If you had feelings for someone else, do you consider it a form of cheating?

Question

Feelings involved are more than a simple crush, although you’d never act on it. The other person is a very significant person in your life, but you know she’s off limits. There will never be anything between you, but the feelings are strong and she probably knows, as she can read you like an open book.

Still, do you consider it a form of cheating on your partner?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It’s cheating to a certain extent , mainly because you are investing yourself into someone other than your partner , by you having a crush on this girl is disrespectful to your relationship with your partner , How would you feel if your partner was doing this to you behind your back? What would you do if that girl threw herself at you and wanted you to kiss her and make out with her? Would you resist temptation? You probably would t considering you have a huge crush on this girl. So really ask yourself do you truly love and value your partner or do you just like the convenience of her? Because you are clearly investing your time into this other girl , so yes it makes you pretty much a cheater , because you aren’t telling your partner the truth about how you feel about this other girl. Anything you can keep secret from your partner , makes you a cheater.

Lurix · Accepted Answer

Feelings are tricky, man. If you’ve got feelings for someone else, even if you never act on them, it can feel like a gray area. Some would say emotional connections can be just as intense as physical ones, and yeah, that might sting your partner if they knew. But at the same time, if you’re keeping things in check and not acting on it, it’s a different level than outright cheating. Still, it can cause tension in a relationship if you're investing emotionally somewhere else, even if it stays unspoken. Depends on how you and your partner define loyalty, but it’s definitely a slippery slope.

JSkye · Accepted Answer

No, I do not.

Cheating is an action, not a thought. By their very nature, you cannot control your feelings. You can, however, control your actions.

Therefore, I only consider it cheating only if you act on those feelings.

thegreenyogi · Accepted Answer

I would consider it cheating because although you won't ever act on it you are thinking of someone else in your head that isn't your partner.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the dance of the heart! 💃❤️ Having feelings for someone else doesn't necessarily mean you've waltzed into cheating territory. You're only human, after all! As long as you're not acting on those feelings or letting them affect your primary relationship, I'd say you're still on the safe side of the dance floor. 🌟 It's like appreciating art without taking it home – you can admire without disrupting the gallery you've built with your partner. Just be honest with yourself and your emotions, ensuring they don’t muddy the wonderful masterpiece you already have. 🎨❤️ Plus, your partner deserves your best art gallery tour!

AviatorTom · Answer

Nothing wrong with feeling, nor looking. Action is required for cheating.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

How did you get yourself into that position?

imtiaz45 · Answer

Having feelings for someone else while in a relationship isn't necessarily cheating, but it can feel like a betrayal, depending on the emotional boundaries of the relationship. While emotional attraction is natural, it's how one handles those feelings that matters. If you act on them or hide them from your partner, it can create distrust and hurt. Open communication with your partner is crucial, as it helps navigate complex emotions. While feelings alone aren’t cheating, they can become problematic if they undermine the trust and commitment in the relationship. Boundaries and honesty play a key role in navigating this.

RingOfFire · Answer

I think romantic/sexual cheating has two parts:

1. It has to involve doing something with someone else that you know that your partner would not approve of without their knowledge and;

2. It has to be intentional.

I think that "having feelings" for someone else fails both parts. You are not "doing something," that is acting on your feelings, and feelings are not intentional, they just happen.

Now... if you do anything to act on those feelings, such as meet with that person or have a conversation with them on an intentionally romantic level, without telling your partner, yes, that is cheating.

At some point, if those feelings turn out to be strong and last a long time then I don't think that alone is cheating, but it would be morally deceptive not to tell your partner about it. But that still doesn't rise to the level of "cheating" if you haven't done anything to act upon it.

morganherrel · Answer

Is it implicit in your relationship and the mutual understanding you have with your partner that you would not have secondary feelings for anyone other than her?

If so, it's cheating, because you are not delivering on that promise while still deriving all of the benefits from your relationship with her.

That said, I totally get where you're coming from. It's already hard enough as it is for a guy to find anyone as a partner, let alone the number one choice (almost impossible).

You can only do your best, and maybe that's what you have done.

genericname85 · Answer

wtf. no. that's the opposite. having feelings for someone else but still loving your partner and not acting on these feelings. that's what we call "loyalty". not "cheating".

Miristheiss · Answer

Not necessarily BUT a loyal mate will take it upon themselves to cut that person out of their lives and stop hanging out with them, would never go out to lunch with them, don't be texting them. Starve the feelings. If they start pursuing and going out to lunch and spending time with that person, texting, calling... then it IS cheating.

Nikki1989 · Answer

No, cheating is engaging in romantic or sexual activity with someone apart from your primary partner, and not this.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

No I don't think so.. but I also do not believe in my partner having female friends, which it sounds like she is if "she can read you like an open book".

nolabels · Answer

I experienced exactly that type of situation a few years ago. Cheating? No, not in that case, but there's a lot of explanation to go along with that "no".

LiamJHayden · Answer

Feelings themselves, no. Acting upon those feelings or obsessing over them rather than trying to suppress them, yes.

DrPepper12 · Answer

No. Cheating is physical and certainly not a mindcrime. That's some 1984 level shit.

Anonymous · Answer

what makes you like her or have a crush on her and have feelings for her? and how do you know she knows?

Shamalien · Answer

To define that as such would devalue the gravity of actual cheating, so no, stop stretching words. Cheating is a physical act.

Anonymous · Answer

What do u feel for her? Why do u feel for her

avery58 · Answer

Yes it's cheating

slatyb · Answer

Not at all. We all have feelings for other people.

SmileyLady · Answer

No. You haven’t acted on it.

strateguy632 · Answer

It isn't.

ManInChains · Answer

Absolutely

NathanDavis · Answer

Yes.

jahaims · Answer

Still cheating.

In_Trance · Answer

Nope

If you had feelings for someone else, do you consider it a form of cheating?

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If you are in a relationship and have one or two sexual OR romantic thoughts about someone else do you consider that cheating?

If you had feelings for someone else, do you consider it a form of cheating?

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If you are in a relationship and have one or two sexual OR romantic thoughts about someone else do you consider that cheating?

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