How do you get over an unrequited love?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

Most of my "love" is unrequited... and it's hard to say, as sometimes it's different for interacting with different women.

So, I tend to bury myself in work. Sometimes, the fact that these things don't last long, I can kind of look at it like, "ok, I actually dodged a bullet there." "Yes, some of it was fun, but there were a LOT of games, and it only would have increased the longer you stayed together. You didn't need the hassle. You deserve better than a girl who cheats... And you're free sooner than you thought. Less wasted time with a bad fit."

Sometimes, some tend to show who they really are underneath, and it isn't pretty. It's almost like a light bulb going out... suddenly, I want to get away from her.

I think if I'm around them long enough, whether dating or just crushes, they "eventually" show some big red flags. And most of the girls aren't really that good at hiding it for long; either they don't care, or they get lazy... Maybe the facade lasts six months, at most. Often with girlfriends, it's like a month or two. They don't really care about the relationship, and they think they've now got better, so they show those red flags pretty quickly. And I become unnattracted just as quickly sometimes.

It's sometimes disappointment - sort of "mourning" the person she was pretending to be... that that doesn't really exist, when I had some hope that she'd be differrent; sometimes there's also overthinking the... "why didn't you see that until recently?") Sometimes that can last... then comes the work and burying myself in it until I can sort of look in on it from "the outside."

[Anonymous]

By accepting the reality. As long as you hold onto hope you're not going to most past it.

[Alwayreckles93]

Look I know this is going to sound horrible but better be hurt by the truth then comfort with a lie. Speaking from my own testimony and life experience when a men DOES LOVE YOU ! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! No matter how beautiful you are. How much you work out or wealthy successful and you are. If he doesn't love you he doesn't love you. A woman can have scars defect be over weight but he the guys loves you hey he loves you. I came to realize that when I cought my ex. Why bother wasting my energy an a momma's boy who never spend time with me but yet went behind my back and cheated. Nope do not waste your time.

[Vesuvius87]

You get over it by waking up from your fantasy, accepting reality (they don't feel the same and you'll never have a real relationship with them), go out there and meet other available men interested in you. He isn't the only single fish in the world.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, unrequited love, the heart's ultimate drama! As a relationship coach, I'm here to remind you to prioritize yourself. Redirect this energy into self-care, building new connections, and finding passions that excite you. Time is a wonderful healer, and focusing on your growth can uncover amazing things. Remember, you're fabulous, and someone out there is going to realize it! 😘 Keep that chin up!

[ohsheeT]

So let me ask you are you the person that loves the other person that doesn't know or the person that doesn't feel the same way

[Asker]

I'm the person that loves the other person but they know. They just friendzoned me.

[ohsheeT]

Ok that's what I thought but not sure so. First of all. . Love is beautiful and same time love sucks because it takes two people to make that love work

And when you feel what you feel on the inside of your body . And then add on top of that that person doesn't feel the same way it's a blow to the body to your nervous system your energy your emotions

But you have a couple things going on
I can feel your energy and I feel that you see and feel things deeper than a lot of people so that makes me question a couple things about you being an empath
And if you are an empath that's why it's so hard to get over what you feel because what you feel is a very beautiful thing it's warm it's in tense it's sensual it's almost sexual 24 hours a day and it's beautiful and when you can connect with somebody and become one with them it's even more beautiful and since you can feel that if that's what you are feeling sometimes your body just craves that too

That's the first thing I would say because I would be curious if you're an empath for some reason I'm going to say yes because when I feel or talk to another empath I get this feeling inside of me like the one I just described kind of and then you can learn so many different other things but anyway

No matter who you are no matter what you feel you have to understand it's okay and it's okay if somebody doesn't love you back and the thing is is you don't want them to love you back not unless it is 100% real because if it's not it's never going to work there's going to be drama heartache headache for until you realize it really
So first thing understand that you cannot make him love you you can't make anybody love you except for yourself and you don't want him to do that like I just said if it's not real so you have to accept that you have to acknowledge

[ohsheeT]

that and then you have to look at yourself and love yourself and have the confidence knowing it doesn't matter you're going to move on no matter what you've ever been through in life you just keep moving on right this is the same thing
Everything happens for a reason

