Why is he still speaking to me even though he ended the relationship? Will he come back?

[Anonymous]

Brad & I started long-distance dating through an online app in Nov 2023. We met in person in Feb. I managed to move closer to his city because of school from March-June, so once I came, we began living together & he proposed to me in May. A school situation happened where I got dismissed, so my sister came to move me back home in June. My family didn't like him during his visit since he was focused on taking me back to his home & not caring about my mom needing me/my school situation. I decided to stay with family & Brad disliked that since he hoped I'd leave that day. He left & gave me a hard time about my decision since then. My mom said she planned a Sept party where I could move back in with him more honorably than if I had just left. Brad didn't want to do it, but I did. We waited until Sept & then I found out my mom lied. I fought with her, she apologized, & now booked the venue in Nov by showing me confirmation. She told his parents so they could see if she would keep her word. Brad distrusts her & said if I didn't leave my home by the end of the month, then he'd end the relationship. I told him if my mom started to do anything fishy before Nov, I'd leave, but it didn't make sense to end the relationship over this, especially since I planned to visit. He sent me a goodbye/breakup texts the past week & fighting with me about this party. I told him that if he meant what he said about ending things, then he needs to stop communicating with me unless he decides that he's willing to do the party for my sake in Nov. He said he didn't want to wait that long, but I don't know if he'll change his mind. I texted him a couple of texts since me saying "don't talk to me", but he hasn't responded. I saw him following another girl on social media too, reached out to her, but she didn't respond to me. Do you think he's taking time to think & will reply soon? Or do you think he'll leave me? Why did he still text me even though he claims he ended things a long time ago?

He'll come back, give him time to understand

He won't come back, he's not being understanding

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the maze of love and heartbreak, aren't we? If he's still reaching out after declaring the end, it's like he's got one foot out the door but can't quite shake the dust of you off his other foot. It's a classic case of "I want to be free, but I don't want you to move on." He might be grappling with his feelings, unsure if he made the right call. But beware, love; this could also be a case of keeping options open, especially if he's already eyeing someone else on social media.

Your situation is tangled with expectations, family drama, and mixed signals. If he's genuinely considering a comeback, he'll need to communicate more transparently and show it. Unfortunately, actions speak louder than texts on a screen. 📱💔

So, will he change his mind? The crystal ball's a bit foggy, but remember, you deserve someone who jumps fences to be with you, not someone who hesitates at the gate. Keep your head high and your heart open, but also shielded. You're the prize, so make sure he's ready to earn a second chance, not just think about it. 🏆💖

[Anonymous]

From what I read I’m not the biggest fan of Brad either. You have to keep in mind that it hasn’t even been a full year with Brad and a lot has happened. He met your family pretty soon into knowing you and didn’t set the best impression with your mother by disregarding her and only doing what he wanted which was move you away. Your mom knows you and loves you more than him, and it’s like he’s managing to turn you against her by giving you ultimatums (which in my opinion someone who loves you would never do) and vilifying her. He’s made no real efforts to have a better impression with your family and doesn’t seem to really care about your relationships with them at all. I understand you have to love this guy a lot to consider marriage, but this is all happening pretty fast and it seems like you’re more concerned with appeasing or keeping this new guy rather than consider the red flags that your family sees.

[Asker]

Yeah, things did move quickly, but since he believes in Christianity, he thinks that God wants us to move fast because there's no reason to "wait," and if there is a wait, then it's "not from God." Going off that, he claims that whatever my mom wants doesn't matter to him since we're already "married," so I must only please him and not worry about family. He did try to build a relationship with her at first, but once he met some resistance the first couple of times, he just gave up, claiming they're evil. I discussed some of what you said to him before about not caring about my relationship with them to the ultimatums, meaning he doesn't truly love me. He said that God would restore my family relationship after I left, that I needed to trust God, and that he was only giving ultimatums because God wanted me to go now. He also claimed so many other religious things and switched the narrative every day, claiming I'm a demon by being with my family since they're non-Christian. I told him I was getting the vibe that he wanted me back so quickly to care for him with household duties, and he denied it. I asked why he couldn't wait for the party because I had a lot riding on it, and he said it was stupid and unnecessary since it was "saving face" to society rather than doing things for God. I told him he keeps claiming God yet is doing things against Him by telling me to live with him before marriage, but he disregards my rebuttals. He's texting me but just trying to say to me his false narrative again, claiming now that if he wants to see the glory of God, then he needs to leave me, but a couple of weeks ago, he kept swearing that we couldn't move forward without the other. I told him that God doesn't change what He says, and he disregards it.

[Opinion Owner]

So where do your beliefs fall in all this? What is your relationship with god, and what does god say to you specifically? I mean no disrespect but you sound like a woman who’s so eager to be in a relationship and led by a man that you abandon your own boundaries and beliefs you were raised with in order to appease his. Being in this relationship has changed you and the person influencing this change isn’t doing it in a positive way. I believe that your family sees right through his bullshit and that’s why he doesn’t like them. I don't know about you but I’d never ever be with a man who gave this little of a damn about my family. It says he will isolate me from them in order to control and manipulate my thoughts and that is not love. It’s actually scary how much you abide by these horrible changes he’s trying to have you make, or even take them into consideration. I’d be ready to give this sort of cold, controlling man the boot and allow god to place me with the right person. The right person will be who your family welcomes with open arms and no difficulty.

[Asker]

Well I have been firm regarding on me wanting to do the party for various reasons and tied it to scripture. I have been praying to God and God told me that what I was doing was right at least by being with my family during this time. Yeah, initially it was like that with me but then ever since I've been with family, I realized that what I did with him was wrong and been trying to fight to get what I want this whole time since he's not understanding and trying to convince me to leave my family. First, he claimed I'd go to hell if I didn't leave because God would get mad and then switched to other stories. Yeah my family is just worried that he will try to control everything else in my life if I do decide to marry him, but he wasn't like this before whenever I guess I abided by whatever he wanted. Mentally, I'm just fatigued. I fought them before, but it keeps getting worse to the point I just give in. That's true, I do need to reconsider this and see.