Why do girls go for guys who are already in relationships?

Question

Know a guy who is already in a relationship for a few years. He and another girl only met each other for a few weeks, he would tease her and she would find him rude, but slowly seemed to feel comfortable with him. They are now like buddies, chatting to each other casually and making fun of each other. Girl would sometimes ask the guy if he was coming along or going home alr as though they've become good pals. From what I've observed in other relationships as well, if the guy were to break up with his current girlfriend, then the new "good friend" will become his girlfriend. Are girls just waiting for it to happen?

abbyjgriffin98 · Accepted Answer

Some are, some aren't. For the ones who are, I don't think it's always intentional. Whenever I had a crush on a guy who was taken, it was because he was the naturally charismatic guy who was flirting with me and I didn't know he had a girlfriend. But whenever I found the guy I had a crush on had a girlfriend, I would stay away. Mostly because I wouldn't want to lower my standards and become a homewrecker. But I also know it would hurt me in the long run. Because at the end of the day, he's always going to choose his girlfriend. Even if he's sleeping with you on the side. And if he does break up with his girlfriend for you, that's a very toxic relationship. Because if he does that to her, he'll do that to you. I think in a lot of these cases, the girl starts out not knowing he was taken and when she finds out, it's difficult to distance herself from him. Either that or she is just the type of person who wants what she can't have. That's not the best character trait and I think if you're like that, you need to take a step back, stop dating/getting into relationships and find out more about yourself. Because if you want what your can't have, it usually stems down to feeling like you're not worthy enough to be loved so your confirmation bias makes you want something you know you will never have. You can't love anyone if you don't love yourself. And when you don't love yourself, how can you expect another person to love you?

SeriouslyNotSerious · Accepted Answer

There's always something lacking in them, either loneliness, looking for validation, thrill, or desperation. Maybe all of that.

But we must not always blame ONLY the girl. The man is also the one to blame. Both of them. 😏 Man's supposed to be the one stopping this but still continued. Can't discipline himself and stop the girl.

Texaskid1 · Accepted Answer

Women are ALWAYS attracted to the man that is spoken for. I have seen guys who look life ogres with huge beer bellies all crusty and dusty and yet the ladies swoon over them because they have a wife and this makes them more desirable. The times in my life when I had a girlfriend all of the sudden all these other women come out of the woodwork. Now that I am single I don't get as much interest and this: I work out and dress well and keep up with good hygiene but that all pales in comparison to already having a women when it comes to attracting other women.

Some years ago we had a new female coworker. She was was from one of our overseas branches. I had a few interesting conversation with her - I would ask her about her country and what not. Understand that this was platonic on my part. I did not consider her attractive by any means. But I guess since some people saw us talking and so a rumor spread that we were dating. All of the sudden females at work that never gave me a second look were eyeing me and smiling at me and what not. It was all a bit surreal - and laughable.

Such is the nature of women.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Most girls don’t lol but the ones that do never find a meaningful relationship. Most are people of dark personalities who cannot build any genuine connection. So what they do is they feel the need to steal it from others part of it is envoy and another part of it is just that sick desire to destroy.

People who are willing to cheat with you will probably cheat on you. That goes for both persons so when they burn each other then both play the victim. I don’t want to hear it….

It’s obvious when someone isn’t able to build a connection with someone so they want to get in the middle of someone else’s. Because sleeping with someone is easy but building a genuine relationship takes effort, work, and sacrifice. Things they aren’t willing and lack the capacity to do because of who they choose to be.

Some people want want what they cannot have which makes them miserable in the end. Because once they finally obtain it they are never happy they get bored and want the next thing. They are just such miserable people it’s not even funny and they take that misery out on everyone else.

razelove · Answer

It's kind of like why companies want to hire 1st tier from people who already have jobs. You have and are proving your worth, even if the rest of your resume is made up. It's a value judgement that doesn't take further validating or wondering.

Also you aren't horn dogging as much, so it's probably easier for women to be at ease around you. Since you're getting yours on a regular. Like you're just being yourself.

You're living what you say you are. It's far less common as you get older though. I'd say after maybe being 30 I haven't had women swoon over me being successfully dating or married. If it's any aspect of my life now it would be when I'm out alone with my kids and they're not choking on water or something.

Finchie40 · Answer

Because she wants what she doesn’t have , he is a challenge to her , she knows he is already involved with someone else , so she wants him to choose her , over his girlfriend or wife instead . She is drawn to his maturity and the way he presents himself , especially if he is a hard working man that provides for his family and is well put together , she feels if he can be a loving caring man , he will hopefully be that for her , if he decides to go for her

Simslover92 · Answer

Why do guys do it too? I know a guy who is about to ruin a marriage because he's in love with the wife and she is in love with him.

Apple1996 · Answer

It goes both ways. People just like forbidden fruit

overlord337645 · Answer

I think part of what makes us human is that we dont really choose love it just happens but how we act on it is diffrent so my 2 cents worth is this. I think its fine to wait for someone but there is a few important notes to take first the first one is you should not date them right after they break up the second is dont spend all your time on them there are others out there and the third is if you do date right after both of you need to ask why you want to is it just for more sex or because you actually think you both have a future together

MisterWack · Answer

Attraction doesn’t end when someone is in a relationship. Think about celebrities in a committed relationship, lots of women crush & gossip & get all flustered over attractive celebrities even when they are married or have a partner because it doesn’t make them less attractive or less approachable or less lovable / less talented to that individual.

Where it goes troublesome is when women try to get a guy to cheat on their significant other / partner in order to get them all to themselves…. One woman I heard of, did this exact thing then the man cheated on her which broke not only her heart, but the woman who originally loved him so don’t let it get out of hand or else people’s hearts will be broken and none will be spared.

texascollegegirl · Answer

It might could be there is a physical reason she is aware of that you are not... like he has a big dick. For those kind of guys, rudeness and cockiness can be very attractive and a kind of flirting. It doesn't work with guys who don't have those physical gifts.

