Why do some men contradict themselves saying they want a "traditional" stay at home woman then complain about needing to financially support her?

Question

They say women are not traditional like days of old.

Yet a woman who supports herself is deemed too independent and taking away a man's role of providing.

And the women that don't want to work and expect the man to provide for her are called gold diggers or a drain on a man's hard work and earnings.

(As I've said elsewhere - I don't expect a man to support me just be able to equally support himself as I do. And I want to love, support, cherish my man but have same in return. I think relationships should be mutual equality which accounts for masculine and feminine traits that compliment eachother. Without one gender treating the other inferior).

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

The irony of the majority. They don't really think deeply or philosophically. Many men complain about where all the good women went and expect women to do all the house work as well as still work an pay their half. I've seen it. I've met a lot of guys that growing up, had the women in their household do all the housework and just laze around. The women would do everything and quite frankly, I found the culture disgusting.

It's okay if the woman does the housework and the man provides, but not if she's doing everything like a lot of women nowadays. So I really don't blame women for not desiring entitled men like that. It's an entitled and spoiled mentality.

Many women are also guilty of romanticizing men in the past as well and truly contradicting what they desire. They also ask where have all the good men went. They expect to be provided for and just not do anything. They don't care about their appearance. They don't do any household work. They literally want all the benefits of equality without the responsibilities.

My opinion is both sexes need to wake the fuck up and think a little more about life. I am personally okay with either dynamic. I'm okay with splitting everything, whether it's restaurant dates, rent, chores, etc. I'm ALSO okay with a traditional dynamic where I provide and she does the housework (provided I make enough for the both of us).

If we both agree on a traditional dynamic, then I'm not telling her to just be a slave at home. As long as there's food on the table and the house is clean (which realistically should not take a large portion of the day... certainly less than a work day of 8 hours), then she's free to do whatever she wants to do. Whether it's pursuing hobbies, volunteering a few hours a day or a couple days a week, starting a side hustle of her own for fun, reading, writing, watching shows, painting, yoga, hiking, whatever the heck she wants. As long as she communicates with me where she is, what she's doing, and who she's with, I'm good with it.

mobiusforniner · Accepted Answer

Having married that traditional housewife, I’ll tell you it ain’t all roses. It’s a ton of work for me as her husband. She grew up with this idea she has no purpose other than to make babies and be a mom. She was perpetually depressed, anxious and screaming to be someone else on the inside. Sex was awful because she wasn’t happy with herself. Felt like humping a wood board. She was constantly told she was doing the right thing. Sure she cooked, sewed did dishes and made babies. But her misery made me absolutely miserable

It’s taken over TEN YEARS to unprogram her traditional mindset. I paid for her to finish college. Develop new hobbies. Got her involved with people who saw her for who she can be instead of what she was “supposed” to be. Life’s a lot better now. Sex is a lot hotter too. Imagine that

but to any guy wanting some stay at home slave- remember she’s a human being with life, goals and dreams. And unless you’re willing to invest the effort to contribute to a happy and worthwhile marriage, you are in for a welcome surprise.

Your next desperate and despair filled post to GAG would be “why do women cheat and have no respect for men…..”. Oh wait. There’s TONS of those questions on here….

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

I didn't hear you mention any children. I believe if you have children that the woman of the house should become a homemaker and do all that it takes to raise a family and love each other.

Back in the day women first entered the workforce full blown her children either went to daycare or if they were a little older, they went home to an empty house 🏠. Theyvwere referred to as latch key children. They had to be alone in the house and keep the doors locked 🔒🔐 until she got home from work.

I am a anti-feminists woman and I believe that if you have a family you should be at home taking care of all of them.

