If your future partner is not in the same country as you. Would you move to his (her) country for him (her)?

[Martha0839]

Would you give up everything for your significant other now?

[MrOracle]

This is a general reply, not aimed at anyone in particular.

One of the most important lessons about dating is that you should ONLY DATE *LOCALLY*. The whole entire point of dating is to have a partner in your life - someone you spend time with at least several days a week on average, if not every day. From a practical point of view, this means they need to live with roughly 20 miles/30km of you. Any further and it will get too difficult to maintain that level of time together.

Far too many people get on dating apps and, not being satisfied with their local options (usually because their standards are unreasonably high), want to shop outside their area for a "better" partner, but this creates "long-distance relationships", which aren't actually real. And even video calls can't come close to a real relationship, but most people aren't even doing that - they're trying to have a relationship over text, which is just ridiculous.

Think of all the people you know who have tried to make a long distance relationship work, and how many were successful. Studies show a failure rate between 96-98%, which is awful.

Only date locally, and if you aren't satisfied with your local options, then MOVE somewhere with better local options. But don't delude yourself into believing that a long distance relationship is real. In the long run, that will just waste your most precious resource: your time, and especially your youth.

[BlackBeauty90]

@MrOracle You know lazy weaklings like you is why the gene pool is diminishing. If our ancestors could travel hundreds of miles & marry someone on the road and/or in a completely foreign country what's wrong with you?

And even today in 3rd world countries people travel far distances to marry someone in villages that are not nearby.

[MrOracle]

Yes, and those were largely arranged marriages where the partners were vetted by the other family, and where marriage was "til death do us part." That's not how things work today, and more's the pity.

[TheSpaceGnome]

If I limited my dating range to local I'd find zero matches.

[MrOracle]

@TheSpaceGnome Then you need to either lower your standards or move. Long-distance (aka fake/virtual) relationships are NOT the answer.

[BlackBeauty90]

@MrOracle WHY should someone lower their standards? Most people do NOT have outragerous standards - the average person wants someone decent, respectable, not a drunk, druggie, abusive, etc. and someone who has at least a job so they're not a good for nothing leech. That's hardly outrageous.

Now lowering standards is WHY the bottom undesirable rungs of society - welfare leeches, trailer trash, drug addicts, gang bangers, alcholics, etc. - are able to reproduce.

[BlackBeauty90]

@MrOracle "Yes, and those were largely arranged marriages where the partners were vetted by the other family, and where marriage was "til death do us part." That's not how things work today, and more's the pity."

Do you READ what you write? Or did you FAIL high school? If your nonsense happened America WOULD NOT exist because majority of the immigrants married when they arrived in the United States while ON THE ROAD so there was NO ARRANGED MARRIAGES

[TheSpaceGnome]

@MrOracle Neither actually, I need to look online within the entire US, keep my standards, and when I find a match, have her move here to me. I'm not moving or lowering my standards.

[BlackBeauty90]

@TheSpaceGnome Or if she's living in a better region with better job options there's also the potential of you moving to her area. That's what my boyfriend turned fiance did. He's a lawyer, worked like a dog in a major city. Nowadays he lives in my smaller city - close to the big cities - and is intenting to open his own practice in a year or two. It'd take him much longer to even consider that option where he was living due to the pricing, etc.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@MrOracle, I'm also 100% for the "til death do us part" type of marriage. And the reason I won't move is because 1. I like where I am, and 2. it won't help my odds, because what I want is basically my mind in a woman (same hobbies, interests, views, goals, talents, etc), which exists, but is rare in all locations.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@BlackBeauty90 I'm not giving up my dream home. I don't have it yet, so if she's near that area I'll move to her, but once I have my dream home I'm not moving.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@BlackBeauty90 My final house will be enticing enough to any likeminded woman to have her begging to move in anyway.

[BlackBeauty90]

@TheSpaceGnome You mustn't be that intelligent to realize a dream house can be built anywhere. If it's built in a shitty city or a shitty region it won't matter if it's coated in gold, its nobody's dream house except yours & a gold diggers then.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@BlackBeauty90 Actually I'm very intelligent, its 1 of several reasons finding a match is so hard for me, as her being above average in intellect is one of my dealbreakers.

You can't build just anywhere, things like local weather, climate, proximity to cities and nature, etc matter a lot. You don't seem very intelligent though, because you contradicted yourself:

This: "If it's built in a shitty city or a shitty region it won't matter if it's coated in gold, its nobody's dream house except yours & a gold diggers then."

Is why this isn't true: "dream house can be built anywhere."

I'm building in the perfect spot, not some disaster ridden hellhole.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Also she can't be a gold digger, I only go after career oriented female artists who play video games and have other expensive nerdy/geeky hobbies. If she was a broke gold digger, she would have no money to get all that stuff, so I'd see no evidence she's a match and ignore her, and I'd also be very unlikely to meet her in the first place, since those hobbies are how I meet anyone.

