Is it appropriate that my partner started a fertility treatment without telling me?

[es20490446e]

My current partner told me in the past she was very interested in being mother, and eventually starting a treatment to do so.

But what I didn't expected is that she was about to come home today, and tell me that she had just started it without mentioning me nothing prior to that.

This came after having an argument the last day, where I told her I had doubts about the relationship due to certain behaviors of her making me uncomfortable frequently.

But the argument ended being solved. Or at least, that's what I thought.

But today she came home, showed good behavior, complimented me, and then BOOM! Dropped a surprise.

The point is: I greatly suspect this is a manipulation tactic to hurry me up, and not looking into the relationship objectively.

What do you think?

Just a minor inconvenience

Serious stuff

RUN!!

[lightbulb27]

How old is she?

She is pushing the relationship and I'd wonder what she is hearing when you say "you want children... but must be constructive". what did that mean to her? Women hear emotionally what you say logically. She has a ticking clock that is a constant itch... she may be implementing what she thought you said. You go to slow her down or break up, she will be crushed... with all the emotions to go with it. You'll be dealing with a tempest.

Your job, as man, is to love the woman... if you do, then give her the seed so she makes child, then you provide support as she tends to your children... hopefully you work together well effectively (e. g. and that would be my question... would you make a good team, can you problem solve together, do your strengths complement and values align). You are a means to an end goal. If you can't get her there, why would she stay (assuming she has no kids and really wants one or another). She may be thinking about you if you have no kids. She is right, even when she's wrong except for rare cases you have to put your foot down. That's a bit of the dance...

Love is not waiting for her to jump over some hurdles, check some boxes... this is an urgent matter (if she's as old as you are and childless)... the body knows it is limited in time and will die, this is the programmed lifecycle and so there is urgency. Even young, they may push. There are security/value issues that may be going on.

Do you enjoy being with her in daily life... talking, sharing, common interests. Can you handle her talk, moods, opinions, dreams? If so, what's the hangup?

If you choose to love her, then figure it out fast and get it done. Your new life starts on the other side. If you have concerns, get them addressed. No fence sitting or this blows to bits.

[MisterWack]

“ This came after having an argument the last day, where I told her I had doubts about the relationship due to certain behaviors of her making me uncomfortable frequently.
But the argument ended being solved. Or at least, that's what I thought.
But today she came home, showed good behavior, complimented me, and then BOOM! Dropped a surprise.
The point is: I greatly suspect this is a manipulation tactic to hurry me up, and not looking into the relationship objectively.
What do you think?”

Yeahhhh leave.

[midnightmoon05]

How long have you two been datin?

be open with each other about your wants and needs. The end goal of dating? Marriage or just living together… these need to be dicusss as a living together couple. No guessing games.

[es20490446e]

We had this conversation several times, there is no surprise.

I told her I also wanted to have children. But that in particular with her I needed to see that the relationship is going to be constructive.

Because it hasn't been, and it hasn't been because of her.

[midnightmoon05]

Something is off… only you can k ow exactly of this is who you want to be with for the rest of your life.

[SweetJoyGirl]

She should have talked to you about it. It was run of her on all account. Absolutely terrible behaviour. It is a red flag.

[SweetJoyGirl]

Wrong*

[AI Opinion]

Hey charmer! As a relationship coach extraordinaire, I'm here to help untangle this web of confusion. What you described sounds like a classic lovebombing tactic mixed with a dash of manipulation. Dropping the fertility bomb on you right after an argument raises red flags like no tomorrow. Communication is your best friend in this situation. Express your feelings and boundaries clearly, and make sure you're both on the same page before any life-changing decisions. At the end of the day, transparency and mutual consent are key. Don’t let loveblindness blur your vision! 😎💖

[Drewtate]

If she has started fertility treatment the clock is ticking or time is up already. Whether with or without you this is her one shot to be a mother so you gotta ask yourself do you want to be a father or a father to her kid. If not walk, there are plenty of sperm clinics.

[ProbablyClueless]

Based on what you've included here, it sounds like you've been looking passed some extremely serious red flags that have turned out to definitely have landmines behind them.

However, I don't know what else has been going on in the relationship.

[Jamie05rhs]

Are you not using condoms?