How much motivation do you need to find a partner?

[Anonymous]

Because I have absolutely NO motivation to go out and find someone. It sounds exhausting. To be honest, I don’t know how y’all do it.

[blueonblack22]

Welcome to the man’s world. This is how it is for 90%+ of us. Sink or swim.

Anyway being a woman you don’t necessarily have to stick your neck out as much as your male counterpart does. However you could make yourself more visible where single men are around. This includes doing fun activities where you might run into them.

You also can just smile and say hello to a guy you are interested. The worst that can happen is he ignores you. But if he’s interested as well chances are he will engage a conversation. Just let him know it’s safe for him to approach. That’s all you have to do.

[Asker]

I just don’t like people very much. You wouldn’t catch me attending any activities or events.

[blueonblack22]

I don’t either. But I know that NOTHING will happen unless I make it happen. It’s how it is for the vast majority of guys. Even back when I was in my best physical looks prime it was STILL on me to approach women whether I wanted to or not if I wanted to make something happen.

I did get approached by women a few times but tbh I didn’t find 80% of them attractive (I was friendly given they were nice ladies though). And the 20% of the attractive ones who did approach I had to be cautious about. Some had ulterior motives (making the guy she really liked jealous).

[Asker]

If you don’t like people, you don’t have to approach anybody.

[blueonblack22]

I would say I dislike everybody. But I don’t enjoy meaningless chatter. Don’t enjoy talking the sake of talking.

Still you are failing to see the difference here. If I don’t approach anyone and/or take some sort of risk I will remain single for life. Women generally don’t need to stick their necks out the same way men do. They just need to make themselves visible. That’s it.

[Asker]

Well, that’s the difference between you and I. I don’t want men to notice me. I don’t want to be visible.

[blueonblack22]

@Peridot25 well that’s an easy choice. Just hole up.

But I swear more and more women (and some men) are so terrified of the risk of being uncomfortable they are shortchanging themselves opportunities for true happinesses. Valueable people rarely appear out of nowhere in your life.

But if you want to self isolate suite yourself. But deep down you know there is really no real substitute out there for having a true romantic partner in your life.

[imtiaz45]

Finding a partner doesn't necessarily require motivation as much as it requires being open, self-aware, and ready for a relationship. It's important to be in a good place emotionally and mentally, where you feel confident and content with who you are. Motivation might come from a desire for companionship, love, or shared experiences, but it's also okay to be patient and let things unfold naturally. The key is to focus on building connections, enjoying the journey, and being true to yourself rather than forcing something to happen.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/B-prhvB7dIQ

[DishLady]

Motivation has to come from deep inside you. It should be something instinctive that you truly want. Even if it’s dormant, it should be “awakened” when you meet the right person.


Also, try not to go shopping for “a partner” right off the bat. Aim for a nice guy who is compatible enough for a date and a conversation and build your way up from there. It prevents you from getting to caught up with a guy too soon.

[Kelley1]

I am highly motivated to get married. Almost every weekend, at SMU, I go to parties to meet guys. Moreover, since pretty girls are never denied entry, sometimes, on weekends, I go to nearby colleges, ask around to find where there is a party, and crash the party. I always fit right in with the college students at other colleges.

[Asker]

It’s funny you think guys at college parties are looking a wife.

[Kelley1]

Outside of classes that is where college students meet.

[Asker]

I feel like this is made up.

[sawno]

Is the type of guy your looking for the type of guy who goes to parties? If not, try doing what you imagine he'd be doing because I always associate parties with hookups.

[Kelley1]

@sawno If that is what you are looking for, you might find it. Most college students go to parties. Primarily parties are a place to meet, relax, and socialize. This photo is typical:

[ohsheeT]

I agree with you it does get hard sometimes and I just got through taking care of somebody for a couple years and. And I really didn't have a love life during this time but they just passed and I have to regroup find myself again. But in this moment I have other things to worry about and take care of it before I can start doing that again

[Dongie]

So sorry to hear of that.

[TheRealPepperPotts]

What are you looking for with this question? It sounds like you don't want to find someone, which is absolutely fine. Are you wanting validation for your decision or something?

[dustybiker2]

My goal was never to find a partner so I wasn't alone to fit some social norm. If I met someone who challenged me to be better self and excited me then they would have my attention. But a relationship was always a life bonus not requirement for me. Would have been just as happy riding horses every free moment.