[BlackBeauty90]

@TheSpaceGnome You're not above average intelligence, take it from someone with an evaluated IQ of 132.

I used the "dream house can be built anywhere" when you were saying that you wouldn't move and in demanding some woman move to you. If a woman IS above intelligent that means she's going to, on average, have a GREAT job sooo WHY would she just pack up and move to you like some desperate achieve nothing gold digger?

So being unwilling to compromise will make it your destiny to never get married.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@BlackBeauty90 So first off my IQ is higher than that, secondly, IQ is a poor way to measure comprehension skills, third you have already shown you're not very smart, as you have contradicted yourself yet again.

If "only achieve nothing gold diggers are willing to move", then why would I move? I'm cetainly not one of those. You would need to apply the same logic to both the man and the woman, not just the woman.

But to answer the question of "why would she move?" because I'm picking the best spot in the country for my type of mind, and building a home spefically to cater to my type of mind, so anyone who is that much like me, either already lives there and has the same dream, or wants to but hasn't yet. Either way the outcome is the same.

[TheSpaceGnome]

certainly not one*

[TheSpaceGnome]

@blackbeauty90O Or more simply, If I lived in a bad spot, and she built that dream home in a great spot, I'd move in with her, so I know she'd do the same if I did it first. And I will likely be doing it first.

[BlackBeauty90]

@TheSpaceGnome I'm bored of you because you keep proving you're NOT intelligent. Previously you said you'd build a dream house that your woman would be an idiot to pass up and it's expected for her to pack up and move to you groveling for acceptance. And that you'd NEVER move.

And now you're saying well if she built a suitable dream house you'll be more than happy to move and grovel at her doorstep.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@BlackBeauty90 If you don't wish to continue the conversation, then don't, I don't care that you're bored of me correcting you. Stop saying incorrect garbage if you're tired of it.

I'd never move because she's never going to build it here before I do, and expecting her beat me to it is extremely unrealistic, I'm already having to bend on things like looking outside my state just to find a compatible mind.

The odds of a perfect match being found quickly is very low and will take lots of time to find, the odds of her being set up already in such a house/location is nearly zero, so "I'll never move" implies probably and practicality, not double standards, and co-excitement in both parties in planning out a life together, is not the same as one groveling to the other (thinking otherwise is absurd).

My explaination already implied all of that, so the fact that I have to spell it out for you twice says you're not very bright. If someone walked up to me and handed me a living triceratops, I'd take it. Is that going to happen? No, no it isn't, so I'm not going to take a living triceratops home ever, because there aren't any. That does not mean that if the opportunity hypothetically presented itself, I wouldn't.

But on top of that, I'm already in the general location, how can I move out of my area and into her area, if we are both already in the same area? And if she existed in this area already, I'd have found her by now, so again, that situation isn't going to happen no matter how much I'd be all over it if it did.

You make no sense.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Probability* not probably.

[Kabluie]

@BlackBeauty90 yeah don't listen to this lazy loser, they think the world is the same wherever they are.

[BlackBeauty90]

@TheSpaceGnome ROFL. Enjoy 😉 being single for the rest of your life. Not only are you not intelligent but contradictory of yourself AND you continually indicate you DON'T have a good personality which will turn most intelligent accomplished women right off dating you.

[CaptainOverthink]

Depends on where that would be and what I am sensing it might to go.
I like my own country and think it's a good place to have a family, for the benefits of dual payed parental leave, payed studies and healthcare..
But if I don't see a family at the end of it I might just go with the flow, why not go live in another country? It's a new life-experience, at least.

And if we shift into family-vibes I will try hard to have us move to Sweden but how it is where we are will decide the outcome.
If by any chance there is already a baby involved then my fate is tied to her will and I might sacrifice my wants to stay together.

[Anemone978]

I did but I highly recommend not to do that, because you are giving up so much for them and to be honest I doubt they will actually care you did and it will not be worth it.

[Lyndsielee666]

Probably not the same but mines in Tennessee and I’m in California😂 probably wouldn’t stick around if it was another country tbh

[OlderAndWiser]

I contemplated a long term relationship with someone from Brazil. If I thought that we would have been good together long term, I would have moved to Brazil. She is an only child, her parents are both alive, and I would never take her away from them.

[DannyUk2017]

If i don't know them enough no! I had done it before, and at the first argument i've been sweared at, thrown at, even she was smacked by parents, and knowingly that she's in the wrong, told me to pack my stuff and get out, luckily i didn't leave my place for good, i kept it as a reserve, exactly for this kind of "case".

[236color]

Depends on the country. I'm unlikely to move to a war zone, a little more likely to move to somewhere very poor (Somalia or something like that). Fairly likely for Western Europe, Japan, Canada. With all of the no's, I'd suggest she comes to the U. S.

