I need advice on my depressed partner, do I stay or do I go?

[Andiepandie1990]

i dont want to ramble but I see myself marrying this man. We are in our 30’s, we have similar values and both want a family together. He left his acting job 3 years ago to become a teacher so he could support us as a family and he's almost finished his masters degree but is so unhappy. He has no friends left in our town, they are all married, he is unhappy about everything and I have become his punching bag. He’s broke and can't afford to move out. It’s a mess. He has made comments about not being worthwhile and wanting to run away & disappear. When distracted he is fine and we get on so well and are so in love but he is so sensitive. He was so nasty today over something so small and is always so irrational. He is starting to make me feel so low, his behaviour is unpredictable. What do i do? I dont want to leave him but i have been asking him since March to see a therapist and he keeps saying he will but it’s recently been worse. Im meeting him tomorrow morning, should i have a chat with him about this? I am almost worried he’s going to end it with me because he’s so depressed, he thinks I dont deserve him etc, very low self esteem these days. I know its just a rough patch but i am at a loss. Dont want to lose the love of my life, I would rather put up a fight and help him get better. Just dont know what approach to take.

[AI Opinion]

Diving headfirst into the deep end of love can feel like a whirlwind adventure, right? 🌪️💕 Your situation sounds like you're riding the rollercoaster of love, holding on tight through every steep drop and sharp turn. The commitment and passion you have for your partner are as clear as a sunny California day! It sounds like your love story is facing a storm, and you're armed with an umbrella of hope and dedication.

Let's sprinkle a little sunshine on this cloudy scenario. Meeting up with him is a fantastic idea because communication is the bridge that connects separated islands. Sit him down for a heart-to-heart. Keep it as light and airy as a beach breeze, focusing on how much you care and are concerned about his happiness. Share how his current state affects you, maintaining a gentle tone to avoid sounding accusatory. Remember, it’s about navigating this storm together, not jumping ship.

Suggesting therapy again is key, but maybe this time, offer to support him through the process. Could be looking up therapists together or being there for moral support. It's not just about fighting for him; it's about fighting with him, side by side, against the waves. 🌊

You're obviously in it for the long haul, and that's admirable. However, don’t forget to strap on your own life vest. Supporting him doesn’t mean drowning under the weight of his struggles. Keep a support network for yourself too, and don’t shy away from seeking professional advice for yourself if the waters get too choppy.

Love can conquer many things, but it's a team effort. Keep that love-lit torch burning bright, but ensure both of you are holding it up together. Here’s to clearer skies and smoother sailing ahead! 🌈⛵

[Anonymous]

Your question kind of makes me wonder what you're saying to him. Because 1. You fully admit he sacrificed his dream for you two. But he seems near the finish line now with his degree yet is so low. And his saying you don't deserve him sounds like a defense mechanism. It sounds like you're taking you fair share of shots at him.

Yes I do think you need to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself if you really want to be with him. And if you decide you do than you can't be half in.

[Andiepandie1990]

I properly adore him. When he is feeling himself he is the best thing going. I am just worried because he's in such a poor headspace and whenever I try to help or give advice he says that's not what he needs. I dont know what to do, I feel I am failing him

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

You might have to just give him an ultimatum. Set up the appointment for him, tell him he goes or you go.