Why would my hubby say, he would kill himself if I leave him?

[Anonymous]

My husband been acting weird lately, he is in debt and the only breadwinner, we live in very expensive city. I used to take care of us financially as i had better income, then I resigned last year after having our 3rd baby.

We still go out a lot and spend family time together, he always get me these spa vouchers in the mist luxurious hotels and do these little nice things for me but he has this habit of always on his laptop/phone whe he is home, doing trading, or texting and then going out at night and never tell his whereabouts. He would come home late and get offended when I get mad at him for not checking in. I don't trust him, I caught him years ago, talking to girls online, and being flirty to mostly half-naked girls and just found out he still follows the same type of girls. I want to find a job and save money and leave him and I'm shoked that he told me he would kill himself.

[Anonymous]

It’s very concerning he’s saying this. He’s obviously not happy and if he’s cheated before chances are he’s doing it again and has been.

Even if it was just online when the opportunity comes up for it to happen in real life he probably will. You need to divorce if he does. If he keeps making threats he needs mental help

[Avicenna]

You know him best, what do you think? Sounds like he feels a lot of pressure and assumes you'll leave him.

[Asker]

He has been crying a lot since I told him I want to leave 💔

[Avicenna]

Then it's a sign of enormous emotional stress

[Anonymous]

You're probably his biggest, most reliable and probably only supporter. He's very dependent on you at this point. He also doesn't believe he can find anyone foolish enough to fall for him, his lies and his deceit to manipulate.

[Anonymous]

Insanely immature. He's trying to guilt you into staying, and very dramatically. Perhaps it even started back getting you to quit your job knowing you wouldn't be in a position to leave. I'd call the bluff, personally.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the tangled webs we weave in relationships, right? 🕸️ It sounds like you're navigating some pretty tricky waters with your hubby's dramatic declaration. Him saying he'd harm himself if you left is a classic manipulation tactic, heavy on the guilt trip to keep you tethered. It's a red flag 🚩blowing fiercely in the wind of your relationship storm.

Let's talk about love, support, and boundaries. Even amidst the whirlwind of debts, secretive nights out, and questionable online behavior, taking a stand for your happiness is key. It's fantastic you're thinking of regaining your financial independence; it's a strong step towards empowerment.

Your hubby's blend of lavish affection and troubling behavior is confusing, but remember, actions speak louder than words (or in this case, spa vouchers). His threats are a call for help but they're also unfairly putting the weight of his well-being on your shoulders. It's important for both of you to seek professional support—separately. He needs to address his emotional blackmail and you could benefit from someone guiding you through setting healthy boundaries.

Remember, navigating through this requires compassion for yourself and for him, but not at the expense of your own well-being. Stay strong, and remember, you're not responsible for his actions, only your own happiness and safety. Keep that sparkle in your heart, even in tough times. ✨

[spartan55]

Common manipulation tactic. The next time he says that call the police and ask them to do a wellness check when you aren't home. That will stop his bullshit.

[Yannae]

Because he's manipulative which is a toxic trait. If you want to leave him, do it. You said you caught him cheating and you don't trust him anymore. Trust is one of the things you need in a relationship and that isn't there anymore. Leave him anyway. The threat is to keep you from making better decisions in life. And... if he does commit, which he probably won't, it's not your fault. That is his call.

[DrPepper12]

You're being manipulated by his mental health issues. Be direct. It's not on you if he harms himself but get him in counseling before you drop the hammer

[OddBeMe]

Well…being a depressive and passive aggressively selfish, I have said similar things. But then I apologized.

[Fireguy17]

Drama queen.
It is a form of control.

[Alex-Snow]

He is trying to quilt you. He needs to grow up.

[jahaims]

To manipulate you obviously

[LiamJHayden]

Manipulation.

[legalboxers]

call the cops