Why is it as though he’s ghosting me but leaves our pictures up on instagram?

[Anonymous]

Long story short boyfriend all of a sudden feels lost and stuck in life. We’ve been together 2 years, lived together until recently. Now he’s uncertain.. “are we right for each other?” “I feel like if I let you go, it will be a big mistake” I said I would give him space to figure it out. He said okay.. I replied and he didn’t read it until the following day, never responded. I can respect the space. I thought long and hard myself about the relationship. I came to the conclusion that if a man isn’t certain about me.. then he’s not meant for me. Not after 2 years and living together and even trying to attempt to conceive. We broke up 4 months ago and got back together. He didn’t have any explanation for it and kept contact with me regardless. I sent the text that I thought about everything and felt maybe we aren’t meant for each other. That the anxiety I get from his indecisiveness wasn’t good for me (he gets distant randomly and for long periods ever since we got back together)
It was left on delivered, he’s kept my pics up on instagram. No updates. Is he ghosting? Is he depressed? What is going on? Why keep our pictures up? He took them off the last time he broke it off so it doesn’t make sense to me. Anyone go through this? What causes distance suddenly, and uncertainty? Why would he feel stuck and lost in life and unsure?

[theegloveguy]

Well, it’s possible that he may be just trying to keep up appearances, so as to not look crazy on social media for being on-and-off again with you. If not that, it’s possible that he may be scared of being alone. He may know it’s over with you, but the fear of being by himself and having to date again may be making him unsure. Or, it could be something else.


In any case, I agree that it seems like this is done. He’s no longer fighting for you and he clearly doesn’t know what to do. It’s clear that you see that he needs space, and that’ll have to be a long term thing. It sounds like you’ve decided that you won’t wait any longer and if that’s the case, I’d agree with you. There’s no point wasting your time on someone who’s being wishy-washy. It sounds like it’s time for both of you to move on. I can imagine thinking about his ghosting and his reasoning for it is torture for you, given everything you’ve been through. However, this is just how he’s choosing to deal with the situation, and you’ll have to figure out how you want to cope.


Whatever happens, I wish you the best!

[Anonymous]

I feel like the pics still being up speaks to his wishy-washyness and uncertainty. Personally I’m not a fan of that and would be done. I used to be more lenient and “understanding”, but a male friend of mine said my ex shouldn’t be allowed to pick and choose when I was going to matter, and I’d say the same for you. You want someone who’s all in, not constantly on the fence or having you on stand by. It’s unfair and quite cruel. He should go be free and explore, rather than putting you through all this waiting and confusion. You don’t deserve that.