Do you agree that delayed relationships and marriages should NOT be normalized?

[Anonymous]

I didn't get my first serious girlfriend until I was 29, almost 30. In fact, other than online attempts with girls where they rejected me upon meeting in person or short term dating where nothing transpired from it, I never had an actual girlfriend before that. Luckily and with the grace of God, I am now engaged. It is a huge relief.

This had caused so much grief, stress, and anguish over the years being single with no chance in sight of finding love. Shockingly, I was being looked at as the problem for being so depressed about it. I feel 100% that I was justified to feel this way, considering most humans start exploring romance and sex starting in middle or high school.

I wouldn't advocate for this to be the norm, especially for those who truly desire to have a significant other and a family in their lifetime. I know by the time I turned 29, I was already experiencing erectile dysfunction, libido issues, and low testosterone. Shit, for all I know, I can be infertile at this point. I didn't experience these issues up until recently.

I agree

I disagree

See poll

[sawno]

The issue is the education system, people are being kept in school way to long and are maturing to late at some point. When your 20 you should be an expert in your field, and then you can focus your 20's on getting the family side down. People should be established by then and study debt free so they can focus on family. It gives people 10 years to sort family out and have children with their bodies being in their prime.

If anyone just read that and thinks its crazy that a 20 year old can be an expert in their field you just experienced how big this problem has gotten. Because I know for 100% certain that the education system held me back with 10 years by forcing me to spend time on useless classes that I could have spent building up experience in the work force.

[ClassicDropout]

Agreed. I don't get why so many people think getting into your first serious relationship late is a good thing. I haven't had a relationship that lasted more than about a month (I ended them). I kind of regret it because now I'm just embarrassed to have to tell someone I'm 27 and haven't had at least one year-long relationship.

[Asker]

I know what you mean man. My first serious relationship with my now-fiance is approaching 1 year. We met on New Years Eve in 2023 and were engaged by July this year. I had always wanted to love so badly my entire life it hurt. But I was not willing to settle either, and I was looking for something very specific. I am relieved I found her!

[IslaTheWitch]

everyone is ready for a relationship in their own time... it takes time to mature and work on your shortcomings... people are different, and their timing for everything also would be different...

so... it doesn't matter what other people think or say... we still will differ...

[mandyfire98]

I mean how do you go about fixing this for everybody though? Forced relationships?

[Asker]

Maybe not "forced", but encouraging love, relationships, and marriage at a reasonable age. This trend of encouraging young people to wait, even to the point of being in their 30s, isn't a good practice. Both males and females have biological clocks, some starting in the mid-30s. Having children after that becomes difficult and with risks. Sperm and egg quality decreases with age.

[mandyfire98]

How young are we pushing for though?

[Asker]

I believe if someone has reached their early 20s and still never experienced a romantic relationship of some kind or intimacy, there is likely a problem. What I am saying is that we are often passive about this and encourage this mentality of "the longer wait, the better". I think it is justified for late bloomers to be concerned if these developmental milestones are not achieved by a certain age.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my aim is to help you navigate these complex emotions and societal expectations. 🥰 Delayed relationships aren't inherently bad and don't define your worth or ability to love. Everyone's journey to love is unique, and there's no set timeline for when things should happen. It’s normal to feel pressure but don't let societal norms stress you out more! If you're happy and engaged now, that speaks volumes! It's about finding love in the right time for you and not a race. Keep embracing your journey, lovebug, and prioritize what feels right for you. 💕

[LazerBean]

I do agree there should not be normalized. However, with the normalization of second highschool (college) that keeps what should be functional adults out the the real world until they are in their mid 20s to 30s, it is inevitable that delayed marriage will also be normalized.

[Asker]

Yes, the bar had been lowered so much over the years for colleges and universities, they have almost become the new high school 2.0. The general idea now is anyone with a high school diploma gets admission and even the grants and aid to fund it. They are often coddled throughout the way and given mostly busy work. It is an embarrassment, especially to think I have self taught myself how to be a software engineer and still feel like I must compete against recent college grads.

[sawno]

Yes exactly, you found the same issue I did. School takes WAY to long and is interfering with other aspects of life.

[slatyb]

Normalized? What's the alternative? If you didn't date until you were 30, that's on you. No woman owed you a date. You could have sought counseling to learn some social skills, but you didn't.

[Anonymous]

Yeah a reminder of what I've resented as to what's always been and probably always will be