This reason for you is because you needed to understand this learn how to deal with it because you're going to go through something just like this somewhere down the road but you had to learn from this one it's not so much what happens to us it's how we react and how we get back up and keep going forward that's the key to everything that we do so you have to love yourself you have to understand this really isn't a negative it's a positive and you will see that Sunday because you are meant to learn from this so you can go to the next step I know it's hard to do but I guarantee it I can feel it within you that you can do it you can do just about anything you want to I can feel that so let it go just let it go acknowledge it accept it let it go and the sooner you do that all the pain all the hurt all the thinking that you have done will leave your body will leave your face and make your face relax so you look different because all those anxieties just grip a hold of you and just start squeezing and that's how you start getting wrinkles LOL but believe in yourself love yourself because there's nothing wrong with you don't blame yourself don't do anything except for let it go say there's a reason for it I'm going to let it go because there's somebody waiting for me that just wants to hold me kiss my lips slow and soft and tell me that they love me that's what you need to understand because that's the truth it will happen when you allow it to first things first let it go

[Asker]

Thanks and I think I am an empath which makes things so much worse in my case because when I feel, I feel hard. But you're right, I have to let go and move on. It's the hardest thing in the world and it's going to take time but I will eventually get over it hopefully. Thanks again. I appreciate your kind words and understanding!

[ohsheeT]

Yes I'm an empath and I could feel your energy from right here the West Coast I don't know where you're at but I mean I can feel you deep I could feel you as if you're standing right in front of me
And the thing is it's not going to take a long time it's going to take as long as you wanted to take that's the bottom line right there
And here's the other thing you know that beautiful feeling that you get that sometimes you crave even a lot of times you're feeling yourself but becoming one did you guys become one with each other because that will always be harder to get rid of is that feeling but I can tell you how exactly how to get rid of it because it's you you are the only person on the inside of you you're the only person that has thoughts feelings whether they're good or bad and it's a mindset and when you understand that you can't make anybody love you you will really understand who you truly are I would explore you being an empath even more because that will tell you even more because being an empath is beautiful

[ohsheeT]

And you said you feel and you feel hard and it's going to take some time you will eventually get over it hopefully . There is no hopefully it will happen because you have things to do would you mind DM and me and I can talk to you about a few things and it might make you see different things and maybe it won't take as long to get over I mean it's up to you but I think it would help you it's nothing major it's just I don't know I think you would enjoy the talk anyway

[Asker]

I appreciate you for your kind words but I don't think I want to talk about it. I just want to kind of move on from the situation and let it go. Thank you though. ❤️

[ohsheeT]

Yeah honestly I didn't want to talk about it either I'm wanted to talk about you being an empath and I wanted to hear a couple of years of what you feel or what you think because that helps me grow and hearing maybe some of my stories would help you will yeah no I wanted to let that go that's between you and him and you LOL I wanted to move on to a different thing and that you get an empath I'm an impasse and I want to know what you know because I need to experience everything

[Asker]

I'm in a lot of pain right now. My roommate is going through a lot of mourning and I can feel her pain everyday. My best guy friend also just lost people close to him. So I feel their pain on top of the pain I feel from the unrequited love. So it's just really tough dealing with it without wanting to harm myself. It's just too much. Talking about it is just going to make it worse for me. I'd rather just keep it all in and just try to deal as best I can. Being an empath sucks. I don't want to feel their pain but I do.

[ohsheeT]

Yeah I kind of felt that you're going through something and to be honest with you I was just going to be a smart-ass and try to make you laugh and just take a whole different conversations somewhere way out there so you didn't have to feel nothing anymore that's what my plan was because I feel you like you feel your friends and I can also feel the happy you if you just let it go or if you had a way to just take it away whether it's for 10 minutes 20 minutes it doesn't matter just to change the frame of mind but that's was my goal I was going to take you to hopefully a place you've never been before because I feel your energy I like your energy and whether you know it or not you can control your energy
A few years back I got so sick and tired of feeling everybody's negative energy they're just whiny energy they're back breaking energy anything negative and they would come around me I would pick up on it and I got sick of it I said no more if it's not going to be positive energy I do not want to feel it no more and I will not feel it no more so there that's what you have to do too but but yeah if I had my way I would be a smart-ass and make you laugh your ass off you know something new something different I just went through the same thing I just lost both my parent's my dad was 8 8 1/2 months ago my mom was like 7 7 1/2 months ago

[ohsheeT]

And please will you do something for me if you ever think about harming yourself or whatever please just get a hold of me I can tell you some things that will blow you away about that and I mean it will change your outlook on everything I have one of these days you can just find everything and just clear your mind but I hope one of these days you allow me to just come into your world and talk to you for a few minutes I mean it's worth a try it might just change your whole life your whole attitude but please don't ever do anything because there's a reason why you're here and once you feel that and find it it will change you

[ohsheeT]

