At what point does an age gap become creepy?

[CuriousMoonFox]

10 years - regardless of gender

15 years - regardless of gender

20 years - regardless of gender

age is just a number regardless of gender

honestly, it's only creepy if you are a middle aged guy and the woman is in her twenties

A total of 50 votes were cast: 25 girls and 25 guys. See detailed results

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

In anything that is people's relation, what I find concerning is the lack or the downright absence of questioning, about our behaviors, our intents, our motives, within. Especially in the context of romantic love, since it is an area where many things are, per tradition and/or per personality, quite hidden. Potentially hidden far away within. Hidden from ourselves, hidden from others.

Ideally, shedding light on that, according to one's capacity, should make any relation significant. However significance is mostly for two people involved, inside a duo.

It's highly likely this significance will remain invisible to others, outside of this specific duo. Oh and there are trios too, but I guess a trio is not a trio, it looks like three separated duos? It's unclear to me.

[IridescentWave]

The issue is with the lower age. Studies seems to coalesce around the idea that the brain fully develops around age 25. So, I'd say at that point, when people are generally fully matured mentally, age gap is irrelevant. Before that, I'd be concerned about predation, but the acceptable gap would be wider as one ages.

[MK1997]

Brain development has nothing to do with sex. It's useless basically

[MK1997]

Nothing happens once you turn 25

[IridescentWave]

@MK1997 I get that perspective, but I see sexual relations as deeply connected with the mind.

[MK1997]

I don't lol

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

However such studies only account for the biological/neurological perspective, using only this perspective makes us miss a very important one in anything happening between people: Psychology

[CuriousMoonFox]

@Maybe_Maybe_not Is psychology not neurology and biology at some point?

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Let's say it like this, our brain is physical, our thoughts are not

[CuriousMoonFox]

@Maybe_Maybe_not The one doesn't go without the other. Despite all individual differences between people in terms of psychology, all 18 years olds will have different brains at 25 and as a consequence different psychologies and thus different relationships. So making a statement that people with fully developed brains should partner up with other people with fully developed brains sounds rather sensible because the psychology follows the brain not the other way round.

I do agree however with what I believe is your general message: That the inner reality of the people involved matters. Sometimes more than the outer reality that is age.

[LeatherDame]

The overall power dynamics matter the most, older people just tend to have more power (financial stability, emotional maturity etc) so tend to have more power in those dynamics which opens the door to risk.


There are times where the power dynamic can be inversed though.

[PeachyPie93]

Anything over 10 years is creepy for any gender.. since you will be in completely different stages of life at that point.. I prefer staying close to my own age group so we can age together and die together.. lol

[AI Opinion]

Age is just a number, right? Well, sometimes! When the gap jumps into the "creepy" territory, it's when power dynamics, emotional maturity, and life stages aren't aligned. It's a red flag if it resembles more of a mentorship than a partnership. As you've imagined, a 30-year-old dating a 65-year-old might raise eyebrows! Focus on mutual respect and shared values, and that'll tell you more about the relationship's potential than just counting candles on a cake. 😎✨

[CuriousMoonFox]

Don't we just love Doctor Brad? Say do you play tennis with your female counterpart?

[OlderAndWiser]

If you are 70 years old, a ten year gap doesn't seem to be a big deal. If you are 20 years old, a ten year gap could lead to a life sentence. You should state at which age you want us to consider the question.

[JustinTheGreat]

I think people who are 30+ pursing young adults is a bit creepy regardless of gender. I don’t care about the age of consent, what are you doing as a grown adult going after people who are straight out of high school? lol.
i don’t even wanna befriend someone who is 18-21 at my grown age much less date them.
it gets to the point where your maturity and life experience makes a huge power dynamic between you. 18 year olds are not mature. Theyre a teenager who happens to be *legally* labeled as an adult. There’s no reason to be fucking with someone that young when you’re grown.

but once someone is like 25, they’re fully mature and I don’t think them dating much older is a problem.

[DryGermanGuy]

I present to you Miss Anna Nicole Smith: :-D

[CuriousMoonFox]

🤣🤣🤣 I don't wanna judge but this must be true love.

[DryGermanGuy]

I think here we should judge. The old guy died not long after the marriage and left a massive inheritance chaos with his children and family to sort out.

[CuriousMoonFox]

Yeah, I guess it wasn't as fun for them as it was for me. That picture sure made my day 😂

[KingslayerC]

I don't think creepy is the right term here. It's just abuse.

[MisterWack]

It personally gives me the ‘ick’ to think of a person dating someone who was 18 when they were 5 - 10, it is weird when you correlate numbers…. If they met when they were both 18+ then completely fine though the numbers game really gives me a YUCK! in my head and facial features. It is weird to me.

[ginger_snap]

After both are 30, it does not matter how old each are. By then, people are mature enough to understand their choices

When someone is in their 20s, I'd say 10 years difference is a good limit.

[Anonymous]

It's not so much about age as it is about a balance in maturity, life goals, and that one isn't trying to take advantage of the other

[Justhereforananswer]

For me, I think it would get uncomfortable if the person I'm dating was anywhere near my parents age. My parents were fairly young when they had me (18 and 19) so for me personally, 12 years would be about the maximum age difference.

[Zack-Bann]

When one party is under the age of 18


Every other case is fair game and a personal choice that is no one else’s business

[MK1997]

What if the 18 year old was your kid with a much older person

[Zack-Bann]

I would raise my kid to make good decisions, if that good decision involves an older partner there will be no problem with it

I will point out the challenges of one such relationship and make sure my kid has all the facts

But I will not accept other people branding it as creepy when it’s not even any of their business

[molonski2]

All mine are pretty much at least 20 years , so I dont think its anyones place to judge frankly.

[Nikki1989]

It has more to do with the actual ages than the age gap itself.

[CuriousMoonFox]

What about gender? I feel like a 20 year old man with 40 year old woman is less frowned upon than the other way round.

[KingslayerC]

It's less frowned upon because of competition. People aren't really competing for 40 year old women or 20 year old men. A ton of people are competing for 40 year old men and 20 year old women. But people will lie through their teeth and act like it's not what's going on.

[BCA6010]

If one is old enough to be the other's parent, it's weird.

[love_conquers_lust]

https://www.youtube.com/embed/XqkoEX9-wQQ

*****

[Anonymous]

When it's predatory. That could be any age gap.

[manhattan_betsy]

It becomes creepy when she calls you daddy.

[CuriousMoonFox]

😆 I have heard some women call their husbands (after having kids) daddy (mostly in the bedroom) completely without big age gaps. In the hispanic world even couples without kids use papito for their husbands. But yeah I agree with you.

[LiamJHayden]

For me if she is more than 20 years older I get cautious

[Christopherthegreat]

Depends. I was 39 when I split with my 20 year old ex, we weee together 2 years

[noohair]

Why should societal beliefs decide when and how two adults find happiness with each other?

[Abbycado]

Depends on the age and the gap

[CuriousMoonFox]

Yes. People tend to care less when it's about people beyond their 40s. 40 year old woman and 60 year old man might not make sense to some but they wouldn't call it creepy.

[Abbycado]

Exactly my point.

[FunkyMonkee]

ONLY when YOU decide it is!

[paledreams]

I said a gap of 15 years 😃😋

[MK1997]

18 plus

Age is just a number for sex

[Mia2004]

When they are old enough to be your parent.

[Anonymous]

If it's more than two decades of age gap.

[Slim57]

When it's below 18