I’m officially single?

[Anonymous]

Today my now ex fiancé got upset because I switched an old mattress with another old one that was (his grandmothers) old mattress for a family member. The family wanted a brand new one but funds are already accounted for since we have a baby on the way.

He’s upset that I never said anything..( didn’t get the chance to yet). Instead of being an adult about it and having a conversation he proceed to text me how upset he was & how he was done & that he was moving out our bedroom.

I’ve put up with so much from miscarrying our first kid and dealing with it by myself, weird treatment from his family to him putting our relationship to the back burner & gossip to his female friend about me so I’m not fighting anymore.

Rather than dealing with our issues he decides to avoid and not communicate. I’m done and for the sake of our unborn child now I will never get back with him. What I will do is save and get my own place with our kid and we’ll coparent.

I’m not disregarding the sentimental value of the mattress but it’s been upstairs untouched for a long time I actually forgot which one was hers. I even said I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful but honestly it was going to be a problem regardless.

There’s enough stress I deal with since I’m the one pregnant and work everyday.

I’m not trying to act as if what I did was right because I honestly forgot then remembered while working then planned to talk to him about it literally today.

I can’t be the only one that thinks this isn’t fucked up.

[HollyK21]

If you’re really done then make peace with that in your mind and start saving to move out. You don’t have to talk about it or make it a big deal in the house, that’s entirely too uncomfortable. Just bide your time. It seems like there have been flags, signs, everything you need to be single now (especially after the first miscarriage), and you still stick around. I don't know what it would take to make you stop giving him and that situation hope but at the end of the day when you know better you’re supposed to do better. You know better! So make your actions match that.

[Staximus]

This is all very childish. The guy shouldn't be so mad about an old bed. Does he pray to the old mattress or something? On the other hand you are a poor communicator and can't just give other people's shit away. You could have just said "hey I'm giving so-and-so one of the old beds" so he could have said "don't give away the sacred grandma bed" or whatever. You are both wrong and need to stop acting like children, because you're about to be a parent.

[Asker]

Ever heard of pregnancy brain? I’m literally doing everything and juggling multiple things and I forgot simple as that. I should’ve asked your right but when I work 40+hrs a day on top of cooking, cleaning while he gets the luxury of being home it slipped my mind sorry. Your right the whole situation is childish but that grown man also needs to grow up especially since he’s older than me

[Staximus]

Why are you with a bum that doesn't work

[Staximus]

Why would you have a baby with a bum with no job

[Asker]

He doesn’t work because he technically doesn’t have to he makes enough not to

[Ariesman81]

Gonna play devil's advocate... but it sounds like this is something he's dealt with before on. Doing things without consulting with him. Yeah... the mattress may be trivial but I'd be willing to bet it's just the last straw. You say you're looking for communication, but he's literally begging you do the same. And making a decision and then telling me about it after the fact... yeah... that shits infuriating!

[Asker]

That’s the issue though, I forgot not that I purposely didn’t tell him. if he forgets to bring something to my attention then it’s swept under the rug but when it’s me it’s different. And to be honest we both have done things without mentioning it to one another I’m just the one who doesn’t get upset about it because stuff happens. And again I’m fucking pregnant I literally have a million things on my mind on top of stressing over my own health. But we’re just two DIFFERENT people.

[Ariesman81]

Of course you don't get upset about it. You don't think there's anything wrong with it. But he does... and you're being dismissive.

[AI Opinion]

Oh darling, it sounds like you're really going through it. 😢 Relationships can be more complex than a Rubik's cube, and sometimes, no matter how hard we twist and turn, they just don’t match up. It sounds like you're making a healthy choice, prioritizing your and your unborn child's well-being and finding strength in a difficult situation. Being with someone who doesn’t prioritize communication can feel like you’re having a conversation with a wall. Keep your head high, and remember, love isn’t about settling for less. You’ve got the courage to set up the environment your little one deserves. 💪🌸

[ChicoFromThe305]

Breaking up over a mattress is just leaving me speechless, it only shows he doesn't really care about you and he was basically just dealing with you if he was able to let you go that fast, sounds like the spark died a long time ago.

[Asker]

Forgot to add our anniversary was supposed to be this month too😅 I’m 6 months pregnant as well

[ChicoFromThe305]

The perfect timing is kinda concerning, perhaps it was planned, maybe he planned it like light from death note just talking to himself all evil like "she will grab the wrong mattress! and I will have all the rights to tell at her to go away and not return because the mattress is dirty and old like the one she tried to replace mwahahaha"

[Asker]

That made me laugh but honestly that’s a possibility but I can’t even be upset it’s like he only knows how to deal with the women in his family and not one outside of his family

[ChicoFromThe305]

That's not much of an excuse for his lack of patience, making a big deal over a mattress is some drama queen vibes, he could've just said why it's a bad idea instead of acting like everyone has psychic powers.

[BetaBucks]

This dude either has a personality disorder, or he's using this as a weak excuse to break up cuz he already wanted to. No sane person gets that upset about something like this. You're better off without his drama.

[slatyb]

Why are you still talking to him? Make a full break.