Yes, I believe it is realistic. I believe the reason some of us may feel that it is not, is due to the fact that previous experiences make it seem that way.
The first thing that comes to mind is what kind of relationship you are seeking. We either want to be in a committed relationship with one person (monogamy) or we prefer to explore and/or have multiple partners. (Dating and/or polyamory)
In my opinion, the problem is that some people tend to want to "explore" or try out polyamory AFTER they have been in a relationship. It happened to me, during my marriage. I got married with the intension of being monogamous. This is what I wanted and this is what I worked toward. As for my ex-spouse, she made the mistake of bringing this up after we got married, instead of saving me the pain to discuss it before.
There is nothing wrong with being polyamory if that is what you want. Just make sure to not bestow it onto another person whom is not interested. It's evil. Because from my experience, I can tell you right now, most of us do prefer monogamy for a variety of reasons. And lastly, it is difficult as it is to find that one significant other. Imagine trying to find two or three at the same time.
Yes monogamy is realistic. Most people want a faithful partner, a cheating spouse is one of the many reasons why divorce rates are high and why people tend to have trust and commitment issues when it comes to relationships. As competitive as men are, they don't like the idea of sharing their woman with another man. The harsh responses to an unfaithful lover from society is proof that people in general hate the idea of sharing a lover.
I would never share my husband with anyone. The second someone plays with the idea of polygamy/open relationships, is a sign to run from such person. It creates hostility and jealousy. If that's something you can put up with then by all means do it, but don't expect others to be on board.
People trying to make monogamy a thing of the past are in it for their selfish reasons. They are thinking about their own best interest, they want to have their cake and eat it to. Then they question why their relationships are dead end roads and just unfulfilled. Its because there's no real commitment and no real love between just you and that person. We live in society where people now practice the religion of me and only me with no real morals. A society where people have gotten absolutely lazy with their relationships with others, and instead communicating and trying to make it work. They rather toss it then run away. It's all sad. It's crazy how humanity keeps proving everything that God said to be true.
I've discovered I'm alright with a brand of non-monogamy. I'm still exploring what that means and looks like and it depends heavily on what my partner finds acceptable.
After my first ex cheated on me, I realize (apart from the worry of what STDs he might expose me to) my problem was less with the act of sleeping with amother and more a problem with the lack of trust and communication.
If my partner came to me and said they wanted to try something with someone else - especially if it was something I'm not able or willing to provide (e. g. anal or a dick) - I'm okay as long as we agree to ground rules and boundaries.
I've been in a committed relationship and managed LDR non-monogamy fine, allowing an overseas friend to control my Lovense toy with my (now ex) partner's approval.
Honestly as long as good communication, trust, and romantic monogamy are preserved, I think sex can be just a fun activity done with those you trust and appreciate.
Divorce rates arnt the only issue in the table with polygamy. Throughout history when polygamy was a thing the best men had all the women and the numbers of what we call incels today were numerous. This has lead to civil war and societal collapse many times in the past.
It’s proven women calm men from their more violent sides and men force accountability on women. You take away both with polygamy. You wanna lower divorce rates consider taking away no fault divorce. Back in the, oh I think 20s, you could only divorce by meeting with the house lol. It shouldn’t be possible to leave a marriage because your no longer in love or lacking in feelings. Sorry but you have to be held to your vows.
Men and women just have to make better choices. Some will fail but others… others will only succeed because their not given another option.
Opinion
67Opinion
u Of ocourse monogamy is realistic. It has worked for many people for thousands of years. Contemporary people do not have realistic expectations for marriage and they also lack commitment. Monogamy isn't a perpetual motion machine. Relationships need attention and effort. Choose the right partner, make the effort, and a relationship will work.
It has been several years, but I remember reading a study somewhere that said less than 1% of the human population has the mindset to make poly work. Understand I honestly don't care what other people do. I basically live a poly lifestyle. I am not married and NEVER will be. Here's the thing and I highly advise everybody to listen up. If you and your partner are not in that 1% I spoke of poly will blow up in your face at some point. I am in my 60s today. Over the past 20+ years, I am yet to see a poly relationship go the distance. Far too many people look at poly as "legal" cheating. I don't have the time or space to write this out fully so I will just leave it at this. For those in that 1% a poly lifestyle can be fulfilling. I just advise you to make damn sure BOTH yourself and the partner are in that 1% before you go do something you will regret for the REST of your life!
Yes. It's the only workable solution because everything else pretty much fails.
The evidence? Most of my family has been married for more than 40 years (mum and dad and uncles/aunts) staying with the same partner. Aside from setting a good foundation for having a family there are also the financial benefits to a monogamous relationship. As both spouses work to pay off their debts and create savings for retirement and see kids/family grow up, their love will only get stronger as time goes on because of what they've been through.
