Do you think it's a selfish and immature thing for men not to pursue relationships?

Question

I've gotten mixed responses from people when discussing other topics, so I'll go ahead and ask it plainly here.

Saramad_Hill · Accepted Answer

This doesn't just apply to men, this applies to literally anyone who's old enough (and hopefully mature enough) to date.

You can absolutely live your life single until you die of old age if that's what you want to do (can't think of too many people like that but they're out there)

No one's forcing you to date. If someone's calling you selfish-- why? I was under the impression that people who want to date are going to be better partners than people who do not want to date.

Also... dating is just hard. It's hard to find someone who wants to date, and harder to find someone you're compatible with on top of that. I fully believe the world population is about to plummet someday, but that's no one's fault, more of a societal issue. Modern living is rough and burnout is a pandemic. How are we going to date when we're living paycheck to paycheck? (It's possible but not simple, nothing is)

Also there's like this massive gender war thing going on (which I don't support) but that also makes partners more jaded and hard to locate. Both sides have faults and folks rarely want to admit their privileges and flaws.

So no, you're not selfish or immature for being single or waiting to date. The odds are against you. The odds might actually just be against everyone except for the confident and attractive.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

I think it's perfectly fine.

Why would I blame a guy for wanting to do anything else that he enjoys instead of being a dancing monkey pay pig for women that does nothing other than figure out algorithms to get panties to drop?

I mean let's think about this...

Negatives: You won't get pussy

Positives: Don't have to put up with her shit, won't get manipulated, played, shit tested, have money stolen, cheated on, bitched at, listen to stupid mother fucking problems, get to do what you want with your free time, et cetera.

I don't see a downside... just so I don't write out a huge fucking list here.

SnowyOwl · Accepted Answer

It's fine.

Instead think its actually selfish to start a non committal short term relationship. Cuz that's just using someone for as long as you need them, disposing when you feel you've had enough. That's guaranteed emotional damage, especially when they don't admit the damage because they will never grow/evolve 🙄 A bunch of bull crap.

So by all means, stay single, it's much more admirable if you have things you're focusing on and working on who you are becoming.

NewWaves · Accepted Answer

To me, so long as they have a more noble purpose and objective, I'd say no.

I'm not going to find someone who chooses celibacy due to religious reasons for example, immature and selfish. It's a higher calling.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach, my mission is to help you understand the colorful world of love and its quirks 💕. Not pursuing relationships isn't inherently selfish or immature; it's about personal choice and where someone is in life. People have different priorities and timelines, and that's totally okay! Falling in love isn't a race, and recognizing one's readiness (or lack thereof) is actually pretty mature. But hey, keeping an open heart might just surprise you! 😊

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

Some people definitely shouldn't be a relationships. If people like that abstain from relationships, they're saving their partners from a lot of confusion and heartache. So I would call that a mature decision.

Also, people may have other reasons not to pursue relationships. If you're a brilliant artist, or a genius scientist, you might want to direct your energy toward your passion, rather than a relationship. Again, I would call that a mature decision.

So no, not all men who avoid relationships are immature or selfish.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Sometimes it is, but let's be real; the women have to be desirable to have a relationship with.

It's not all on men; we're only half the equation. If the women aren't doing their part to create a personal connection, men aren't necessarily being immature by not forming that relationship.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Some men fear the emotional vulnerability and responsibility that come with a relationship, and those men need to stay out of the picture, so the cream can rise to the top.

the29thhuman · Answer

It’s fine if you don’t pursue a relationship. Just make sure to also not pursue women in that time. We sense your inadequacy with our gut instinct, no matter what you say it just doesn’t line up with our instincts.
You’re best to go do self reflection. Better yet go be fathers to your sons and respect your daughters

IslaTheWitch · Answer

it's his personal decision... what the rest of the world has to it? nothing... his life, his decisions, his responsibilities...

NathanOlipop · Answer

It's not selfish to use your own agency as you wish so long as you aren't disrespecting the agency of others. It is selfish however to bitch while not encouraging men to pursue relationships if you find it a problem, especially if you're being extremely picky about who you want to encourage.

dragoblack · Answer

Nope, too many women in the USA want to be constantly pampered by men, not treat him as a person, and get mad when he has feelings & emotions aside from happy & playful. Men are tired of being used and abused mentally, emotionally, financially, and sometimes physically.

Anonymous · Answer

No, and that sounds like shaming language from someone trying to force you to do something they want.

However, I would suggest that you are missing out on a lot of emotional growth and fulfillment by not going down that route.

But if you can't or won't, it's your life dude. Live it to your own standards and values, and ignore all the whining from others.

NamerOfStars · Answer

You can't even let them call their lives their own?

exitseven · Answer

Everyone has reasons for not looking for relationships. After having a few bad relationships I was going to give up on it for a while, maybe forever I was just sick of the games and the dishonesty

thegreenyogi · Answer

No I don't believe it's either selfish or immature. Those are things people who seek relationships tell you because your not seeking it makes them to call the whole thing into question.

Slim57 · Answer

No, as long as these women keep proving themselves not worthy for relationships, it's selfish and immature for women to be interested in 2024 and not approach who they're interested in instead of whining about men who approach they're not interested in

Unap0logetic_ · Answer

No and only if they’re not being toxic while doing it. There’s some people who purposely pursue those that are looking for a LTR. That’s the only thing I’m against, date whomever is looking for the same things as you are.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Not at all. Men should pursue things that enhance their lives, and relationships these days are badly stacked against men.

Anonymous · Answer

Why would it be selfish? Most women don't want to be with men.

Anonymous · Answer

The odds of ever being created and becoming you are astronomical. Why the hell would anyone waste that life? I never understood that accept defeat personality. Life doesn't come to you. You want something get out and get it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Selfish: How is their a requirement that men sacrifice their wants to do so? Immature: Can be. Could also be the opposite, prioritizing becoming fully self-sufficient

Anonymous · Answer

If you communicate that directly, clearly and honestly with the other party, it's just a boundary.  But then also don't ask the other to keep you around and invest in you.

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

Why would we think that or even care? Unless you're approaching women then you're wasting their time

TacosRAwesome · Answer

I don't think it is. People should do what works for them and gives the best benefit to society.

alice55 · Answer

Is it, is it also slutty behavior.

msc545 · Answer

No, it's just self-protection. Men are entitled to protect themselves.

lorenzomichael · Answer

No I don’t. I believe you should go after a woman whenever you feel like it. To hell with what everyone else says about it.

Dongie · Answer

Do they not have the right to be uninvolved in a relationship?

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Is it selfish and immature for women to not pursue relationships?

Pohjolan · Answer

I'd say that's a healthy level of selfishness. Its not like it work out anyway if he doesn't want it.

Anonymous · Answer

Regardless of whether someone chooses to pursue a relationship of not, they always do it for selfish reasons. Think about it.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

I want a buxom blonde girlfriend. Does that count?

NathanDavis · Answer

it's choice... live and let live

Deserter2 · Answer

Nah, they can't bitch about men not wanting relationships if no women wants to be in one with them

snowboarder720 · Answer

Who cares what anybody thinks? Just be yourself.

Account · Answer

I do not care. That is their own business.

ihateTaylorSwift · Answer

loneliness is better than drama

slatyb · Answer

That's just a personal choice.

Do you think it's a selfish and immature thing for men not to pursue relationships?

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