I hear these women that are on morning TV programs or are newscasters like on CNN quit their job because they want children. Then 3 months later you see them have a TV show of their own or go back to the same job. So, what about these children you wanted? Oh, some Nanny is taking care of them. Trader! Liar!

desidoll · Accepted Answer

Mostly because they are clueless about how much money they need to make in order to run the household efficiently when he is the only one who works. They assume they could afford everything, only to find out that they are struggling to keep up with the daily expenses. Secondly, their idea about “providing” is screwed. Providing house and food to your wives and kids are the bare minimum. They are not your pet. What about her shopping, beauty maintenance, weekend outing, annual vacation? Yea, of course she’s a gold digger when she starts asking him money to buy new dresses BUT if she doesn’t take care of herself, he’s going on ig to gawk on other attractive women.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the classic contradiction dilemma—my aim here is to help unravel this enigma of modern relationships with some spicy insights. 😏

It seems some folks want to have their cake and eat it too, craving a "traditional" setup while resisting the financial implications. It's a bit of an expectation tango where finding balance is like dancing on a tightrope. 🕺 Balance means dropping outdated roles and embracing equality. Mutual respect and understanding of both partners' aspirations make that tightrope much easier to walk! Keep prioritizing love, cherish those around you, and don't settle for anything less than equality. 💖

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Some guys - like some girls - don't really know what they want.

Orion84 · Answer

I think that where there is some confusion is the difference between a traditional woman and a gold digger.

A traditional woman, in this context, doesn't work, and instead, takes care of the home, the kids, meal preparation, cleaning, etc. Essentially, that is her job, and she works equally as hard as her husband. The only difference is that he gets paid for his work, and she doesn't. So, in return for the work she does at home, her husband supports her.

Whereas a gold digger does none of those things. She's akin to a leech, who expects her man to support her, while she does nothing of value in return. She just uses him to fund her shopping, nails, hair, etc, while contributing literally nothing to the relationship, aside from her presence.

When a guy says he wants a traditional woman, he is referring to the former, but more than likely ends up finding the latter.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with a woman wanting to be independant, or wanting to be a traditional wife; that's her choice, and she has every right to decide that for herself. Most guys hate gold diggers, though.

phraseology · Answer

Women always had to work. A traditional woman had to plant crops, harvest crops, cut hay in the field with a scythe, collect hay with a pitch fork, feed and water livestock, milk cows, collect chicken eggs, butcher livestock, pluck feathers off of dead chickens, cook meals, clean dishes, wash laundry by hand not in a washing machine, hang clothing on the line, iron laundry, fold and put away laundry, clean the house, make the bed, can vegetables for the winter, cure meat, make cheese, spin yarn, wave cloth, use that cloth to make clothing, mend damaged clothes, clean house, and many other chores all while raising children and being a loving wife. You live in a delusional fantasy. You think you get to ether work and be a gold diggering bitch that loves money, or you get to loaf on your ass in someone else's home they work for and occasionally say I love you. You're half assing it either way. Grow up and do all the things adults in relationships do. Everyone has to work, everyone has to do chores, everyone has to raise children, everyone has to be a good mate if they want to keep a partner. You have to wear all the hats. Men already do that.

MrCharlie13 · Answer

There's a huge difference between a tradwife and a gold digger. A traditional wife will use the money you earn for both of you. She will spend it on her to look good for you and also buy things for you and look after your home. A gold digger will use you as an ATM and spend it all on herself.

Once that is said. People who think like that should have the disposable income to back it up. It's fine if you as a man want a stay at home wife and she wants the same as long as your income can support the expenses of both, and that includes her wants and desires. If you want her to be a stay at home wife but you can only provide the bare minimum you are being delusional

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I invest quite some time understanding traditions and culture, this belongs to my research activities. This is a task I like.

However, when presented with new people to relate to. When it's not research. I tend to invest zero minutes with people sporting a traditional views profile, zero minutes with people sporting a stereotypical views profile, zero minutes with that because I heard already all I needed to hear. And I know already with whom I'll spend a good time. What type of person, which kind of profiles.

HighValue · Answer

Mostly what they mean by "traditional" today is someone that hasn't had casual sex, doesn't do drugs, isn't a single mother, doesn't have tattoos, is fair to the man in the relationship, wants to raise a family together, and is okay with the man making important decisions in the relationship. They mainly want someone with good morals, and to let them lead for things that are important to them.