And if you're really down and out you have to get over me because I will give you my energy I will give you all of my energy and you will feel something you never ever felt before that is so beautiful it will just spin you in circles so please I'm taking you just don't do anything crazy stupid weird except for talk to me LOL because I want to definitely help you there's a reason for it and shake off all the negative energy you can do it you are powerful don't allow things to hurt harm or take you different directions in your life your destiny you are you have more control than anybody in your household that are is around you anybody that you know you are very powerful don't allow me negative to win because thes a holy war going on and anybody in your life that has drama or ignorance or manipulation or just bull crap that's the reason why they're there because they know who you are and they want to pull you to their side don't allow it anyway I'm going to stop bothering you because I really do want you to talk to me and I don't want to make it worse thank you and smile

[Billlewis]

My philosophy is basically that I either get what I want, or I'll take nothing, which is why, since the unrequited condition arrived, I've never married.

[disappoint3d]

Bro, do you know what commas are?

[ohsheeT]

@disappoint3d

Thank you I sure do I think I was in one for probably a few days I just snapped out of it but thanks for asking

[Anonymous]

One the things people such as likely yourself (and myself definitely) is we are often love (and sex) fantasy addicts. And this problem has long pre-existed the person you are heartbroken over.

It took me nearly 8 years to get over one ex. That is to look at stark reality and look the ugly truth the face at an emotional level.

Logically I knew the truth that there was close to zero chance I would ever get back with her only few weeks after she dumped me. But I was legit sex and fantasy addict and the emotional part of my brain torture me with false hope. But what I didn’t understand was the real problem I had pre-existed her since I was a teenager. It was about me escaping to fantasy because I couldn’t tolerate reality.

I highly recommend you try out a SLAA meeting (sex love addicts anonymous) meeting. It really hard at first but I’ve really come a long way. Because if you don’t get this fantasy (unrequited love) under control you I can promise you that you will look for other unhealthy escapes to cope with it. I made some very self destructive decisions after how my ex girlfriend broke up with me.

[Miristheiss]

Usually that is the easiest to move on from. If you make your move and take your chance and tell a person you are interested and they say they aren't interested then that door slams in your face and it is easy to move on because you know it is a lost cause. The people you never tell, the chance you never take, those are the ones that linger with regret.

If someone tells me they are not interested I immediately move on and lose all interest. There is nothing to get over. You know 100% the answer is no. Move on to all of the other potential people to meet and go out with.

[Altheavas]

His love was never yours to begin, you have focused too much of your energy on someone that wasn’t yours; That’s why you’re feeling so much pain. Maybe get out a little, find different groups you may fit in, meet new people. The world doesn’t revolved around him.
I wish I could say I understood your pain to an extent but it different for everybody.

[Jay-_-]

If you know it for sure and it's final the best thing you can do is concentrate on yourself and know that you are worth someone who loves you equally if not more, I know it's hard cause realistically if you love them it's not easy but it takes time and a strong mind to remember you are worth more than someone who doesn't love you back.

[jazzy34]

You just move on with your life. Believe me. Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt. Shift your focus onto the people who do love you, meaning your family and friends. 😊

[Billlewis]

You don't -- you just try to live with it, like a medical condition, etc. I've been living with an unrequited love for more than twenty five years now, while still engaging in relationships.

[Flower7]

Realize that maybe the person wasn’t as perfect as you thought and could have possibly caused you pain and distress if things had escalated between you.

[Nikki1989]

Redirect your energy towards personal growth, self-improvement, and meeting someone else. It is not complicated.

[AmeerX]

Is it really unrequited love? You love them from qualities they possess. Please snap out of it and find a good man to settle down or you will be alone all life. n

[SuchSightsToShowYou]

Have sex with your unrequited love's best friend, or brother, or father, or boss, or girlfriend, or dad.

Then sit back and watch the drama unfold.

[LiamJHayden]

I have never suffered that as I see love as something I choose to give, not as something I feel.

[SunnyRS]

You don't.
It always stays there you just keep moving forward daily and someday it becomes a distant feeling.

[disappoint3d]

You fuck someone hotter than the last one, more than once. Just don't let them dump you too.

[smashleyy]

working on your self esteem

[FunkyMonkee]

You tell me what it is and I'll let you know.

[MannMitAntworten]

With whiskey and serial poor decision making….

[RHK36]

By keeping it real with yourself and moving on

[Jamie05rhs]

Tell us more about him.

[TrustOfWorthington]

Chose a drug pf your choice

[KrakenAttackin]

You suck it up and move on.

[RedInnocent69]

You can’t, really. That’s what makes it unrequited

[notCryHONEY]

drink beer, this will help

[paledreams]

Ya move on 😶😶‍🌫️

[Jmmmfi4]

I DON'T