[Anonymous]

17yo me met my first & (to this day) only love I ever had on here almost 6yrs ago. She was just a little younger than me but from USA & I’m Canadian. It was puppy love truth be told but we formed such a strong connection and yes I totally would’ve moved counties for her back then because it was puppy love again. Long story short she ended up losing interest which I sort of knew would happen & still virgin at age 23, never been kissed or anything. Which I’m ok with.
Would I be willing to move counties now for someone…. hmmmmm I definitely would need some time to process the thoughts

[Anonymous]

Absolutely I would. In the near future, I want to abdicate my U. S. citizenship entirely for a few select small South American countries or Mexico. Absolutely I would. My bother has a strong stable marriage and met his wife in the DMZ, after he graduated West Point. Has 3 daughters, happy marriage. I have another friend who spends 6 mos in SE Asia, and 6 mos here. He doesn't date when he's stateside, but keeps begging me to come with him over there when he goes. I'm bigger on Latin America... but the answer is a resounding yes.

[TheSpaceGnome]

No.
I'd never give up everything to move to another country.
I'd never pay to be a sponsor for her to come here because I'm against the "provider man and stay at home wife" dynamic.
If immigration had zero red tape and no extra responsibilities or rules and you could just move wherever and live there like if you were born there, then I'd move.

[RingOfFire]

I doubt it. If I can't find a partner in a country with 350 million people in it something is wrong and I need to figure out what it is instead of uprooting my entire life to move to some foreign and unfamiliar country.

[DiegoO]

I met my ex, online. I call her ex because we spend 3 years having strong romantic feelings for each other; trying to meet in person. Both of us were willing to move to each other country. Neither of us were able to close the distance. We were in college and we just didn't have the resources.

Under a never met relation, I would NOT go for if. If we previously had a relation, I would.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've moved enough for others already. I'm done doing that. She can come to me.

[Anonymous]

Very unlikely. I simply have to much to lose in my life now. I'm not completely ruling it out. But she'd have to be worth me completely uprooting my life and I simply don't see that happening now. Maybe when I was younger when I had nothing to lose. But not now.

[Drumlin2001]

Probably not. I have 2 young kids, not uprooting them unless I know for sure it was the right thing (and would have shared custody so would be difficult if in different country)

[thatshydork]

Depends on how serious the relationship is but probably not unless we planned to get married and I can speak the same language.

[Daniela1982]

Why would you look in another country when there are millions of unattached men most likely in your own state?

[Spongebobssocks]

Depends. My crush is planning to meet me in a year and he lives in Iran.. non of us wanna be there😂

[Lionman95]

No because the risk is too high and I don´t depend my happiness on being in a relationship.

[Martha0839]

It seems you have no shortage of love

[Lionman95]

I wouldn´t say it like that. I just have enough peace with my situation to not freak about being single and to buy in the myth that all women are trash just because I had no success with dating in the past. Besides that the odds of finding a great love abroad are not high enough to me to risk breaking off all contacts where I´m now.

[Alli39]

Possible, but very situational. It would definitely be a difficult decision.

[Simslover92]

If we are really serious like engaged or close to getting engaged then yes I would.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I'm not gonna live in some socialist country full of morons with dumb accents to be with anyone

[lightbulb27]

I moved 11hrs within country. If was a place i thought i could live, yes.

[MementoMori777]

If I can't step foot there armed, it's not gonna happen, petty yes I know

[Viktor001]

If it's true love then I don't see why not. If you really love each other, you would do anything to be closer.

[exitseven]

No, unless maybe Canada. I would move across the country but I don't want to leave Ameruca.

[Staximus]

How the hell do you know they should be your future "partner" if you don't even live in the same country?

[Christoff92]

All depends how well if it's a true intimacy relationship 🥰😀

[imfreeze95]

I would if I could still be a citizen of my country

[007kingifrit]

no, i expect nowhere else but america to be relatively safe soon

[OddBeMe]

Prob. But you can’t get mad at me thinking logistically of jobs and language barriers and shit.

[Anonymous]

Yes. But I wouldn't be giving up everything. I can still keep my job, keep in touch with family, etc.

[Anonymous]

If he was Brazilian, I'd fly my butt to Brazil. 😜 Jk But tbh I want to visit Brazil one day.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

No. Not a chance.

[Avicenna]

Never again

[Fireguy17]

A lot depends on where she lives.

[ariadneR]

Absolutely. Without hesitation.

[Unit1]

Only if it's Thailand 😍

[Fromdusktilldawn]

never give up your life for a women

[balyai]

It's just the place so yeah

[whistlingwh0res]

no all men are gigolos

[HM313]

Yes.

[LiamJHayden]

I would not.

[Abdulwahh]

Depends lol