unpaid whores.

Nerdvana · Answer

So they can have sex with other girls at the same time.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Girl fall into two categories serious and sex only.

OhLongJohnsoning · Answer

Because friends with benefits, and hookups, are immoral

Anonymous · Answer

He might not respect her in that way if she was willing to give her body up so casually.

Anonymous · Answer

Because they aren't interested in your hearts or minds, they are just interested in you because to them you're 3 warm, moist places to...

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Because you proved that you are too easy.

Lynx122 · Answer

Cause she's not girlfriend material.

jahaims · Answer

They don't respect them

Mike6658 · Answer

They might see them as fuckable but not datiable

Anonymous · Answer

For the same reason women do.

Why don't guys prefer to have an official relationship with girls whom they had a friends with benefits relationship or a hookup with?

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Why do most guys choose friends with benefits over relationship?

Why don't guys prefer to have an official relationship with girls whom they had a friends with benefits relationship or a hookup with?

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Why do most guys choose friends with benefits over relationship?

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