Is thinking about someone else in a relationship cheating?

Question

_Lucian · Accepted Answer

It depends. There was a girl that I REALLY loved but I messed up and she got away. I think about her all the time and miss her a lot. When I eventually find someone else it will still be very hard for me to not think about the other girl. I don't think about the one that got away sexually for some reason. I think about her more in a romantic comforting way so I feel like if it's that way it's not as bad.

McLlovin · Accepted Answer

Thinking about someone else isn’t cheating, however if you find yourself thinking about someone else in a romantic way a lot then you and your significant other need to have a talk and figure out why

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Does it violate a promise that you made to your partner? If not, then it is not cheating, but. . . it MAY be a sign that your relationship is in trouble, or even that you should not be in this relationship at all.

LesterJester · Answer

Until the government can properly form a bregade of thought police, our thoughts are our own.

Thinking, imagination, fantasy are just that. The only time cheating becomes a thing is when you take action upon those thoughts.

It's the same thing as when someone saying when you look at someone else or check them out, that's cheating... It isn't and that's utter BS.

Whether you're single, just started dating someone, been with someone for a few years, recently married or have been married for decades, we all still find other people attractive or whom have attractive traits. Glancing at someone, checking them out or having some hypothetical fantasy play out in your head about someone else is perfectly normal.

Chesting is when you take action on those thoughts behind your partner's back and break trust. Relationships require trust to be actual relationships.

there's some who have open relationships or are into having multiple partners, but both in the relationship are fully aware and accept this being how their relationship works. They still trust one another and even may set certain boundaries, but at the end of the day, it works for them and they're happy. It isn't for everyone, but if it's for them, is that cheating if they are aware of the extra partners and allow it? Nothing is happening behind their back, they're not being lied to or deceived.

So, as it goes towards thinking about someone else or having fantasies of someone else from time to time, there's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure my wife finds others attractive and may even have fantasies from time to time. So long as it stops there, I don't give a crap.

If it came down to someone judging me or dictating to me how I should think, then I don't need those kinds of people in my life.

My thoughts are my own, just as your thoughts are yours. At best, if my partner started attacking me over the random thoughts that come into my head or criticised what I thought about, I would either break up, or simply stop sharing my thoughts and say I'm not thinking about anything... Which would no doubt lead to breaking up anyways.

Nobody needs to be with someone that fk'n controlling.

SkyCastle90 · Answer

You either want someone else or you can't move on; it's cheating when you start making an active decision to move on/pursue the other person while in a relationship, whether it be emotional or physical.

Either way, you're not being fair to yourself or your partner simply because your partner is always lacking no matter how good they are to you (which means they are not given the appreciation and love they deserve), and you're constantly lying to yourself about what you want, which creates that seed of resentment. This is a common situation almost everyone will experience sometimes in their life, often people throw away a stable relationship for a fantasy; but understand this, the grass isn't always greener.

A good rule to follow is, if a man or women gives you an enormous amount of attention and pushes boundaries, then that person is trash no matter how charismatic or funny he/she is.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

It's normal to have random thoughts or to be attracted to attractive people from time to time. If it's affecting your relationship, where you're constantly 'zoning out' or thinking those thoughts while engaging with your current partner, then that's a problem.

Your partner deserves someone who can give them their full undivided attention and someone who doesn't struggle being attracted to them or feel the need to be rewarded to stay. Fleeting thoughts can be fun and add a little spice in the bedroom.

lilyanony1 · Answer

I think if its a dumb random celeb crush then maybe not.
But a colleague or a friend or a random person that approached you and you exchanged numbers with.
You're a cheater.
Reason being is that in the event you start replacing your partner with your new flame you instantly start creating scenarios where this could really work between the two of you.

In sex I personally can say I don't fantasize, I'm in the moment with the person.

I have my eyes open focused on them, channelling my feelings for them and what we're doing together through my body and trying to connect with them.

Eye contact is essential and intense.

If I can't have that, if i can't enjoy that with you the sex is dead.

Attraction and the desire to be with you and only you is the key component.

AD240pCharlie · Answer

Depends on the circumstances. If you're masturbating while thinking of someone else, then no. If you're fantasizing about someone else in a romantic setting, then it might be a sign that you should distance yourself from that person (especially if it happens more than once) but still not cheating per se. If you're thinking of someone else WHILE having sex... well, that's definitely disrespectful (at least if you tell your partner about it) but still not cheating.
Something doesn't need to be "cheating" in order for it to be disrespectful or dishonest.

helppls · Answer

It depends on who you are thinking about.
If you don't have feelings for your partner anymore but have feelings for the person you are thinking about, break up with your partner and talk to the person you were thinking about.
I mean, life is short.

Heartache0405 · Answer

I'd consider it cheating. Emotional cheating. You should be thinking about your partner. Not someone else. Thinking leads to doing majority of the time. If you keep thinking about someone else you're gonna wanna do more than just think about them eventually.

loveslongnails · Answer

You're in for a rough relationship and a rude awakening if you believe that you'll never, ever, EVER have a single thought of any kind, about another person while you're with someone else. And if you do, it would be cheating. There are a few people I'd like to see dead - does that make me a murderer?

Leonharted · Answer

Cheating is not a passive act. If someone pops into your head, without any attempt from you, then no, it is definitely not cheating. If you are obsessing over someone else in your head, then I would consider it a form of disloyalty, yes.

Nomoturtle · Answer

Cheating is an act, not an intent.  Let's not go into thought-crimes at east for this year, yeah?

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

We have random thoughts everyday. However, if you act on any lustful/romantic thoughts, you're already there.
I always let it be known that I have a girlfriend, when I notice a lady is a little too close or is flirting.

Curmudgeon · Answer

We are what we *do*, not whatever crazy thought may happen to pass through our minds at any given moment.

roro_hlbi · Answer

No, it's only thinking so it's not cheating. It get be too much and make problems but a little is normal

TruthBringer · Answer

Thinking about them in a romantic or sexual way? Yes. That's called emotional cheating.

jahaims · Answer

Depends what you are thinking. If you are thinking about how you would rather be in a relationship with someone else yeah. If you are beating off while thinking about a porn star no.

jshm2 · Answer

Whuh?  You mean like thinking about snacks, is cheating on dinner? Grow the hell up.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I hope not. But if it's happening too much maybe your relationship isn't that great.

Anonymous · Answer

Truly a new low in stupid. Thinking is not cheating. Idiot.

Mangospacho · Answer

Yes it is cheating. I have had 39 affairs in just the past hour, bringing my total to cheating 34,968 times.

najekim · Answer

Thinking is not. More like fantasizing. Cheating would be what actions are taken.

Nikki102002 · Answer

Depends if they hang out with that person a lot I can say it could be emotional. But if their with you no but it comes off as creepy.

exitseven · Answer

No, you have a right to your own thoughts.

lovedejj_xo · Answer

I love that song! And ehhhhh not really.

clampfan101 · Answer

What kind of thoughts?

Jouth · Answer

Naw I think about you all the time

Gwenhwyfar · Answer

No. It’s not.

Slim57 · Answer

Yes it's called emotional cheating

Babygirl_S · Answer

No 🤷🏻‍♀️

emperor90 · Answer

Not unless u act

Joshua0213 · Answer

Depends on who it is

Is thinking about someone else in a relationship cheating?

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If you are in a relationship and have one or two sexual OR romantic thoughts about someone else do you consider that cheating?

Is thinking about someone else in a relationship cheating?

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If you are in a relationship and have one or two sexual OR romantic thoughts about someone else do you consider that cheating?

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