@Silver158 Nope, not afaik
@Silver158 Your reply is a non sequitur. It is like saying I won't deposit money in a bank because it can be robbed. Also, I think you might be equating someone who has a broken personality with someone that is poly. Cheaters cheat, it is what they do. Trying to equate cheating as a flaw with monogamy is like saying the internal combustion engine is a bad idea because it can break down. Now, don't take my comment as saying I am against a poly lifestyle. Trust me, I am poly. I am also not married and have no intention of ever getting married. However, poly is an alternate lifestyle that a VERY small minority can make work!
Monogamy makes the most sense.
Our human attention span is not that good at multi-tasking and evenly spreading love and affection to multiple partners at once. Even mothers struggle to spread their love to her children, because someone's going feel left out. Hell, it's difficult to maintain a monogamous relationship... so what makes us think we can even handle more?
It's just how we are.
Besides, you can always find an old monogamous couple still living together. I have yet to see that with any other type of relationship.
To define this word is mono mean one so monogramy is "the practice or state of having a sexual relationship with only one partner."so if that's what your reference to than yes I believe that's how things should be their is no need for a polyogrmay relationship to happen. its better to only date one person God use to want us to date multiple a people that just spreads diseases which is just disgusting in our day an age. know God wants us to only have one person which is great! I don't believe it's ok with my spirit nor my stomach. only have one person that will love, cherish, appreciate, you in throughout your insecurities and flaws. he should love you through thick and than ladies never forget that.
@bennies_819 For women I could see th IG s working for men it's a bad idea to limit yourself to one woman.
If that's what you want but I don't believe in that.
@bennies_819 aren't you a woman?
Yes, and? I can answer the question can I not?
@bennies_819 Of course, however my point is as a women we already know your answer. Women want one man because they understand that they are going to have an abundance of options all the time. Men have to understand that if you limit yourself to one women when it goes bad there's not always going to be another one ready. That's why its important for guys to have a solid roster. in my opinion a guy should always keep a minimum of 3 chicks in his rotation if he wants to be truly happy w/ women.
Spreading yourself thin is only diluting what you have to offer. The reason monogamy doesn't work is people tend to be too self-focused to be healthy partners. Their perceived entitlement to receive is more important to them than focusing on what they can bring to the relationship. As long as people choose to be takers rather than givers, both what they give and what they receive will be empty.
I choose to commit 100%, and I can't give 100% to multiple people. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone who is only willing to commit 50% or less? A swinging lifestyle can work for those who separate sex from their emotional connection, viewing sex as no more than going to see a movie... just temporary entertainment.
It's simple maths and odds.
What are the odds of you finding someone who completes you as close to perfect as possible?
What are the odds of you finding two such people who are also okay with each other?
Not saying open relationships can't work, but they by nature need to be less possessive and more relaxed in their interpersonal relations.
And everyone who claims to be up for an open relationship is not necessarily ready to give up their possessive nature towards their partners. And now you have the same issues monogamous relationships have to deal with, except there's three or more people in the mix.
Look around, you don't even need to ask that silly question.
Over 50% divorce rate and just as high infidelity rate. Over a 40 year period, 67% of first marriages will end, and most will end within 8 years. And that's just FIRST marriages. Second marriages and beyond will end at an even HIGHER rate.
Lifelong Monogamy is a pipe-dream and a myth perpetrated upon humanity to fatten the pockets of the marriage industry (rings, cakes, honeymoons, etc..) and then fatten the pockets of the divorce industry (divorce court, judges, etc..). Read the book SEX AT DAWN by Cacilda Jetha and Christopher Ryan too.
I think it's very realistic. If you have genuinely made an emotional and sexual bond with another human being, it would be very exhausting to try to connect with another person. Unless the sex is totally just for kicks and giggles, which certainly might be the case, I don't see most people wanting to put in that kind of effort.
I'm an extremely non-possessive person. I wouldn't care if my girlfriend had the occasional hookup on the side (provided that she was being safe and I had the freedom to do the same thing). But I don't really see something like that happening, because having casual sex just isn't something that I could see accompanying an emotionally fulfilling relationship.
I already answered this yesterday, those who think that polygamy is beneficial for society simply do not know their history.
Monogamy was established to solve several problems that polygynous societies had, the most important being male intrasexual competition and parental investment.
Cultural evolution selected monogamy due to its beneficial effects.
Monogamy suppresses intrasexual competition and reduces the number of single men, which lowers crime rates, including rape, murder, assault, robbery, and fraud.
By shifting male efforts from finding wives to paternal investment, normative monogamy increases savings, child investment, and economic productivity.
