How do you handle separating from your partner for months?

[Anonymous]

How do you prepare for it?

For a variety of factors - work, following some family interests and following the purchase of property - I will be leaving wife and children for at least a month. I will live in the US and they will stay home.

Honestly, I am getting a bit anxious, sad and depressed about this. My wife is encouraging me and reassuring me I am doing what it needs to be done for our family (I'm handling some business for her too), but we've never separated for this long. Of course we will be in touch and I will fly back home when possible and then fly back.

But it still feels bittersweet as hell. Of course I trust my wife and she trusts me, but we'll be in different continents for so much time.

Updates

1 y

I am a bit nervous and anxious, Sunday is the big day of the departure, so I took today off so we can have the weekend together.
My wife will accompany me on the drive to the airport, maybe my mother and children will come too so we can have our goodbyes.

It's bittersweet because I am really excited about this adventure, but I would have preferred to have my family with me.

[OlderAndWiser]

For the past two years, my wife has returned to China in October and November. She was gone about 25 days each time. I encouraged her to make those trips as she had not spent much time with her family over the past 15 years, her father is alive but 93 years old, and there are some old issues in the family that perhaps would not get resolved but might find some forgiveness.

We talked on the phone every 3-4 days (much more difficult to call China) and exchanged DMs more often. I kept to my routine and made sure that I did not do anything to "console" myself (like drinking alcohol.)

Doing the right thing is not always easy, my friend, but I am sure you will have a sweet homecoming when you return to Italy. I am curious; where in the US will you be?

[Asker]

I find it noble that you encouraged your wife to do these trips even if it meant not seeing her for so much.

I will be on the East Coast, mostly Massachusetts but will also be visiting New York and Washington D. C.. I have been to New York many times but I never had the occasion to visit Washington.

[midnightmoon05]

Come hangout with me and lightbulb27. We are in Trumbull CT.

[Valdemort]

Not speaking from experience, but my cousin had to live in the US for a year so there'd be a 9h time difference between her and her husband.
They would call during times one would go to bed and the other would wake up. Text each other their plans for the day/week in case either one had a lot going on and would be inactive for a while.
They always invited one another to events that were planned, regardless of whether it would be manageable or not - they didn't want to have to deal with "why didn't you ask me" "I would've tried" "I could've come over" "I would've made time" kinda regrets. So regardless of the logistical side of it, if they were going to go somewhere that they'd usually do together, they'd still invite the other.
And never end/start the day on bad terms ✌🏼🙂

[Valdemort]

And FaceTime/ videocall...

[IslaTheWitch]

can you visit them at least once for a weekend during this time? it should be easier to bear...

[Asker]

Yes, we discussed about this possibility. Maybe not every weekend, but at least every couple of weeks.

[IslaTheWitch]

so do it... it would lesser the burden you feel and it wouldn't feel so lonely

[es20490446e]

I would focus on it being a temporal thing, and that I can be grateful and enjoy other things for the moment being.

That said I would probably be able to talk with them often on videoconference.

For instance you can keep a camera on.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the bittersweet tango of separation! Leaving your loved ones, even for a good cause, can be brutal. Trust and communication are key here, like a perfect dance routine. Keep those virtual dates sizzling with video calls, and sprinkle in some spicy texts to remind her she's on your mind. 📱❤️

Surprises work wonders – send a love letter or plan a surprise visit if you can. Your wife's trust and encouragement are golden, so lean into that. You're both strong and committed, and this is just a blip in your fabulous story! Keep that love alive, my dear. ✈️💕

[Nikki1989]

Avoid dwelling on negative thoughts and focus on the present moment.