If someone wanted a strictly traditional relationship with the man completely providing, that would also mean no car for the woman, no internet, no computer, no cell phone, no decisions for her at all, etc.

CuriousMoonFox · Answer

To the replies already given by others I'd like to add that I don't think too many men would hate the idea of a woman having her own income to contribute to the total family income so long she doesn't make too much for reasons reiterated thousands of times elsewhere.

In all honesty most of us wouldn't even care all that much about whether you're modern or traditional or whatever if we hadn't learnt that the former is very detrimental to us. I think many of us are open for negotiation (please don't call it simping...). I am under the impression however that just as many of us don't feel like the other side is (open for negotiation).

love_conquers_lust · Answer

They want a woman who is hot, loyal, can financially support themselves, and acknowledge that his opinion matters more. It’s not traditional. It’s a blend of perks from modern, traditional, and selfish demands. Something most men and women can’t achieve for themselves throughout their lives.

Second, your odds of getting equality are very slim. You’ve already lost that endeavor by mentioning masculine and feminine traits. Even couples with exactly equal salaries still aren’t rarely, if ever, equal.

Thirdly, why would you want to date a carbon copy of yourself?

BarryLiverstone · Answer

This is likely due to hearing about different parts of a relationship. If you hear terms like gold diggers and guys complaining about money it’s likely they are not talking about marriage but instead about paying for things before marriage and they don’t want to be taken advantage of.

When I hear guys talk about wanting a traditional girl that’s usually in contrast to them not wanting a modern girl who they may see as someone who is casual, not as loyal, irresponsible, and playing games.

So combine the two parts and that’s an answer to your question. It’s much like we hear girls complain about guys and dating when it comes down to it, and what kinds of guys many girls want. Do you agree?

genericname85 · Answer

it's not contradictory, cause as you already said. women aren't traditional anymore. so when a woman expects a man to provide for her, she's not willing to do her part. she still wants to be independend, fucking around. basically just freeload on his money while not doing the chores in the household, cooking for him and raising his children.

women are only cherry picking the best things of eithe traditional or modern relationships but refuse to take the "not so nice things" with their choice. that's why men aren't contradicory. it's just women are cherry picking.

Unit1 · Answer

a woman who supports herself is deemed too independent
women that don't want to work and expect the man to provide for her are called gold diggers

Right on target! These men are dumbasses, that get in their own way. Women can't win either way unless they start seeing men, who are not judgmental like that.

How the hell are women supposed to pay for a warm roof and her 4 walls and feed themselves and look like eye candy without making their money? The delulu in these men 😑

Oh well, less competition for me 🙃 👩😍

Why do some men contradict themselves saying they want a "traditional" stay at home woman then complain about needing to financially support her?

Anonymous · Answer

They are not the same men. Men who want a traditional relationship understand they must be providers. They want a woman who is willing to be the mother their children deserve and the homemaker he deserves.

Men complaining about gold diggers is just a backlash to what modern women have become. Modern women don't offer good men what they need, thus the complaining. Modern women who want to have a great career while raising children and then complain that men don't do their share around the home are just getting what they asked for. They decided to change the rules and just assumed men would be willing to play their new game. They're not.

Account · Answer

The ones you are talking about, want slaves. They expect women to work at least 5/7 per week 8 hours per day, at least total 40 hours per week, to go 50/50 even if she makes less than them, yet they also expect her to take care of the house, wash the dishes, look after the children, cook, clean, do the laundry etc while the only responsibility of these men is to work, they expect the woman to be a slave the entire day.

Miristheiss · Answer

Maybe... but I would say more of a situation where NON traditional women, career women, cannot cook, expect 50/50 house chores (they do not do lawn chores), argumentative, party girl, tattoos, promiscuous, husband is often 5th, 10th, 30th sexual partner... they expect traditional courting and male role treatment.