By increasing relatedness within households, monogamy reduces conflict within the household, leading to lower rates of child neglect, abuse, accidental death, and homicide.
Open relationships?
They are happier than monogamous ones.
My wife and i have a rule, we can have sex with other people, Just sex.
No dates, spending time, only sex. With others.
We have ben together for years, And she even had other mens babys,
They knocked her up, But i raise the kids.
nobody we know. Has any clue we are in an open relationship,
itl become obvious when the kids get a little older and dont look anything like me and they all look different
Statisticly, married people are happier than unmarried people.
The problem is no fault divorce has made it so that a woman can cheat, get divorced, and take half of everything without consequences. Women initiate 80% of all divorces. Less than 2% of which are from abuse. Women have been taught that if you have issues, you throw it away, you don't bother working out your issues. Basically marriage means less and less the further left a woman leans, to the point where it might as well not exist at all.
Monogamous relationships are the building blocks of society. Remove that and we return to tribalism.
What do you think happens when most men have no women and few men have most women?
A shitshow is what. Men won't cooperate with each other and things will fall appart.
Monogamy allowed to cooperate better as men.
If women revert to harems, things will fall apart.
Never had an open relationship, however me and my girlfriend had talked about stuff like that. It's one of those things where it might be hot to fuck another girl while my girlfriend gets fucked. But at the same time, it's only natural to think maybe she is enjoying it more than she does having sex with you. She did mention she wouldn't mind seeing another girl give me pleasure, but it would have to be someone we didn't know, and that she couldn't have my cum lol. So basically she was good with it as long as I didn't cum in/on the girl and only finished on her. We are both super sexual and don't mind trying new things. If I ever agreed to it, there would have to be complete honesty about it, and I think respect for if I didn't want her having sex with a certain guy or she didn't want me having sex with a certain girl. Not sure I would like the whole her just going out and getting fucked without it being both of us doing it together.
Absolutely. I live in a pretty liberal community, and somehow people still feel entirely comfortable dissing polyamory. I think some people are monogamous and some people are polyamorous just like some people are gay and some people are straight. And some people are curious, or are living far away from their partners I think there are lots of reasons to be in a polyamorous relationship.
A person who wants polygamy wants the best of both worlds. To keep their current partner and screw whoever else they want. Disregarding the fact you are bringing potential std’s into the relationship and disrespecting your primary partner, it brings nothing but drama and will never last.
There is no universal solution for everyone. Some people are more content and more successful with monogamy. Others are more content and more successful with polygamy. It’s important to know these things about ourselves when going into a relationship, because neither is realistic if you’re not communicating and understanding each other.
Yes, it is the most realistic and beneficial set up for society.. Most people don't care for open relationships because naturally we get jealous of what's "ours" going off elsewhere.. Plus open relationships seem to benefit women more than men, and would leave more men single, therefore creating a lot of frustrated single males..
no, monogamy is a good thing, otherwise you wouldn't know who is sleeping with whom, would they be home at night.
It's a good theng.
There are other issues that lead to divorce besides being with the same person for life.
It goes deeper than that.
I dont believe in open relationships tbh, i think theyre messy and it should just be friends with benefits at that point. But what ever people have to do to be happy ig. Personally i prefer and believe in monogamy more for a number of reasons. For me sex is better with an emotional connection and when you know its just you two sharing that part of yourselves. Thats just me
LMFAO! "Open relationships" don't fail because they're not socially acceptable. No one gives a shit what your fucking arrangement is. They fail because they're unacceptable to one of the people IN the relationship. It has pretty much ZERO to do with social acceptance or lack thereof. They fail because they don't work for the vast, VAST majority of individuals.
I strongly prefer monogamy. I believe that any type of open relationship, regardless of whether everyone involved is aware, is still cheating and still morally wrong. I’m too jealous of an individual to even consider open relationships. I would feel absolutely unloved and extremely upset at the mere mention, let alone consideration. I’d much rather stay single if it means I can’t have one loyal partner.
Nobody said life is easy. Its one or the other. You can’t have both. Their are positives and negatives for each one. While an open relationship is fun, it’s short lived happiness. If you’re truly in love with someone, you won’t even think of the words “open relationship.”
God lays it out in the Bible. We’re essentially performing for him our whole life and graded when we die.
For a lot of people it's not, they just repress their nature, cheat, get caught, end their relationship and start over again and again.
Serial monogamy with cheating, both cowardly and mediocre.
I suggest integrating your shadow self and living s more authentic life.