Kelley1 · Answer

That is because girls go for the more attractive or desirable guys. There are many exceptions, but generally, guys in a relationship are more appealing, which is why they are able to have a relationship. There are other minor reason but looks, smarts, and desirability are the primary reason. Girls go for a hot good looking married man before a retarded, fat single guy.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Because he's been vetted by someone else. If a guy had been single for a while women will think something is wrong with him. If a guy has a pretty girlfriend he's automatically seen as a decent guy no matter what he looks like or how much money he has. A female wingman or wingwoman is a million times better than male wingman because if other women like this guy he must be a decent guy. A big part of that is safety and seeing other women feeling safe around a guy

SixFootSexy · Answer

Women looooove  social status . Any man who already has a woman has "social proof" a good way to hack this is by taking your sister or grandma out in public. If she's having a good time, other women want to be involved. It just gets your foot in the door as - not a creep. A bit black-pilled but, "Women wait at the finish line and f*** the winners."

mobiusforniner · Answer

This is an interesting question and I don’t think it is necessarily generalized. The women I’ve experienced who do this, suffer from some kind of self esteem issue. Either they feel the man is safe and unlikely to develop romantic interest, or they find satisfaction / validation in competition. Both cases indicate the person is damaged in some way.

Anonymous · Answer

Many women are attracted to the fact that they guy is desirable to other women and is turned on by the thought of a taken man being so attracted to her that he’s willing to risk his relatio ship and pick her over his girlfriend/wife. It’s some sort of crazy psycho kink that inflates theese womens ego. They want the friend to want them to prove they’re more desirable than the mans partner.

Anonymous · Answer

Preselection bias/preference is as old as the species itself. Take two guys, both identical. Have one be alone and single for the last ten years, have the other be surrounded by girls. We both know which one the other girls are going after. it's a biological instinct. Women aren't conscious of it and actively doing dirtbag stuff.

Anonymous · Answer

He’s “proven…” Tried-and-true.

Other women want him, have been with him, he “must have something that women want,” therefore, “he is attractive.”

Very tribal, group-think…

For men, it is the opposite… show us someone attractive, yet HASN’T been with anyone else. Very logical, in interest of protecting her and the desired relationship. “She has no one to compare me to… no desire to act on other impulses.”

Flower7 · Answer

This is why it’s not good for people in relationships to maintain friendships with the opposite gender.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Because if a guy has a girlfriend or wife he seems more valuable.. Girls are garbage and think they are higher value if she can take the guy away from someone.. but really they are just two low value people..

Anonymous · Answer

Because with those women believe it or not the guy is actually incidental. You could take any desired guy and plug him in there. Because it's not really the guy, but what the guy represents to this woman. A guy who's already in a relationship is already in demand. So to this woman not only does she get the guy. But she also get to deny another woman her spoils. And to this woman that's really the only thing that makes this guy valuable.

molonski2 · Answer

Its along the lines of " You don't want the job that's been vacant for two years "  Women are of course drawn to those who are sort after , this is quite natural.

Sl8bslurp · Answer

Most women do not do this but some do. That's usually because they have some sort of personal issue, like fear of commitment, so they are more interested in guys who are emotionally unavailable. Others may do so as an ego boost or they may create an unconscious attraction in their mind because he's "pre-vetted" by someone already.

Miristheiss · Answer

Knowing other women want a man makes them want him. Other women deeming him a catch makes women think he is more of a catch.

Snowbunnyalex · Answer

The forbidden fruit always tastes the sweetest

Kabluie · Answer

Not every relationship is monogamous, sometimes it's still a good match if they are open, non-mono, or poly.

Vegasrunner · Answer

It's because the things that make men attractive are rare, therefore if a man had it, you can be sure that other women want him and men are only as faithful as their options.

WowGIrl4ever · Answer

I've waited for a guy to be out of a relationship to pursue him not during one because he was awesome and worth the wait

MisfitsLover92 · Answer

They love the thrill of "haha I got your man and you can't do a thing about it!" It's all about competition.

exitseven · Answer

I noticed this right after I got married. I started to get hit on.

MrIrishMan · Answer

I personally never seen this happen or agree when everyone says this. When I’m in relationships, girls pretend I don’t exist. However when I’m single I actually get attention. I’m still same weight, looks, nothing changed.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

The guys have been pre-vetted by the girlfriend.

blackeagle007 · Answer

I used to single people out but gotten realitstic. Some people are born dumbasses regardless of gender.

es20490446e · Answer

If a guy is liked by many people, there shall be a reason.

CarolinaGirl5 · Answer

The same reason men want the woman that every guy wants or has.

scott04sa22 · Answer

Because taken people are more attractive and more experienced

In_Trance · Answer

Because single guts are desperate.  Desperation is ugly

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Forbidden fruit type of thing.  The forbidden is attractive to people.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Some girls find attached boys more attractive than totally free lads.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Women want men who are desired by other women.

Anonymous · Answer

They can seem happy and comfortable in themselves, not needy or pushy, house broken and proven.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Girls do not go for Mommy's Boy.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Because women love ruining the lives of men

PsychicBoobs · Answer

Simple The hard work is done.

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

I don’t that’s disgusting

noohair · Answer

Women want what other women have...

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Mainly because of jealousy

captain_voidwalker · Answer

2 words, confirmation bias.

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

They're skanks!

Why do girls go for guys who are already in relationships?

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Why do girls go for guys who are already in relationships?

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Why do guys like girls who are already in relationships?

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