NewWaves · Answer

I think it's a case of giving the milk away without buying the cow or something.
Unless it's the guy's wife, or they've been together for a very long time, then no, I don't think men should financially support a woman he isn't serious with. And add on to that a family to raise.

chilldude33 · Answer

Consider individuals instead of generalizations. Men expect this, women expect that is not a productive discussion, unless we're talking about fundamental needs that can't be taken away. Find out what James, John and Aaron want specifically. Hell, maybe they think they could never be with a business lady until they meet one, and it turns out she is the one for them.

It's all about individual journeys, not generalizations.

Nikki1989 · Answer

The contradictory behavior usually stems from societal expectations and outdated gender roles. These kinds of men are awfully confused over what they want.

Adel50 · Answer

I don't. I'm married to a homemaker, I am solely responsible for my family's finances, and I don't complain or expect her to contribute.

Anonymous · Answer

Sounds like you are cherry picking a number of views of seeing that they don't necessarily all fit together.

Many men will support a women financially provided she is willing, loyal, and contributing on other ways. Typically house and children. And together they cooperate and build.

What they complain about is a princess that believes she's there to be served and give nothing positive back.

Raaj4you · Answer

I never said I want a traditional wife. I am an educated, modern, civilized man and I want a modern wife. I know if I pressurize my future wife to become a traditional wife, my relationship will not work and she will leave me. I am looking for a modern working woman who knows how to be a good wife and raise kids. That's all I am asking. I will not pressurize her to over work at home or office.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

We don't mind if you work. We just don't want you to be a whore. It's a simple concept. It's not that hard. re-state//background_color_rgba (0, 0, 0, 0), font_color_rgb (77, 77, 77), justifyLeft

alice55 · Answer

Because they're hypocrite and stupid they want the advantage of modernity and the advantage of traditional. They actually like both but only want what benefit them.

Radiate143 · Answer

Because they're idiots and aren't even worth this post

nastyb · Answer

because they know they can't afford a housewife many of them just want a housewife because it boosts their ego. They like the feeling of a woman needing them

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Men and women do this on many different things. It's called being a hypocrite because we're human lol. Everyone if analyzed deep enough will find something hypocritical about themselves.

Makeushiver · Answer

I've quoted himbefore but watch the movbie bio Lenny Bruce a 60's comic who said men want a woman who is a whore and a nun

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon.. I'm a man (a man) who doesn't know How to sell a contradiction

LiamS95 · Answer

I don't see a problem here other then those that make it a problem, I can easily support a woman financially but if she wants to work and contribute financially why would i have a problem with that

Kelley1 · Answer

That is not relevant. It is like asking why are some men different than other men.

Anonymous · Answer

You're 45 years old no one wants expect 60 year old men working low wage jobs. Why are you worried about this you're the stay at home wife that normal men are looking for.

Ariesman81 · Answer

I can tell you what I've learned. Usually the complaints from men come when the responsibility is being met but the authority is not being given.

ManOfHonor · Answer

I think this is a very sad reality where the men are not clear about what they truly want. It's all about being clear in the head and show the same in the attitude

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

They just talking ish. In order to have a stay home wife and take care of kids plus oneself takes a certain level of sustained income which most men don't come close to making.

dougeats · Answer

Well ladies should know by now we are a$$hole$ basically. But I would never do that just for the record.

WatchedPot · Answer

Check their political stance. That is usually the clearest method of determining if they want a "traditional" woman or one with freedoms.

Jackblue · Answer

Well all I can say is they have double standards.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Lot of guys (and girls) want the best of both worlds. Silly, but true.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Wonder if that complaint resonates largely for working- and middle-class men?

WhitneySnow · Answer

They’re cheap/broke. And I agree with you.

Anonymous · Answer

you're conflating 2 different types of men

Why do some men contradict themselves saying they want a "traditional" stay at home woman then complain about needing to financially support her?

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Why do men complain about lack of traditional women when they’re not traditional men and don’t even make enough to be sole providers of a family?

Why do some men contradict themselves saying they want a "traditional" stay at home woman then complain about needing to financially support her?

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Why do men complain about lack of traditional women when they’re not traditional men and don’t even make enough to be sole providers of a family?

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