Do you consider serial monogamists (and with kids of other partners) unstable people?

[Anonymous]

Neither of my close friends nor family can understand this man that claims to have been with 12 live-in gfs. All of them eventually ending in break-ups. Even my father and a couple other men consider him emotional unstable with issues. There was a man that got 4 past gfs pregnant and my family thought he was the biggest idiot ever.

Similarly a woman that gets married, has kids with the man, divorces, remarries and has kids with another man, divorces again and marries another man is seen as unstable to us too. Or a woman with 3 kids of 3 different men.

I'm wondering what is so good about constantly changing people, jumping from relationship to relationship like no tomorrow and even having kids with different partners? Do you consider serial monogamist unstable people? What's the point of even having a girlfriend/boyfriend, only to be unable to form a lasting bonding?

[Sunnysunny123]

I think a lot of the times it is affected by social media and comparing yourself and your partner to others. I get that sometimes people get mareied and later in life they figure that they can't be together anymore but people who just keep doing it i don't undrestand. Ofc noone thinks about divorce when they get mareied but people think they live in social media and not in real life, they cheat, they don't respect, they don't care about their kids or wives and husbands. I would not have respect for someone that neglects their children if a man told me he has kids with different women that conversation is over for me i will not date someone like that because why would i think someone will commit to me when he didn't commit to multiple women before?

People spend too much time scrolling on social media they forget what is reality. A lot of men don't trust women just because they see on social media that some women cheat, have OF, only want rich men, they forget that in reality there is not a big percentage of women who actually do all that. It is same for relationships.

[DishLady]

Well typically a “serial monogamist” doesn’t go up that high as far as numbers/“body count” are concerned. This guy’s just a sicko.


I know a guy out in TX who’s been in three relationships. Each woman came into the relationship with kids and at the breakup he kept the kids and ditched the moms… Like the moms were either sent off to prison or some looney farm and the kids stayed on with the guy… TOTALLY ODD.


Just another cautionary tale for dummies who commit to guys before knowing their MO….

[HawkPerception]

12? How old is this guy? Sorry to say, but I definitely wouldn't trust a guy that's had 12 girls that he's lived with. That relationship isn't gonna last. He clearly has some issues or he's choosing the wrong girls and I highly doubt it's the latter.

I've had 3 girlfriends at 30 years old and I've lived with none of them, although I haven't had my own place as of yet.

I don't know... maybe I'm blowing it out of proportion and judging the guy based on my standards, but 12 does seem a bit too high for me.

[Asker]

Exactly. If I were that guy's date and he told me that, I'll be heading the towards the exit door faster. Someone that has a track of selecting the wrong partner repeatedly, falling for the same mistakes. That's not a mistake by then.

[Finchie40]

Yes and the people that end up in a relationship with them , are unstable as well. I know a guy that is on his 4th marriage , and he has kids with 3 of the girls’ he was with. and doesn’t really bother with his kids from his previous marriages , not only is he an unstable moron the girls’ that fall for him are as well. When someone has that kind of track record? What makes someone think they are a good catch?

[Asker]

yeah there is something just not right with them. Someone that fails their vetting process so badly, falls for the same mistake over and over and even has children with different partners says something about them.

[Finchie40]

Yes someone that has that kind of track record definitely has something wrong with them. I can understand 2 marriages but 3, 4, 5 ,6 etc. that to me is insane. And the people that fall for that person are insane as well. It blows my mind on how pathetic people can be. I had a group of friends that would end up with the same girl , like once she broke up with one of them , she would end up with another then another , not only was she pathetic , my friends were as well , why I pretty much distanced myself from that group of friends and realized how pathetic they were , some of them tried going after my ex girlfriends , and I told them they were fucked up people. There are plenty of fish in the sea , go catch your own. Me personally would t be with a girl that all my friends had before me , I find it to be disrespectful and it shows someone’s true character of who they truly are , Desperate

[AI Opinion]

Diving into the whirlpool of love, heartbreak, and new beginnings, aren't we? Let's swim together! 🏊‍♂️ First things first, love is a complex beast, and everyone's journey is as unique as their fingerprint. Now, onto the serial monogamists with a bouquet of relationships and a blend of families under their belts—calling them unstable might be a tad simplistic.

Why? Because the heart wants what it wants. And sometimes, it wants a lot! Some folks are eternal optimists, forever believing in the power of love, always ready to dive back into its warm embrace, despite the scars of past heartaches. It's their unyielding hope and craving for connection that propels them forward. Is it a rollercoaster? Absolutely. But who are we to judge the ride someone else chooses?

As for the blending of families, life’s rich tapestry is woven with various threads—some colorful, some tangled. Yes, navigating relationships and parenting across this spectrum can be like tightrope walking in a hurricane. Yet, for some, these experiences are just chapters in their epic saga of love and learning.

