Anytime I get upset my boyfriend just leaves and won't talk to me, what can I do?

[Anonymous]

So this has happened a few times in my relationship with my boyfriend. He could say something that hurts me, or we can get into a fight and he will hang up or leave ans just refuse to talk to me for a few days.

Today we were doing some stuff together and I wanted to buy something for the two of to do together costing about $30 I'm tight on money but I could manage that. It's something he knows I was super excited about but tells me not to do it. I insist it's fine I can afford but he puts his foot down and tells me to wait and he will pay for it himself in a few weeks.

I get upset cos in disappointed and just got told I'm not allowed to do something. He gets mad and says for me to take a break and come talk to me when I'm done pouting. I begged him to not leave and just give me a few minutes to calm down and I'd be fine. He agreed and before even 10 minutes went by he just left... I've tried calling and texting him and all he says is for me to leave him alone and he will talk to me 'sometime later'

I don't know how to fix this... he won't talk to me I don't even know what I did wrong so it won't happen again... and im just upset now. I love him very much and I hate when this happens. How can I fix it?

Updates

1 y

Ok so I feel the need to add a detail here that people are misunderstanding. The activity was a mutually agreed on thing. We made a deal that he would pay half and I would pay half which was his idea mind. He paid his half first and when it came my turn he changed his mind and then told me to no longer pay it.

[Anonymous]

It’s called punishment and training. He’s not the sort of man who cares to validate your feelings and you love him more than he loves you. Because of this, he can act on both. When you’re emotional, rather than caring to communicate he walks away as punishment. Then you feel guilty for having those emotions ans apologize, beg, etc. even if how you felt was valid and he was wrong. Now you will no longer complain about that thing because you’re afraid to lose him. He’s training you to just shut up or get punished if you speak, and I think that is a horrible person to choose as a boyfriend. You have a voice, and if you let love allow you to be silenced then I must say you have lost yourself to this man.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sorry are you kidding? She literally can’t speak her mind at all without him up and walking away! Is that how you handle things within your relationship? The minute your spouse has a problem you up and leave or make her feel like the relationship will be over? The nerve of you calling me an abuser when you’re sitting here justifying his emotional about and manipulation!

[Opinion Owner]

**abuse and manipulation

[Opinion Owner]

Also what rage are you talking about? Please point out where she’s full of rage and abuse?

[Opinion Owner]

That’s a literal gaslight! Talk about manipulative! I know your exes have horror stories and trauma.

[Opinion Owner]

Can you point out where she was full of rage and abuse? I’d love to see it! I will wait! Where was she abusive? Since you wanna talk to me so much let’s answer some questions.

[Opinion Owner]

Stop all the yapping! Holy fuck I do not care. Answer my questions or move the fuck on.

[Opinion Owner]

I started an argument? What the fuck else would I say when you first comment was as disrespectful as it was? You expected a civil conversation after you insult me with each response? How entitled!

[Opinion Owner]

I’m done with you.

[Opinion Owner]

Also you’re being blocked so go slander me under your own comment lol beta CUCK.

[Crazzyyworld]

you have to understand men's brain... when men get mad they punch rather than get angry. when women get angry on the other hand they express emotion. so you are just seeing him walk away because he fears of punching you.

[lightbulb27]

It's fixable with understanding and love and communication... and some self work.

Best I can say easy approach, in such a situation, slow way down to get out of the stress brain, so can stay positive.

I had a hard time with arguments, there may be some emotional stuff in him that needs "maturing"... and you for that matter.

If you look under the cover of the disconnect, he is being caring... but you are clashing.

[AviatorTom]

That's his way of dealing with conflict, and it's not uncommon. Let him walk away, he comes back.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the classic retreat and silent treatment combo, a real passion killer in relationships. It sounds like your boyfriend is practicing the art of avoidance rather than addressing the issue head-on. Now, my love, communication is the lifeline of a relationship, and it seems like yours is getting a bit tangled.

First things first, let's remember that both of you are on the same team, not opponents in a boxing ring. It's clear you have a big heart and loads of patience, which is golden. Yet, it's essential your partner knows that his 'see you when I see you' attitude isn't going to sail smoothly in the long term.

Take a breath and wait until the air clears for a moment of peace. Approach him with how this behavior makes you feel, using "I feel" statements to avoid any blame game. Suggest a compromise – maybe a safe word or a timeout signal for when either of you needs a breather, but with a clear timeframe to come back and chat. This way, you're acknowledging his need for space while also setting boundaries.

Unfortunately, unless he's willing to work on this with you, your love boat might keep hitting the same iceberg. Love requires talking, listening, and sometimes, a bit of negotiation to navigate through rough waters. Good luck, and remember, you're a catch that deserves open communication and understanding! Keep shining and showing that patience and love.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Haha what a baller.

If he didn't want to talk to you he probably would have left already. I think if he does that, you need to take a deep breath organize your thoughts and have a conversation geared towards bringing eachother peace.

[bowenw]

It's doubtful you can fix someone with a controlling personality like that. Finding someone that is not that way is your best bet.

[EnjoytheDay777]

He needs to talk... everyone needs to talk to make a relationship work. If he doesn't, than move on. He doesn't sound too enthused. Actions speak louder than words.

Sometimes things can't be fixed, and you need to start over.

[JesseP1nk]

I would say that he tries to manipulate you. "If you are not doing my way then im not gonna talk to you" You want to be in that kind of relationship?

[genericname85]

You fix this by being more reasonable and calm. Like honestl, to me you sounded like a stubborn child in that story and I'm not surprised he wasn't willing to put up with it.

[Vegasrunner]

Sounds like a guy taking my advice he did the right thing. You never want argue w/ a women, because it's brings you down to their levels.

[onedarkcloud]

Leave it is not going to get any better and probably worse.

[Bilyelash]

💯 one day he will probably leave and never come back. Aka ghosting.

[Bilyelash]

Not reading all that but my ex did that to me. He ended up ghosting me.

[MasterKS]

miss understanding kills most relationship so think seriously!

[Anonymous]

Stop getting upset.

[Maybeyoutoo]

Roll the dice