Why do you have to lie about a man being in several relationships?

[Anonymous]

My then fiance (now husband) admitted I was really his first time. He really did seemed nervous an didn't know what to do. Personally I found that sweet and ok. He never once invented stories of being with several gfs. He said from the start that he never been in a relationship before.

It's really my mother that has been telling a couple in the family that he had other gfs in the past but is now a mature man. According to her, this is so others in the family don't think of him in a negative manner because a man still gets harshly judged for not having several gfs. Why?

If anything, I find that much better than a past experienced, manipulative ex I once had.

[Finchie40]

Your Mom is silly if she is lying about that , and for whatever reason she is doing so , is stupid on her part , my guess is your Mom thinks since you are his first , that he isn’t mature enough to be in a relationship period because he has no experience whatsoever, which again is stupid on your Mom’s. Part to assume that’s true. One thing I learned about relationships , is to keep the relationship between you and your partner , don’t tell others’ shit , just say you are happy together and leave it at that. , when couples start advertising their relationship and can’t keep their mouths shut over things , other people will just assume things and make up their own stories about that couple , relationships should only be between you and your partner and no one else period , because it’s your relationship not theirs

[Asker]

My mom is happy with whom I'm with. I think she simply must've noticed he was a serious, reserved man (and assumed he wasn't very experienced in relationships) and thinks that by adding fake stories about him having past gfs will make him look much better among others. He's already well liked within my friends and family. Honestly, I'm seeing that all they ever care is that we love each other and he treats me great.

[Finchie40]

That’s all that matters ,

[MrOracle]

Because the world that IS is not the world that SHOULD be. Ideally, a man being a virgin when marrying his wife should be completely normal and fine - but that's not the world we live in. In our world, men ARE judged negatively by lots of people (most women) if they lack sexual experience, because that's seen as a reflection of his masculinity and overall worth. It shouldn't be, but it is.

Women often think that men are never judged for their sexuality, but they definitely ARE judged - just usually in the opposite way that women are judged.

[Asker]

It's indeed a strange world we live in. If anything, a man that had multiple relationships that always ended in break-ups, keeps ending up with drama and always ends in the same mistake over and over sure isn't reflecting a good history. That would be an unstable man.

[MrOracle]

I agree - but that's not how most of the modern world sees things.

Rather, they see that the men who are the most desirable always have a LONG, LONG list of women they've slept with, so that's the yardstick that is used to evaluate men.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the tangled web of societal expectations! People often think a “man of experience” is more respected, but real talk—there's nothing wrong with your husband being authentic and honest about his past. 🥰 It's all about lovebombing with truth, not impressing with fiction! Society can be one quirky beast, but you and your husband are doing love right. Your mom’s intentions might be to shield him from unnecessary judgment, but the way you adore his honesty is the real relationship glow-up! Stay true to your heart, you're living the dream with love, not lies. ✌️

[Anonymous]

It's good that you feel this way. But the REALITY is the majority of your gender DO NOT feel the same. I had a woman once approach me, talk to me, give me her number even (I didn't ask for it she just gave it to me) as soon as she learned of my limited history with women, she couldn't get away from me fast enough.🤷‍♂️😆

I don't consider this a bad thing I can make assumptions why she thought it was. But either way she probably did me a favor by walking away.

[Asker]

It's sad the world works upside down. I had an experienced ex boyfriend (cad type) once and actually there is really nothing good at having many past relationships that end up in break-ups. He ended up being a manipulative narcissist, never progressing things, always needing to be in another new relationship if the one he was in wasn't perfect, always falling in love with any new girlfriend he just started dating, telling me worthless conversation about his sexual experiences with 3 of is ex gfs (if you were so much in love then why do you have exes) only loving the new spark and romance but all a fantasy. Totally, messed up unstable man that doesn't share similar values nor actually values commitment. Those men aren't marriage-minded with like-minded goals and values. They're really losers. Worst man ever.
My husband is the best. I have commitment (marriage) and a future child from him. I'm currently pregnant now. Quality over quantity any time.

[StevenMcGarrett]

That is nice to hear but I think you are in the minority. I believe most women want to think their boyfriend is such a stud but then gave up all of those women for her.

[Asker]

From my former stud ex boyfriend, all I got were lies, manipulation and was kept at eternal girlfriend position with false promises of marriage and kids. Those studs aren't marriage-minded. They are so experienced that they can use that to manipulate and even be narcissists cads.
Meanwhile with my now (then virgin fiance) husband, I'm now pregnant.

[StevenMcGarrett]

Yes, you see the light. I'm glad you figured it out. Congratulations on your marriage and future child.

[spartan55]

@asker
With respect, your experience with your ex is not how it goes for the majority of relationships. Just because a guy has experience doesn't mean he does any of the negative things you mentioned.

[noohair]

WoW... Your Mom has issues that you can't fix.

[boggboss]

Because people operate on stupid beliefs

[Asker]

Exactly