If your partner/spouse gave you an ultimatum to move across the country, would you?

[Ladsin2]

Listening to an episode of Ramsey and a woman called in saying her Husband gave her an ultimatum "move with me or we're done." They're married and have a child together. He has five properties to manage in Tennessee, she is about to lose her job, but thinks she can get a new one in Georgia. Would you move, is there an underlying issue, or would you stick to your guns?

Male, I'd move

Male, I'm staying

Female, I'd move

Female, I'd stay

Other

[razelove]

I'd say the ultimatum is the biggest issue. Also in their case the properties. You can't bring the property with you, so that's a no go.

I've fought a lot with my wife over the years because she's said she's willing to move out of state, and when I've moved for jobs and opportunities she stays behind and refuses to budge. It is infuriating. So if I had a really good opportunity somewhere else I'd have to weigh it against getting divorced rather than any ultimatum.

I just don't look for opportunities away from here any more, and figure that'll come when the kids are older.

[Ladsin2]

I'm not sure I understand your issue. You're saying that your woman has said she's willing to move, but then whenever an opportunity arises she says no?

The properties in question were in the other state. The husband wanted to move into one and manage the rest of the properties from that state. The wife wanted to stay still because maybe she'd get a different job.

[razelove]

Moving to the property seems like the better idea, and yeah, she said she's willing to move, then if I go ahead and secure something, it was a no go for her to even come out and visit.

[Ladsin2]

I understand. Thanks.

[Juxtapose]

I would move with her if she was cool about it but if she acts like a bitch and gives me some ultimatum? We are done.

[Ladsin2]

What about your wedding vows?

[Juxtapose]

I would kick myself if I married a bitch like that then.

[Ladsin2]

Still leaving?

[Juxtapose]

Possibly, it depends on how much bullshit I am willing to put up with. If you give in once and let her know she has leverage over you?

IT'S. OVER.

[Juxtapose]

Maybe she's great in every other way but with moving she's a bitch. It depends.

[Juxtapose]

And she's ready to drop me if I don't move.. so meh. She kinda killed the relationship there.

[Ladsin2]

Lol thanks for the answer.

[Juxtapose]

No problem. Your thoughts?

[Ladsin2]

Not entirely sure. I think the woman should be supporting her Husband. I think the man should lead the relationship as the person who's primarily going to suffer if the move is bad. If they move and can't put food on the table he starves first. If they move and it's a more dangerous area and hooligans try to break into the home he fights first. I think with that responsibility he should have the final say in that decision. If my wife tried to take the leadership role I'm not sure what I'd do.

[Effie1997]

I’d stay especially after the ultimatum it makes me wanna run the other way.

[Ladsin2]

Stay in the state or in the marriage?

[Apple1996]

Yeah I've moved 4 times now for my husbands job

[Ladsin2]

Did he ever have to give you an ultimatum?

[Apple1996]

Nah I'm happy to move around with him

[Bklynbadboy12]

Awwww! You are soooooo sweet!!!😍😍😍😍

[AI Opinion]

Ultimatums in love, ah, the drama and the decisions! Moving across the country is no small feat, especially with a family in tow. It sounds like a classic case of priorities clashing—career vs. family commitments, Georgia peaches vs. Tennessee whiskey. If I were in those shoes, I’d say communication is key before packing up or standing ground. What are the values guiding this move? Is it really about the properties, or is there something deeper at play? As your friendly neighborhood relationship coach, I’d advise discussing fears, hopes, and potential compromises. Perhaps there’s a middle ground that doesn’t require choosing between love and location. Remember, it's not just about moving; it's about moving forward together. Lovebombing the problem might not fix it, but a heart-to-heart just might! 😉

[Avicenna]

Well, ultimatums like that usually don't play well in a relationship. She'd better have some incredible business opportunities or a great job awaiting her and there would have to be opportunities for me as well to go along with that.

[Ladsin2]

She didn't have any great opportunities. He had 5 rental properties, one they would turn into a home so they could live debt free and the other 4 would be passive income while he got another job. The story seemed very odd to me.

[Avicenna]

Kinda strange indeed

[msc545]

The only place in the US I would move to from California where I am now would be Hawaii (the rest of the US sucks for the most part).

Europe is another possibility as well.

[Ladsin2]

Sounds like someone who hasn't seen much of the country.

[msc545]

I have seen all of it, and that was mostly too much.

[Ladsin2]

Okay

[noohair]

Georgia to Tennessee is not like across the country, Florida to Oregon. Georgia shares a border with Tennessee.

[Ladsin2]

Yes.

[Avocadorable]

We either come to a understanding or split, simple as that.

[Ladsin2]

What about your wedding vows?

[nawtee_me]

Ultimatums don’t work, we either discuss it and come to an understanding or we split up.

[Ladsin2]

What if you can't come to an understanding?

[nawtee_me]

You don’t need an ultimatum to go separate ways. If you can’t agree and an ultimatum is given then one of the two will alway hold a grudge against the other

[Ladsin2]

What about your wedding vows?

[nawtee_me]

So you get married and two months later she say to you, we are moving to Italy next week! Are you going?

[Ladsin2]

I'm the one asking questions here bud.

[DrPepper12]

I said move but if it's an ultimatum I'm only going to be with my kids

[LiamJHayden]

Boundaries are fine, but an ultimatum is a deal breaker.

[Meisdipa]

Now that's unhealthy

[Ladsin2]

The ultimatum or not moving?

[exitseven]

I would move because I want to move anyway.

[Walksbehindtherows]

Never ever