I practice polyamory and would be happy to discuss it further.
there wouldn't be so much lying, though I have had a lover since marriage, and I think an open marriage could be good, there are too many buts for it to be acceptable,
1/ Monogamy has to be if and or when you want children, look at what may happen;
Unlike a regular relationship you can have other partners, but unlike a open one you and everyone else involved only have partners that everyone else consent to and then you all stay true to those.
So for instance, you could have two male partners, and one of them another female one other then you, but other than those 4 people there's no one else involved.
If any of you had a relationship with anyone outside that relationship it's still cheating.
Many people practise monogamy. Many Christian sects (apart from Mormonism) ban polygamy. Many people would get jealous of their spouse with another spouse. However, polygamy should be legalised. Love of two is one. Some just can’t handle only one spouse. I’ve no problem with open relationships.
Open relationships work for some, but most people are uncomfortable with the idea. I think it depends on one's view of sex -- for some it's very emotional, while others not so much.
I think monogamy is beautiful. It is a platform to build intimacy. There is nothing better than two people that belong to each other and no other person comes between them.
Monogamy is for grown adults who see that life is more than just a string of orgies till the day you die. Good luck raising a child in a non monogamous setting.
I do believe monogamy can work and I think that often it's because people are unwilling to address issues in relationships.
I have no issues with people having an open relationship but it's a deal breaker for me. And I'd also be annoyed if I dated someone in an open relationship due to them not telling me.
I agree and that would be a deal breaker there is some stuff that should be shared on a first date that is one of them.
I would also think if the person has kids as well. I can't think of anything that should be shared on a first date ar least from the top of my head.
I think monogamy is the true way to go.
I think the reason of divorce rates being high is low problem tolerance in relationships and miscommunication, not thought through marriages.
Many people just don't want to engage a problem in a relationship and find it easier to just disengage it.
Also religion wise, talking about Christianity, it's unholy to have a polygamous relationship and off course there should be restrictions.
Monogamy is highly realistic, and by far the best option for marriage. It's also one of the two predictors of long-term socioeconomic success both for the individuals and even generationally for a society
Monogamous relationships are much more healthier and sustainable than polygamous relationships. Unless the poly relationship is restricted just to the people involved.
Open relationships are meant to fail
I definitely feel it is realistic. Open relationships have a highly likely chance of breaking up. I’ve seen so many messed in open relationships
I just cannot imagine being in an "open relationship". Maybe I'm old fashioned, but monogamy is the ideal, and anything else is just plain wrong.
It is very real just like polygamy. You just need to find someone who’s as polygamous as you or monogamous as you otherwise is not going to work.
No, at least not for me. If I ever settle down it'll be in an open relationship. I can't do monogamy, I've cheated in all my relationships, sex with one person is no way to live.
I think the more Western society tries to redefine gender roles and expectations, the more divorce rates will climb.
No that wouldn't work and wven in countries where they allow that. Like it's a accepted I muslim countries but vast majority of relationships are still with one spouse only. Humans are too jealous to allow that to happen.
I've seen many monogamous people. Not sure whether they're honest or not, I keep my nose to myself. It's not for me though.
Monogamy is the most mutually beneficial arrangement that almost every society in the world has been able to agree on.
Monogamy evolved naturally because polygamous societies tend to be unbelievably violent. Monogamy is totally realistic.
We all are possessive about the people we love and like. I do think monogamy is realistic.
Obviously it's not going to be for everyone, but it most certainly is for me. Period.
Ehh... 7 billion world population is evidence monogamy is realistic.
Also, before the second world war only monogamy was permissible
I don't want my girl to be with other guys, I am not into hos.
I do want to comment on this but I can't right now. Back soon
.
I think it's harder than young people understand and it's a laudable worthy aim, but people who fail at it should be forgiven more often 5han they are.
To me yes. Polygamy disgusts me. It turbs me off.
I could ever be only with one man for all my life.
One man for one life.
monogamy is not meant to be for everyone.
non-monogamy is also not meant for everyone.
Yes. But it is not that easy to find the right person.
poly leads to death
if the number keeps increasing
the men will eventually rebel
and kill the other men and women
and yes there was an experiment done like this already
2200 dead
only 6 survived
have fun retards
For some, yes. For others, no.
For me, yes.
I can only be in a serious relationship with one person at a time and I want to be the only person they are with as well. Sex included.
I think this would be a good time to tell you that closed circle polyamory exists too.
i think it is not. But it is possible to be loyal to a person. It depends on you personality. Ideally we should be honest about what we want and we would be less disappointed
I think it's realistic if both want to be monogamous, yes.
I've never been in an open relationship but every relationship I've ever been in has been " open"
Like it or not, monogamy is how humans were designed. Polygamy and Polyandry are social constructs that specific cultures invented as ways to control people.
of course it is. it's just a decision you make.
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