Understanding, compassion, and a touch of curiosity might just reveal the beauty in these seemingly chaotic patterns of love and life. After all, isn't the world a better place with a little more love, even if it comes in unexpected packages? Let's not shut the door on understanding the depth and breadth of human emotions and experiences. Keep the conversation and your heart open—you might just be surprised by what you find. 💘

[TheRealPepperPotts]

Um... I don't think I'd be telling everyone I chose wrong twelve times. :D

[Asker]

This. There is nothing good to brag about choosing wrong twelve times, same mistake over and over again.

[BetaBucks]

A serial monogamist doesn't necessarily have short relationships. But if anyone has kids with multiple people, they seem unstable to me. And if anyone has many short relationships, they seem unstable.

I'm a serial monogamist, and I've had a 1.5 year relationship, and 6 year relationship and a 15 year relationship/marriage. And only had kids in this marriage. I formally lived with the two longest relationships, and pretty much lived with the first one, but I was a minor, so not formally. If anything my relationships are more stable than any other guy I know.

[Asker]

yeah 12 live-in relationships is too much. That seems like someone that keeps selecting wrong, keeps falling for the same mistake over and over.

[BetaBucks]

For damn sure. Or, they have some switch that gets flipped after six months and they destroy all their relationships. I know a guy like that. Legitimately incapable of lasting past about 4 or 5 months. And he falls in love every time. At first...

[Asker]

Your last part says it even more. Perhaps he's focusing on just the infautation part and thinks a lasting relationship is just base on the ''falling in love'' stage and once it fades, he realizes it's more than just physical attraction and seeing them as perfect. He doesn't love them, he just loves the ideal of falling in love.

[BetaBucks]

Yep. And I bet that applies to the 12 relationship guy too. He just likes the "newness."

[rparks]

I don't consider them unstable people. Relationships take work, and relationships are hard, and they also take two people. You don't know what is going on in that persons life or with their relationship or what might have happened in the past. One of their partners could have been abusive, one of their partners could have died, one of their partners could have cheated. So before going on to be judgmental about someone else or their life, maybe consider the road they have walked down instead. Sometimes the other person has chosen to leave them, heartbroken and confused at what went wrong, even if they were the best partner in the world.

I'm not saying that this person in question isn't emotionally unstable, because I don't know them, or their life, or what they've been through. But I would say take the time to get to know them for who they are, ask questions about what happened and learn more about the person for yourself instead of what other people say about them.

[Asker]

But if you keep selecting wrong over and over and falling for the same mistake, that says something about the person. 12 live-in gfs that all end in break-up would mean falling for the same mistake and failing to even do a vetting process.

[RavVid]

I have known two girls like this. One of them worked her way through every single guy at my local cafe - other than myself.

I would have liked to have taken my turn with her too as she was cute despite being in her thirties. But the instability in her convinced me not to establish a sexual relationship. She was as mad as a cut snake so don't regret my decision.

[LoveHotGrillz]

From a male perspective, the point is sex. "Lasting bonds" are something that women seem to care about, but we (men) don't really give a shit about stuff like that. We just love sex with girls.

That is why you see men sleeping around everywhere. We like sex with women. It really is that simple. I don't get why thats so difficult for women to understand that.

[Asker]

Impregnating 4 different past gfs (and them filing child support against you) is carelessness on his part too. That's stupid of him.

[Cuminginside]

Whether it's right or wrong we live in very strange times like the movie.

[MyBrainsInsaneReign]

I think a person who gets monogamous with serial must be very emotionally unstable.

Don't get me wrong. I love serial as much as anyone. I love it for breakfast, or an afternoon snack. I love it in a bowl with milk, or straight out of the box. I love serial. But I don't think serial would ever be able to meet my long-term emotional needs.

Serial is great for a lot of things, but it can never be a satisfactory life-partner.

[spartan55]

If you're not living with them and understand how birth control works it isn't a sign of being unstable to me.

[Asker]

I wonder how someone can keep selecting the wrong person so many times (hence why there is a break-up eventually), fall for the same mistake over and over. That says something about the person.

[FreyaRed]

Children who need a new toy every day. No moral, no empathy, no remorse. It's a society of rats

[Berethor]

I don't like single moms if that what you asking, it hard to trust one, and the baggage.

[Asker]

My family judges equally. To them any man or woman that has children with multiple partners is unstable and not suitable to form a lasting relationship.

[DrPepper12]

Multiple kids different men? Odd and not for me
Serial monogamy? Why bother. Weird

[Anonymous]

You'd understand this much more if you thought of it through an evolutionary biology perspective.

[LiamJHayden]

What you describe, yes.

[smurfwrangler]

I don't think you understand how evolution works

[Asker]

We're not in the caveman times era anymore.

[smurfwrangler]

it's comments like that that make me think you're retarded

[Asker]

If I'm looking for a serious, long lasting relationship then it's obviously a man that had 12 lived-in gfs or has multiple kids with different women isn't going to last in the relationship.