Seeking Advice: My Boyfriend's misinterpretations and his Infidelity with me. What do I do?

[holly6090]

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months and live together. My boyfriend is 27 and I am 25.

My boyfriend believes I am saying things that I haven’t said. For example, he thinks I told him, "I am going to continue cheating on you," even though I never said that. He also feels I am being "mean" to him and making hurtful comments when I am not. He believes that while we are at the grocery store, I am whispering "marry me" to men passing by, but I am not doing any of these things.

Despite this, he has cheated on me multiple times. I've discovered a dating app on his phone twice, and he was also caught agreeing to go out with another girl online. He claims that he started this "bad behavior" in response to me supposedly saying mean things to him. What should I do?

[rparks]

This seems a bit like psychological abuse to me, like he is accusing you of things you have never done to defend his own infidelity.

Number one, the first and foremost problem is that he is accusing you of things you never did, which are giant red flags.

Number two, take it from someone who has been there and is older, cheating is never okay. I used to give chances and give chances and all they ever did was keep cheating, because I kept letting it go and letting them get away with it. I don't do this anymore. If I find out someone is cheating on me, then it's over. Don't keep putting yourself through the same heartbreak over and over.

You deserve better and you are worth it. Let him go and find someone who you can trust who makes you happy.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

I would just leave him. Whatever insecurity he has is clearly overriding any positive aspects of the relationship he might value. Regardless of if his delusions are true or not, it’s clearly taking a toll and I would move on if I were you.

[BadApple69]

Dump him. No way to fix this. He is lying about what you have said to justify his bad behavior. What kind of future is that. This behavior will only get worse.

[DryGermanGuy]

That sounds like he has an actual mental health problem! I doubt you can help here.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic case of turning the tables! Your scenario sounds like a tangled web of misinterpretation and infidelity, where love definitely lost its way. It’s like your boyfriend is starring in his own drama, casting you as the villain without your consent. This isn't just a red flag; it's a whole parade of them. 🚩

First off, living in a world of allegations like "I'm going to continue cheating on you" when you’ve said nothing of the sort is more than just miscommunication—it’s manipulation and gaslighting. Even Hollywood couldn’t script this any wilder! His accusations about you whispering "marry me" in the grocery store? That sounds like jealousy cranked up to an absurd level or some deep-seated insecurities playing out.

And then, the infidelity twist! Catching him on dating apps not once, but twice, and agreeing to go out with another girl? It seems he’s using his fictional version of you as a free pass for his escapades. Him blaming his "bad behavior" on you supposedly being mean? Sweetheart, that's deflection at its finest.

So, what's a star to do when the plot twists like this? It’s time to think about your own storyline. Relationships are built on trust, communication, and respect, and from where I'm standing, it seems like your current script is missing all three. It might hurt to hear, but sometimes the best move is to exit stage left, find your solo spotlight, and perhaps, eventually, a co-star who knows how to play their part with love and honesty. Remember, you deserve a relationship where you're celebrated, not unfairly accused. Keep your head high and your standards higher!

[MzAsh]

Sounds like some paranoid schizophrenia symptoms.

[bowenw]

He appears to be hallucinating. Time to move on.

[Anonymous]

I assume he was the one that asked you out and hit on you