[IslaTheWitch]

I've never looked for a partner... I focused on meeting and getting to know people...

and they just happened... they just were between people I got to know, and we shared common interests, sense of humor, ideas and opinions... and we clicked :D

[PeachyPie93]

I used to be really motivated and craved love. Now tho I feel love is just a waste of time, since I feel I do a lot better by myself. I hate having to deal with the needs of others when they don't care about my needs. I rather just spend my time alone or with family since it's more peaceful and fulfilling.

[Dongie]

Man, if you run upon a friend that happens to be outgoing to those he likes and you find yourself caught when you fall then he turns out to be a boy about the right age and somewhat cute... uh-oh.

[sawno]

At your age i'd say some motivation, people will easily assume your already taken. So putting yourself out there will be needed. If you don't you have to wait for random approaches which happens less and less with age, and happens less and less in society in general. At minimum put yourself on an app or something so people know your available.

[The_Confusion]

I'm pretty motivated pretty much year-round to go and... not find partners. But just be a normal person who doesn't have to seek partners.

[Sugar100]

I’ve met 500 guys all year and no guy wants a girlfriend & meet family, they only want sex. I’m exhausted and I gave up true love don’t exist.
One guy suppsivly wants girlfriend wife babies but I don’t like him. Feeling is not mutual. So he’s also not right guy.
I lost interest for men I will no longer talk or speak to any guy anymore.

[Dongie]

I bet😮😂🤣🤣

[ProbablyClueless]

Not a ton, at this point. But I'm also not encountering very many women who inspire even that low level of intrigue

I think the biggest issue for me is that I finally have a sense of peace in my life, so the way I hear your question is asking what it would take to risk my sense of peace.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I have plenty of motivation, but no effective methods of searching.

Every woman I'd like thats not already taken, would be at her home being an indoor hobby person. I'm not going to meet them by going out.

I might meet them online, but the populace is overwhelming to sift through, and most cases of a match are random chance.

I've had matches before but they were in other countries.

[Anonymous]

I am a machine. Once when I was making love... to my wife Donna. On top a her; powerful thrusts, filling the sultry night air. Heavy breath. My step daughter Gabriela walked in, little girl. My wife sprung out of bed and said "No, Gabriela! Leave!" And I said "No, honey, shut your mouth, let him watch." Let her watch what is being consecrated here.

[Asker]

Are you really this bored to make up crap like that?

[Crazzyyworld]

It looks like people look for money and comfort. It’s like buying a house or car or something. I am fine without it. I look very young and I feel young. I don’t need anyone. I recently found some friends and I am close to my family who needs me. That’s all I need.

[luvstoned4him]

I dont look anymore, I just do enjoyable things, help people, gain new skills and live life. The right person would find you when the time is right

[Unit1]

More than what I can monetarily expend, that's for sure. At least many pinks here make me feel like that.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

You need this kind of motivation.

[RavVid]

You do need to get out of bed for it and do all the primping stuff that is obligatory for girls. I like to see a bit of effort has gone in.

[Asker]

Ugh! No way 😫 Too much work

[lightbulb27]

A lot!
Its more about being your best self and enjoying life. Might be able to find someone else to do that with.

[exitseven]

Nothing good ever just jumps into your lap while you are sitting there

[Asker]

But, people are so mentally exhausting. They drain my energy.

[Account]

I dont do it nor do I entertain it. I just don't want to.

[Jojojojojojojo]

I feel the same. Plus lots of creeps out there. Filtering requires energy and times…

[es20490446e]

No motivation needed.

Just do activities you enjoy.

[paledreams]

Not much yet I daydream and I'm now self absorbed in my 30s

[Dongie]

Who's y'all?
I haven't actively searched for any in a long, long time. You were probably not on this planet or any other.

[Dongie]

Well, I guess you were, but you were not screwing yet the last time I searched the dark streets.

[LiamJHayden]

I am motivated when I want a partner. Right now I am content working on my business, making music, and surfing.

[dudegreat91]

Yeah also dating someone mediocre doesn't cut it anymore. I should really like her otherwise she's out lol

[Jay-_-]

I have zero motivation for a partner as of right now.

[dsrice071966]

I agree with you, I have not been looking and do not desire to look. If someone approaches me then I will listen.

[NathanDavis]

I don't need any... it just happens

[Asker]

How do others do it? How do they have that much energy? Maybe I really introverted 😂

[Asker]

*really am

[Nerdvana]

I used to. Not anymore.

[noohair]

Keeping one is harder that finding one.

[Anonymous]

Having sex is pretty good motivation.

[Simslover92]

I'm done.

[Anonymous]

All of it.